Summary: It's been some years since Sasuke left the sunny, deplorable Konoha Ad Agency. Naruto wants him back. His lackeys can suck it.
chapter 1
the good, the bad, and the tenacious
I. after three hip replacements
Naruto Uzumaki doesn’t take no for an answer. Specifically when the ‘no’ is from Sasuke Uchiha to come back to the Konona Advertising Agency.
Alright, admittedly, he doesn’t know what ‘no’ is. He’s too obstinate to get the memo, and, not to mention, too dimwitted to tell the difference between a solid ‘no’ and a ‘get the hell out of the building, Uzumaki, or I’ll have my men taser you down’. That, or he simply doesn’t care.
Once, the barbs of the taser got near his grown, and Naruto could’ve sworn he could feel the electricity inside him--a throbbing, painful surge of energy flowing through his cojones. Inside, out. Everywhere.
Twice, Naruto was beaten to a pulp. There was nothing left but some jello-like substance and some bone--he looked like some sad knockoff of a human being, black and purple and red. He couldn’t move for three days. The second time, Sakura didn’t bother visiting him in the hospital.
Sasuke was wrong to think it would be easy to get rid of him. It was never going to be easy.
Day after day, the blonde stands right outside the front door looking into the Hebi Agency’s lobby. Either waiting to strike or pee, either one.
“How idiotic,” He says, sucking in a breath. “Why don’t you just go away, already?”
“Because, teme.” Naruto looks right at him. “We need you back.”
“Tch.” Sasuke sighs.
He never learns.
II. the plan that can't possibly go wrong
“No luck?” Sakura moves the pink hair out of her face, glaring up at Naruto. “Atleast you didn’t get shot.”
“We’re gonna take Sasuke back.”
“Sasuke’s bodyguards are getting bigger.” Sakura looks at him, intently.
“And sexier.” Ino adds.
“I’m gonna make a deal with Orochimaru.” Naruto says.
Sakura’s gaze focuses on Ino on the table and her swinging legs. “Does Kakashi know about this? What about the rest of agency, idiot?”
“Yeah, yeah.” He grumbles. “I set an appointment for 8 a.m.”
III. operation: sasuke
The building is far from an unusual one--a glass exterior that glitters in the sunlight, concave and glistening and tall, golden balcony’s seen every few floors, a sinuous fountain at the front of the building.
If Naruto had a word to describe it, it would be off-putting and pretentious. Which, okay, that’s describing Sasuke in a nutshell so it’s no surprise his building is the way same way.
It’s 7:30 when Naruto arrives. He’s greeted by a cantankerous redhead and a conniving silverhaired prince, of some sort. The redhead keeps looking at him, shifting her gaze every so often to the prince looking guy.
It’s not until 7:45 where the prince and the redhead break out into a knock-down drag-out fight when the prince says some off mark comment to the redhead that Naruto is stuck between them, spit flying everywhere, unable to move.
“Look, idiot. I filed them correctly. You’re just trying to being a condescending, pea-brained moron.”
“Look who’s talking.”
A second later her fists collide right against his now crackling, nearly dislodged jaw. He blinks, his smug face shaken, his expression quickly shifting to shock and dismay. The room falls silent and a peculiar ringing fills Suigetsu’s ears while he places his left hand underneath his chin, soothing it.
“You repugnant--” Karin huffs, placing the palm of her hand on her swollen, burning knuckles. “--vile, obnoxious pig.”
It takes less than five minutes for the corner of Suigetsu’s lips to start to curve upward, forming a devious smirk. “Geesh, look who didn’t take her sane pills today.”
The sound of a hand ruffling against a suit interrupts Karin’s response, with her mouth gaping open. He’s slender. Such an astonishing specimen. A man of the highest quality. She tucks her hair behind her ear, losing control of her tongue and surprisingly, her motor skills.
“Sasuke, you should put your dragon on a leash.” Suigetsu now has reached a level of smugness no man could possibly compete with.
Sasuke arches a brow. He studies Karin’s gaping mouth and pulls himself closer to the ruckus out of morbid curiosity. Or, as he usually calls it, the circus.
“Why is there so much commotion? What’s going on here?”
“Suigetsu-” Karin sputters, trying to get a word in. Naruto blinks.
“We have a deadline to follow, Karin. Quit screwing around.”
“H-h-” She stutters. The type of stutter where she trips on her tongue and it flops around in her mouth like a spastic fish. It’s an ugly, horrid stutter. She looks down, utterly perturbed, her glasses sliding down her face, hair still tucked tightly behind her ear. “...damnit.”
