Thane
Anbu Operative 🎭
- Joined
- Apr 13, 2012
- Messages
- 3,025
- Reaction score
- 432
Hello everyone.
Since this week's chapter was exceptionally awful in an arc that has made no sense whatsoever, I decided to write a little bit of satire. It's lengthy and not the funniest I have ever written, but I figured I might as well post it here in case someone needed something lighter after this week's disappointment. Enjoy:
Hashirama: Alright guys, make sure Madara doesn't attack us while we four try and defeat the god of this world. We should be done by lunch.
Fodder 455: Er, sir, can we go home now?
Hashirama: I beg your pardon?
Fodder 455: Well I mean...neither I nor my kinsmen without names can do anything in this situation. Why are we even here?
Hiruzen: I don't understand, son, you're a Ninja! You're supposed to deal with the evils trying to take over the world here!
Fodder 455: Yeah but...there's nothing we redshirts can do! This entire 'war' has been about clones beating up Ninja without names. I think someone named Neji died too, but people got over that really quickly.
Minato: Who the hell is Neji?
Fodder 455: Exactly.
Hiruzen: Some lad with...bayakayagan or something. I don't know, I never really liked him.
Tobirama: I don't mind the fodders leaving, I'm finally getting some screen time!
Fodder 455: Great, so I'll just go home, then. Strange that a 'war' only lasts for a couple of days but hell, what do I know, I'm just 'fodder' even though I, too, trained as much as you guys did when I was a child.
Hashirama: Oh hell no, son, you're staying! You can go and make sure Madara doesn't interrupt us.
Fodder 455: Care to run that by me one more time?
Hashirama: You heard me. Go and attack Madara.
Fodder 455: Are you insane?! Do you know what he did to the five current Kage we have conveniently forgotten all about?
*Meanwhile, a few miles east*
Tsunade: The...pain...
Onoki: Why did we even fight against Madara if it didn't contribute anything to the story?!
A: Gaara...I f*cking hate you.
Gaara: WHY?!
A: Without you there wouldn't have been an Alliance! Why did you have to hold a passionate speech that unified the entire world in less than a minute? Didn't you sort of steal Naruto's job?
Mei: Oh yeah...I'm surprised people aren't actually discussing that a bit more. Loyalties are fickle here.
Gaara: I hate you all...if I could walk, I'd totally leave you all behind.
*And back to our hero*
Hashirama: I'm blissfully unaware of that, now go and attack Madara.
Fodder 455: Fine, but can I at least get some backup from the 40.000 people who are standing around doing nothing?
Minato: I'm afraid we'll need them here to be impressed by our awesomeness or explain the plot if it gets too messy. I'm sure you'll do well on your own.
Fodder 455: I hate you all.
*Five minutes later*
Madara: Oh, hello there chap, care for a spot of tea?
Fodder 455: Actually I'm sort of supposed to fight you...
Madara: Dear me! Why on Earth would you want to do that?
Fodder 455: Well you're sort of destroying the world in order to create your own mental amusement park...And I sort of like living and I have a wife and kids...you know, the usual. Wait, why aren't you attacking the Hokage while they're distracted?
Madara: Well you see, Hashirama told me to wait.
Fodder 455: ...Wat.
Madara: Yes, so I'm waiting for him. Kind of a bore really.
Fodder 455: But...but what about creating your utopia?! What about your masterplan?! What about your GOALS AND YOU BEING A VILLAIN?
Madara: Oh, that? Well I can do that after I have defeated Hashirama of course.
Fodder 455: So defeat him now?
Madara: No, I'd rather not...I'm enjoying my 12 o' clock tea.
Fodder 455: You're not worried at all about the fact that you'll have to deal with three other Hokage, the protagonist of the story, the plot warping Uchiha and 40.000 other people?
Madara: Not really no. Besides, Hashirama told me to wait, it'd be rather rude if I just disobeyed him like that.
Fodder 455: You're the most disappointing villain ever!
Madara: Well that was rude! I'm afraid I won't offer you any biscuits now. Just sit down and watch the story taking place.
Fodder 455: Fine.
*Meanwhile, down there*
Sasuke: I hate you all, I killed the sixth Hokage (although everyone seems to be okay with that), I have been a traitor to the village for three years and even before that I treated you all like crap, but I sort of want to become Hokage now.
Naruto: I'm not surprised at all to see my father and all the other Hokage who have been my idols since I was a kid fight here alongside me.
Kiba: So...are we supposed to do something? I mean we have been thoroughly neglected for years, why do you care about our opinions of Sasuke?
Minato: Haters gonna hate when I bring my cape of hatred.
Hiruzen: I wonder if I'm actually going to do something, seeing as I have no Tailed Beast power ups, no Senju DNA, no eye jutsus and no Kekkei Genkai. Huh...
Tobirama: SCREEEEEEEEEN TIIIIIIIIIME.
Hasirama: How the hell did everyone get hold of my DNA anyway...
