1. God is not a giant ball of love floating in the cosmos like a hippie fantasy bringing happy feelings to everyone.
2. God is not a mean disciplinarian teacher thinking up clever ways to test people to prove their dedication in the face of confusion.
3. God is not a leprechaun sitting on one’s shoulder offering advice on WWJD tedium in life. God doesn’t promise a pot of gold.
4. God is not limited, finite, or confined.
5. God is not an anthropomorphic character living in the sky, bringing storms or fertility.
6. God is not a gangster like Vanilla Ice saying “If there is a problem, yo, I’ll solve it.”
7. God is not an old man with a long beard. God is not a grandpa with a lap in which one sits while eating cookies.
8. God is not a clockmaker who made the universe like winding a clock and then disappeared, almost like he forgot what he made.
9. God is not the master of chaos, creating chaos and destruction to punish and then save.
10. God does not change.
11. God has no parts.
12. God is not extended into space, taking up some space but not other space.
13. God is not an individuated human soul.
14. God is not a judge, sitting with a wig and a robe delivering verdicts about petty things and enforcing punishments.
15. God is not a police officer, randomly pulling people over and delivering tickets.
16. God is not the NSA, spying and logging every little thing people do in a little book of secrets with which to one day persecute people.
17. God is not a troll, lurking under a bridge playing mind games and eventually letting people pass.
18. God has no gender.
19. God has no race.
20. God is not limited only to the parts of creation that practice a certain religion.
21. God is not a zookeeper. Humans are not God’s pets.
22. God is not a baker cooking little people to feed God’s needs.
23. God is not a psychopath who delights in the torture of God’s creation.
24. God is not a physician who diagnoses and treats people just because they pray.
25. God is not a puzzle that can be slowly assembled so that the picture becomes clear.
26. God is not Santa Claus, keeping a list of who is naughty and nice and delivering presents or coal.
27. God is not some scientific artifact that can be studied and eventually mastered or fully understood.
28. God is not a star or planet in the sky.
29. God is not an element like fire, water, air, or earth.
30. God is not a magician whose whim and personal power is displayed to convince or control.
31. God is not a spoiled, wealthy, inbred king or pompous president, partying or golfing while the citizens suffer in poverty and injustice.
32. God is not an unjust tyrant in love with power and control.
33. God is never described adequately by words.
34. God is not a monster preying upon people.
35. God is not a warmonger conquering people, plundering and taking the things they value and love.
36. God is not a slave master making people work only for God’s benefit.
37. God is not a circus master training people to do tricks for God’s pleasure.
38. God is not an auctioneer, bargaining and haggling.
39. God is not trendy, changing with fads every six months to stay in style.
40. God is not elitist, playing favorites or games.
-By Mary Alicia Owen
