I don´t like it. However, let me give you several suggestions:
- try to think of an original story, this is way too similar to Naruto. Try to go through different wikipedia articles and read whatever you can, read numerous mangas (One Piece, if you want adventure), manhwas (Tower of God, if you want something different and special) and books (I would say fantasy genre is notably great for your imagination). Your story has to be unique and different, if possible.
- this goes as well to the settings of your story (the setting of a story is the time, place and social and religious environment). Personally, I love stories in different worlds, such as Tower of God. This relates to story closely, but be careful, if you create a world, it takes a lot of work to make it consistent.
- improve your drawings. Give them more time, learn how to shade, maybe visit a drawing course. This is important as well, seeing the quality of your work.
- improve your English. For starters... it´s killing me. I am not saying it should be flawless, but never write "cuz" to a japanian mythological beast. Some characters may speak like it, but you have to be especially careful. You can also find a guy for that, but your story must be still interesting.
- your characters must have motives, background and personality, you simply cannot make them flat. Imagine them as your friends, or as yourself. Think about a backstory for them, what molded their character, why they act like heroes or villains.
- one of the hardest things: consistence. When you write longer, you tend to upgrade things, make them stronger and more flashier. Fine, but don´t make it like in Naruto, please. Former things have to remain in the back of your head and you have to think about them when making another chapters.
- as Dragonor mentioned, your first chapter is your everything. You will be judged by that, people will decide whether to read your work or not based on this very chapter. Darn, do it again... and make it godly.
That being said, at least you started! Scratch your previous work and get really to it.
