How to turn down a guy >____>

[Punk Hazard]

Oh? Would you rather her call him a jerkoff and the like? Have you considered that he might actually be a nice guy? It's not being fed lines, it's her simply calling it as she sees it. Of course, if he isn't, then she wouldn't use that. But since I do not know him personally, I am going to assume, until she tells me otherwise, that he is nice. U_U

No. Listen, I can't speak for all guys, but when a majority of guys hear "You're a nice guy but...", we dislike it. The fact is, you don't know this guy. For all you know, he's an ass hole who paints puppies green and drowns butterflies. But, despite this, you told OP to tell him he's nice. That's feeding lines.

Guys, obviously, have differences from girls. Some girls tend to tolerate rejection more with a form of flattery(Before you chew me out for generalizing, I'm not, I said some girls and hey, you, a girl, suggested it it to another girl and assumed she would be ok with it and you saw it as an acceptable thing to say. Put 2 and 2 and 2 together.), like "It's not you it's me" or "You're awesome but...". To a guy, it's nothing more than spewing off bullshit. Being rejected is bad enough, there's no need to add that kind of stuff because it's insulting to us.

 

[Craziie]

"Pardon if this may seem rude, but I really am getting uncomfortable with these recent displays of affection I'm getting from you. Invasion of my personal space is something I'm not accustomed to even at home, and <insert his name> I would really appreciate it if you would refrain from doing all of these stuff.

You're a great guy, you amuse me, but I can't seem to see you in a romantic light. I'm sorry."

Or something along those lines. ( ._.) Better done in private, be calm and honest, and no false reassurance to appease and buffer the rejection. There's no easy way of rejecting someone, but the least you could give him is an honest answer.

This is a pretty good example, and I will most likely make it my own.
How about this
"Hey, can we talk?....I just wanted to talk about this whole thing that you got going on with me. The hugging and other gestures make me fairly uncomfortable and I am not use to these kind of gestures of affection, so could you please refrain from doing that? I know you like me in a romantic way, but I don't feel the same. You're a nice guy and I really appreciate you liking me and all but I can't return this because I don't feel the same. I don't want you to be upset or anything because we can become good friends."

I dunno...maybe I should change some things .

No. Listen, I can't speak for all guys, but when a majority of guys hear "You're a nice guy but...", we dislike it. The fact is, you don't know this guy. For all you know, he's an ass hole who paints puppies green and drowns butterflies. But, despite this, you told OP to tell him he's nice. That's feeding lines.

Guys, obviously, have differences from girls. Some girls tend to tolerate rejection more with a form of flattery(Before you chew me out for generalizing, I'm not, I said some girls and hey, you, a girl, suggested it it to another girl and assumed she would be ok with it and you saw it as an acceptable thing to say. Put 2 and 2 and 2 together.), like "It's not you it's me" or "You're awesome but...". To a guy, it's nothing more than spewing off bullshit. Being rejected is bad enough, there's no need to add that kind of stuff because it's insulting to us.

Can you read my rejection practice( I feel like an ass saying that)?
Maybe I should take off the last line?
Is that insulting to?!!!

What she said. Hits the nail, better to do it away from a crowd so you don't draw attention.

Ofcourse. I don't want it all public. I think it may be a awkward scenery for the both of us.

 

[Erin]

The stupidity on this thread...

 

[Craziie]

The stupidity on this thread...

You seem to be the main source.
XD.
Just kidding...I had to say that line. Sorry

 

[Craziie]

The stupidity on this thread...

You seem to be the main source.
XD.
Just kidding...I had to say that line. Sorry

 

[Punk Hazard]

This is a pretty good example, and I will most likely make it my own.
How about this
"Hey, can we talk?....I just wanted to talk about this whole thing that you got going on with me. The hugging and other gestures make me fairly uncomfortable and I am not use to these kind of gestures of affection, so could you please refrain from doing that? I know you like me in a romantic way, but I don't feel the same. You're a nice guy and I really appreciate you liking me and all but I can't return this because I don't feel the same. I don't want you to be upset or anything because we can become good friends."

I dunno...maybe I should change some things .



Can you read my rejection practice( I feel like an ass saying that)?
Maybe I should take off the last line?
Is that insulting to?!!!



Ofcourse. I don't want it all public. I think it may be a awkward scenery for the both of us.

It's mostly fine. Take out the "You're a nice guy part". The very fact that you're explaining it to him and not saying stuff like "Oh my God, leave me the f*ck alone! Daaamn!" is more than enough to show that you don't mean disrespect.

 

[ShiningStar]

Her calling him a nice guy is equal to, if not worse than what you said. You say that to the guy, and he will feel even shittier than if you called him a jerk off. It'll just add to the stereotype that girls turn down nice guys in favor of less well mannered guys (jerks in essence).

If he is not nice, she will tell him otherwise. That was just a basic statement to let him know that she has no hard feelings or bad intentions with telling him this. She can also start with, "I do not dislike you ..." or "You're pretty 'insert descriptive adjective here' ..." It is not definite.

No. Listen, I can't speak for all guys, but when a majority of guys hear "You're a nice guy but...", we dislike it. The fact is, you don't know this guy. For all you know, he's an ass hole who paints puppies green and drowns butterflies. But, despite this, you told OP to tell him he's nice. That's feeding lines.

I'm just going to leave this here:

It's not being fed lines, it's her simply calling it as she sees it. Of course, if he isn't, then she wouldn't use that. But since I do not know him personally, I am going to assume, until she tells me otherwise, that he is nice.

