Ldude
Sannin of the Scrolls 📜
- Joined
- Jan 8, 2012
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Here's another poem. Feel free to tell me if it's awful and how I can improve. I accept any and all criticisms.
Untitled #2
You told me it was beautiful,
And big, and bold, and dutiful-
Yes, the moon must always glow
And let its radiance proudly show.
Well, the moon is but a crescent
That comes waning evanescent
With its drab and dreary tones,
The marrow leeched out from its bones.
Can you put the color back
Into that grave that has been sacked?
Can you change its rough exterior,
When the moon is so inferior?
Nothing bests those ultraviolet rays;
The moon does not deserve such praise.
The sun is always gleaming full,
Outlasting something dead and dull.
Slave as you will and strain as you might,
But the sun’s killed the shine of the moonlit night.
It will never amass light as great as the sun-
No, that’s a deed that can’t be done.
Untitled #2
You told me it was beautiful,
And big, and bold, and dutiful-
Yes, the moon must always glow
And let its radiance proudly show.
Well, the moon is but a crescent
That comes waning evanescent
With its drab and dreary tones,
The marrow leeched out from its bones.
Can you put the color back
Into that grave that has been sacked?
Can you change its rough exterior,
When the moon is so inferior?
Nothing bests those ultraviolet rays;
The moon does not deserve such praise.
The sun is always gleaming full,
Outlasting something dead and dull.
Slave as you will and strain as you might,
But the sun’s killed the shine of the moonlit night.
It will never amass light as great as the sun-
No, that’s a deed that can’t be done.
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