shusui uchiha
Active member
ive been working on a script for the past 3 years its been copyrighted and will soon be published as manga later this year early next year, i have the script and want to know if you guys want to read it as you have all been very nice and i know you will give honest criticism.
im not sure how much im aloud to release as a few ends need to be tided up, my publisher may be upset but im sure i can release intro if you guys want to read it and give your criticism of whats good and whats not that would be very helpful.
also im only 18 so the support will be very much appreciated thank you.
this is intro
COUNTRY POWERS
NORTH= SHINSWEE AND THE FOUR ELEMENTS
EAST= CONTROL TIME
SOUTH= BRUTE STREGTH AND DURATION
WEST= KINETIC ENERGY AND STOPPING SHINSWEE
KEY __(HELLO)__ THOUGHTS IN HEAD
(WALKS) ACTIONS OR INTERUPTIONS
((HELLO)) FLASH BACK
HELLO CAPITAL WORDS MEAN SHOUTING
Credo: Go now take Hikaru, (SHOUTS) remember 2472 to him i won’t be able to ho... (INTERUPTED)
(BANG DOOR FLIES OPEN CREDO NEIKA AND HIKARU FALL TO THE FLOOR)
NEIKO: "It seems we were interrupted last time, don't worry I took care of those little fools you hypnotised. Did you really think they would stop me, oh by the way I didn't get to congratulate you, well look at him, your son, even as a baby, the look he gives-not even a drop of fear, you know, looking at him I see me when I was younger"(WALKING FORWARD AIR BEGINS TO FREEZE AND CONDENSATION IS NOTICABLE)
CREDO: "Look NEIKA his eyes, there still as cold as ever"(TRYING TO STAND)
NEIKO: "Now finally where all alone there may be no music but let’s dance"(STOPS WALKING BEGINS TO SMILE)
CREDO: Shut up you bastard, Neika, Go now & remember 2472(POINTING AT THE FAR WINDOW)
NEIKA: __(NO)__
NEIKA: "No you can't handle him yourself please let me help"(PICKS UP HIKARU AND SLOWLY WALKS TO CREDO WHILE TALKING)
CREDO: “The only way you can help is to look after my son"(EYES START TO WATER) "I'm sorry son I'm sorry I won't be here for you, but your mother, she will.. (INTERUPTED)
HIKARU: "Leave father alone, I don't want you to go daddy"(JUMPS FROM MOTHER AND WALKS INFRONT OF CREDO AND NEIKA)
NEIKO: "How could you."
(NEIKA GRABS HIKARU AND RUNS HOLDING THE BABY IN BLUE SHEETS SUDDENLY TURNING INTO MUD AND GOES UNDERGROUND)
NEIKO: "Well that’s a nice technique, seems you have everyone fooled, you have mocked me, tricked me, and taken it all but now”
(NEIKO DISAPEARS COMPLETLY AND LAUGHS)
NEIKO: "You die this is a new trick Credo i hope you enjoy”
CREDO: "This trick will not work on me my eyes see everything and there's nothing I can't see, a trick I learned... since I left"
NEIKO: "Well someone’s been playing in the east this shall be fun"
(DAGGERS ARE THROWN FROM A DISAPEARD NEIKO, CREDO DODGES EACH ONE WITH EASE, SUDDENLY A CLONE MADE OF ICE GRABS CREDO AROUND HIS NECK FROM BEHIND AND BEGINS TO FREEZE HIM NEIKO APEARS AND WALKS TOWARDS HIM WHILE THE CLONE HOLDS CREDO)
NEIKO: "I had wished for a better fight but it seems this one is over"(NEIKO CREATES A LONG SWORD CREATED FROM FINE ICE IT ALMOST LOOKS LIKE DIAMONDS AND IS ABOUT TO SLASH CREDO)
(CREDO STEPS OUT OF HIS OWN BODY AND GRABS NEIKO WRIST AS HE IS TAKING A SLICE)
CREDO: "Well it seems you’re in luck, because that's what you've got, my technique is far superior to anything you may have. You have been going around for 10 years stealing technique's and this is the best you have, the truth is the only one you have ever wanted is mine, my technique is a step away from being perfected and when it is, I'll be immortal"(NEIKO DRAGS HIS HAND AWAY FROM CREDO GRASP AND JUMPS BACK CREDO BEGINS TO LAUGH)
NEIKO: "You bastard, that's how you did it, those eyes, you have tricked my family into believing that your me, with your eyes and I’ll kill you for it, I'm thinking once you die so does your technique"
CREDO: "The east has been very kind to me"
(NEIKO RUNS TO CREDO JUMPS IN THE AIR AND THROWS A ICE SWORD AT CREDO,CREDO JUMPS IN THE AIR AVOIDING THE ICE SWORD,HE JUMPS TORWARDS NEIKO,CREDO CREATES TWO METAL SWORDS NEIKO CREATES ANOTHER ICE DAGGER AND THE TWO BEGIN SLASHING AWAY AT EACH OTHER)
CREDO: "When did you gain this strength hmmm?"
