FoxxyJones
Member
Summary: The untold stories of a former loser's trials learning to teach the greatest genius born from the mighty Hyuuga clan.
Chapter One: Kakashi's Warning
“Yo, Gai! You made it!”
I waved, pushing the hanging aside to enter the bar from which my friends had greeted me. “Hey, Kakashi! Asuma! How’s life?”
“Same as always,” Kakashi slapped me on the back as I sat in the seat next to him. “Heard you just got off a mission.”
“Psh! Mission! It was barely a workout.” And it had been. Delivering messages was a poor excuse for a mission and was genin work, but times were peaceful and honest-to-goodness, rightful shinobi work was not necessary.
Asuma laughed, vibrant and youthful. “You take life too seriously, Gai! These easy times aren’t going to last!”
“Here’s hoping.” Now that was a terrible thing to say and I immediately vowed an extra fifty laps to my before-bed training to make up for wishing such a tragedy.
Kakashi waved down the bartender and turned to me. “What’re you drinking, Gai? Domestic?”
“Nah, I’ll pass.”
Kakashi stared, as if he had not heard me. “Import? That’s not like you-”
“No, Kakashi. I’m passing on the alcohol altogether.”
Asuma leaned over to stare at me, too. “Why?”
I could not help it. I was dying to announce it! A huge smile burst across my face and I replied, “I’m getting kids!”
“With what woman!”
I shot Kakashi a nasty look. “You know what I mean, Kakashi. The Academy is about to graduate a powerful class and I want in on all that raw youth!”
Asuma chuckled. “Already, Gai? You’ve still got a little youth in you yourself.”
“Of course! So I need to change my habits, starting with drinking and swearing.”
“You don’t even have them yet,” Kakashi murmured absently, rolling his eyes. “And why swearing? You’re a grown man, Gai. It’s your god given right to swear. Why not women?”
I scoffed lightly. “Kakashi, I already respect women! But, what if I swear in front of my new students? They’ll start swearing and next thing you know, they’ll be robbing banks and murdering old ladies.”
“That’s a little dramatic, Gai-”
“Unacceptable! And so, I have devised new words to replace the unsavory ones. For example, instead of ‘ass’ I will now say ‘fanny’ and instead of the‘f’ word, I will say ‘fart’.”
Kakashi snorted. “So, when I want to say ‘shut the **** up’ in front of your kids, I’m going to say ‘shut the fart up’?”
“Precisely. That way, they won’t learn dirty words from me or by extension, you.”
Kakashi and Asuma exchanged glances and then burst out into uproarious laughter. Kakashi slapped him on the shoulder, shouting, “Asuma, you are such a fanny!”
“Don’t fartin’ talk to me like that, Kakashi!”
“Suck my biscuits!”
“Fart off!”
I rolled my eyes. They obviously did not understand the noble sacrifice I was making for the future of our village. “You guys are *******s.”
Kakashi threw an arm around my shoulders. “Don’t you mean fanny-holes? Ha ha! Oi, Bartender! Another fartin’ round!”
Asuma wiped his eyes, catching his breath. “Naw, Gai. We get it. You just want to be a good role model for ‘em.”
“And it’s great, but…” Kakashi snorted and laughed again. “They’re twelve!”
“I know! Isn’t that such a youthful age, rival? Remember? We didn’t know anything when we graduated from the Academy…”
“Uh… we didn’t graduate at-”
“It still applies.” I sighed lightly, then turned on my eternal rival. “And weren’t you supposed to sign up for a new team this year? You said you would!”
Kakashi rolled his eyes absently. “Yeah… well, my application was late and-”
“Like hell it was, rival. Seriously. Why’d you skip out on me?”
“Y’wanna know the truth, Gai?” Kakashi looked around, exchanged another glance with Asuma, then leaned in and whispered, “They’re graduating Neji Hyuuga this year.”
I thought back, thinking of the child that was being praised as the greatest prodigy of the mighty Hyuuga clan. I shrugged. “So?
“So? Gai, I’d be a little more concerned if I were you.”
I shrugged again. “Why?”
Kakashi looked over to Asuma, who shrugged regretfully, as if he pitied me. Kakashi turned back and his voice dropped to a foreboding whisper. “That kid’s not normal.”
“Obviously. I heard he’s a genius.”
“He’s evil, that’s what he is. Haven’t you heard, Gai? At least five of his teachers quit.”
Asuma chimed in, “I heard he made one of them wet himself.”
I frowned suspiciously, but I could feel my heart beginning to race. “I’ve never heard of such instances.”
