The Forgotten Tale: A Link Through Time II

Michael92

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Previous Chapter:



Chapter 2;
Destined Meeting:


For as long as time remember, there has always been war...

Although different periods of time has brought different eras of peace,
An underlying cause for hatred has always been there lurking in the shadows,
Always present, always abiding its time to spring forth once again to disturb the hard-fought peace...
This tale is that of the forgotten, in a distant place far, far away.

This is how it all began, 7000 years ago...
When a defining change was just about to happen,
A different course, in a different place than what we eventually has come to know as the "Earth."
A change that would make two worlds collide, the starting point for a new beginning...

This is the tale of Jedi Master Revan
And how he came to be known as the Hero of Time,
The first wielder of the Master Sword.
This is how it all began, a long time ago...

In a Galaxy, far, far away.


"My name... is Revan, and I am looking for someone."

There was no trace left of the thunderstorm that had raged on earlier as the skies above slowly began to clear. The wind still blew strong, but it was suddenly oddly quiet out there, in the middle of nowhere. Revan had come a long way to reach this place in his hunt for Demise, but despite his somewhat troublesome landing (which was more like a good old solid crash-landing to be honest), both his mind and body still remained calm, with his focus still fixed on his one and only goal. Having been approached by a mysterious man as soon as he set foot on the ground, Revan was in for the meeting of his life. A meeting, that would change both his life and this world, forever...

"Revan you say?? Hmmm... Why does that sound so familiar??"

Looking puzzled at him, the startled man could only scratch his head, lingering the thought for a second before he continued.

"And who are you looking for?? Not me I presume??"

Curious as he was, the man himself was not even sure where he was or what he was doing there to begin with, yet alone even beginning to understand what or who this Revan guy was or where he came from. Sensing this, Revan then answered with a follow-up question.

"No... I'm not looking for you, however, I suppose who I am looking for, should not be the first thing you should worry about, is there??"

Instantly realizing that the man before him was no ordinary man at all, Revan could easily feel that something was up. This green planet called Earth... Humans were definitely the main inhabitants of this place, at least that he was certain of, however, even as far behind in technology that they seemed to be, the man standing before him did not seem to be anywhere close to representing this time nor place, and something about this unusual feeling made Revan curious to finding out just who this person really could be.

"What do you mean??"

Looking at him as if surprised, the mysterious man pondered long and hard on Revan's question.

"You seem more lost than I do to be honest, friend."

"Hmm..."

A smile formed on Revan's face as he looked at the man standing before him. He couldn't feel a strong connection to the force on this far-away planet, but he still had enough touch with it to be able to feel that something great and quite peculiar was troubling this man.

"Hey by the way... Are you even human? I mean, you came from space in that thing behind you, right? What exactly are you, Revan?"

Looking back at him with a puny expression on his face, the man wasn't quite sure what to make out of this strange meeting. He didn't know why, but he felt like he had to figure out exactly what and who he was dealing with before continuing this conversation any further, for his own safety. But getting answers to his many questions were not really something Revan could give him. At least not at this point of time anyways.

"Hah, yeah of course I am, but I'm not from this place, no. However, something tells me you aren't either, are you?"

"I... I don't know, I can't..."

Not knowing how to respond to Revan's question, the man looked to the side. Seeing this, Revan decided to push on with another question.

"Have you seen a spacecraft like this before? Do you know why you are here, why we were destined to meet like this??"

"Destined to meet??..."

Pressing on, Revan sought to find out more about who this person in front of him was and why he so accidentally had stumbled across his spacecraft just as it crashed to the earth.

"I-..."

Not really sure what to say, the man yet again scratched his head, sitting down cross-legged as he did. Looking up at Revan, the man then intertwined his arms as well as he still had the same confused look from before on his face. Thinking long and hard, the man could not come up with a proper answer. At the end of the day, it seemed like the two of them had just as many question to ask each other, but none of them had sufficient replies to give in return. The conversation was going nowhere, and even Revan had to realize that sooner or later.

"I think... You might be suffering from an amnesia my friend."

Placing his hand on the man's head, Revan closed his eyes for a bit before opening them up again.

"Hmm... Yes, something is definitely not quite right, but I can't say for sure what it is or why, hmm..."

Retracting his arm, Revan could only look at the man, expecting an answer of some sort.

"Well... I know I came through some hole in the air and-..."

"Some hole in the air??"

"Yes... See that burning tree over there??"

Pointing in the direction he came from, the man then continued.

"And I do remember I was sent here for a reason..."

"So, you're from the future then?? That might explain it."

An even bigger smile appeared on Revan's face, as if he was intrigued enough to ask further, to find out more about the curious fellow before him.

"I think so, yes... Hmm, but I'm not quite sure how that's possible..."

Still pondering about the past, or in one sense, the future, the man couldn't seem to remember much.

"I know I was supposed to look much younger than I did before I came here, and he also said that I..."

"Yes??"

"I'm not sure, damn it, why can't I remember?? Strange..."

"Who is this man you are referring to??"

"Excuse me?? I-...!!"

Realizing what Revan meant, the man shot up to his feet in excitement, as if he was starting to remembering something.

"Do you remember something??"

Expecting his mind to kick right back, Revan's eyes widened in anticipation, but the man never came to a conclusion Revan nor himself were satisfied with.