NEIKO: "You die now."
NEIKO: "You can try."
(THE TWO SWORDS COLIDE AND THEY BOTH FALL TO THERE FEET,ICE DAGGERS APEAR FROM THE FLOOR,CEILING AND EVERY ANGLE OF THE ROOM THEY ALL TRY STAB CREDO,CREDO STARTS DOING BACK FLIPS DODGING THE ICE DAGGERS FLYING TO HIM,SHINSWEE STARTS TO FORM IN NEIKOS HAND)
NEIKO: "Now it’s over."
(NEIKO THROWS HIS DAGGER STRAIGHT AT CREDO WHILE HE IS BACKFLIPING DODGING THE REST OF THE DAGGERS THE DAGGER THROWN BEGINS TO SPIN AND DUPLICATE CREATING A HORIZONTAL TWISTER WITH HUNDREDS OF DAGGERS)
NEIKO: "NOWW AUGA LIFE OF 100 DIAMONDS."
(CREDO SMILES)
(NEIKOS ATTACK MAKES A MASSIVE EXPLOSION DESTROYING THE BACK OF THE BUILDING CREDO IS NOW KNOW WHERE TO BE SEEN)
NEIKO: "Now it’s done (NEIKO DROPS TO HIS KNEES AND BEGINS TO PANT) it seems like fighting off Credo twice times in one day is my limit but at least credo is........."
(CREDO APEARS INFRONT OF NEIKO WHILE NEIKOS DOWN ON ONE KNEE GASPING FOR BREATH NEIKO LOOKS UP AT CREDO)
NEIKO: "Teleportation?"
CREDO: "I call it that."
(CREDO KICKS NEIKO IN HIS FACE TO THE OPPOSITE SIDE OF THE ROOM HE HITS THE BACK WALL NEIKOS BODY TURNS TO WATER WHEN IT HITS THE BACK WALL)
CREDO: "Hmpth."
(NEIKOS BODY FORMS BEHIND CREDO FROM THE WATER, CREDO TURNS AROUND AND GRABS NEIKOS NECK WITH HIS RIGHT HAND AT THE POINT OF HIS RE-ENTRY)
CREDO: "PREDICTABLE."
(CREDO RIGHT HAND BEGINS TO FORM ELECTRICITY WHILE A FIRE BALL STARTS TO FORM IN HIS LEFT HE SLAMS NEIKO AGAINST THE WALL WITH HIS RIGHT HAND)
NEIKO: "Let go of me."
CREDO: "Now you die."
(CREDO RIGHT HAND ELECTRICTFYS AND BEGINS TO SHOCK NEIKO)
NEIKO: "AGHHHHHHHH."