“I’ve heard from Iruka that his Byakugan is so powerful, it can see into your very soul and read your greatest fears and weaknesses. And he’s brutal about it. Apparently, one of the teachers ended up killing herself.”
“Suicide rate in students went up when he entered, too,” Asuma added. “Apparently it isn’t so fun being his classmate, either.”
“No kidding. They’re all afraid to spar with him and with the suicide rate being what it is, one wonders if they’re actually killing themselves.”
My heart leapt. “What? No way!”
“Yeah. Apparently, he’s already mastered the Gentle Fist.”
“Impossible-!”
“I’m telling you, Gai,” Kakashi warned softly, eyeing me with his good eye. “You’d best do everything in your power to make sure you don’t end up with this kid.”
“How…” My voice broke. I cleared my throat. “How do you know all this? Academy teachers- bless their hearts- are notorious gossips!”
“So are the Hyuugas, but you wouldn’t doubt their knowledge,” Kakashi retorted firmly. “Besides… they’re scared of Neji, too.”
I swallowed nervously. “The Hyuugas? How… how do you know?”
“I’ve seen the way they look at that kid when he walks by. I was delivering a message to Hiashi one day and I saw them step out of his way. You know for a fact, Gai, that Hyuugas don’t move aside for anyone.”
I could feel a tremor going down my legs. I glanced over to Asuma, who nodded in somber agreement. My hands began shaking. “Kakashi, I don’t believe this. The Hokage would never-”
“Gai, that kid is going to be a great ninja one day. It’s in the Hokage’s best interest to keep him around. Well, at least… until he wants to take over. But, by then…” Kakashi paused and gave a little shudder. “Who knows?”
The shaking got worse until I could feel it in my jaw. I clenched my teeth to keep them from chattering. Surely…! Surely…!
Kakashi shrugged and suddenly cheered up. “Well, no worries, Gai! I’m sure you’ll be okay. Right, Asuma?”
“Naturally,” Asuma threw back the last of his sake and gave a satisfied sigh. “I’m sure you can handle whatever the Hokage throws at you, right, Gai?”
I was still clenching my teeth, so all I could do was nod. I slid out of my seat carefully, waved goodbye and made a beeline to the training grounds where I fully intended to train the thoughts of this horrifying child out of my head. I heard Kakashi and Asuma’s laughter echo in my head for most of the way.
A/N: I'm going to go ahead and post chapter two, as well, as this chapter really is meant to be read immediately before hand.
Chapter One: Kakashi's Warning
“Yo, Gai! You made it!”
I waved, pushing the hanging aside to enter the bar from which my friends had greeted me. “Hey, Kakashi! Asuma! How’s life?”
“Same as always,” Kakashi slapped me on the back as I sat in the seat next to him. “Heard you just got off a mission.”
“Psh! Mission! It was barely a workout.” And it had been. Delivering messages was a poor excuse for a mission and was genin work, but times were peaceful and honest-to-goodness, rightful shinobi work was not necessary.
Asuma laughed, vibrant and youthful. “You take life too seriously, Gai! These easy times aren’t going to last!”
“Here’s hoping.” Now that was a terrible thing to say and I immediately vowed an extra fifty laps to my before-bed training to make up for wishing such a tragedy.
Kakashi waved down the bartender and turned to me. “What’re you drinking, Gai? Domestic?”
“Nah, I’ll pass.”
Kakashi stared, as if he had not heard me. “Import? That’s not like you-”
“No, Kakashi. I’m passing on the alcohol altogether.”
Asuma leaned over to stare at me, too. “Why?”
I could not help it. I was dying to announce it! A huge smile burst across my face and I replied, “I’m getting kids!”
“With what woman!”
I shot Kakashi a nasty look. “You know what I mean, Kakashi. The Academy is about to graduate a powerful class and I want in on all that raw youth!”
Asuma chuckled. “Already, Gai? You’ve still got a little youth in you yourself.”
“Of course! So I need to change my habits, starting with drinking and swearing.”
“You don’t even have them yet,” Kakashi murmured absently, rolling his eyes. “And why swearing? You’re a grown man, Gai. It’s your god given right to swear. Why not women?”
I scoffed lightly. “Kakashi, I already respect women! But, what if I swear in front of my new students? They’ll start swearing and next thing you know, they’ll be robbing banks and murdering old ladies.”
“That’s a little dramatic, Gai-”
“Unacceptable! And so, I have devised new words to replace the unsavory ones. For example, instead of ‘ass’ I will now say ‘fanny’ and instead of the‘f’ word, I will say ‘fart’.”
Kakashi snorted. “So, when I want to say ‘shut the **** up’ in front of your kids, I’m going to say ‘shut the fart up’?”
