Breaking news: Hello Kitty is not a cat.

Edenia

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Your childhood has been torn asunder by the Gods that once gifted you. In preparing a Hello Kitty retrospective for the Japanese American National Museum, University of Hawaii Anthropologist Christine R. Yano was given one major correction by Hello Kitty owners Sanrio (via LA Times):

"Hello Kitty is not a cat. She's a cartoon character. She is a little girl. She is a friend. But she is not a cat. She's never depicted on all fours. She walks and sits like a two-legged creature. She does have a pet cat of her own, however, and it's called Charmmy Kitty."
Indeed, after rigorously applying a variation of the "Duck test," it all became clear: she only kind of looks like a cat, she doesn't walk like a cat, and she doesn't talk like a cat (although I can't recall her ever making a noise). She's also, according to Yano, British. Huh.

Fear not, though! We did the research, and Keroppi is still a frog.


I can't even fathom life right now.
... and she's a scorpion...
 
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