(CREDO BRINGS HIS LEFT ARM BACK AND IS ABOUT TO HIT HIM WITH THE FIRE BALL THEN SUDDENLY THE AIR TURNS VIOLIENT AND WINDY)
CREDO: "Ohhhhhh seems you still have some fight in you."(LET’S GO OF NEIKO AND JUMPS BACK)
NEIKO: "You think you can take my family my shinswee and my life without cost well there’s a price to pay and it seems you’re in debt but don’t worry ill make sure that all your debts are paid in FULL
(TWISTERS COME DOWN FROM THE SKY BREAKING THROUGH THE CABIN CEILING AND INTO THE CABIN NEXT TO NEIKO
NEXT SCENE
(NEIKA PUTS HIKARU DOWN ON THE GRASS NEIKA PUTS HER HANDS ON HIS HEAD)
(NEIKA): "Wait here, I have to go and help your father, do not move I’ll be back as soon as possible"
(SHE STANDS AND KISSES HER SON)
(HIKARU): "Mum please don't go I'm scared"(HOLDING ON TO NEIKAS LEG HIKARU BEGINS TO CRY)
(HIKARU): "Mummy I don't want you to go, stay with me"
__(I'm sorry Hikaru I'm sorry for what i am about to do, I love you so much and only wish I could have been there to watch you grow.)__
(NEIKA): "Hikaru you STOP this crying, RIGHT NOW! You are the son of Neiko, one of the most superior warrior's there is, you will be brave do you understand"(NEIKA RELEASE HIS GRIP FROM HER LEG AND KNEELS DOWN TO HIM)
(HIKARU): "Y-yes mum" (wiping his eyes)
(NEIKA): "I'll be back as soon as possible stay hidden and speak to no one"(NEIKA KISSES HER SON AND THEN STANDS)
HIKARU: "I-i love you mum"(LOOKING UP AT HIS MUM)
(MOTHER LOOKS AT HER CHILD TRYING HIS HARDEST TO HOLD IN THE TEARS AND HER EYES BEGINS TO WATER SHE TURNS AWAY RUNS ALONG THE GRASS JUMPS AND HER BODY INSTANTLY TURNS INTO MUD AND SHE GOES UNDERGROUND)
HIKARU: "MUMMMMMM" (while crying)
NEXT SCENE
CREDO: "So you believe with pathetic stolen technique's you can defeat me, psh, it’s a joke, you’re a joke, I know you have sensed it, the power within your son, well after you finally die it'll be mine"
NEIKO: "I will not allow you to harm my son" (CLENCHES HIS FIST AND WATCHES CREDO ACTION AS CREDO BEGINS TO WALK)
CREDO: "And how are you going to do that your son and wife are both mi....." (INTERUTED)
NEIKA: "SUPRESSED SHINSWEE TECHNIQUE"(STANDING ON THE CABINS WINDOW LEDGE HER HAND STRETCHED AS FAR AS THEY CAN, SHE SHOOTS A BOLT OF YELLOW SHINSWEE AT CREDO)
CREDO/NEIKO: "NEIKA"
NEIKA: "I heard it all and have been broken from his shinswee"(NEIKA JUMPS INTO THE CABIN BY NEIKO'S SIDE)
CREDO: "I don’t know this ability"
NEIKO: "She's stopped the flow of your shinswee, you will be temporary paralysed"(NEIKO PUTS HIS RIGHT HAND BEHIND HIM AND A BALL OF WATER WITH ICE AND SHINSWEE WITHIN IT BEGINS TO FORM)
NEIKA: ........
CREDO: "This will not stop my technique; ha you’re still a joke"
NEIKA: "This will SUPRES......." (INTERUPTED)
CREDO: "I said it before your both jokes, the only reason i didn't just kill you Neika, is because I didn't want to trigger your son to early, but now he's mine, it doesn’t matter"
NEIKA: "Trigger"? __(DOES THIS MEAN ITS TRUE)__
CREDO: "Now I’ll show you why the North, East, South and West all fear me the north look upon you as there god but in my presents you’re a mere child that’s stepped out his pram."
NEIKO: "Even you can’t beat me and Neika one of the best from the West."(NEIKO'S EYES TURN PURPLE THE OUTLINE OF HIS EYES BECOME BLACK HIS CLOTHES TURN BLACK AND HAIR BEGINS TO GROW LONG DOWN TO HIS BACK THE FLOOR BENEATH HIS FEET BEGIN TO FREEZE."
