[Discussion] Death and how you deal with it...

[Deviation]

Hello NB,

Spare me your ears for a second. I hope that somewhere on that sea of you all there are some who can at least share with me. But to begin I shall start...

Well I am no stranger to death. I have met my share of unfortunate events. Both of people I have truly cared about and people I thought I hated but were able to change my mind. It's not easy to lose someone you are really close to or to see someone you care lose someone. I don't know that you have all been through and I can't really say that it will get any better. Sadness is something you can't really control but it is there. Two of my family members whom sit at both sides of the spectrum will inevitably lose their life within the next year or less. It is just a question of time and one can only hope that their last moments are in pain. It is hard to swallow but I wanted to get this off my chest.

Earlier this year my grandmum had a stroke and a cerebral hemorrhage. She had died but was revived thanks to a quick response from the doctors. She had been in a coma for about a month and a half. It was really sad and painful. Not only to see my mom cry but also see the person I used to hate so much essentially on her deathbed. It's rather strange because despite all the pain she caused my mom something changed. I didn't hate her anymore. In fact I felt sad and angry. I don't know but seeing her in a coma and almost dying had a profound effect on me. What if that was me? What if I was near the end of my life? I thought about it for many weeks upon weeks. I then saw the naruto episode of Jiraiya's death. Jiraiya said something that really struck me this time I saw it:

"Even I can tell that hatred is spreading. I wanted to do something about it … but I don't know what … but I believe… that someday the day will come when people truly understand one another!! If I can't find the answer, it will be up to you to do it!!"​

After reading that I felt so bad for wasting my time hating my grandmum. I never actually looked at the great things she did for us because I was always so obscured by my own hatred. I didn't understand until now and now its a little too late. She isn't dead but she is in a sort of vegetative state. She can barely talk and she can't even move. But sometimes when I am alone with her I feel sad and I tell her I am sorry for never hearing her story. I miss the times we would sit and drink coffee and talk about how things were in her time. I just wanted to let you guys know that letting hatred rule you like that is only going to end in regret. You have to appreciate what you have now and not worry so much about what happened or will happen. Those things are out of your control. You should live the now with no regrets and let go of your anger. In most cases, that hatred turns into violence and leads to death. So many people die each year I know...but if you have the opportunity....tell the people you love how much they mean to you and that you love them. I would hate to walk out the door and my last words to my mom would be "I hate you."

Anyways, if you have any people that have died in your life that meant a lot to you, would you mind sharing? I would like to know I am not alone.

 

[Tingun]

I've lost all six of my biological ancestors and a twin sister.

As far as more distant relatives I am lucky to have only lost one cousin.

As these events have each shaped my life in a definite and profound way I am sure now that death is something that can alter a person almost entirely.

In my experience I was forced to except certain principles of life very early on, and acceptance was a stepping stone to all emotional paths in life. Without acceptance the cycle of passing cannot continue.

However, I find this dwindling notion to be weak and conditional, as realization can easily shatter the brief hope of overcoming such a barrier.
In my experience I have also observed that certain parts of death cannot be avoided despite the most deep and intricate searches into philosophy and theology. Some emotions can be set in stone so unfathomably deep that nothing can pry them from the heart. As to these I can only, and have only hoped to better myself through sometimes even digressive dissection of my inner beliefs and perspectives. This often helps me reach a state of acceptance for a time, but beyond that I often fall prey to various states of negative emotions.

This is not to imply that death is something that is completely detrimental to ones livelihood, as circumstances and various a wide spread, though in many cases death can bring much more to pain than the loss of life itself.

 

[Penguin]

Too be honest, no one really close too me has died before. My great grandma lived in Idaho, and I in Missouri. Several hundred miles away and no connection. She died 2 years ago but really did not know her all too well, but unfortunately I could not make the funeral as it was in Idaho.

My uncle whom I was close too died when I was very little. I think I was 6 or 7 [17 now] and my uncle and my Dad left to go hunt some deer on our hunting property. My uncle was an alcoholic and a drug abuser, but I never knew as a kid. I just thought he had cool cans and can holders. But anyway, my dad came home all alone that day, and he cried his heart out. My uncle had cardiac arrest 20 feet in the air on a deer stand, and fell off the stand, plummeting to his death. That is the only sadness I have felt about losing someone. I had no regrets as he knew I loved him.

But stuff will get better bro. Things always get bad before getting better. It is like a roller coaster. I am always here if you need too talk.

 

[Darth Vader]

I lost my father to suicide when I was 11 years old. PM me later and I'll go into detail about my experience, I don't feel like putting it out for ignorant people to see.

 

[cigi]

I have no regrets. Also, i've lost my grandma a few years ago and well i saw my family cry but i was the only one that wasn't crying idk y? I didnt hate my grandma i loved her.

