The Milits Chapter 6

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Skylar Knight

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The Milits
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Chapter 6 - The Nightmare begins

A doctor with a dirty, gray dress and mustache examines the little girl’s arm. She just sits there without knowing what’s going on.

Doctor: It doesn’t seem like anything’s wrong… Was her hand really on fire?

The blonde-haired mother sits next to Alice concerned.

Mother: Yes Doctor, I saw it with my own eyes… We were walking in the streets when she suddenly told me her arm was on fire. I rushed here after I put it out…

Alice: Mommy, can we go now? I don’t want to be here anymore…

The doctor looks at her hand a little more.

Mother: She also told me it didn’t hurt…

The doctor looks up in surprise.

Doctor: What? It didn’t hurt? Hmmmm…

A door opens up, and a tall man walks in. He has red hair, and wears a green jacket.

Alice: Daddy!

Father: Alice! I was so worried! Everyone in town talks about what happened… You’re not hurt, are you?

She smiles, and shakes her head.

Doctor: Good timing, I have to talk to you both… alone…

The two parents look concerned at the doctor, and tell Alice to go out of the office while they talk. Alice walks happily out, and sees Sarah sitting outside waiting.

Sarah: Alice! I’ve been waiting forever… Is your arm okay?

Alice: Yeah, I’m okay I guess… but I don’t know w-

Alice suddenly hears a gasp from her mother inside the office.

Sarah: Hey, was that your mother?

Both Alice and Sarah try to listen through the door.

Father: A milit?! Are you sure about this doctor?

The two girls look at each other while listening to the conversation.

Alice: What’s a milit?

Sarah: I heard it’s some kind of wizard. Why are they talking about that?

The door suddenly opens, and the girls quickly stand up. Alice’s parents look at her for a moment before smiling.

Mother: Everything’s going to be okay, sweetie.

Father: Yeah, we’re not going let anyone hurt you.

Alice looks confused at them, but just smiles and holds their hands while walking home and Sarah happily follows.

-The scene switches to the military base in Fahra (3 hour later)-

The newly promoted sergeant walks into the Lieutenant office.

Sergeant John: Lieutenant Sir! The doctor in town reported about a new Milit!

The old Lieutenant stops writing on his reports, and puts his pen down.

Lieutenant: Who is this Milit?

-The scene switches to the streets-

It’s still in the middle of the day, and the two girls Alice and Sarah run around in town playing tag. They slowly start getting tired.

Sarah: *Pant* You can't catch me, Alice!

Alice stops running after Sarah.

Alice: *Pant* Wait a second *pant* … I *pant* need to rest *pant* for a mome- Ouch!

A rotten apple hits the little girl’s face.

Sarah: A-Alice! Who did that!?

The girls look around, and notice some people pointing at Alice.

Random citizen 1: That’s her, right? That’s the Milit…

Random citizen 2: Yeah, just look how disgusting she is… sweaty and dirty…

Alice backs away a little, and looks around in shock. The juice from the apple slowly drips down from here head.

Alice: W-w-what’s…

Tears show up in Alice’s eyes. A man passes by and spits at her, and someone tries to throw a rock at her, but misses.

Alice: W-what’s going on?


-End of Chapter-


Thank you if you read, voted or replied :)
 
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Shinobi Train

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Okay, I like how you're getting emotion in there, and nice job with the ending. I really think there needs to be more description, but I could see a crowd starting to form around Alice as she became an outcast all of the sudden. It's also adding in that milits aren't accepted, so now there's a threat that Skylar would be targeted for being one. I have an idea where the next few chapters are going...but I don't want to say just yet. :ice:

*scratches head* I'm not sure what to comment on here exactly, nothing stands out, but I will say to keep working on that grammar and description. There aren't any pictures, so you have to paint pictures with your words; this is what makes writing difficult. ;)
 

0neCrazyAngel

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i really like this FF. it reminds me of X-men for some reason :eek:
its like being a mutant or simply being different is such a bad thing. :mad:
as always u didnt fail us! good job skylar :ice:
cant wait for chapter 7 to come out :ice:
i know its going to be awesome!!! :glomp:
 
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