NEIKA: "__(SO THIS IS YOUR TRUE POWER NEIKO)__
CREDO: "Someone’s getting serious well i shall not disappoint thee and reply with the power that all 4 nations fear ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH."
(CREDO’S HAIR TURNS WHITE BLUE, MARKINGS APEAR AT THE SIDE OF HIS FACE, A METAL ARMOR APEARS OVER HIS LEFT SHOULDER DOWN TO HIS FOREARM, A BLUE CROSS APEARS IN THE MIDDLE OF HIS FACE ON HIS FOREHEAD, TWO SWORDS APEAR ON HIS BACK SPARKS AND ELECTRICITY IS NOTICABLE AROUND CREDO, DROPLETS OF WATER APEAR ABOVE HIM ONTO HIS WHITE HAIR THE GROUND BENEATH HIM BEGINS TO LEVITATE)
NEIKO: "His shinswee is at it’s at level nine, it can’t be."(STEPPING BACK)
NEIKA: "This is marks of legends, Neiko you are a god among the North what level is your shinswee."
CREDO: "5 very impressive that you have reached that far in your development i remember that transformation, but your power x10 each time you transform and I’m on nine."
NEIKO: "It’s said after level nine you’re immortal, immune to it all."
(CREDO LEVITATES NEIKA AND STARTS TO CHOKE HER)
NEIKA: "Aghhhhhhhh."
NEIKO: "Stop it."
CREDO: "Hmpthhh."
NEIKA: "Neik-o help me."(HOLDING HER THROAT WHILE HER LEGS DANGLE)
NEIKO: "Now Credo."
(CREDO FORMS A BALL OF WATER AROUND NEIKA AND STEPS OUT HIS BODY LEAVING A COPY OF HIMSELF LEVITATING NEIKA IN THE AIR IN WATER CREDO WALKS FORWARD TO NEIKO AND TURNS BACK AT THE COPY)
NEIKO: "Neikas strong she won’t die so easily."
CREDO: "You got this."
COPY CREDO: "Yeah."
(CREDO TURNS BACK TO NEIKO)
CREDO: "Is that so Neiko."(THE COPY OF CREDO STARTS TO STREAM LIGHTNING INTO THE BALL OF WATER)
NEIKA: “aghhh.”
NEIKO: "NEIKA."(NEIKO LOOKS BACK AT NEIKA AND BACK TO CREDO TO SEE CREDO IN HIS FACE WITH A BALL OF FIRE IN HIS HANDS)
CREDO: "You took your eyes off me."(CREDO RAMS THE FIRE BALL IN HIS CHEST SENDING HIM IN THE AIR)
NEIKO: "AARGHHHHHHHH."__(LEVEL NINE FIRE BALL HEAT RIVALS A SUPERNOVA)__
CREDO. "Hmpth."(CREDO LOOKS DOWN THEN TELEPORTS TO THE AIR ABOVE NEIKO)
CREDO. "AUGA LIFE OF 8100 DIAMONDS."(HE FORMS A DAGGER AND THROWS IT DOWN AT NEIKO WHOSE FLYING TOWARDS HIM FROM THE FIRE BALL,THE ICE BEGINS TO SPIN AND DUPLICATE CREATING A HORIZONTAL TWISTER WITH THOUSANDS OF DAGGERS)
NEIKO."kill me with my own techinque."__(HIKARU YOU MUST SURVIVE I LOVE YOU NEIKA IM SORRY)__
HIKARU SEES A MASSIVE EXPLOTION AND IS KNOCKED DOWN FROM THE AFTERMATH THEN HE HEARS THE SCREAM FROM HIS MUM) "mum i'm coming" (LAYING ON THE FLOOR HIKARU SEES CREDO STANDING ABOVE HIM IN HIS NORMAL STATE) "daddy"
(CREDO smiles)
KIYOMI: "Hikaru wake up, you moron"
this is the raw version but anything you guys say i will listen and take notes thank you alot in advance
im not sure how much im aloud to release as a few ends need to be tided up, my publisher may be upset but im sure i can release intro if you guys want to read it and give your criticism of whats good and whats not that would be very helpful.