And that’s when Sasuke’s facial expression abruptly stops being marked by confusion and instead by an intense stupefaction. His brows twitch. “Naruto.”
Naruto Uzumaki doesn’t take no for an answer. Specifically when the ‘no’ is from Sasuke Uchiha to come back to the Konona Advertising Agency.
Alright, admittedly, he doesn’t know what ‘no’ is. He’s too obstinate to get the memo, and, not to mention, too dimwitted to tell the difference between a solid ‘no’ and a ‘get the hell out of the building, Uzumaki, or I’ll have my men taser you down’. That, or he simply doesn’t care.
Once, the barbs of the taser got near his grown, and Naruto could’ve sworn he could feel the electricity inside him--a throbbing, painful surge of energy flowing through his cojones. Inside, out. Everywhere.
Twice, Naruto was beaten to a pulp. There was nothing left but some jello-like substance and some bone--he looked like some sad knockoff of a human being, black and purple and red. He couldn’t move for three days. The second time, Sakura didn’t bother visiting him in the hospital.
Sasuke was wrong to think it would be easy to get rid of him. It was never going to be easy.
Day after day, the blonde stands right outside the front door looking into the Hebi Agency’s lobby. Either waiting to strike or pee, either one.
“How idiotic,” He says, sucking in a breath. “Why don’t you just go away, already?”
“Because, teme.” Naruto looks right at him. “We need you back.”
“Tch.” Sasuke sighs.
He never learns.
II. the plan that can't possibly go wrong
“No luck?” Sakura moves the pink hair out of her face, glaring up at Naruto. “Atleast you didn’t get shot.”
“We’re gonna take Sasuke back.”
“Sasuke’s bodyguards are getting bigger.” Sakura looks at him, intently.
“And sexier.” Ino adds.
“I’m gonna make a deal with Orochimaru.” Naruto says.
Sakura’s gaze focuses on Ino on the table and her swinging legs. “Does Kakashi know about this? What about the rest of agency, idiot?”
“Yeah, yeah.” He grumbles. “I set an appointment for 8 a.m.”
III. operation: sasuke
The building is far from an unusual one--a glass exterior that glitters in the sunlight, concave and glistening and tall, golden balcony’s seen every few floors, a sinuous fountain at the front of the building.
If Naruto had a word to describe it, it would be off-putting and pretentious. Which, okay, that’s describing Sasuke in a nutshell so it’s no surprise his building is the way same way.
It’s 7:30 when Naruto arrives. He’s greeted by a cantankerous redhead and a conniving silverhaired prince, of some sort. The redhead keeps looking at him, shifting her gaze every so often to the prince looking guy.
It’s not until 7:45 where the prince and the redhead break out into a knock-down drag-out fight when the prince says some off mark comment to the redhead that Naruto is stuck between them, spit flying everywhere, unable to move.
“Look, idiot. I filed them correctly. You’re just trying to being a condescending, pea-brained moron.”
“Look who’s talking.”
A second later her fists collide right against his now crackling, nearly dislodged jaw. He blinks, his smug face shaken, his expression quickly shifting to shock and dismay. The room falls silent and a peculiar ringing fills Suigetsu’s ears while he places his left hand underneath his chin, soothing it.
“You repugnant--” Karin huffs, placing the palm of her hand on her swollen, burning knuckles. “--vile, obnoxious pig.”
It takes less than five minutes for the corner of Suigetsu’s lips to start to curve upward, forming a devious smirk. “Geesh, look who didn’t take her sane pills today.”
The sound of a hand ruffling against a suit interrupts Karin’s response, with her mouth gaping open. He’s slender. Such an astonishing specimen. A man of the highest quality. She tucks her hair behind her ear, losing control of her tongue and surprisingly, her motor skills.
“Sasuke, you should put your dragon on a leash.” Suigetsu now has reached a level of smugness no man could possibly compete with.
Sasuke arches a brow. He studies Karin’s gaping mouth and pulls himself closer to the ruckus out of morbid curiosity. Or, as he usually calls it, the circus.
“Why is there so much commotion? What’s going on here?”
“Suigetsu-” Karin sputters, trying to get a word in. Naruto blinks.
“We have a deadline to follow, Karin. Quit screwing around.”
“H-h-” She stutters. The type of stutter where she trips on her tongue and it flops around in her mouth like a spastic fish. It’s an ugly, horrid stutter. She looks down, utterly perturbed, her glasses sliding down her face, hair still tucked tightly behind her ear. “...damnit.”
And that’s when Sasuke’s facial expression abruptly stops being marked by confusion and instead by an intense stupefaction. His brows twitch. “Naruto.”
