My girlfriend of 3 years dumped me; the third and final part.

[Sageflash]

Move on. Billions of fish in the sea. Go catch one.

I will, for Lord Gaara U_U

Sound like a loser

oh wait

is one.

Move on.

Get hit by a bus ASAP.

No offence, but you're describing your relationship with a girl, who can you can find better with another one, to an anime site. All I'm going to say is, move on and stop moaning.

Respect, but the venting helps. I can't say this shit to my IRL friends, they'd roast me to no end after they supported me through it. That's just how we roll.

She was his sea.

Almost poetic. Not bad

[video=youtube;4vPXpLWI76I]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4vPXpLWI76I[/video]

Ben Affleck is Batman.

Just do you man, the rest will fall into place. Don't waste your time ranting on a girl who's obviously not worth yours.

Best of Luck.

That's all I can do at this point, just letting the chips fall where they may. If she's not feeling all the effort, then my effort will go into her best friends.

Probably the best advice you'll get.

I can relate even though the roles were reversed in my situation. Don't sweat the bullshit and good luck to you.

Word. You too, man.

The best advice I can give you

You must be registered for see images

Duly Noted U_U

You don't happen to Reddit, do you? :x3: i only ask because your TL;DR amendment reminds me of it. Anyway, Too bad for the breakup, buddy. You will get over it in time hopefully! Be strong!

Nah, Reddit is a shithole. No offense to any Redditors who see this.

Listen to your heart my friend, that's the best advice I can give. At least then you can say you have no regrets, and it's what you really want.

Very true. I did all I could, no matter what happens from here.

This killed me

Lmao! Just more fuel to the fire. I don't need to see some obese Dr. Phil flaunting a brand new iPhone 6 when I could barely avoid an iPhone 5 I got like 3 months ago. And that POS doesn't even have a job besides playing StarCraft 16 hours a day and yelling at his kids.

It sucks when you give away parts of yourself that you shouldn't ever have to.
It sucks worse when you do that and it's still not enough.
It won't get better tomorrow or even next week.
But it will eventually get better.
Stay away from her, and take care of you.

Thanks, UzumakiSama.

**** her right in the *****

If we do go our separate ways, THAT will be the thing I missed most. Me and her were MOST DEFINITELY sexually compatible. Seems the craziest chicks are the best in bed. Wonder what the correlation is...

Is this thread really necessary??? I know u wanna vent out but it won't help.
It's always darkest before dawn and to forget one chick you need another.

I disagree with that on both parts. Venting helps and this is the only place I can turn. I don't care if the inhabitants of NB judge me, but my boys? Yeah, I care then. We've seen each other through several break-ups each, but once the wound is gone, we attack that shit any other. And I don't... want that with this relationship. So, they're on the back burner until this mess is sorted fully.

The reasons you said she gave you were the worst. That's how you know she's full of BS.

You're still in school, you have a lot of time to find the perfect girl. Although, your conclusion was a bad idea. I'm pretty sure most douche bags are just like that and don't have a reason. You shouldn't give up and you will get over her in time.

She was on some bullshit like Chicago, that's for sure. I know my closest IRL used to be a caring, sensitive guy prior to being heartbroken by 2 separate girls then decided the ******* route is the way to go. I may be following that course. 2 doesn't establish a pattern, but it's a good place to start.

tf did i just read..

Darude - Sandstorm.

Do what you think is best, see it through to the end.

That's all we can do in the end. To quote the homie Nas:

"Life's a ***** and then you die"

 

[Sageflash]

Maybe your greatest mistake is your sense of entitlement and [mis]understanding of both yourself and your girlfriend.



Do you really believe that?

There's no sense of entitlement nor any misunderstanding.

There's a guy who put his heart out there to a girl who promised she'd hold it carefully and never break it, but she did just that. Sure, Uncle Sageflash had a few missteps in the relationship and I acknowledged my own faults not only to her but to myself. But to expect somebody to keep their word and ask for the same effort to be put back in?