also im only 18 so the support will be very much appreciated thank you.
this is intro
COUNTRY POWERS
NORTH= SHINSWEE AND THE FOUR ELEMENTS
EAST= CONTROL TIME
SOUTH= BRUTE STREGTH AND DURATION
WEST= KINETIC ENERGY AND STOPPING SHINSWEE
KEY __(HELLO)__ THOUGHTS IN HEAD
(WALKS) ACTIONS OR INTERUPTIONS
((HELLO)) FLASH BACK
HELLO CAPITAL WORDS MEAN SHOUTING
Credo: Go now take Hikaru, (SHOUTS) remember 2472 to him i won’t be able to ho... (INTERUPTED)
(BANG DOOR FLIES OPEN CREDO NEIKA AND HIKARU FALL TO THE FLOOR)
NEIKO: "It seems we were interrupted last time, don't worry I took care of those little fools you hypnotised. Did you really think they would stop me, oh by the way I didn't get to congratulate you, well look at him, your son, even as a baby, the look he gives-not even a drop of fear, you know, looking at him I see me when I was younger"(WALKING FORWARD AIR BEGINS TO FREEZE AND CONDENSATION IS NOTICABLE)
CREDO: "Look NEIKA his eyes, there still as cold as ever"(TRYING TO STAND)
NEIKO: "Now finally where all alone there may be no music but let’s dance"(STOPS WALKING BEGINS TO SMILE)
CREDO: Shut up you bastard, Neika, Go now & remember 2472(POINTING AT THE FAR WINDOW)
NEIKA: __(NO)__
NEIKA: "No you can't handle him yourself please let me help"(PICKS UP HIKARU AND SLOWLY WALKS TO CREDO WHILE TALKING)
CREDO: “The only way you can help is to look after my son"(EYES START TO WATER) "I'm sorry son I'm sorry I won't be here for you, but your mother, she will.. (INTERUPTED)
HIKARU: "Leave father alone, I don't want you to go daddy"(JUMPS FROM MOTHER AND WALKS INFRONT OF CREDO AND NEIKA)
NEIKO: "How could you."
(NEIKA GRABS HIKARU AND RUNS HOLDING THE BABY IN BLUE SHEETS SUDDENLY TURNING INTO MUD AND GOES UNDERGROUND)
NEIKO: "Well that’s a nice technique, seems you have everyone fooled, you have mocked me, tricked me, and taken it all but now”
(NEIKO DISAPEARS COMPLETLY AND LAUGHS)
NEIKO: "You die this is a new trick Credo i hope you enjoy”
CREDO: "This trick will not work on me my eyes see everything and there's nothing I can't see, a trick I learned... since I left"
NEIKO: "Well someone’s been playing in the east this shall be fun"
(DAGGERS ARE THROWN FROM A DISAPEARD NEIKO, CREDO DODGES EACH ONE WITH EASE, SUDDENLY A CLONE MADE OF ICE GRABS CREDO AROUND HIS NECK FROM BEHIND AND BEGINS TO FREEZE HIM NEIKO APEARS AND WALKS TOWARDS HIM WHILE THE CLONE HOLDS CREDO)
NEIKO: "I had wished for a better fight but it seems this one is over"(NEIKO CREATES A LONG SWORD CREATED FROM FINE ICE IT ALMOST LOOKS LIKE DIAMONDS AND IS ABOUT TO SLASH CREDO)
(CREDO STEPS OUT OF HIS OWN BODY AND GRABS NEIKO WRIST AS HE IS TAKING A SLICE)
CREDO: "Well it seems you’re in luck, because that's what you've got, my technique is far superior to anything you may have. You have been going around for 10 years stealing technique's and this is the best you have, the truth is the only one you have ever wanted is mine, my technique is a step away from being perfected and when it is, I'll be immortal"(NEIKO DRAGS HIS HAND AWAY FROM CREDO GRASP AND JUMPS BACK CREDO BEGINS TO LAUGH)
NEIKO: "You bastard, that's how you did it, those eyes, you have tricked my family into believing that your me, with your eyes and I’ll kill you for it, I'm thinking once you die so does your technique"
CREDO: "The east has been very kind to me"
(NEIKO RUNS TO CREDO JUMPS IN THE AIR AND THROWS A ICE SWORD AT CREDO,CREDO JUMPS IN THE AIR AVOIDING THE ICE SWORD,HE JUMPS TORWARDS NEIKO,CREDO CREATES TWO METAL SWORDS NEIKO CREATES ANOTHER ICE DAGGER AND THE TWO BEGIN SLASHING AWAY AT EACH OTHER)
CREDO: "When did you gain this strength hmmm?"
