The cursed faith(line of hatred)Fan Fiction

Don Nizzy

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THE CURSED FAITH(LINE OF HATRED)

1.Nagashi hyuga:Born to the branch family in the hyuga clan his the only son of deji and hirana hyuga his mother died at birth due to over bleeding which left his father devasted and love nagashi even more as he felt he was a living monument of hirana. When he was 8 the time came for nagashi to be placed with the seal given to the branch family in the hyuga clan ,but his father due to the overwhelming love for him and his mother hirana decided to help nagashi escape from the village but was caught and killed secretly by some hyuga head famiy members ,as they reached to grab nagashi ,nagashi suddenly teleported away and with his dying breath he breathed a sign of relief that the teleportation seal he placed on nagashi worked and he was teleported to the hidden rain village to aoshi natashi warehouse his father friend whom he planned to stay and settle with through the period of nagashi adolescence and youth.

2.Aoshi natashi-deji hyuga best friend who was only one eye sighted due to injuries from battle and also a powerful weilder of the sharigan.

3.Deji hyuga-father of nagashi and husband to hirana died trying to rescue his son from being placed with the curse seal.

4.hirana hyuga- wife to deji and mother to nagashii died at child birth from over bleeding.

5.Gokuri hyuga-Head of hyuga clan who officially declared a search for nagashi and put the price of 1000000 yen on his head.


Note-this is just a synopsis and break down of the main characters more will be added in the next edition watch out for

15 years later(TO BE RELEASED BEFORE TUESDAY)
AOSHI DIES



CHAPTER 1 CURSED FAITH(LINE OF HATRED)
AOSHI DIES

FIFTEEN YEARS FROM THE DEATH OF HIS FATHER NAGASHI IS NOW 23 AND HIS HOPES ARE LOOOKING BRIGHTER THAN EVER TILL HIS DYING SENSEI CALLES HIM TO HIS DEATH BED TO HEAR HIS DYING WORDS

Aoshi:james come near me I have something to tell u come now

Nagashi:what is the problem sensei im hear what is it

Aoshi(gasps for breath)james you have been living a lie all you life

Nagashi :senseiii

Aoshi:Your name is nagashi hyuga and am not your father you must listen
carfelly to me.

Nagashi:no dad don’t say such things

Aoshi:listen to me u bastard I am not your father u mistake me for a dead man.

Nagashi:what……………….

Aoshi:You are from the hyuga clan the clan hidden in the leaves and your mother and father fought for you to be alive today

AOSHI REMEMBERS HIS TALK WITH DEJI 2 DAYS PRIOR TO THE FOILED ESCAPE.

Deji:we have revised the scenario a thousand times and I have made provisions for the teleportation seal to be carried out if necessary.

Aoshi:that would mean you would have been exposed hopefully we wont come to that.

Deji:Aoshi promise me that if I die….. that …that …u will take nagashi as your own.

Aoshi:nonsense

Deji:just promise me I can bear the thought of dying and abandoning my son to such cruel faith hirana wouldn’t have wanted that.

Aoshi:Fine I promise but nothing aint gonna happen to you allright

Deji:Alright

BACK TO THE PRESENT
Aoshi:That is how that dreaded came that you lost your father and I lost a friend

Nagashi:…………………..sobs ….sobs

Aoshi:Nonsense only foolish men weep (coughs blood and gasps for health)you are to go to otakagure there you will find.

Nagashi:find what sensei

Aoshi:I told you don’t call me that a drunkard dying on his sick bed doesn,t deserve to be sensei.. there you will find kishi the blacksmith and swordsman.

Nagashi’’’……………………

Aoshi:Aoshi:He will tell you how to use the sharigan and give you a scroll which was given to me by your father to give you when you come of age.

Nagashi:What the only sharigan I know is your which got from battling a member…

Aoshi:Yes a member of the uchicha clan he gave me the eyes after striking my last one down and also as a reward for beating him.

Nagashi: Alwesome sensei you rock .

Aoshi:{Reaches over to nagashi and slaps him}

Nagashi:Ouch…what did you do that for.

Aoshi:I told you not to call me that if you cant obey simple instructions how are you gonna survived in this cursed world where ur wanted.

Nagashi:Wanted sensei for what ,which offense did I commit?