"Actually... I'm not sure..."

"I see... So what is your name??"

Lingering no further, Revan sought to bring the current subject to a close. After all, he had more important things to do than to hang around in this place, and he knew it.

"My name?? Oh... My name... My name is... It should be-..."

"You don't remember huh?? Well then, how about... What do you like??"

"What do I like?? Well, I suppose I'm pretty fond of Ramen if that's what you mean, but-..."

"Menma..."

"Come again??

"Well I figured since you like Ramen, then why not name you that for now??"

Still keeping the firm expression on his face, Revan had to struggle not to chuckle while he said that.

"Menma huh??... I like it..."

"Good... Nice to meet you, Menma!"

Reaching his hand out, Revan finally went on to greet him.

"Likewise, Revan-...?!"

Shaking his hand, the two of them were just about to officially greet when an intense energy-bolt fired off between the two of them just as their hands met, causing them both to fly backwards on their backs. Struggling to get up, Menma seemed to have bumped his head a bit as he looked up, only to see Revan standing just beside him, having already drawn his lightsaber.

"No, no, wait, I didn't-..."

"Oh no, this is not good..."

Having drawn his green lightsaber, Revan seemed to have taken up a defensive position, but just as he did however, his lightsaber seemed to malfunction as the green light energy-beam suddenly disappeared with a buzzing sound before being gone completely.

"Master Hylia is going to kill me for this..."

"Master who??"

Looking puzzled at him yet another time, Menma finally got back up on his feet.

"And what is that weapon??"

"Never mind that now..."

"Why??"

"Because it is broken, that is why... I suppose the crash must have bumped its energy core, and that energy blast just now must have further caused it to malfunction somehow... What was that thing anyways?? When we shook hands, could it be?"

"I don't know, I... It didn't hurt either, but, it still felt like my hand was burning somehow, I..."

Looking down at their hands, the two of them quickly realized that there were nothing to discover. Their hands were completely fine as if nothing had happened.

"Strange indeed... Anyways, we should get out of here before we draw any unwanted attention."

"Good, I don't like this place anyways, hehe. So, what will you do about your... Space-rock??"

"Space-rock? Hah, good one. I'll just leave it. No one around here should have the technology to even begin to grasp what this thing really is or how it works, however, I guess this raises concern on how I'll be able to get back home... This is definitely going to take some time fixing. Come, let's get out of here, Menma. That is, if you want to tag along?"

About to turn around, Revan looked at him one last time, as if expecting the unexpected stranger to join him in his quest, or as it was in Revan's case, his hunt.

"I suppose I could for a little while. It's not like I have anything else to do. In fact, like you mentioned before, I think there's a bigger picture to why we met like this."

"Right... Let's go then."

"Go where, Revan?? You're not even from this place, and I-... I'm not even sure who I am or when I am or even where we are for that matter..."

"To find the man I am looking for... I have an idea where to look first."

"And where is that??"

"I saw a small village not far away from here just as my spacecraft crashed to the earth. The tracking beacon pointed in that direction, at least just before I crashed. Should not be too far to get there..."

Taking their leave, the two of them then left the spacecraft behind them as they walked for not more than 30 minutes before they eventually came before a small town laying just beside a great river. Entering through what seemed to be the front entrance, the two of them could not spot many people around as they passed through the rather small and isolated village. As they stopped by a water-well in the middle of town, some people gathered around asking who the two strangers were and what they were doing this far out from the "Great King's realm," as they called it. Questions about their unusual style of cloths and way of speaking also seemed to be on the tongues of the curious villagers. Answering their many questions, Revan then finally sought to get some answers of his own as he started asking if any of the villagers had seen someone passing by here not long ago, looking a lot like the two of them. It didn't seem however, that any of those living in this peaceful town had any ideas of who this person Revan was looking for could be or if he had passed by recently. That was until an elderly man sitting on what seemed to be a small piece of wood not too far away from where they stood, spoke out, having been listening in on the conversation taking place. Walking over to him, both Revan and Menma instantly knew that if anyone in this village would have any answers, it would have to be him.

"I hear you are looking for someone?"

Addressing the two of them, the old wise man seemed to be intrigued by their sudden appearance.

"That is correct. It's not just anyone either, but this man we are looking for is quite dangerous and needs to be dealt with as fast as possible before he can do any harm around here. His name is Demise, and he is a Dark Lord of the Sith."

"A Dark Lord of the Sith you say? Hmm, I see... Well, I think I saw someone like that heading over to Death Mountain, just an hour ago and he seemed to be in a hurry. I don't know about this Sith thing though, but his appearance seemed quite dark indeed, hmm..."

"Wait, Demise?? Death Mountain??"

"For now, just let me do the talking Menma."

Interrupting the conversation, Menma didn't seem to understand much of where on earth the two of them currently were or exactly who this person that Revan was chasing could be, but, whatever the answers to those questions might have been, he surely wanted to know more.

"So Death Mountain you said, wise one??"

"Yes... It's a rather unpleasant place filled with narrow roads, slippery edges, dangerous slopes and vicious death-traps all over the place... I could show you how to safely navigate through there I suppose, as it seemed like that curious fellow were headed to the Great Sea over to the South, on the other side of the mountain, however-..."