NEIKO: "You die now."
NEIKO: "You can try."
(THE TWO SWORDS COLIDE AND THEY BOTH FALL TO THERE FEET,ICE DAGGERS APEAR FROM THE FLOOR,CEILING AND EVERY ANGLE OF THE ROOM THEY ALL TRY STAB CREDO,CREDO STARTS DOING BACK FLIPS DODGING THE ICE DAGGERS FLYING TO HIM,SHINSWEE STARTS TO FORM IN NEIKOS HAND)
NEIKO: "Now it’s over."
(NEIKO THROWS HIS DAGGER STRAIGHT AT CREDO WHILE HE IS BACKFLIPING DODGING THE REST OF THE DAGGERS THE DAGGER THROWN BEGINS TO SPIN AND DUPLICATE CREATING A HORIZONTAL TWISTER WITH HUNDREDS OF DAGGERS)
NEIKO: "NOWW AUGA LIFE OF 100 DIAMONDS."
(CREDO SMILES)
(NEIKOS ATTACK MAKES A MASSIVE EXPLOSION DESTROYING THE BACK OF THE BUILDING CREDO IS NOW KNOW WHERE TO BE SEEN)
NEIKO: "Now it’s done (NEIKO DROPS TO HIS KNEES AND BEGINS TO PANT) it seems like fighting off Credo twice times in one day is my limit but at least credo is........."
(CREDO APEARS INFRONT OF NEIKO WHILE NEIKOS DOWN ON ONE KNEE GASPING FOR BREATH NEIKO LOOKS UP AT CREDO)
NEIKO: "Teleportation?"
CREDO: "I call it that."
(CREDO KICKS NEIKO IN HIS FACE TO THE OPPOSITE SIDE OF THE ROOM HE HITS THE BACK WALL NEIKOS BODY TURNS TO WATER WHEN IT HITS THE BACK WALL)
CREDO: "Hmpth."
(NEIKOS BODY FORMS BEHIND CREDO FROM THE WATER, CREDO TURNS AROUND AND GRABS NEIKOS NECK WITH HIS RIGHT HAND AT THE POINT OF HIS RE-ENTRY)
CREDO: "PREDICTABLE."
(CREDO RIGHT HAND BEGINS TO FORM ELECTRICITY WHILE A FIRE BALL STARTS TO FORM IN HIS LEFT HE SLAMS NEIKO AGAINST THE WALL WITH HIS RIGHT HAND)
NEIKO: "Let go of me."
CREDO: "Now you die."
(CREDO RIGHT HAND ELECTRICTFYS AND BEGINS TO SHOCK NEIKO)
NEIKO: "AGHHHHHHHH."