Aoshi:None of your will,gokuri the head of you clan(hyuga)but a bounty on your head for 1000000 yen for who so ever kills or find you.

Nagashi:what ,,,what did I do to him.

Aoshi:He is the leader of the clan and also from the head family of the hyuga clan and you are from the branch when each branch members come of age there are given a curse seal to restrict their powers and to make sure when they die the bykugan is sealed away.

Nagashi:………… what wickedness,, but why?

Aoshi:You are being searched for because it is a disgrace on the path of the head family for allowing a branch family to live without the curse.

Nagashi::hmmmmmmmmm

Aoshi:Yes I know but that is the cursed faith of the branch family which ur father my friend happily surrendered to free you for.

Nagashi:sobs……. I swear on my name nagashi given to me by my father I will kill gokuri and free my clan from the dreaded faith.

Aoshi(coughs blood heavily near the point of death)Quickly transplant the sharigan to your eyes before I die and implant it in your right eye.

Nagashi :But sensei

Aoshi:No buts now

Nagashi:Yes sensei


Transplant of sharigan done and nagashi now has the byakugan and sharigan.
Aoshi:{Aoshi last words}Always remember to have a pure heart and never be filled with revenge remember what I taught you and make you of the knowledge.
Nagashi :sobs….yes sensei

Aoshi:Clean your tears and go meet kishi the black smith in otakagure he has a scroll waiting for you there now go.

Nagashi:Yes sensei

(Aoshi dies and the young nagashi begins a life journey which we lead him to the truth now he has the sharigan and byakugan and with that comes potential)

WATCH OUT FOR THE NEXT CHAPTER TITLED MEETING KISHI
 
Last edited:

Sonne

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I didn't even read it.
It's messy.
Poor Written.
Grammar And Punctuation practically don't exist.
Put more time into your FanFiction, it is not something you can write and release in 30 minutes.
 

WastedMonkey

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The cursed faith(line of hatred)
THE CURSED FAITH(LINE OF HATRED)
1.Nagashi hyuga:Born to the branch family in the hyuga clan his the only son of deji and hirana hyuga his mother died at birth due to over bleeding which left his father devasted and love nagashi even more as he felt he was a living monument of hirana. When he was 8 the time came for nagashi to be placed with the seal given to the branch family in the hyuga clan ,but his father due to the overwhelming love for him and his mother hirana decided to help nagashi escape from the village but was caught and killed secretly by some hyuga head famiy members ,as they reached to grab nagashi ,nagashi suddenly teleported away and with his dying breath he breathed a sign of relief that the teleportation seal he placed on nagashi worked and he was teleported to the hidden rain village to aoshi natashi warehouse his father friend whom he planned to stay and settle with through the period of nagashi adolescence and youth.

2.Aoshi natashi-deji hyuga best friend who was only one eye sighted due to injuries from battle and also a powerful weilder of the sharigan.

3.Deji hyuga-father of nagashi and husband to hirana died trying to rescue his son from being placed with the curse seal.

4.hirana hyuga- wife to deji and mother to nagashii died at child birth from over bleeding.

5.Gokuri hyuga-Head of hyuga clan who officially declared a search for nagashi and put the price of 1000000 yen on his head.


Note-this is just a synopsis and break down of the main characters more will be added in the next edition watch out for