"Great, your help would be much appreciated, and we will-..."

"But before I do, there's something I must ask of you, something I fear only individuals like yourselves can help us with..."

"What, what is it old man??"

"Just let me take care of this Menma... You will help us get through Death Mountain."

Holding his right index finger up in the air, Revan then slowly moved it from one side to the other in front of the old man, but to his surprise, the old man just looked at him with a confused expression on his face.

"What are you doing that for?? Yes, I will help you out, after you do me, or this village, this one favor."

Putting his hand down, whatever Revan tried to do, did not seem to work as he just remained silent for a few seconds before confirming what he thought.

"Seems like the Force is indeed weak out here, hmm..."

"Of course we will help you guys out, old man, you have my word!"

Beaming of confidence, Menma reached his hand out and showed the elderly man his thumb, before pointing it as his chest, forming a big grin on his face.

"Ahh I'm glad, well you see... There's this troubled man who has been harassing our village from time to time, stealing our horses, butchering our pigs and letting our bulls out of their fences... I don't know why he's doing this but someone has to stop him before things get out of hands. Would you guys take care of this? I'm certain only a talking to should be enough to handle things, but I'm not too sure if he will comply that easily... In the end, I would have him brought back here, most definitely still very much alive though, but a little beating wouldn't be too out of hand either I guess."

"Geez, well I guess we have no choice then. A favor for a favor, I guess that is only fair. My name is Revan, and this is Menma."

"Nice to meet you two, my name is Bard, the elderly wise man of the this village."

"I see. Well then..."

Considering the matter for a brief second, Revan then made up his mind as he continued.

"So where can we find this troublesome fellow??"

Giving them the direction to where the man used to set up his camps, both Revan and Menma were entrusted with each their horse to shorten the length of the troublesome task. Not long after, the two of them stopped by the outskirt of a vast forest before them, and beyond it, a high hill laid waiting for them. As they both dismounted, Revan spoke his mind, as it seemed like he had a thing or two to talk about.

"Menma... I know you just want to help, but I fear that if I don't tell you everything I know, you might be in for more than you signed up for. Considering you haven't even asked a single question of who this person I'm chasing is except for pondering on his name, I think it might be a good idea to tell you more about it. I am certain you'd like to know."

Sitting down on some rocks, Revan then continued.

"I come from a place far, far away from here, a place where civilization and technology have progressed far more than it has in this place. I wouldn't even know where to begin explaining as this place really is like jumping ages back in time. That is also why the Force is so weak here, why everyone seems so... Plain, compared to where I come from."

Pausing for a bit, Revan pondered on where to begin explaining as he looked at Menma who continued to keep his cool.

"For as long as time remember, there has always been war. On one side the Jedi, on the other, the Sith. Both sides being able to wield and manipulate something called the 'Force,' something which exists in all of us, and that with training, everyone can utilize..."

"Chakra..."

Having remained silent for a while, Menma suddenly spoke out, as if something had seemed to trigger in his memory.

"Chakra??"

"Yes... I'm not really sure why I remember that, but it's a concept that is basically the same... I-... With chakra, everyone is able to utilize certain techniques and connect with each other, but, I'm not sure if I'm able to do so or not, or if I ever... I don't even know why I remembered that, please go on."

Urging Revan to continue explaining, Menma remained silent for a while.

"Right... The Force allows us to communicate with each other, to utilize powers for good, or for evil. It allows us to do things like this..."

Closing his eyes, Revan then started to focus as the rock Menma was sitting on suddenly started to float in the air, just barely half a meter above the ground. Struggling to keep his balance, both Menma and the rock was then put back down on the ground again.

"And it also allows us to do many other things as well, but like I've come to understand, the connection to the force is rather weak out here, and therefore, I'm barely able to do anything with it, like the Mind Trick I tried on the old man back in the village earlier, it basically had no effect. It's kind of sad really, but I guess it is as expected..."

"So you're able to push and pull objects with the Force for example?"

"Yes, things like that. It can be a gentle touch or it can be a powerful burst of energy. It's all about the control and the handling of the wielders of the Force..."

"For some reason, being able to push and pull objects away from you and towards you, seems very familiar, I just... I just can't seem to remember what though or where I am suppose to... Anyways, please go on."

"The man I'm hunting, he's the last remaining Dark Lord of the Sith and his name is Darth Demise. My old Master Marek and I were suppose to take him out and bring deserving peace to the galaxy, but my Master he... He was killed in the attempt and Darth Demise escaped to this planet in the outer realms, out of our solar system. I don't know why he came here, but he's definitely up to something and he has to be stopped once and for all, at any cost. Master Hylia entrusted me with this task, and if I am to fail here, then... Then I fear we might be further away from peace than we ever have been... The era of the Jedi and the Sith is coming to an end, and I can only hope I'll be able to succeed. I suppose you wouldn't be able to fully understand this ordeal, but the Sith are users of the Dark Side of the Force, twisting and bending minds to do their bidding. Don't ever let them trick you, never let them tempt you to give in to any anger you might feel, or I am afraid the worst might happen as anyone, even I, can fall to their desires..."

"Peace... So that is your goal, your dream? Peace... The Key to Peace... Lies in dealing with this man??"