Sakura: I'm going to do something!
*Crickets...cough...*
Since this week's chapter was exceptionally awful in an arc that has made no sense whatsoever, I decided to write a little bit of satire. It's lengthy and not the funniest I have ever written, but I figured I might as well post it here in case someone needed something lighter after this week's disappointment. Enjoy:
Hashirama: Alright guys, make sure Madara doesn't attack us while we four try and defeat the god of this world. We should be done by lunch.
Fodder 455: Er, sir, can we go home now?
Hashirama: I beg your pardon?
Fodder 455: Well I mean...neither I nor my kinsmen without names can do anything in this situation. Why are we even here?
Hiruzen: I don't understand, son, you're a Ninja! You're supposed to deal with the evils trying to take over the world here!
Fodder 455: Yeah but...there's nothing we redshirts can do! This entire 'war' has been about clones beating up Ninja without names. I think someone named Neji died too, but people got over that really quickly.
Minato: Who the hell is Neji?
Fodder 455: Exactly.
Hiruzen: Some lad with...bayakayagan or something. I don't know, I never really liked him.
Tobirama: I don't mind the fodders leaving, I'm finally getting some screen time!
Fodder 455: Great, so I'll just go home, then. Strange that a 'war' only lasts for a couple of days but hell, what do I know, I'm just 'fodder' even though I, too, trained as much as you guys did when I was a child.
Hashirama: Oh hell no, son, you're staying! You can go and make sure Madara doesn't interrupt us.
Fodder 455: Care to run that by me one more time?
Hashirama: You heard me. Go and attack Madara.
Fodder 455: Are you insane?! Do you know what he did to the five current Kage we have conveniently forgotten all about?
*Meanwhile, a few miles east*
Tsunade: The...pain...
Onoki: Why did we even fight against Madara if it didn't contribute anything to the story?!
A: Gaara...I f*cking hate you.
Gaara: WHY?!
A: Without you there wouldn't have been an Alliance! Why did you have to hold a passionate speech that unified the entire world in less than a minute? Didn't you sort of steal Naruto's job?
Mei: Oh yeah...I'm surprised people aren't actually discussing that a bit more. Loyalties are fickle here.
Gaara: I hate you all...if I could walk, I'd totally leave you all behind.
*And back to our hero*
Hashirama: I'm blissfully unaware of that, now go and attack Madara.
Fodder 455: Fine, but can I at least get some backup from the 40.000 people who are standing around doing nothing?
Minato: I'm afraid we'll need them here to be impressed by our awesomeness or explain the plot if it gets too messy. I'm sure you'll do well on your own.
Fodder 455: I hate you all.
*Five minutes later*
Madara: Oh, hello there chap, care for a spot of tea?
Fodder 455: Actually I'm sort of supposed to fight you...
Madara: Dear me! Why on Earth would you want to do that?
Fodder 455: Well you're sort of destroying the world in order to create your own mental amusement park...And I sort of like living and I have a wife and kids...you know, the usual. Wait, why aren't you attacking the Hokage while they're distracted?
Madara: Well you see, Hashirama told me to wait.
Fodder 455: ...Wat.
Madara: Yes, so I'm waiting for him. Kind of a bore really.
Fodder 455: But...but what about creating your utopia?! What about your masterplan?! What about your GOALS AND YOU BEING A VILLAIN?
Madara: Oh, that? Well I can do that after I have defeated Hashirama of course.
Fodder 455: So defeat him now?
Madara: No, I'd rather not...I'm enjoying my 12 o' clock tea.
Fodder 455: You're not worried at all about the fact that you'll have to deal with three other Hokage, the protagonist of the story, the plot warping Uchiha and 40.000 other people?
Madara: Not really no. Besides, Hashirama told me to wait, it'd be rather rude if I just disobeyed him like that.
Fodder 455: You're the most disappointing villain ever!
Madara: Well that was rude! I'm afraid I won't offer you any biscuits now. Just sit down and watch the story taking place.
Fodder 455: Fine.
*Meanwhile, down there*
Sasuke: I hate you all, I killed the sixth Hokage (although everyone seems to be okay with that), I have been a traitor to the village for three years and even before that I treated you all like crap, but I sort of want to become Hokage now.
Naruto: I'm not surprised at all to see my father and all the other Hokage who have been my idols since I was a kid fight here alongside me.
Kiba: So...are we supposed to do something? I mean we have been thoroughly neglected for years, why do you care about our opinions of Sasuke?
Minato: Haters gonna hate when I bring my cape of hatred.
Hiruzen: I wonder if I'm actually going to do something, seeing as I have no Tailed Beast power ups, no Senju DNA, no eye jutsus and no Kekkei Genkai. Huh...
Tobirama: SCREEEEEEEEEN TIIIIIIIIIME.
Hasirama: How the hell did everyone get hold of my DNA anyway...
Sakura: I'm going to do something!
*Crickets...cough...*
