not an excuse. a reason and a justification for why they are acting the wrong way. that is not to say that their behavior should be tolerated. they should be shown the right direction and learn to behave in accordance with appropriate societal values and human integrity. you hating them and willingly showing them that you do, only solidifies - in their minds - that they need to be fake and narcissists and disloyal because people will hurt them. you need to give them space. respect them and you say you see them for who they are, then show them that you do. that you see who they are, who they are trying so desperately to suppress and put on a facade to protect themselves. and they'll feel it's okay to be who they truly are rather than adopting a transgender or cross-dressing identity to make up for the void they have within them.
when you show them through your actions, that another human being sees them for the frightened soul they are and that they are trying to protect, they will learn to see themselves too. when you ignore the facade but respect the person, they will begin to do so too. and one day, they will be well enough to see that what they are doing will benefit them and that it's okay to be vulnerable and be themselves ina world that they believe is out to get them or hurt them if they show themselves.
it's all a defense mechanism to avert attention from who they truly are. so showing them they don't need to defend themselves, that other humans can be kind and understand them and respect them, they too will be able to become content rather than seek superficial happiness in glorifying the mundane or the undue fabricated personalities they've created.
Although i slightly agree with the last part. Kind of the obvious, though.
but...the rest of it...ehhh
It all sounds premeditated, and like your trying to maneuver them, that's very inauthentic.That's not genuine.All you can do is address what the issue is,IF you know what the issue is. Other than that, in the real world,
they're all on their own with their personal issues.You're not their parent, and it isn't your responsibility to maneuver them into seeing things your own way.That means you take the issue
personally.That's slightly hyper-controlling...and hyper controlling leads to something different.That's manipulative, sweetheart.
I never said I hated them, I said they HATE ME, cause I don't react the way others do. . I don't personally CARE for their issue, I just tell it like how i see it and adress what I've noticed about it.And If I did hate them, it wouldn't be because of the fact that they cross dress or *** change, it's because of what it ENTAILS(what it really says about the person).To me it's incredibly an insult.
Shallowness ties into sooo many other things, and comes in so many forms.
Edit: To make something clear, I don't MISTREAT them for what they do. I react based off of what they PRESENT to me. And If I feel like they condone it, then that also screams shallow and materialistic to me.