If you think that's entitled, you should change your name to Called a Moron because that's the vibe I'm getting. But thanks for the feedback nonetheless, Clara Wichmann.

 

[Tennis Robot]

I will, for Lord Gaara U_U

Get hit by a bus ASAP.

Respect, but the venting helps. I can't say this shit to my IRL friends, they'd roast me to no end after they supported me through it. That's just how we roll.

Almost poetic. Not bad

Ben Affleck is Batman.

That's all I can do at this point, just letting the chips fall where they may. If she's not feeling all the effort, then my effort will go into her best friends.

Word. You too, man.

Duly Noted U_U

Nah, Reddit is a shithole. No offense to any Redditors who see this.

Very true. I did all I could, no matter what happens from here.

Lmao! Just more fuel to the fire. I don't need to see some obese Dr. Phil flaunting a brand new iPhone 6 when I could barely avoid an iPhone 5 I got like 3 months ago. And that POS doesn't even have a job besides playing StarCraft 16 hours a day and yelling at his kids.

Thanks, UzumakiSama.

If we do go our separate ways, THAT will be the thing I missed most. Me and her were MOST DEFINITELY sexually compatible. Seems the craziest chicks are the best in bed. Wonder what the correlation is...

I disagree with that on both parts. Venting helps and this is the only place I can turn. I don't care if the inhabitants of NB judge me, but my boys? Yeah, I care then. We've seen each other through several break-ups each, but once the wound is gone, we attack that shit any other. And I don't... want that with this relationship. So, they're on the back burner until this mess is sorted fully.

She was on some bullshit like Chicago, that's for sure. I know my closest IRL used to be a caring, sensitive guy prior to being heartbroken by 2 separate girls then decided the ******* route is the way to go. I may be following that course. 2 doesn't establish a pattern, but it's a good place to start.

Darude - Sandstorm.

That's all we can do in the end. To quote the homie Nas:

"Life's a ***** and then you die"

To quote Nas: "Life's a ***** but god forbid the ***** divorce me"

Oh and you were actually quoting AZ.

There's no sense of entitlement nor any misunderstanding.

There's a guy who put his heart out there to a girl who promised she'd hold it carefully and never break it, but she did just that. Sure, Uncle Sageflash had a few missteps in the relationship and I acknowledged my own faults not only to her but to myself. But to expect somebody to keep their word and ask for the same effort to be put back in?

If you think that's entitled, you should change your name to Called a Moron because that's the vibe I'm getting. But thanks for the feedback nonetheless, Clara Wichmann.

You allowed that to happen. If you really didn't care, it wouldn't have hurt you. If you truly loved her, and didn't care whether she reciprocated your feelings, you would only want to make her happy. You felt that you were entitled to something, that she owed you something for everything you did for her.

 

[Sharingan King]

Well, I've certainly enjoyed this little soap opera. Please keep NB updated with part 4.

OT: If it was me I would have dumped her already. Best of luck though.

 

[alt for spamming]

At least you had a gf, dude Im 20 years old and I never had one. Always wanted to nut on a chick, anyways good luck man

 

[Aim64C]

One of the hardest things to do in life is to care about someone and feel they share a connection/attachment to your life.

The best advice I can give is to, regardless of what happens, remain true to yourself. This can be more difficult than you ever expect it to, as you begin to become aware of responsibilities you weren't aware of, before.

One of the most challenging for me has been the awareness of how easy deception/manipulation come to someone such as myself. I believe I described this to you in one of your previous threads, so I won't launch into a full retelling of the story - but I loved this girl. She was in every vision of my future and was at the center of every dream I was using to push myself forward after my mother had passed away.

When I started picking up problems - when there were inconsistencies in what she told me - I feared I was being replaced (she was rather... provocative ... when we met and it set the wrong tone for everything that would come - whether I correctly interpreted the things I saw later, or not). Anything I could do to get her to say that she loved me - to get her to tell me not to leave, that she still needed me - it was fair game. I didn't quite realize it at the time, but I was becoming emotionally abusive. An "I don't know how much longer I can keep things up like this" was meant to hear her say that we could pull through it - not because I actually felt that way. A "Do that and I won't talk to you again" was a blatant lie I could never follow through on - but could give me dominance and control.

