"Itachi Chronicles" - Sadness.. by Kenshin Himura

[John Constantine]

U stopped? or did u finish it and i forgot to read the last chap. u wrote

Last chapter i wrote was 1.0.. "One last visit"..

As i had explained. I thought of doing the chronicles in 3 stages and possibly 20+ chapters (10 already made)..
But i just don't feel like continue.. I also gonna be gone probably for a week (I'm still interned in Hospital)..
If you guys keep bumping the thread and commenting the thread. Then i'll probably sneak out the Chronicles until the end, when i get back.. I hope you all have liked it

 

[ReLax -]

Last chapter i wrote was 1.0.. "One last visit"..

As i had explained. I thought of doing the chronicles in 3 stages and possibly 20+ chapters (10 already made)..
But i just don't feel like continue.. I also gonna be gone probably for a week (I'm still interned in Hospital)..
If you guys keep bumping the thread and commenting the thread. Then i'll probably sneak out the Chronicles until the end, when i get back.. I hope you all have liked it

Oh ok. srry to hear that. get better bro

 

[Naruto_Lee]

pretty good but i think u could have added more info.............................and i have posted my new fanfic..................pls read it and comment it...........pls give the fanfiction's writers some motivation guys................

You must be registered for see links

pls read it

 

[John Constantine]

pretty good but i think u could have added more info

Like what?? I described his state of mind,emotions and so and so.. A "Novel" is something that is a build-up slowly and progressivly. You just don't spit everything all together..

 

[itachi978]

this is pretty cool i like the yuh made it as some1 real feelings

 

[John Constantine]

this is pretty cool i like the yuh made it as some1 real feelings

Showing and describing feelings through writting is very important. It even helps to live with your own..

Thanks..

 

[Naruto_Lee]

Actually despite my username. Saito Hajime & Aoshi Shinomori are actually my favourite in the Rurouni Kenshin series..
I just think Kenshin Himura sounds better. I much prefer Kenshin character from the OVAS then from the series itself..

Also Itachi and Kenshin do have some similarities. A curiosity, Kishimoto first intended to base the Kakashi character solely on Kenshin Himura, but that didn't work and he abandoned the idea.. Maybe he used it for Itachi on some way or another..

and my favourite was sanosuke sagara and kenshin himora in that series.........and this chapter was pretty gooddddd.........

 

[aconjunto]

preety good fanfics man
congrats

 

[John Constantine]

preety good fanfics man
congrats

Thanks.. I might continue or do some different stuff like the story of Kakuzu.

 

[Sharpism]

As said it was good, however littered with a few flaws and things I disagree with from a personal stand point.

Shisui shouldn't have had a collapsed throat, that would have been traceable through the Autopsy. Though a VERY powerful beginning point to chose on. I thought that beginning could have had a lot meaning, my opinion changed as I read throughout the rest of the chapters; showed that Itachi wasn't 100% committed to the task at hand. Very good beginning!

Though a strong start it sort of lacked in the meeting with Danzou, as I personally think it should have been a bit more formal along with that, not only Danzou but the Elders should have been there as well, with Itachi contemplating internally about the deeds he's is asked to commit after wards.
Maybe should have done that chapter more internally with describing the deeds and then have Itachi contemplating the decision by himself.

Chapter 2 references Itachi's mother,"mom" isn't really a word I see Itachi using.

Overall a enjoyable and pretty accurate telling of the Event and events leading up to the Uchiha Massacre. Good job! :]

 

[John Constantine]

As said it was good, however littered with a few flaws and things I disagree with from a personal stand point.

Shisui shouldn't have had a collapsed throat, that would have been traceable through the Autopsy. Though a VERY powerful beginning point to chose on. I thought that beginning could have had a lot meaning, my opinion changed as I read throughout the rest of the chapters; showed that Itachi wasn't 100% committed to the task at hand. Very good beginning!

Though a strong start it sort of lacked in the meeting with Danzou, as I personally think it should have been a bit more formal along with that, not only Danzou but the Elders should have been there as well, with Itachi contemplating internally about the deeds he's is asked to commit after wards.
Maybe should have done that chapter more internally with describing the deeds and then have Itachi contemplating the decision by himself.

Chapter 2 references Itachi's mother,"mom" isn't really a word I see Itachi using.

Overall a enjoyable and pretty accurate telling of the Event and events leading up to the Uchiha Massacre. Good job! :]

Finally someone noticed the plot-hole in chapter one.. I could have corrected that but i just didn't..
I agree i could have done the second chapter better as well.. Not in the part of being more formal and having the elders but i could have put some more internal conflict in that chapter.. like i did in chapter one.. Which was the one people seemed to have enjoyed the most..

