Need Help, please

merule27

Member
Joined
Mar 28, 2013
Messages
370
Kin
0💸
Kumi
0💴
Trait Points
0⚔️
Warning: Really long. Actually it doesn't look that long now. Idk.

People are fundamentally the same. At our core, we want to validate our existence, to have and fulfill a certain purpose, and to have our existence acknowledged by others. Loneliness, the feeling that your existence means nothing, that you aren’t ‘necessary’ in anyone else’s life, is the worst pain there is.


Many people who have the basis of their existence shaken will simply give up. They will blame the world for their problems, try to escape from reality, and end up wallowing in their own sorrow and self-hatred.


This is an extremely difficult mindset to overcome, as it will always be easier to blame others and numb your pain by hiding from reality than it will be to acknowledge your shortcomings and face your problems.


It is also something that you have to do on your own. You can’t look to someone else for answers. You have to find value in your own existence, to find out what you want your purpose to be. Otherwise you’ll probably end up hating yourself forever. You shouldn’t expect other people to require your presence if you yourself can’t find a reason to exist.


This is probably pretty depressing to read, and I can say from experience that getting through to a depressed person with just words is nigh impossible. People tend to want to believe that their plight is unique, that no one else could possibly understand their pain.

Though it may seem cruel, pain is an unavoidable part of life, and those who take it in stride are able to move forward and sustain their existence, while the people who let it keep them down end up in a world of denial and regret.


There is more I can say on this topic, particularly about what I discussed in the 3rd/4th paragraph, but idk. It’s difficult to articulate. And I think that I did a good job this time.




TL;DR: Don’t hate yourself. Find value/purpose in/for your existence. I think this is one of my better ones though. Worth reading.
I gotta say that is very helpful, thank you Mari
 
  • Like
Reactions: Tennis Robot

merule27

Member
Joined
Mar 28, 2013
Messages
370
Kin
0💸
Kumi
0💴
Trait Points
0⚔️
At least you were able to date the person you liked. The girl I like is currently unavaible. And the "currently" is optimism.

But as for your situation, you must have that best buddy(a male friend, usually) that will support you and help you while you're going through this. Try talking to him. And as for the girl, well, that's life. You can't just sit and cry in a corner. You gotta stand up, man up, and try to get her back(not by force, romantically, of course). But if that doesn't work, and there's no way you're getting back together... then move on.

It's not easy. You'll still think about her. You'll miss her. Maybe for days, maybe for months, maybe for over an year. But you can't let the pain stop you. Be stronger than it. I know it's hard AF though.

And at least you're still friends. Perhaps you can still talk to her and have fun with her in other ways. I know this is not as nearly the same as having her as your GF, though. But at least it didn't end the worst way possible.
This is probably the most helpful thing i've read and thank you so much. But sadly I do not have that one guy friend. He's off doing his own stuff with his girlfriend
 

Namikaze1126

Member
Joined
Aug 15, 2014
Messages
127
Kin
0💸
Kumi
0💴
Trait Points
0⚔️
Maybe if you want to move on, you should take one step at a time. Say, you start by putting all the remnants of your ex away, do things that will keep you busy, indulge yourself to things that will make you happy, meet new people and enjoy their company.. don't let yourself suffer because of heart break.. there are lots and lots of people you deserve out there.. maybe at this moment, you just need to accept the fact that things don't go the way we want, atleast ..breakups hurt, but losing someone who doesn't respect and appreciate you after all the things you've done for her is actually a gain, not a loss.. i'm not saying you should forget that girl, after all, she was once a girl whom you've created undying memories with.. it just means you have to accept what happened and continue living.. cheer up , everything's gonna be okay :)
 

Wolfus

Active member
Veteran
Joined
Mar 29, 2013
Messages
4,855
Kin
0💸
Kumi
0💴
Trait Points
0⚔️
This is probably the most helpful thing i've read and thank you so much. But sadly I do not have that one guy friend. He's off doing his own stuff with his girlfriend
Well, then I'm glad I could help.
Even if he's busy, I'm pretty sure your friend will support you. Just talk to him. It can be on the internet as well.
 

Wolfus

Active member
Veteran
Joined
Mar 29, 2013
Messages
4,855
Kin
0💸
Kumi
0💴
Trait Points
0⚔️
I just got 3 songs I could listen to for this precise situation. I'm not in love by 10CC, I want you back by Jackson 5, and O-O-H Child
DO NOT listen to the sad songs. It's a trap. It hits you right in the feels. With a bazooka. Go listen to rock. Personal experience.
 
Top