my joke from google
A local United Way office realized that the organization had never received a donation from the town's most successful lawyer. The person in charge of contributions called him to persuade him to contribute.
"Our research shows that out of a yearly income of at least $500,000, you give not a penny to charity. Wouldn't you like to give back to the community in some way?"
The lawyer mulled this over for a moment and replied, "First, did your research also show that my mother is dying after a long illness, and has medical bills that are several times her annual income?"
Embarrassed, the United Way rep mumbled, "Um ... no."
The lawyer interrupts, "or that my brother, a disabled veteran, is blind and confined to a wheelchair?"
The stricken United Way rep began to stammer out an apology, but was interrupted again.
"or that my sister's husband died in a traffic accident," the lawyer's voice rising in indignation, "leaving her penniless with three children?!"
The humiliated United Way rep, completely beaten, said simply, "I had no idea..."
On a roll, the lawyer cut him off once again, "So if I don't give any money to them, why should I give any to you?"
edit just saw he said it could not be me ehhhhhh segregation i see how it is
xdOh, that's funny as hell right there. Have you heard this one?:
A man walks into a coffee shop and orders a latte just as a 12 year-old boy enters the shop. The man behind the counter says to the man,
"Ya see that kid over there? He's the dumbest kid you'll ever set your eyes on."
The man looks over at the boy and looks back confused to say,
"What makes him so dumb?"
The man pulls $1.50 of his pocket and, holding the dollar in one hand and the two quarters in the other, says to the boy,
"Hey, kid. Come over here and choose whichever hand you want."
The boy walks over, takes the quarters, and darts out or the shop. The man turns back to his customer and says,
"See? The kid always takes the quarters. Is he dumb or what?"
Five minutes later, the man finishes his latte, pays, and leaves. On his way down the sidewalk, he looks into a small arcade and sees the boy from the shop playing one of the games. He enters the arcade and walks up to the boy and says,
"Excuse me, young man. I saw you in that coffee shop down the block. Would you mind telling me why you would pick 50 cents over a dollar?"
The boy looks back at his game and then at the man and says,
"Cause the day that I take the dollar, the game is over."
I heard that one day and thought it was amazing.