 

[DeathandHealing]

I just don't look at it like a negative.

Life and death are hand in hand. ( my screen name is a song by wintersun )
Why be sad when a loved grandfather dies? They lived a long and wonderful life, had a family, supported and loved
them. if anything that is a success. so when death comes it shouldn't be a funeral of sadness, more like a gathering of all
the people that grandfather had an impact on. There should be laughter and smiles because that person not only did something great but brought and connected that many people together. It's like reading a great story and reaching the end. The story is over and ended great, why be sad? it's an experience you can always carry.

 

[Fodder#5]

Grandmother, Great grandparents, Grandfather, Cousin, friend. Its tough. I don't generally handle stuff like that well. I haven't cried for almost 10 years. I know that isn't good but whatever. Everyone copes differently

 

[Penguin]

I deal with it with edo tensei

In case you didn't know, this is a serious and touchy subject. Not only is this inappropriate, but it is also impossible. People are trying to tell their story, but ignorant people like you ruin it.

 

[The Big Boss]

i am god, and i cant die.

but sorry for your loss.


if someone has a beef with a person, and that person dies, most of the time the beef is forgiven. ( unless rape or murder)

 

[Mangekyō1]

A good buddy of mine, Adrian, died a few years ago. We were drinking, and he went into town to get more alcohol, and ended up hitting the ice on the lake and breaking through it, which led to him drowning.

I was a wreck for about a month, then one night, he was in my dreams. I talked with him throughout the whole dream, and it felt like it was actually him. And I still have these dreams, and it still feels like it is him! He still lives on through our dreams, I'm not the only one that dreams of him often. Does that sound weird?

 

[cigi]

Grandmother, Great grandparents, Grandfather, Cousin, friend. Its tough. I don't generally handle stuff like that well. I haven't cried for almost 10 years. I know that isn't good but whatever. Everyone copes differently

Same here its been years since I have cried.

 

[Penguin]

A good buddy of mine, Adrian, died a few years ago. We were drinking, and he went into town to get more alcohol, and ended up hitting the ice on the lake and breaking through it, which led to him drowning.

I was a wreck for about a month, then one night, he was in my dreams. I talked with him throughout the whole dream, and it felt like it was actually him. And I still have these dreams, and it still feels like it is him! He still lives on through our dreams, I'm not the only one that dreams of him often. Does that sound weird?

I wish I had dreams that had value to them. My dreams are iffy. The mind works in mysterious ways. Lol

 

[Mangekyō1]

I wish I had dreams that had value to them. My dreams are iffy. The mind works in mysterious ways. Lol

I think I dream of him often because I have a picture of him and myself right next to my bed. That picture is the last object I see before I sleep.

 

[Tingun]

Does that sound weird?

Seeing what process creates dreams, not really.

 

[Normal fanboy]

My grandpa died of cancer last 11/27/12 :/

 

[Darthlawsuit]

When you are born you have a countdown timer to your death. Everyone that has ever lived has died. Regardless of what happens to us time will move on as if nothing ever occurred. No use worrying about death as it is a fact not a question.

 

[Tingun]

Grandmother, Great grandparents, Grandfather, Cousin, friend. Its tough. I don't generally handle stuff like that well. I haven't cried for almost 10 years. I know that isn't good but whatever. Everyone copes differently

You knew your great grandparents?

 

[The Big Boss]

When you are born you have a countdown timer to your death. Everyone that has ever lived has died. Regardless of what happens to us time will move on as if nothing ever occurred. No use worrying about death as it is a fact not a question.

inb4 death note

 

[Cornson]

Mine don't really count, I guess, but i'll share it anyway...

I meet a dude over the internet, and we instantly hit of off right away, in a matter of hours we wore talking to each other like if we had grown up together, we litterly became friends overnight (or well in this case over afternoon, but what ever) we then enjoyed taking and playing video games for around 3 weeks with nothing shy but an insane amount of fun, and then on a random sunday he had to leave for work (he was some sort of IT dude for a company, so he could get called in at totally ransom hours) so he drove to work to fix "what ever" and I never herd from him again, he died on the way to work in a car crash, just like that it was over, and he was only 23... (I found out the next day that he had died) it was really sureal, here I was struck by grief because of a person I had not even known for a month had died, I tryed to talk to my parents about it, but they really didn't understand it, well maybe my mom did (well she atleast tryed to) but it was obvious my dad didn't.

What I learned from this experince is that death can come in any moment, it might be tomorrow or in 50 years, so make sure that you have told the people you love how you feal, because tomorrow might be to late.

 

[Ōkami]

Lost two friends in a span of five days.

I suppose I kept wishing it was just a dream.

But after a while you have to realize it and accept it.

Then just move on and stay beautiful.