NARUTO CHRONICLES - THE DEMON WITHIN ----- btw gore warning children do not read

Zephon

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btw this is in book type layout so prepare to read btw my puncuation isn't that all good first time so... lay off the nasty criticism please btw GORE!!!!

Prologue ------ Passage Down The Icy Slopes
The room is dark and damp the windows and doors are barred the smell is of a quickly cooked meal of raw meat that seemed to have been rotting when it was used. There is shouting outside, screaming as an angry mob arises saying things like ?Kill the freaks? and ?burn them inside?.
Three people are in this small house cowering in fear for their very lives. There is man about in his early 30?s tall shady man with long white hair and a scar on his left cheek. He seems the only person not crying only pacing from one side of the room to the other checking his watch for some unnatural reason. In the corner of the room is a small blonde haired woman huddling her small child in fear with tears streaming from her face like dark black waterfall. She squeezes the child hard the father takes no attention to this and as her torn dark brown clothes leak with slight hints of blood the child begins to cry. The boy grabs her mother only about 6 the boy is but he can tell something is wrong she reassures him that everything is fine, but the father turns his head and faint signs of crying are seen.
The mother slowly fades into a deep sleep and as her hand hits the floor and her face lowers to one side. The father burst into a howling cry as he knows his wife?s injuries have put an end to her he trembles to the floor lying on the floor he huddles himself. The boy doesn?t notice till his mothers grip loosens. He tries so hard to wake her up pushing biting to get her to awaken. He just keeps on crying shouting ?mummy!! Wake up? over and over. By this point the mother is covered in a mass of her own blood but the boy keeps on going and going.
Suddenly there is a large bang at the door. The father wakes from his state of sadness and umps to his feet he grabs the boy and stuffs him in under the floorboards. The boy fits in perfectly and the plans are replaced. An angry mob smashes their way through the door and swarm around the father like a pack of hungry wolves. The father produces a sword from his undercoat.
One of the mob lunges at the father the father deflects the mace hit and cut?s into the man?s skull cleaving bits of it over the already ruined carpet. The man?s body hits the ground instantly while blood spews out of his semi -decapitated head. Three mob members wielding sharpened tools rush the father one of them cuts a hole in the father?s chest. Blood splatters over the father?s hair and over everything else he does a spinning motion and cleaves 2 of the mob members slicing one of mob member?s leg off and one into the gut of the other the blade was trapped in the mob member. The Father grabs the nearest weapon a kunai and sweep kicks one of mob in the shin instantly making her collapse he then shoves the kunai into her right eye piercing right through the back of her head, part of brain matter are pulled out as he gains his kunai back the rest just leaked out of the newly made hole in her head. The man trembles and collapses. The mob sees it as an opening and jump on him smashing at him stabbing at him. He takes every blow. His arm is broken as a mob member kicked it while it rested next to a table leg. A mob member takes a broken bottle to his gut making a bigger wound and revealing the fathers intestine. After awhile they stop the father barely alive with his skull cracked in several places his fingers torn off and his arm broke with his bowls scattered on the floor. He had no chance of living. Then one of the mob cuts his throat and blood shoots out of his throat like a fully opened tap.
The boy squeals and the mob instantly find him. They tear the floorboards out and snatch the boy. The boy covering himself in his white hair sees his father?s dead body and bursts into tears some of the mob take pity and convince that he should be put into slavery rather than be beaten to death. Some others disagree but were quickly shadowed by the others. The boy was then hit in the back of the head.

The boy found himself in a large room with loads of fancy people. He was chained to the floor and was gagged he looked to his left and saw that he was being auctioned off to strangers he struggled to break free but it was no use. More and more money was put up for him then he gained his first master.
3 years later at the age of 9 with no name and no identity he was alone his master found him useless and bored of torturing him sold him back into the slavery. This time it was different just before the final verdict was made another man won the bet. A cloaked man in his 50?s reached his hand in the air and said ?20,000?
The auctioneer had no choice and stated ?Sold to the old man in the front row?.
 
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Shade

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This is a beginning of either a great man, or the most evil man in history. Gruesome details on his psychological nature and can lead into deep flashbacks that may drive him either psychotic or to be a just, moral man. From humble beginnings this story will grow into one of the best.

You have my praise. Excellent work.

P.S. Separate thoughts and actions into paragraphs so make the story less daunting to the reader.
 

Zephon

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This is a beginning of either a great man, or the most evil man in history. Gruesome details on his psychological nature and can lead into deep flashbacks that may drive him either psychotic or to be a just, moral man. From humble beginnings this story will grow into one of the best.

You have my praise. Excellent work.

P.S. Separate thoughts and actions into paragraphs so make the story less daunting to the reader.
awesome thanks btw heres a clue for what he becomes is his title ---- the ice demon ------
 
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