 

[Sharpism]

xD Just more emphasis on those sorts of things, it's a big decision and not enough thought on Itachi's part.

Personally I think Itachi killed Shisui with Genjutsu. o____o

 

[Michael92]

Nice, i liked it Damn you wrote these chapters at a quick pase, good work! I like the story and how you describes the characters feelings. You manage to get very deep without making it boring.

Still i miss some parts like Sarutobi and Danzo and the elders confrontation after Danzou rejecting Hokage sama`s order, and i also missed the part where Itachi acctually killed his parents. Some sentence about that would have been nice to see.

Maybe also Danzo taking Shishue`s eye. Wonder if he did it the night Itachi killed him(would be quit obvious that he didn`t take suicide then if he were missing an eyexd) or if he took it at the actual night of the massacre(sneaking in at the corpse house and stealing it or somethingxd).

But overall i really enjoyed it, and are you going to make another part, or is the "Akatsuki" FF the sequal to this FF? Maybe its the FF you`re currently making? If its the later, i hope that you will continue on this one too

 

[John Constantine]

Nice, i liked it Damn you wrote these chapters at a quick pase, good work! I like the story and how you describes the characters feelings. You manage to get very deep without making it boring.

Still i miss some parts like Sarutobi and Danzo and the elders confrontation after Danzou rejecting Hokage sama`s order, and i also missed the part where Itachi acctually killed his parents. Some sentence about that would have been nice to see.

Maybe also Danzo taking Shishue`s eye. Wonder if he did it the night Itachi killed him(would be quit obvious that he didn`t take suicide then if he were missing an eyexd) or if he took it at the actual night of the massacre(sneaking in at the corpse house and stealing it or somethingxd).

But overall i really enjoyed it, and are you going to make another part, or is the "Akatsuki" FF the sequal to this FF? Maybe its the FF you`re currently making? If its the later, i hope that you will continue on this one too

You have the point when i should have made more meaningful Itachi killing his own parents but this was kind of a rush job.. I have writed everything in about one hour while staying in hospital..
Was just an experiment and my first work in a fanfiction.. Was just to test my abilities with manga stuff..
Also keep in mind i'm quite limited on what i can do in this language as english is not my mother tongue.. If it was in my language it would have been much better..
Still i'm proud that many people are emailing me thanking me and asking me for help after reading this one..

 

[Michael92]

I didn`t know that. I was sure that you were from England, USA or something like thatBut you still didn`t answer my last and only question though?

 

[John Constantine]

I didn`t know that. I was sure that you were from England, USA or something like thatBut you still didn`t answer my last and only question though?

I'm from Portugal.. And i did answered.. "Akatsuki" is not the sequel of this FanFiction.. Is a different and separated project..
And many people are asking for a sequel of this one but i'm not gonna make it,sorry guys.. At most i can revise,clean and get this one more perfected and posted again..

 

[Michael92]

Okey you did answer, but that was on the other FF so that doesn`t countxd
Ahh, nice Your English is quite good from being from Portugal then. At least better then mine
Well if you`re not going to make a sequal, then do a crossover Like make a FF where you do 5 parts or so on just Itachi`s recruitment into Akatsuki, then make a new FF about Akatsuki, making it continue the story, even without being a sequal... Hey wait, you guys are already making that Then do the crossover, or the same thing as you`ve done now, only from another perspective, like Sasuke Might get boring thoughxd

Anyway, can`t wait for part 2 on Sharpism and your FF See you there i guess And a lot of smilies there also:-/

 

[John Constantine]

Okey you did answer, but that was on the other FF so that doesn`t countxd
Ahh, nice Your English is quite good from being from Portugal then. At least better then mine
Well if you`re not going to make a sequal, then do a crossover Like make a FF where you do 5 parts or so on just Itachi`s recruitment into Akatsuki, then make a new FF about Akatsuki, making it continue the story, even without being a sequal... Hey wait, you guys are already making that Then do the crossover, or the same thing as you`ve done now, only from another perspective, like Sasuke Might get boring thoughxd

Anyway, can`t wait for part 2 on Sharpism and your FF See you there i guess And a lot of smilies there also:-/

My beloved fan. I'm out of the FanFiction scene for a while..

 

[Michael92]

I`ve already given a similar comment on your(and Sharpism) other FF, but any luck on a new part of either the FF here or the other?

 

[mato_3]

thats great