(CREDO BRINGS HIS LEFT ARM BACK AND IS ABOUT TO HIT HIM WITH THE FIRE BALL THEN SUDDENLY THE AIR TURNS VIOLIENT AND WINDY)
CREDO: "Ohhhhhh seems you still have some fight in you."(LET’S GO OF NEIKO AND JUMPS BACK)
NEIKO: "You think you can take my family my shinswee and my life without cost well there’s a price to pay and it seems you’re in debt but don’t worry ill make sure that all your debts are paid in FULL
(TWISTERS COME DOWN FROM THE SKY BREAKING THROUGH THE CABIN CEILING AND INTO THE CABIN NEXT TO NEIKO
NEXT SCENE
(NEIKA PUTS HIKARU DOWN ON THE GRASS NEIKA PUTS HER HANDS ON HIS HEAD)
(NEIKA): "Wait here, I have to go and help your father, do not move I’ll be back as soon as possible"
(SHE STANDS AND KISSES HER SON)
(HIKARU): "Mum please don't go I'm scared"(HOLDING ON TO NEIKAS LEG HIKARU BEGINS TO CRY)
(HIKARU): "Mummy I don't want you to go, stay with me"
__(I'm sorry Hikaru I'm sorry for what i am about to do, I love you so much and only wish I could have been there to watch you grow.)__
(NEIKA): "Hikaru you STOP this crying, RIGHT NOW! You are the son of Neiko, one of the most superior warrior's there is, you will be brave do you understand"(NEIKA RELEASE HIS GRIP FROM HER LEG AND KNEELS DOWN TO HIM)
(HIKARU): "Y-yes mum" (wiping his eyes)
(NEIKA): "I'll be back as soon as possible stay hidden and speak to no one"(NEIKA KISSES HER SON AND THEN STANDS)
HIKARU: "I-i love you mum"(LOOKING UP AT HIS MUM)
(MOTHER LOOKS AT HER CHILD TRYING HIS HARDEST TO HOLD IN THE TEARS AND HER EYES BEGINS TO WATER SHE TURNS AWAY RUNS ALONG THE GRASS JUMPS AND HER BODY INSTANTLY TURNS INTO MUD AND SHE GOES UNDERGROUND)
HIKARU: "MUMMMMMM" (while crying)
NEXT SCENE
CREDO: "So you believe with pathetic stolen technique's you can defeat me, psh, it’s a joke, you’re a joke, I know you have sensed it, the power within your son, well after you finally die it'll be mine"
NEIKO: "I will not allow you to harm my son" (CLENCHES HIS FIST AND WATCHES CREDO ACTION AS CREDO BEGINS TO WALK)
CREDO: "And how are you going to do that your son and wife are both mi....." (INTERUTED)
NEIKA: "SUPRESSED SHINSWEE TECHNIQUE"(STANDING ON THE CABINS WINDOW LEDGE HER HAND STRETCHED AS FAR AS THEY CAN, SHE SHOOTS A BOLT OF YELLOW SHINSWEE AT CREDO)
CREDO/NEIKO: "NEIKA"
NEIKA: "I heard it all and have been broken from his shinswee"(NEIKA JUMPS INTO THE CABIN BY NEIKO'S SIDE)
CREDO: "I don’t know this ability"
NEIKO: "She's stopped the flow of your shinswee, you will be temporary paralysed"(NEIKO PUTS HIS RIGHT HAND BEHIND HIM AND A BALL OF WATER WITH ICE AND SHINSWEE WITHIN IT BEGINS TO FORM)
NEIKA: ........
CREDO: "This will not stop my technique; ha you’re still a joke"
NEIKA: "This will SUPRES......." (INTERUPTED)
CREDO: "I said it before your both jokes, the only reason i didn't just kill you Neika, is because I didn't want to trigger your son to early, but now he's mine, it doesn’t matter"
NEIKA: "Trigger"? __(DOES THIS MEAN ITS TRUE)__
CREDO: "Now I’ll show you why the North, East, South and West all fear me the north look upon you as there god but in my presents you’re a mere child that’s stepped out his pram."
NEIKO: "Even you can’t beat me and Neika one of the best from the West."(NEIKO'S EYES TURN PURPLE THE OUTLINE OF HIS EYES BECOME BLACK HIS CLOTHES TURN BLACK AND HAIR BEGINS TO GROW LONG DOWN TO HIS BACK THE FLOOR BENEATH HIS FEET BEGIN TO FREEZE."