10 years later(TO BE RELEASED BEFORE TUESDAY)
AOSHI DIES



CHAPTER 1 CURSED FAITH(LINE OF HATRED)
AOSHI DIES
FIFTEEN YEARS FROM THE DEATH OF HIS FATHER NAGASHI IS NOW 18 AND HIS HOPES ARE LOOOKING BRIGHTER THAN EVER TILL HIS DYING SENSEI CALLES HIM TO HIS DEATH BED TO HEAR HIS DYING WORDS
Aoshi:james come near me I have something to tell u come now
Nagashi:what is the problem sensei im hear what is it
Aoshi(gasps for breath)james you have been living a lie all you life
Nagashi :senseiii
Aoshi:your name is nagashi hyuga and am not your father you must listen carfelly to me.
Nagashi:no dad don’t say such things
Aoshi:listen to me u bastard I am not your father u mistake me for a dead man.
Nagashi:what……………….
Aoshi:you are from the hyuga clan the clan hidden in the leaves and your mother and father fought for you to be alive today
AOSHI REMEMBERS HIS TALK WITH DEJI 2 DAYS PRIOR TO THE FOILED ESCAPE.
Deji:we have revised the scenario a thousand times and I have made provisions for the teleportation seal to be carried out if necessary
Aoshi:that would mean you would have been exposed hopefully we wont come to that
Deji:Aoshi promise me that if I die….. that …that …u will take nagashi as your own
Aoshi:nonsense
Deji:just promise me I can bear the thought of dying and abandoning my son to such cruel faith hirana wouldn’t have wanted that
Aoshi:Fine I promise but nothing aint gonna happen to you allright
Deji:Alright
BACK TO THE PRESENT
Aoshi:That is how that dreaded came that you lost your father and I lost a friend
Nagashi:…………………..sobs ….sobs
Aoshi:Nonsense only foolish men weep (coughs blood and gasps for health)you are to go to otakagure there you will find
Nagashi:find what sensei
Aoshi:I told you don’t call me that a drunkard dying on his sick bed doesn,t deserve to be sensei.. there you will find kishi the blacksmith and swordsman
Nagashi’’’……………………
Aoshi:He will tell you how to use the sharigan and give you a scroll which was given to me by your father to give you when you come of age
Nagashi:What the only sharigan I know is your which got from battling a member…
Aoshi:Yes a member of the uchicha clan he gave me the eyes after striking my last one down and also as a reward for beating him
Nagashi: Alwesome sensei you rock
Aoshi:(Reaches over to nagashi and slaps him)
Nagashi:eek:ww…what did you do that for
Aoshi:I told you not to call me that if you cant obey simple instructions how are you gonna survived in this cursed world where ur wanted
Nagashi:Wanted sensei for what ,which offense did I commit?
Aoshi:None of your will,gokuri the head of you clan(hyuga)but a bounty on your head for 1000000 yen for who so ever kills or find you
Nagashi:what ,,,what did I do to him
Aoshi:He is the leader of the clan and also from the head family of the hyuga clan and you are from the branch when each branch members come of age there are given a curse seal to restrict their powers and to make sure when they die the bykugan is sealed away
Nagashi:………… what wickedness,, but why
Aoshi:you are being searched for because it is a disgrace on the path of the head family for allowing a branch family to live without the curse
Nagashi::hmmmmmmmmm
Aoshi:Yes I know but that is the cursed faith of the branch family which ur father my friend happily surrendered to free you for
Nagashi:sobs……. I swear on my name nagashi given to me by my father I will kill gokuri and free my clan from the dreaded faith
Aoshi(coughs blood heavily near the point of death)Quickly transplant the sharigan to your eyes before I die and implant it in your right eye
Nagashi :but sensei
Aoshi:No buts now
Nagashi:yes sensei

Transplant of sharigan done and nagashi now has the byakugan and sharigan.(aoshi last words)
Aoshi:Always remember to have a pure heart and never be filled with revenge remember what I taught you and make you of the knowledge
Nagashi :sobs….yes sensei
Aoshi:Clean your tears and go meet kishi the black smith in otakagure he has a scroll waiting for you there now go
Nagash:Yes sensei

(Aoshi dies and the young nagashi begins a life journey which we lead him to the truth now he has the sharigan and byakugan and with that comes potential)
WATCH OUT FOR THE NEXT CHAPTER TITTLED MEETING KISHI
Edited and written by Don Nizzy
check the bolded parts dude
8+15= 23 not 18
put some spaces in between your lines. it makes it hard to read.

Transplant of sharigan done and nagashi now has the byakugan and sharigan.(aoshi last words)

Aoshi:Always remember to have a pure heart and never be filled with revenge remember what I taught you and make you of the knowledge

Nagashi :sobs….yes sensei

Aoshi:Clean your tears and go meet kishi the black smith in otakagure he has a scroll waiting for you there now go

Nagash:Yes sensei

and dont put emoticons on your story.

well thats just my opinion.
 

Don Nizzy

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I didn't even read it.
It's messy.
Poor Written.
Grammar And Punctuation practically don't exist.
Put more time into your FanFiction, it is not something you can write and release in 30 minutes.
dude i took time and i edited some stuff take it up and look at it again
 
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