“Precisely. That way, they won’t learn dirty words from me or by extension, you.”
Kakashi and Asuma exchanged glances and then burst out into uproarious laughter. Kakashi slapped him on the shoulder, shouting, “Asuma, you are such a fanny!”
“Don’t fartin’ talk to me like that, Kakashi!”
“Suck my biscuits!”
“Fart off!”
I rolled my eyes. They obviously did not understand the noble sacrifice I was making for the future of our village. “You guys are *******s.”
Kakashi threw an arm around my shoulders. “Don’t you mean fanny-holes? Ha ha! Oi, Bartender! Another fartin’ round!”
Asuma wiped his eyes, catching his breath. “Naw, Gai. We get it. You just want to be a good role model for ‘em.”
“And it’s great, but…” Kakashi snorted and laughed again. “They’re twelve!”
“I know! Isn’t that such a youthful age, rival? Remember? We didn’t know anything when we graduated from the Academy…”
“Uh… we didn’t graduate at-”
“It still applies.” I sighed lightly, then turned on my eternal rival. “And weren’t you supposed to sign up for a new team this year? You said you would!”
Kakashi rolled his eyes absently. “Yeah… well, my application was late and-”
“Like hell it was, rival. Seriously. Why’d you skip out on me?”
“Y’wanna know the truth, Gai?” Kakashi looked around, exchanged another glance with Asuma, then leaned in and whispered, “They’re graduating Neji Hyuuga this year.”
I thought back, thinking of the child that was being praised as the greatest prodigy of the mighty Hyuuga clan. I shrugged. “So?
“So? Gai, I’d be a little more concerned if I were you.”
I shrugged again. “Why?”
Kakashi looked over to Asuma, who shrugged regretfully, as if he pitied me. Kakashi turned back and his voice dropped to a foreboding whisper. “That kid’s not normal.”
“Obviously. I heard he’s a genius.”
“He’s evil, that’s what he is. Haven’t you heard, Gai? At least five of his teachers quit.”
Asuma chimed in, “I heard he made one of them wet himself.”
I frowned suspiciously, but I could feel my heart beginning to race. “I’ve never heard of such instances.”
“I’ve heard from Iruka that his Byakugan is so powerful, it can see into your very soul and read your greatest fears and weaknesses. And he’s brutal about it. Apparently, one of the teachers ended up killing herself.”
“Suicide rate in students went up when he entered, too,” Asuma added. “Apparently it isn’t so fun being his classmate, either.”
“No kidding. They’re all afraid to spar with him and with the suicide rate being what it is, one wonders if they’re actually killing themselves.”
My heart leapt. “What? No way!”
“Yeah. Apparently, he’s already mastered the Gentle Fist.”
“Impossible-!”
“I’m telling you, Gai,” Kakashi warned softly, eyeing me with his good eye. “You’d best do everything in your power to make sure you don’t end up with this kid.”
“How…” My voice broke. I cleared my throat. “How do you know all this? Academy teachers- bless their hearts- are notorious gossips!”
“So are the Hyuugas, but you wouldn’t doubt their knowledge,” Kakashi retorted firmly. “Besides… they’re scared of Neji, too.”
I swallowed nervously. “The Hyuugas? How… how do you know?”
“I’ve seen the way they look at that kid when he walks by. I was delivering a message to Hiashi one day and I saw them step out of his way. You know for a fact, Gai, that Hyuugas don’t move aside for anyone.”
I could feel a tremor going down my legs. I glanced over to Asuma, who nodded in somber agreement. My hands began shaking. “Kakashi, I don’t believe this. The Hokage would never-”
“Gai, that kid is going to be a great ninja one day. It’s in the Hokage’s best interest to keep him around. Well, at least… until he wants to take over. But, by then…” Kakashi paused and gave a little shudder. “Who knows?”
The shaking got worse until I could feel it in my jaw. I clenched my teeth to keep them from chattering. Surely…! Surely…!
Kakashi shrugged and suddenly cheered up. “Well, no worries, Gai! I’m sure you’ll be okay. Right, Asuma?”
“Naturally,” Asuma threw back the last of his sake and gave a satisfied sigh. “I’m sure you can handle whatever the Hokage throws at you, right, Gai?”
I was still clenching my teeth, so all I could do was nod. I slid out of my seat carefully, waved goodbye and made a beeline to the training grounds where I fully intended to train the thoughts of this horrifying child out of my head. I heard Kakashi and Asuma’s laughter echo in my head for most of the way.
A/N: I'm going to go ahead and post chapter two, as well, as this chapter really is meant to be read immediately before hand.