NEIKA: "__(SO THIS IS YOUR TRUE POWER NEIKO)__
CREDO: "Someone’s getting serious well i shall not disappoint thee and reply with the power that all 4 nations fear ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH."
(CREDO’S HAIR TURNS WHITE BLUE, MARKINGS APEAR AT THE SIDE OF HIS FACE, A METAL ARMOR APEARS OVER HIS LEFT SHOULDER DOWN TO HIS FOREARM, A BLUE CROSS APEARS IN THE MIDDLE OF HIS FACE ON HIS FOREHEAD, TWO SWORDS APEAR ON HIS BACK SPARKS AND ELECTRICITY IS NOTICABLE AROUND CREDO, DROPLETS OF WATER APEAR ABOVE HIM ONTO HIS WHITE HAIR THE GROUND BENEATH HIM BEGINS TO LEVITATE)
NEIKO: "His shinswee is at it’s at level nine, it can’t be."(STEPPING BACK)
NEIKA: "This is marks of legends, Neiko you are a god among the North what level is your shinswee."
CREDO: "5 very impressive that you have reached that far in your development i remember that transformation, but your power x10 each time you transform and I’m on nine."
NEIKO: "It’s said after level nine you’re immortal, immune to it all."
(CREDO LEVITATES NEIKA AND STARTS TO CHOKE HER)
NEIKA: "Aghhhhhhhh."
NEIKO: "Stop it."
CREDO: "Hmpthhh."
NEIKA: "Neik-o help me."(HOLDING HER THROAT WHILE HER LEGS DANGLE)
NEIKO: "Now Credo."
(CREDO FORMS A BALL OF WATER AROUND NEIKA AND STEPS OUT HIS BODY LEAVING A COPY OF HIMSELF LEVITATING NEIKA IN THE AIR IN WATER CREDO WALKS FORWARD TO NEIKO AND TURNS BACK AT THE COPY)
NEIKO: "Neikas strong she won’t die so easily."
CREDO: "You got this."
COPY CREDO: "Yeah."
(CREDO TURNS BACK TO NEIKO)
CREDO: "Is that so Neiko."(THE COPY OF CREDO STARTS TO STREAM LIGHTNING INTO THE BALL OF WATER)
NEIKA: “aghhh.”
NEIKO: "NEIKA."(NEIKO LOOKS BACK AT NEIKA AND BACK TO CREDO TO SEE CREDO IN HIS FACE WITH A BALL OF FIRE IN HIS HANDS)
CREDO: "You took your eyes off me."(CREDO RAMS THE FIRE BALL IN HIS CHEST SENDING HIM IN THE AIR)
NEIKO: "AARGHHHHHHHH."__(LEVEL NINE FIRE BALL HEAT RIVALS A SUPERNOVA)__
CREDO. "Hmpth."(CREDO LOOKS DOWN THEN TELEPORTS TO THE AIR ABOVE NEIKO)
CREDO. "AUGA LIFE OF 8100 DIAMONDS."(HE FORMS A DAGGER AND THROWS IT DOWN AT NEIKO WHOSE FLYING TOWARDS HIM FROM THE FIRE BALL,THE ICE BEGINS TO SPIN AND DUPLICATE CREATING A HORIZONTAL TWISTER WITH THOUSANDS OF DAGGERS)
NEIKO."kill me with my own techinque."__(HIKARU YOU MUST SURVIVE I LOVE YOU NEIKA IM SORRY)__
HIKARU SEES A MASSIVE EXPLOTION AND IS KNOCKED DOWN FROM THE AFTERMATH THEN HE HEARS THE SCREAM FROM HIS MUM) "mum i'm coming" (LAYING ON THE FLOOR HIKARU SEES CREDO STANDING ABOVE HIM IN HIS NORMAL STATE) "daddy"
(CREDO smiles)
KIYOMI: "Hikaru wake up, you moron"
this is the raw version but anything you guys say i will listen and take notes thank you alot in advance
