Meh, might as well give some real CnC since you're getting better at this stuff. I'll help you with some flow on the second tag because that one's just all around better.
Reference image.
You must be registered for see images
So, here's your flow as of right now.
You must be registered for see images
The red is indicating your primary sources of flow because of the C4D effects you put there, while the blue is representing your secondary flow that you had since you placed the green and white there. Your secondary flow isn't something that's caught by first glance at the sig, that's what the primary (red) flow did for you.
Notice the flow the render gives off
You must be registered for see images
Compare the flow of the render to the flow you gave off in your tag. Very different, eh? almost opposites in terms of primary flow, but your secondary flow is spot on. That's why when someone looks at your tag, they'll say it's messy. Because that first primary flow contradicts the render completely, but your secondary flow did yourself a few favours to the experienced GFXers or anyone who looks at the tag for more than ~30 seconds.
What do I do to improve my flow in tags? In every single tag, I find the render before even opening photoshop. After finding a render I like, I look for that primary and possibly secondary flow that I'm going to be using for my tag.
Work your tag around the flow of the render. That's how you get good flow 100% of the time, before finalizing anything you're going to add, one of the (many) questions you should ask yourself is "will this add to or take away from my flow?" and evaluate accordingly.
Notes for flow
There won't
always be secondary flow, that's fine.
Make sure one aspect of flow isn't taking up too much room, because you don't want that bit of flow take away from the focal if it's too large. Instead, use multiple smaller indications of flow so it doesn't take away from the focal while at the same time giving the tag more atmosphere, depth, and more defined flow (because these smaller bits of flow are dispersed throughout the tag, it's easier to identify the flow of the tag).
Does your render have 2 directions or more of flow it can go in? That's fine. You can have as many directions of flow as you need
as long as it compliments the render. Your render is a good example, it had 2 main flow sources. In this situation, I would have positioned the render properly (probably around where you did in this tag) and use both sources of flow. This way, you have one dominant flow (the one that take up more room, the right side of the tag) and one submissive flow. Both compliment the render equally, it's just that one's more dominant because of the sole reason that it takes up space.
Hope this helps, or something like that.