Guys, obviously, have differences from girls. Some girls tend to tolerate rejection more with a form of flattery(Before you chew me out for generalizing, I'm not, I said some girls and hey, you, a girl, suggested it it to another girl and assumed she would be ok with it and you saw it as an acceptable thing to say. Put 2 and 2 and 2 together.), like "It's not you it's me" or "You're awesome but...". To a guy, it's nothing more than spewing off bullshit. Being rejected is bad enough, there's no need to add that kind of stuff because it's insulting to us.

But if she is being honest, then I see nothing wrong with that. I'm simply telling her to tell the truth about him in a way that will not make him feel bad. I want her to be completely honest with him. To me, it's better than lying to him and making things worse or being necessarily rude simply because she is not interested. She is not the type to want to end his crush on bad terms so that is more of a precautionary measure to preserve their friendship, but also letting him know how she feels.

 

[Cursed Prince]

Just tell hem you have viruses. Thats instant boy deterrent U_U

 

[Punk Hazard]

If he is not nice, she will tell him otherwise. That was just a basic statement to let him know that she has no hard feelings or bad intentions with telling him this. She can also start with, "I do not dislike you ..." or "You're pretty 'insert descriptive adjective here' ..." It is not definite.



I'm just going to leave this here:


But if she is being honest, then I see nothing wrong with that. I'm simply telling her to tell the truth about him in a way that will not make him feel bad. I want her to be completely honest with him. To me, it's better than lying to him and making things worse or being necessarily rude simply because she is not interested. She is not the type to want to end his crush on bad terms so that is more of a precautionary measure to preserve their friendship, but also letting him know how she feels.

You're missing the point. You're not looking at it from the guy's perspective. She may be speaking honestly. But, he doesn't know that. He's being rejected, that will leave him vulnerable, vulnerability creates doubts, doubts opens up his mind to the possiblity that she's bullshitting him, and these kind of lines are usually bullshit. That makes him feel not only the insult that comes with rejection, but he can feel insulted because he think she's bullshitting.

 

[Craziie]

Thanks for the help guys!!! I gotta go!
Ill take all the good advice and use it. I just hope he doesn't be one of those guys, who make a whole scene or anything. It scares on what his response might be but..anyways. Thanks for the advice!

 

[Rigel]

This is a pretty good example, and I will most likely make it my own.
How about this
"Hey, can we talk?....I just wanted to talk about this whole thing that you got going on with me. The hugging and other gestures make me fairly uncomfortable and I am not use to these kind of gestures of affection, so could you please refrain from doing that? I know you like me in a romantic way, but I don't feel the same. You're a nice guy and I really appreciate you liking me and all but I can't return this because I don't feel the same. I don't want you to be upset or anything because we can become good friends."

I dunno...maybe I should change some things .

That part right there in bold, I suggest not to say that.


Never underestimate the fragility of the male ego.

Saying that would make it sound like a buffer, a lazy cop-out blanket excuse, an attempt to downgrade his feelings and softening the blow of the rejection. Rejection will make anyone upset. Pulling out the friend card would only make matters worse.

If he doesn't talk to you after the rejection, respect his silence. Men compartalize stuffs in their brains, so it may take some time for the rejection to sink in.

 

[Erin]

You seem to be the main source.
XD.
Just kidding...I had to say that line. Sorry

Solo'd once again.

You must be registered for see images

Lol

 

[ShiningStar]

You're missing the point. You're not looking at it from the guy's perspective. She may be speaking honestly. But, he doesn't know that. He's being rejected, that will leave him vulnerable, vulnerability creates doubts, doubts opens up his mind to the possiblity that she's bullshitting him, and these kind of lines are usually bullshit. That makes him feel not only the insult that comes with rejection, but he can feel insulted because he think she's bullshitting.

I see what you mean Riker. But honestly that is the only way she can explain it. By being as honest with him as possible. If he chooses not to accept it, that is on him. She can't control his emotions, but that is helpful for her to put it lightly. She doesn't want to be rude to him. But, if he thinks she lying regardless, then there is not much she can go in that regard.

 

[amarusboobs]

Tell that trifling ass nigga to step off..


Or just take the D...


Yep I said it :|


...To be real, just tell him I'm not interested. It would be better to get you point across, even if he does get hurt. If you let him off softly he might think of it the wrong way and keep pushing. Be firm and get your point across. He is invading you bubble. :|


He must be a creepy ass nigga.

 

[Hollow9tailsEye]

"Pardon if this may seem rude, but I really am getting uncomfortable with these recent displays of affection I'm getting from you. Invasion of my personal space is something I'm not accustomed to even at home, and <insert his name> I would really appreciate it if you would refrain from doing all of these stuff.

You're a great guy, you amuse me, but I can't seem to see you in a romantic light. I'm sorry."

Or something along those lines. ( ._.) Better done in private, be calm and honest, and no false reassurance to appease and buffer the rejection. There's no easy way of rejecting someone, but the least you could give him is an honest answer.

I think this is a good way to do it. Another thing you could do is go old school and just write it in a letter and drop it in his locker if you don't feel comfortable enough to do it in person. Anyways hope it all goes well.

 

[Untamed]

Aren't you a guy tho? Unless you're homosexual or you just clicked the wrong gender. But either way, be nice about it.

weak troll ugh

Tell him to **** off. That's what I do. =D

that's right, but not in a demeaning way. Although stalkers do exist, so get rid of him quick.

 

[Stark]

Do what I do, tell the girl or in your case boy, that you're talking to someone right now. Simple, it always works for me when I need to use that.

 

[Blitz3d]

A moment of silence for our brothers in the friendzone.

I second this.

 

[MonCheRena]

Letting him know you're just not interested in a nice way :x3:....then walk away quickly.

 

[Zee Seh]

Its ur fukin life . ur fukin descisions. ur fukin choice .ur fukin personel space.... just tell the guy to fuk off(but be a little gentle) =D