By the time I sunk to that around the time my father passed away - I was too far gone to fully see what I'd become. Perhaps she was not being true to her end of the deal at first - but I can't blame her in the slightest for distancing herself from me afterward.

When you find yourself thinking about where would be the best place for her to find your dead body, and in what manner of killing yourself would leave the greatest impact - then you're forced to consider a few things about what it is you really want to do. It's not about ending the pain. It's about using pain and agony to control another person. What I wanted wasn't to die - but was to make her feel a certain way.

Which is a horrible way to behave.

That isn't to say that you are doing the same. I don't know - but it is a word of caution. When we feel like we are losing control over the things we care about - over the people we take for granted - we can often resort to any means we can conceive to regain that control.

It has changed how I deal with a lot of people after I realized what I was doing.

Who sets your value? Does she set your value? Are you worthless if she's no longer in your life?

No. But you have to find that intrinsic value and know that you will always have it no matter what happens. That doesn't mean you will be able to shrug off every unpleasant/undesirable/unwanted event without care... but it makes it easier to have a 'restore disk' - a concept of who you are in the absence of a partner.

And, from my own more recent experiences - it won't make the loss of someone you feel has become a part of your life any less painful or any more agreeable to you. But it will make it less frightening. It will also help you keep sight of what is important, rather than simply seeking to control the situation.

I have always viewed relationships as a sort of partnership - a 'dynamic duo' - the two warriors against the world. That type of relationship is not easy to find - and it's very easy to destroy before it has properly matured. The hardest part about it is that it requires both trust and faith.

You must trust the other person's honesty and have faith in their integrity. This doesn't mean 'cheating' so much as being dedicated to the relationship.

There's an old saying: "Marriage is 100/100 - Divorce is 50/50." It is, to a large degree, true. Of course - a boyfriend/girlfriend isn't quite the same as a marriage... particularly when both are still in school and living different lives.

If you want my "relationship counseling advice" - for what it's worth:

You two need to re-connect with each other. Try to think of a place where both of you will feel relatively comfortable and then invite her to meet with you for a while. There are two things you should talk about:

What made you want each other as a part of each others' lives.

Why you want to be together in the future.

Try to not focus on the issues of the present. While it sounds cheesy - those will naturally work out, and become easier to work through, if you can focus on where you want to be rather than where you do not want to be.

Be mindful of getting lost in the past - or of comparing the past to the present. You need to connect what you saw 'back then' to what you can see 'some day.' Then manage your present to align with the path that will lead you there.

If that 'visualization' helps, at all.

Also, it doesn't hurt to, within that context, ask her what it is she wants you to be; or ask if she would be willing to be/do certain things for you.

Now, by that - I mean ask. "Would you be willing to -"

"You never -" is NOT asking. While I'm sure you understand this, now - it's very tempting when things get emotional to voice "I would really like it if you would" as "Why can't you ever?" Which is, through a calm and collected perspective, obviously going to cause problems...

While this sounds trivial - I came to the realization, a while back, that a girl I care about and I have been having some silly disagreements over things - and I've failed to properly ask. When I feel like she's being inconsiderate and ignoring me - I realize that I've never really asked: "Hey, can we set up a regular time to try and make 'our time?'" - those times where we are both able to talk for any extended amount of time are rare, and I really look forward to them and I am willing to arrange my schedule to make them happen.

Getting upset over it is just silly because I've just expected her to prioritize the exact same things I do. She has a somewhat different perspective on things, currently, and isn't necessarily meaning to be inconsiderate.

Of course - she could always tell me "no" - in which case I will be a sad puppy for a while.

That might also help you two, in a sense. For two people who are trying to 'catch' each other in two different schedules that are frequently changing - I think one of the most important statements you could make to each other is to set aside "time for two."