"In one way yes, but peace, peace is so much more than just dealing with your opposition, dealing with the evil in the world. People and beings alike needs to fully understand each other for peace to ever happen..."

"!! Those words?!"

"What??"

"I know I've heard those exact words some place before, I... Damn it, why can't I remember anything else than just some small fragments??"

Apparently upset, Menma didn't seem to know what to do about the situation.

"Okay, let me take another look at you, to see if there is something I can do... Normally, I would have been able to read into your mind, but due to the Force being so weak out here, I'm very limited on what I'm able to do. Let's see now, just close your eyes."

Laying his hand on Menma's head, Revan tried to read into his mind, but once again, it was to no vain as he could no get to the bottom of why he was suffering of some sort of amnesia.

"It can't be helped... It seems like we will have to give it some time to see if your memory will return by itself, however, I am curious enough to find out more about you though as you are definitely not from this place, from this time, that is for sure. If anything, you might have jumped through some sort of a portal transporting you to this place from another planet, similar to the lightspeed I had to wrap through to get here. Though, it might as well have been a Link through Time that brought you here somehow. Our meeting is more than just destiny, I'm at least able to sense that, but I don't know exactly what it is that you are supposed to do here or why we have met like this, hmm..."

"Well then, I suppose the only thing we can do is to keep going forward then, right?? You've already convinced me, I will follow you and help you out any way I can, that's the least I can do."

Standing up to his feet, Menma was more than ready to continue on the journey.

"I guess so. Good to hear Menma, but remember that you'll have to be careful as the moment you start walking this path, this dangerous road ahead of us, there will be no turning back once we get to a certain point."

Standing up as well, Revan then turned around as he went over to his horse, readying to mount it, when Menma suddenly called out for him, pointing at his back.

"The sword on your back, why is it glowing with a bright light??"

"What??!"

Immediately realizing what he meant, Revan drew the mysterious sword as he held it up in the air between them. Just as he did however, the sword stopped glowing as the blue light surrounding it retracted into the sword.

"Strange... It is only suppose to glow like that when the Dark Side is near... I guess it must be some sort of malfunction or something after the crash perhaps..."

"That sword... It is nothing like the other weapon you were wielding previously, is it??"

"Oh this? No, what you saw before was a lightsaber, however, the crash must have broken its energy-core, so this right here will be my last resort dealing with Demise. It may look like an ordinary sword from the past, however, it is far from being just that. It's able to go toe to toe with the lightsabers themselves, and its powers are still quite mysterious and strange, even to me. It should even be able to take in the Force to further strengthen its might, but as of now, its current might alone will have to settle until I can get a better grasp of it. After all, I still have to test it out in battle."

"So what is it called??"

"It is called the Blade of Evil's Bane, the legendary Goddess Sword, or, that is the name I've currently come up with. You see, I named it after my first teacher, Master Hylia. She might not look like much, but she really is like a Goddess of the Force, perhaps even the strongest female Jedi there ever was with a lightsaber. The sword answers only to one Master, its creator, and anyone else trying to wield it will not be able to carry it in their hands. I've had my DNA, part of my very own soul imprinted in it, and that is why only I can wield it. I would have you try to wield it, but I guess that would be pointless as you would only drop it to the ground. I have a theory that maybe if I someday have some offspring of my own, they might be able to wield it as well, but it is still a little too soon to be theorizing about such things yet."

"The Goddess Sword huh... Only obedient to its one Master... If I was to name it, I would have named it... Aha! The Master Sword!"

Shouting the name out, Menma seemed to be confident about his choice.

"The Master Sword?? Revan, the wielder of the Master Sword... That is kind of catchy, isn't it? Heh, not bad, perhaps that is a more fitting name than the one I came up with? I tell you what, if we can deal with Demise once and for all, I might let you name the sword just that. Only if I'm convinced of your resolve that is! Come, let's get on with our task."

Mounting the horse, Revan was already more than ready to get this over with. After all, he really had a more urging matter that he had to put his focus on. Dealing with Demise. Entering the dark and silent forest, the two of them were soon to be met with more imminent danger than they had bargained for. In the shadows of the forest, a foul-looking creatures were lurking, awaiting the two of them to get closer, and noticing its presence, Revan quietly drew his sword in anticipation of what to come as he dismounted his horse. Seeing this, Menma quickly did the same.

"Get behind me Menma, something is lurking in the darkness of this forest, something evil."

Having his Master Sword in front of himself, the sword was already glowing in the exact same light as before as the two of them could hear rustling in the trees around them.

"Could it be Demise himself?"

"Revan, watch out from above!!"


Spotting the incoming creature, Revan quickly pushed Menma and the horses aside as a huge spider came crashing to the ground, snaring and lashing out at Revan with its hairy legs. Dodging to the side, Revan quickly slashed his sword at its feet, forcing it down to the ground as he jumped up in the air, piercing the sword through the spiders back as he came down on it from above. A loud growl was heard as the spider's death-rattle continued for several seconds before it finally died quietly.

"What the hell was that?!"

Having got back up to his feet, Menma had gone to get the horses as he had caught up to Revan who withdrew the sword from the spider's back, jumping down to the ground again as he did. Holstering the sword on his back after wiping the blood away, Revan quickly addressed Menma while the situation was still under control. The sword on the other hand, had already stopped glowing.

