[Discussion] [Relationship] Checking out another whilst with your partner

[GreenTeaChloe]

It is known by many that men tend to have wondering eyes regardless if they are in a relationship or not.

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In any relationship there is bound to be a sense of possessiveness. It's natural for a person to become jealous when a situation like this arises. However why do men do It? And is it okay for women to do the same?

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Why do men check out an attractive person as if he has no control over It? It's human nature.

Men are more visual then women are. They have been the hunters ever since humans came into existence. They were expected to hunt for a living and their primary weapon was his vision. The brain of a man is stimulated by images much more than that of a woman. If there is anything visually attractive within his vision, he will look.

Now is it okay for women to check out other men?

Surprisingly a lot of men said: "no". Why is that? Are men more possessive then females? Do they feel insecure that their partner is looking at another man?

One answer was that women are more emotional then men and when they have a wondering eye, unlike a man a womans visualization is more emotional based rather then visual.

What do you do or how do you feel when you catch your partner checking out somebody else?

Are you okay with it?
Do you get annoyed?
Or do you even join in?

 

[Ōkami]

If you're scouting a member for a possible threesome then it's alright.

 

[Yuse]

if that happens means the two were not meant to be

 

[Pirate King]

I personally don't care if my girl checks someone out, I do it all the time

 

[Joon]

If you're scouting a member for a possible threesome then it's alright.

LMAO

It's perfectly fine, but do not go extra which can ruin a relationship.

 

[GreenTeaChloe]

if that happens means the two were not meant to be

That's an interesting answer. Are you telling us that if you or your partner looks at another person, because they look attractive you would second guess your relationship and end it?

 

[SayWhat21]

i really don't care if she stares at another guy

 

[Joker]

If you're scouting a member for a possible threesome then it's alright.

I prefer foursomes. Or, a human centipede.
OT: This

 

[Worm]

if that happens means the two were not meant to be

*facepalm*

Yeah we all check out attractive people regardless, it's in our nature.

The trick is sunglasses xD but seriously, guys and girls you shouldn't blow such things out of proportion, it's all natural to get a wee bit jealous of these actions but it's something we all do. U_U

 

[Bling Kai]

I don't have a girlfriend and never will, but if I did I wouldn't care in any way who she
Looks at.

 

[Nikes]

It's not bad to check out other people just don't let your girl see you do it.

 

[Erza Scarlet]

If I caught my Girlfriend or Boyfriend looking at another, I wouldn't be bothered. I don't see any reason to be, since they're with you and not with them, it clearly means that they want to be with you and not them. Before the couple even got together, they both would have seen many people and found them attractive and good looking, and just because you're now partners it doesn't turn everyone else ugly, so of course they're going to find others still attractive, but that doesn't mean they are going to ditch you for someone else.

 

[Kaneki Kun]

Doesn't really bother me. As long that it's just looking and then done we straight.

 

[Wolfus]

If only I had a partner...

But well, I once dated a girl(b*tch) for a couple of months. She once argued with me because I looked to her friend. Here's the thing. She is my f*cking neighbor(the girl, not her friend). She lived right across the street. And her friend simply happened to be in front of her gate. I was leaving my house. I had to turn arround eventually. It was natural for me to look to whatever was in front of me. Specially if there's a girl sit on the sidewalk.

Take my experience as exemple of how some girls can overreact.

Oh, and just to finish the story. She eventually broke up with me because she was "divided", she was thinking about another guy.

Impressive, right?

 

[GreenTeaChloe]

It's not bad to check out other people just don't let your girl see you do it.

If it's not bad, why do you have to hide it? If your partner catches you looking at other women, don't deny it. Just admit it. Women do the same thing and if she denies that... well that's hilarious.

Don't be afraid. Don't lie about the obvious it just diminishes their trust in you.

 

[xPHARAOHx]

It's in our genetic makeup. Man use to spread there seed with as many women as possible to produce the best off-spring. It's only natural that a man sees a women with wide hips, and even without realizing it it's in there DNA to know she's made to bear children. It instinct.

 

[Disquiet]

Welcome back, Chloe.

Here's a quote of mine from another thread:

Love between two individuals shouldn't revolve around mankind's ideal: the imprisonment of two souls, rather than a unison. A lot of us live our lives hiding things, from friends and family, lest we face judgement or mockery from them. We can't really be ourselves in their presence, there are things about us they may never witness. We only get one life, no need to form a bond that is a contract in disguise. No need to live your only life signed to a contract. Love shouldn't be a business deal, discussing who gets to do what, the do's and don'ts. Don't we get enough of that in life?


Furthermore, love will always be in danger between two individuals with this ideal of love. We are indirectly admitting that the relationship is in danger as long as the two should live. If one rule is broken or even just suspected of being of broken, many years of love is doubted in a second. With a 'bond' like this, we give power to outside forces to destroy that love, and a lot of us know how ridiculous jealous people can be. Though it just doesn't end with jealous people, materialistic things alone also poses a potential threat. And to make it even worse, in the wrong hands, those materialistic things spells doom. Also, a lot of us have within us the desire to feel free, and may succumb to this in due time. The love that most preaches is a fragile one, capable of being blown down by a huff and a puff. However, if one soul desires to be with another solely because they desire to, meaning no force or rules from the other individual, then that person's happiness naturally depends upon the well-being of the other individual. If the feelings are mutual, then they will only seek to bring out the best in each other, and not take away that person's freedom. And there's no other that can do this like you can, yes you're going to say this may cause problems if another thinks and feels the same about love as she does, but you're missing a key aspect; the uniqueness that is within us. If that person falls in love with you, I mean real love, then it will be your soul that is unlike any others that they seek to manifest. Love can be a scary thing, and quite intimidating, that is why it takes courage. Don't underestimate your uniqueness, and its appeal on people. Go in hard, with everything you got if you truly love the person.


Men and women whom was fortunate enough to be born before us taught us what love is. There comes a time in our lives when we have to use our gifts, get more in tune with our brains and think for ourselves.


Also, another thing to note is that most that preach love, preaches the fallacy that all is perfect. Everyone makes mistakes, go beyond them, become a force to be reckoned with, build each other up and tear down others with their own hate. As someone once said, there are many mediocre things in life, love shouldn't be one of them.


-End of Quote-


Note than I probably come off as more assertive and adamant in that quote than I actually am at this moment (I would probably rephrase some things as well). I guess love can be defined in so many ways, not to mention I still have a lot to learn.

As for my opinion on this particular question, I would't mind, I don't think. Sometimes I wonder if I'm the kind of person that could handle a polyamorous relationship (I often feel that I am), but a monogamous relationship feels more "right", which I'm sure is due to societal pressures, but I do indeed lean more toward a monogamous relationship.

 

[Sage Moonblood]

It's not about whether you do it or not because let's face it everyone does it in many different ways, shapes, or forms. Some are just more noticeable than others and some are more subtle with how they check someone out. So the real question is HOW do you check someone out? Me personally I don't care if my girl does it but she has to do it on her own time. If we are on the middle of a date and you just drop everything just to check a guy out then yes I am going to get mad and question my relationship. Not because she checked him out but because she had no respect for me. Have some decency when you do it.

 

[scorezor]

checking is one thing , being with an whole another person ... doing something that you shouldn't do ... it's an whole another thing ^^ we can't deny our feelings ^^

 

[WithDemonsToLeanOn]

I'll check out girls no matter what. I'm aloud to appreciate beauty. I'm not going to do it though with my girlfriend around. I'm going to be too damn busy staring at her. And I'd expect the same from her. Hell even if we're together, maybe we could have fun and check out people together. You know, just have fun and not taking things so damn seriously.