That's either a regular time for you two to call each other with as few distractions as possible - a time to face-whatever on the computer - maybe you log into an MMO together - or maybe you visit in the park. Either way - this is a sort of "sacred" time that you two set aside for each other to spend time together.

Perhaps I'm reading into your situation, my own - but without this 'designated time,' it's a free-for-all of microwave-mentality texting. Punch in the text and wait anxiously for a response to get right this minute .... what is he/she doing? ... Can't she/he see that you need them? How hard is it to text back when it's obvious that I'm needing attention, here?

It's trying to communicate very important things with a person who you feel is a part of your life... who suddenly feels like they aren't a part of your life when you have placed them as a priority. It's a game of emotional-crisis-tag that is moving on both ends of the scale that makes connections erratic and distorted.

That is what the 'time for two' is. That is when you enjoy each others' company, discuss important things, etc. It gives you time to think on important issues and a sort of assurance that you can some kind of prompt feedback - you know that it was heard and understood, even if there is no obvious solution.

To work as a team, you have to start meeting as a team. You can't just keep running your own course in life and only work together when you happen to bump into each other.

If I were you, following my own advice (and hopefully it is as wise as I could only pray it would be) - I would do as I said, before - talking about the 'spark' in the past and the vision of the future, but also suggest that you two do something like that regularly - just meet up, or agree to call each other at a certain time each day - or every other day, or however you two can work out. Just ask that it be just for the two of you with as few distractions as possible, and promise to do the same for her.

Don't make it about a date. Try to make it somewhat separate from romance (I'm not saying don't be romantic - but just be careful not to turn it into 'time to make out' or 'time for ***' - or wherever you two are in terms of a physical relationship). It's a practical time to be together as two people working through life together, first. If that leads to a passionate encounter - then that's fine... but setting the context that it is about romance/*** can get in the way when difficulties arise in the future and interrupt that practical teamwork aspect.

Of course, there again, I can't claim to be some stunning success in the world of relationships. I just know how I've failed, how I've seen others fail, and the differences I've noted with my few areas of success and the success of others.

But... I've also seen guys who just have *** with girls until one of them decides to hang around... and that works just fine for them... so *shrug* perhaps us overly romantic idealists just like to make things far more complicated than they need to be.

Or perhaps we just have different priorities. *shrug*.

 

[KingOfRaves]

An idea to make Narutobase some money.

Start up a dating website called datingbase or nerdbase.

From there these guys who complain about losing their gf, they can find another one easily on those sites.

To the OP. Move on. TLDR.

 

[FunkyFatal]

I understand what you going through. For some reason lot's of women throw away a man who would move the very stars for them, that's the worst sort of women and there are still women like that today. I don't know why people do this but its the truth. They throw away men who work so hard for them and love them unconditionally and run off with men who will obviously treat them like shit. U_U (forgive me for the profanity lol)

~ I read all parts to your situation and I say move on if she doesn't know what love is when she see's it. Don't close your heart to love, just give it another try with another girl. It may take time but don't let one person who threw away your love and put it to vain ruin your whole life. Deep down in the heart every girl wants a guy that truly pours their heart unto them, and loves them unconditionally no matter what. You'll find that girl one day because they still exist, you just might be looking in the wrong places.

~ No matter how consumed this world becomes by darkness, light will always find a way and will never stop shining. Those who are good sometimes are hard to find when all there is around them is darkness. However, darkness is nowhere near as powerful as light. A MASSIVE amount of darkness will be overcome by even the smallest amount of light, whereas a tiny amount of darkness could NEVER dispel a huge amount of light. You'll find the one for you if she isn't...just keep looking and don't give up. The emotion that can break your heart is sometimes the very one that heals it...

"Don't cry when the sun is gone, because the tears won't let you see the stars" ~Violeta Para

^To me that means that your own grief will cause you miss those that truly shine like the stars; those who seek the same love that you have to offer. <3

 

[Raxido]

She was his sea.

This right here hit me real hard! oh mann >.<