"We should get out of here as fast as we can. Walking through this dark forest was a bad idea. We should head around it after this task is completed. Let's keep going Menma..."

"Hang on a minute Revan, there's something here..."

Spotting something to the side behind a tree, Menma was met with a surprising view.

"Hey, it's a chest!"

"Leave it be Menma, it's probably nothing in it."

"Let's see about that..."


Opening the chest, Menma was almost excited as he took a peek down in the chest, but as soon as he did, he could not spot a single item in it as the atmosphere and the excitement of opening it quickly disappeared... At first.

"Wait, there is nothing here?! Damn what a bum... Oh wait, here's something!!"

Noticing a little bag lying down there in one of its corners, Menma grabbed a hold onto it as a large purple-gemmed stone came to view from inside it. Holding it up in the air, Menma seemed to have found the treasure of his life.


"That's probably not worth anything special, just leave it be Menma..."

"But... It might be useful, or at least worth something for later..."

"Geez, do as you please, we have to get moving."

"Hmm, there's a note down here as well, let's see... 'You just found a purple rupee, it's worth the total of 50!' Well, I guess we can use it to something later then..."

"Let's just go!"

Walking over to him, Revan then grabbed a hold onto the rein of his horse as he quickly mounted it, about the take off.

"You're just mad I found it first, aren't you?"

A big grin had formed on Menma's face, but Revan couldn't frankly care less as he lead the way through and eventually out of the deep forest. Coming before a hill, the two of them traveled some further up the high hills in front of them as the two of them finally came across what seemed to be an outlaw-camp. Dismounting their horses, the two of them were approached by three foul-looking men, and just as they were, Revan leaned over to Menma, telling him to lend him his ear for a second.

"So he wasn't working alone after all it seem, just as I had expected."

"Yeah, apparently not, huh... This kid is going to pay for all the trouble he has caused us... Let's end this quick and bring him back to the old man."

They had finally arrived at their destination, but what exactly could these trouble-makers of a gang do against a Jedi Master and his companion??

~ End of Chapter 2 ~




Author's Note:

I don't have much to say this time around, so I'll keep it very brief. I've decided to keep the release dates between the chapters separate, meaning that I'll release chapter 3 next time I get home again in two week's time around the 7th of November. As for this chapter itself, I hope as many as possible liked it, although I'm not entirely sure how I felt about it personally in the end. In fact, this is the longest chapter of all the ones I've written so far for this work, and it will probably end up as the biggest one of them all. Anyways, please leave a comment and all that! Would gladly appreciate it.

 

Germanicus

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Nice job with the second chapter Mic. It's late, so I don't have many comments on the top of my head. Revan certainty behaves like a jedi. A shame his mind trick didn't work;probably just karma for not.properly following the Prime Directive. XD

So, his mysterious companion enjoys ramen, knows about chakra, and will be called Menma, eh? Have a little hunch about who our little amnesiac is, but I'll hold myself back until later chapters, haha.

I find this interesting, and I very much enjoy seeing what you've done with the narrative perspective. Methinks it suits you. Let me know when you roll out the next one and I'll read it too.
 

Michael92

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Nice job with the second chapter Mic. It's late, so I don't have many comments on the top of my head. Revan certainty behaves like a jedi. A shame his mind trick didn't work;probably just karma for not.properly following the Prime Directive. XD

So, his mysterious companion enjoys ramen, knows about chakra, and will be called Menma, eh? Have a little hunch about who our little amnesiac is, but I'll hold myself back until later chapters, haha.

I find this interesting, and I very much enjoy seeing what you've done with the narrative perspective. Methinks it suits you. Let me know when you roll out the next one and I'll read it too.
Awesome Ryan is awesome, haha :p I do wonder though if you are rather lenient on me when it comes to the actual writing itself as it's not as illuminating as Uzu's stories or breath-taking like yours. Then again, I already know of my own limitations, so I guess the main difference is the level of our overall English and basic grammar if any.

Well like I stated last chapter, it kind of gets less star wars from this point onward, but I still have to throw in a bone every now and then. And speaking of bones, the next chapter will be the first to throw one towards my past Naruto series, but even so it should be pretty understandable.

It's only the beginning though as the style I'll be doing for my next project will differ a bit (or a lot actually). Glad you seemed to enjoy it and thanks for the review. Seems like going for shorter chapters with this work was a good thing.
Will do!
 

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Awesome Ryan is awesome, haha :p I do wonder though if you are rather lenient on me when it comes to the actual writing itself as it's not as illuminating as Uzu's stories or breath-taking like yours. Then again, I already know of my own limitations, so I guess the main difference is the level of our overall English and basic grammar if any.

Well like I stated last chapter, it kind of gets less star wars from this point onward, but I still have to throw in a bone every now and then. And speaking of bones, the next chapter will be the first to throw one towards my past Naruto series, but even so it should be pretty understandable.

