Found this on my iPad obviously incomplete but interesting non- the less. Cant remember where I was going with this...
Growing up with a family like mine, i suppose it is inconceivable that I could ever have hopedto be normal. I am haunted by an awareness above*
After years, of *fighting, betrayal and constant deception. I am a ghost, *emotion has deserted me. I'm apathetic in the truest sense, withdrawn indefinitely from the world that seems to please my peers.*
How could this be enough for them? How could this be enough for anyone?*
I am a faceless figure in a charade of masked men and women.*
People spend their entire clinging to the idea of self decency. Clinging to the idea that they are important, worthy,better than those whom they surround them selves with.I say they are all fools.*
Like any normal Saturday afternoon I browsed Facebook in search of fleeting amusement, a quick laugh or maybe a picture of a hot babe. *Anything to subdue my boredom I'm only for a moment. I Scrolled apathetically fearing nothing may have happened since I checked 30 seconds ago. A block of red on black text caught my eye, after a *moment of slight hesitation i started reading hoping to get a good giggle.*
"In order to survive we cling to all we know and understand and label it reality, but knowledge and understating are ambiguous, that reality could be a illusion isn't that another way of looking at it." "What?"For days I pondered the qoutation collapsing under the sheer enormity of its implication. *I couldn't sleep, I refused to eat. I needed to wrap my head around the idea.*I retraced my life, with intimate attention to*detail. Searching the edges of my mind hoping to discover some profound understanding. Nothing came, no veil was lifted, no question answered. After 4 days I had all but given up.*
it was as if a great veil had lifted, *as If the curtain had finally opened. Revealing to me what I had long since feared, in a series of eloquent and well structured sentences. I had spent my entire life wondering and now the question had been clear, a far more frightening prospect now layed before me.*
Growing up with a family like mine, i suppose it is inconceivable that I could ever have hopedto be normal. I am haunted by an awareness above*
After years, of *fighting, betrayal and constant deception. I am a ghost, *emotion has deserted me. I'm apathetic in the truest sense, withdrawn indefinitely from the world that seems to please my peers.*
How could this be enough for them? How could this be enough for anyone?*
I am a faceless figure in a charade of masked men and women.*
People spend their entire clinging to the idea of self decency. Clinging to the idea that they are important, worthy,better than those whom they surround them selves with.I say they are all fools.*
Like any normal Saturday afternoon I browsed Facebook in search of fleeting amusement, a quick laugh or maybe a picture of a hot babe. *Anything to subdue my boredom I'm only for a moment. I Scrolled apathetically fearing nothing may have happened since I checked 30 seconds ago. A block of red on black text caught my eye, after a *moment of slight hesitation i started reading hoping to get a good giggle.*
"In order to survive we cling to all we know and understand and label it reality, but knowledge and understating are ambiguous, that reality could be a illusion isn't that another way of looking at it." "What?"For days I pondered the qoutation collapsing under the sheer enormity of its implication. *I couldn't sleep, I refused to eat. I needed to wrap my head around the idea.*I retraced my life, with intimate attention to*detail. Searching the edges of my mind hoping to discover some profound understanding. Nothing came, no veil was lifted, no question answered. After 4 days I had all but given up.*
it was as if a great veil had lifted, *as If the curtain had finally opened. Revealing to me what I had long since feared, in a series of eloquent and well structured sentences. I had spent my entire life wondering and now the question had been clear, a far more frightening prospect now layed before me.*
........