It's only the beginning though as the style I'll be doing for my next project will differ a bit (or a lot actually). Glad you seemed to enjoy it and thanks for the review. Seems like going for shorter chapters with this work was a good thing.
Will do!
Oh, I feel that your grammar for the most part is fine. Sure, there are some stages where I could meticulously go through the passage and point out some spots that are a bit rough around the edges, but for the most part this is good. The fact that English isn't your first language makes it very good, Mic. Truly, some of your descriptions are just a tad bit basic for me, and compared to Uzu's, they don't quite satisfy me as part of painting the full, detail rich environments that I enjoy seeing, but that's more personal taste involved than actual critique of your writing objectively. You're fine. Just keep working hard like you always do and the work will reflect it well.

You compliment me too much. Xp
Nothing breath taking about my ramblings mussing up a perfectly fine blank page on the internet. XD
 

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I enjoyed the chapter as usual but I am having a hard time getting used to the fact that this time around your chapters are so short. That's not a complaint against your writing. I just love to read, I never want any story to end once I get involved in it. I like the style, you did a better job with it this time. Last time I had to reread a couple of times to get used to the style change. I enjoyed it much more this time. Germanicus is right that you do very well for someone whose first language is not English. The rest will come with time.

I too sometimes find the descriptiveness lacking sometimes but that could be a personal preference. I have been told that I'm too descriptive sometimes and that I take too long to write or say something that could be said or written with fewer words. Menma huh? I liked that. I know who it is but I don't want to say too much about it because I don't want to spoil it for any new readers you might get. As much as I like Star Wars, and am looking forward to the new set of movies, I'm hoping the next chapter is more Naruto like, but that could be because it's ending and I will be sorry to see it go. I would like to have it prolonged however I can get it.

I guess the author's note was the reason I thought you might not have been as into this story as others you have written, but since it is shorter there is less to explain. I'm looking forward to the next part. Let me know when you post it.
 

Michael92

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Damn you people gives me a challenge replying to all this on my phone, haha xP Can't say I don't love it though, and I'll try my best to reply as properly as I can. Okay, Ryan first...

Oh, I feel that your grammar for the most part is fine. Sure, there are some stages where I could meticulously go through the passage and point out some spots that are a bit rough around the edges, but for the most part this is good. The fact that English isn't your first language makes it very good, Mic. Truly, some of your descriptions are just a tad bit basic for me, and compared to Uzu's, they don't quite satisfy me as part of painting the full, detail rich environments that I enjoy seeing, but that's more personal taste involved than actual critique of your writing objectively. You're fine. Just keep working hard like you always do and the work will reflect it well.

You compliment me too much. Xp
Nothing breath taking about my ramblings mussing up a perfectly fine blank page on the internet. XD
I see and I guess I understand. Somehow though, I can't help but feel that my description was better in some of my previous work (although not entirely more advanced at it I must add, at least not to the super advanced standards I know you guys are capable of). In the end though, considering how much mixed the average standards on here are (even amongst some English writers), I guess I can't exactly complain or lament my own ability too much either :p

As for the comparison to my previous work that I mentioned above, I guess the main factor to why I feel this way is because this story right here is shorter than my usual bunch, and therefore it feels like I can't linger too much about to give out the extra details (I can't help but feel that this story doesn't have too much to offer and that it would only suffer if expanded too much more than necessary). That and the fact that driving the story forward with dialogues has always been my strongest card in a sense. I guess you could say that the reason to why my Series Finale for TLSoK became so outrageous long, was because I tried to expand on the overall feeling that the story had to give (especially the emotions of the characters, their surrounding, etc). Perhaps it even became too much in the end, but it still felt like a kick in the right direction. All the time I spent with it made me feel more connected and more engaged towards making it the best story I ever could have produced. As for this tale, I can't seem to obtain the same effect being that I got so little time with it (length wise). At the end of the day though, I like to look more at this story as an expansion to my other works than a standalone project. And thus, I guess I aimed more on making the chemistry between the characters match than spending too much time explaining just what everything looks like. As for description in general, I often seem to leave a lot up to the readers imagination to fill in the rest at times, and I'm not sure whether that's a good idea or not. Haha, I'm the one who has rambled long enough already. The big problem is basically the popularity of this section, not your creative mind Ryan xD ;D

Oh and another thing, discussing different things like this is probably a good thing to better separate our different qualities and to find the best way for us to combine them for our collaboration work.

I enjoyed the chapter as usual but I am having a hard time getting used to the fact that this time around your chapters are so short. That's not a complaint against your writing. I just love to read, I never want any story to end once I get involved in it. I like the style, you did a better job with it this time. Last time I had to reread a couple of times to get used to the style change. I enjoyed it much more this time. Germanicus is right that you do very well for someone whose first language is not English. The rest will come with time.

I too sometimes find the descriptiveness lacking sometimes but that could be a personal preference. I have been told that I'm too descriptive sometimes and that I take too long to write or say something that could be said or written with fewer words. Menma huh? I liked that. I know who it is but I don't want to say too much about it because I don't want to spoil it for any new readers you might get. As much as I like Star Wars, and am looking forward to the new set of movies, I'm hoping the next chapter is more Naruto like, but that could be because it's ending and I will be sorry to see it go. I would like to have it prolonged however I can get it.

I guess the author's note was the reason I thought you might not have been as into this story as others you have written, but since it is shorter there is less to explain. I'm looking forward to the next part. Let me know when you post it.
Haha I know you would say that, but truth been told, it's not as much the chapters' length than it is the time between each releases that is the problem. I actually prefer to write at this length, and each of these releases average most of my previous releases prior to TLSOK 's Legacy (with some notable exceptions in Returns of course). The thing about the Series Finale was basically that I wrote it as one big project and therefor had a hard time separating it into different chapters. I guess my stubbornness was the biggest obstacle in not splitting it up in even more parts than just the 6 (with each of them barely fitting into the threads they were made into due to their lenghts). Do not mistake me though, because I do like to make each chapter I write have a better sense of commitment towards making them more rememberable than what they tend to get when they are too short. The main reason to why I went with 6 chapters instead of 3 with this work was due to the fact that I wanted this story to be more approachable to anyone rather than just my older readers. That, and also the fact that this story is basically just one long ride towards the finish line, and that I feared that the overall feeling to them would feel more like a; "then they did this, then they went there" type of deal than what I wanted it to be (I was even considering whether this story actually brought an interesting story to the table at all or if it just felt like a transportation from a to b), so I felt I had to do it this way to avoid making it lose its appeal. I had to make it more interesting, and that is why I decided to try and spice things up a bit, and indeed extending some of the scenes with more dialogues and more joking around that I had planned for (as seen in this chapter when they travel through the forest and face off with that spider. The original script had just one sentence describing that they went through a forest and nothing more happened, haha xP And that is only one example of many really). But yeah, I do understand you and I'm not taking it bad at really, how could I??

Thanks Trea. Even though I feel like the story aspect was better in the first chapter, I still think the execution and the overall feel to this one was better. And yeah I too like this style, even better than anyone I've used before. However, I still think that this is only the beginning for me when it comes to finding the perfect style really. I already mentioned before that I'm going for this "one style per project" type of deal from now on earlier. Oh, thank you for agreeing with him I guess ^__^=)

Well they do say that easy is often better, but it's more about the actual description aspect than it is the depth of my wording. I tend to jump forward with my story rather fast compared to others who spend time giving even more life to each scene they write. I suppose I too makes some exceptions to this, but in the end it's always been mangas that have inspired me to write rather than published books. Might be a connection there. Sometimes it's good to move the story forward at a fast pace, other times not so much. I guess it can't be helped.

Oh, I just remembered something... The biggest reason to why I decided to go with this format of having shorter chapters, was probably because when I do bigger chapter, people tend to leave a lot out of the discussion, things that I'd rather talk about. By giving them shorter chapters, I also give them a little less to focus on, making it easier for them to review each parts without leaving something out of it.

Both you and Ryan are on to who Menma is, huh? :rolleyes: Well, I guess the first big clue will be revealed next time, especially for you Trea. Like I told Ryan above in my previous post, there will be a kick-back towards the "Naruto" aspects of this story next time. A huge one at it as well, especially towards my past Series. You will see soon enough, so you got nothing to worry about ; ) So yeah, more Naruto feel to it from next chapter until the end indeed.

Well yeah. Already gave you a more in-depth explanation towards this part in my VM to you, so I won't be repeating much of it here. And no, why would I take any offense towards that? The truth is that at the end of the day, this story is probably my weakest card in the entire Master Timeline (I even liked my Zelda One-Shot a lot better than this work really). Well I've talked for long enough by now. In case you are reading this as well Ryan, feel free to check out what I had to say about my "passion" for writing this work in my latest VM to Trea. And yes Trea, I'll of course notify you! ;)

Side note: Damn replying on the phone like this takes forever x__x xD I already spent an hour writing this, lmao.
 

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Its getting interesting. That guy Menma is suspicious o__o
Glad you think so because things really start to heat up next time ;)
Haha, that's the point really, but there's still a lot in store for next time... Or in fact, next weekend. I initially thought I would keep the releases separate, but after thinking twice about it I've come to the conclusion that I'll be releasing 3-6 next weekend and just get over and done with it. I'm thinking chapter 3 om Thursday, 4 on Friday, 5 on Saturday and the final one on Sunday. Thanks for reading ^_^
 

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Awesome chapter! Likes Ramen? Knows about chakra? And also knows the description of what i think is related to Shinra Tensei and Banshou Tein. I guess its kinda obvious who Menma is xD.
An 11/10 chapter imo. I'm really looking forward to the next one ^^.
 

Maina Deah

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Glad you think so because things really start to heat up next time ;)
Haha, that's the point really, but there's still a lot in store for next time... Or in fact, next weekend. I initially thought I would keep the releases separate, but after thinking twice about it I've come to the conclusion that I'll be releasing 3-6 next weekend and just get over and done with it. I'm thinking chapter 3 om Thursday, 4 on Friday, 5 on Saturday and the final one on Sunday. Thanks for reading ^_^
Seems you're excited on your fanfic that you want to finish it and get over with it :p I feel the same sometimes..
 

Michael92

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Awesome chapter! Likes Ramen? Knows about chakra? And also knows the description of what i think is related to Shinra Tensei and Banshou Tein. I guess its kinda obvious who Menma is xD.
An 11/10 chapter imo. I'm really looking forward to the next one ^^.

Arigato! =) And yes!! You're the first to tie those connections together (ST & BT) =p
Well are you sure about that?? What I can say is that Menma is indeed from the Naruto-verse (he's a character from my The Legendary Sage of Konoha Series in fact, who was sent back in time for a reason he still can't remember properly).
Who he is for sure won't be revealed before the end of this tale, but I assure you that there's a lot of clues to be dropped in the coming chapters. 11/10?? xD Now you're pushing it, haha. Despite the fact that I would have to disagree (hardly my best release), I would have to say thanks nonetheless ^^
The next one will mark the midway point and after that, this story's pace will really pick itself up. The remaining chapters to be released this weekend ;) Oh, and good to see you leaving a more elaborated comment this time around, really appreciate it!

Seems you're excited on your fanfic that you want to finish it and get over with it :p I feel the same sometimes..
Well yes indeed, I'm kind of in a hurry you see. Still got three other projects plus a collaboration work (or two) coming up this year and only got about two months to accomplish that, haha. But yeah, right now I'm kind of excited ;)
 
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Jinrou

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Arigato! =) And yes!! You're the first to tie those connections together (ST & BT) =p
Well are you sure about that?? What I can say is that Menma is indeed from the Naruto-verse (he's a character from my The Legendary Sage of Konoha Series in fact, who was sent back in time for a reason he still can't remember properly).
Who he is for sure won't be revealed before the end of this tale, but I assure you that there's a lot of clues to be dropped in the coming chapters. 11/10?? xD Now you're pushing it, haha. Despite the fact that I would have to disagree (hardly my best release), I would have to say thanks nonetheless ^^
The next one will mark the midway point and after that, this story's pace will really pick itself up. The remaining chapters to be released this weekend ;) Oh, and good to see you leaving a more elaborated comment this time around, really appreciate it!
That's because i always shy away since your regular reviewers seem to be literature experts xD. I couldn't resist the urge to say something this time though. xD
 

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That's because i always shy away since your regular reviewers seem to be literature experts xD. I couldn't resist the urge to say something this time though. xD
I don't really have that many regular readers, not enough to justify what you just said, haha :p But yeah, this way is indeed more exciting and rememberable for me to read than just a short rep note (appreciate that as well ^^) ;)
 

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For Revean to question why he and Naruto were destined to meet displays that he is quite perceptive or perhaps it’s something else. It’s funny though how no matter how much they both try to help each other, it seems to end in failure. Whoa, what a name Revan decided to give Naruto or should I say Menma and the fact that he actually liked it! XD Well the sudden attack was unexpected as I thought Revan would soon excuse himself and resume his search. Wow, for Revan’s lightsaber to malfunction at a time like this! So it was just a powerful reaction when they touched rather than an attack from some other party lol It was cool for Revan to confide in Naruto aka Menma about his as a Jedi and vice versa. I’ve noticed that as “Menma” and Revan continue on their journey the more the bond between them grows :) So you had to incorporate the number one animal I fear the most-spiders! I wonder how that treasure they found will come into use. So they found the culprit(s), thus things are beginning to heat up ^^ I lol at the treasure box song selections you chose and yes even though I don’t play Zelda, I recognized it due to my brother who is infatuated with the game series. Yeah, this chapter did seem much more lengthy than the first and thanks for the heads up on the lengths for the remaining chapters-great second chapter bro btw! ;)
 

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For Revan to question why he and Naruto were destined to meet displays that he is quite perceptive or perhaps it’s something else. It’s funny though how no matter how much they both try to help each other, it seems to end in failure. Whoa, what a name Revan decided to give Naruto or should I say Menma and the fact that he actually liked it! XD Well the sudden attack was unexpected as I thought Revan would soon excuse himself and resume his search. Wow, for Revan’s lightsaber to malfunction at a time like this! So it was just a powerful reaction when they touched rather than an attack from some other party lol It was cool for Revan to confide in Naruto aka Menma about his as a Jedi and vice versa. I’ve noticed that as “Menma” and Revan continue on their journey the more the bond between them grows :) So you had to incorporate the number one animal I fear the most-spiders! I wonder how that treasure they found will come into use. So they found the culprit(s), thus things are beginning to heat up ^^ I lol at the treasure box song selections you chose and yes even though I don’t play Zelda, I recognized it due to my brother who is infatuated with the game series. Yeah, this chapter did seem much more lengthy than the first and thanks for the heads up on the lengths for the remaining chapters-great second chapter bro btw! ;)
Haha, glad you liked it :p To see you review all of these at once really got me piled up now so I'll try to be quick xP

For me, this whole chapter was more of a build-up and plot-defining than anything else as I had to spend some time making the characters acquainted with each other.
If there was one thing I missed with this Series, it was the pointing out of details from my readers. At this point, you seem to be getting the most of them which is good ;) I'll head to the next one.
 
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Kuroi Honoo

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Haha, glad you liked it :p To see you review all of these at once really got me piled up now so I'll try to be quick xP

For me, this whole chapter was more of a build-up and plot-defining than anything else as I had to spend some time making the characters acquainted with each other.
If there was one thing I missed with this Series, it was the pointing out of details from my readers. At this point, you seem to be getting the most of them which is good ;) I'll head to the next one.
And I think that character development is always welcomed so much that it’s done right and you did a great job ;)

Glad to hear that I still have it-catching those high points =D And thanks ^^
 
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