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The Chronicles of New Konoha!
Chapter 1 - The beginning!
As the ruins of a once majestic village burnt in the shadow of War, all villagers despaired. Their hope for glory, crushed by their once leader The Pervy Sage, was nothing more than a distant dream. All seemed lost within the walls of Konohagakure. But unknown to most villagers, in the middle of the battle, two of Akatsuki's strongest ninja stood against their own group and refused to help kill the innoncent. This was what ultimately led to the defeat of the enemy. These unknown proud ninjas were now hunted by their own organization.
In the village, reconstruction grew slowly, motivated by the mass exodus of several villagers. All that remained were also feeling lost and tired Their leader felt overwhelmed and ultimately also lost.
Then, one day, on a hill in the far horizon outlooking Konohagakure, two proud strong warriors stood tall as they behold the scars of war.
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Unknown ninja: They need us. They fought well but it wasn’t enough.
Unknown ninja2: I know…but are you sure? We’ll be hated and regarded as weak for joining a ruined village.
Unknown ninja: You were never the one to regard other people’s opinions of you; you simply crushed all that stood in your way. This will not be different. We’ll rebuild this great town and crush the threats of this world, so that all may live in peace once more. Also, they might have goat piss and you know that's my own personal vice...
Unknown ninja2: Spoken like a true leader. *slightly bows and farts a little* sorry
Unknown ninja: I have told you countless times: don't eat so many beans!
As both ninjas start to descend towards the village, both can’t stop but wondering how the villagers will greet them and how many of them will actually welcome their presence...and also why do farts smell so badly.
As they cross the shattered main gate, they are intercepted by the Sandaime Hokage, Lord Danzo.
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Lord Danzo: Who goes there?!?! *looks at their akatsuki cloaks* YOU! *his right eye reveals a Sharingan as he gets ready to attack*
Unknown ninja: *wispering* Amaterasu… *his cloak suddenly vanishes into a burst of black flames as it reveals a tall well built (great ass) man bearing two dark red piercing eyes* I am Izuna Uchiha, the Water Sage and the wielder of the great Ame-no-mi-Kumari. I have come to join Konohagakure.
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Unknown ninja2: *mumbles* Shiroi Katon… *his cloak suddenly burts into white flames revealing a scary-@ss looking man* I am Scary Yamato, future Wood Sage and master of the White Fire. We have left Akastuski behind. We now pledge alliance to Konoha.
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Lord Danzo: … Lets talk then…
As the three great ninjas went into the Hokage’s Office, all villagers couldn’t help but feel unease and afraid of these ninjas. The fact that their organization destroyed their home kept lingering in their minds.
A few hours passed and Nexus, great lord and the God ruler of the Ninja World, was the one to announce it in high lungs:
Nexus: I present to you, Izuna Uchiha, Yondaime Hokage!
All present gasped in pure AWW! (Some actually said WTF?) Izuna then step forth and announce his plans for rebuilding Konoha. He also announced that he would renew the members, evicting the inactive ones and would oversee the construction of the defenses himself. His last announcement was already expected:
Izuna: My 1st Advisor is now Scary Yamato, master of the white fire and future Wood Sage.
For days after this announcement, things in the village were strange. Its was like the wait before a big storm. In these days of wait, the Hokage changed some things: Konoha bar was rebuilt, a mission was given to all villagers and the plans for defense were given to God Nexus for approval. All seemed calm until a dark figure came to Konoha.
Dark Figure: So this is my new home… Konoha…it smells of hope… and fire…
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A tall uchiha ninja appear on top of a tree and asked:
McKnockout: The village was destroyed but the spirit of the people remains strong. Who are you?
Dark Figure: I am *takes off cloak* the earth master Scorps, also known as the drunken old ninja. I have come to boost your ranks.
Scorps was welcomed into the village with ease. They needed members, so they made everyone feel at home. Weeks passed and some things remained: ninjas were lasy and were getting fat, farting a lot. Because of this, some ninjas left the village: some because they felt like exploring the world; others because they wanted power and to join other villages and others simply couldn't stand the smell of all the farts.
In the middle of this, a long lost child of konoha returned: The 6th hokage. Lets just say his return wasn't as "warm" as he would like it. This was the beginning of the Emo Wave that would hit Konoha not long after.
Then the village faced its first internal conflict: the teenage drama of Black Uchiha Vs The World. This dark chapter in the history of New Konoha was basically motivated by the emo feelings that brew inside the teenage members of the village: Inchato and UxCxHxIxHxAx (or something like that…) felt wrong in watching Black Uchiha go against a helpless little girl to use her body has his own dark puppet. Seeing a little girl in distress awoke their primordial feelings of protection and they intervened. Because Black Uchiha was also suffering from emo teenage feelings himself, he responded, and Konoha’s first soap opera was born. This was eventualy resolved but only after some old random emo *cof* Scorps *cof* also had his useless saying.
In a dark lonely night, Scorps, a little dizzy from all the methane in the village's atmosphere, had an idea: hold a tournament inside the village!!! He asked the Hokage and he agreed. He then proceeded to make a public inquire to all villagers to acertain their interest in said tournament. The response from the village was unanimous: Meh… *fart* But even so, the tournament went forth and is now in its first fase.
Because of this tournament, Konohagakure was once again in the spot light. Members VMed the hell out of Scorps and some other members, inquiring about the tournament (although it was supposed to be a secret-I know who blew the wishle and you will suffer my wrath!!) and the village; Konoha was once again a desirable place to live. Because of this, Scorps was given the position of Hokage's 2nd Advisor, a great honor amongst the villagers. He gave the hokage a cup of Goat Piss (special harvest) in return for his gratitude.
In the middle of all the confusion and action, two dark cloaked figures arrived at the gates of Konoha:
Goro Kaguya, Sage of the Forbidden Arts
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And Gobi Gobletsson, Jinchurikii of the 5 tails
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Commotion and confusion raged the village as they feared the worst: once again Akatsuki would destroy the village. But Scorps was awake (although in a bar drinking and with little to no reception on his iPhone (yeah thats right!!! ninjas also have iPhones!!!)) and he skillfully managed (but with difficulty) to control the village and no one made the suicidal move to respond to the attack. Scorps prayed to Nexus for guidance, which eventually answered:
Nexus: Fear not my young one, this is not official; continue your drinking.
As he got this news he spread it across the village. At the same time, Gobi and Goro were on the gates of the village, were they found themselves unable to enter, as the greatest power the world has ever seen blocked their entrance: Bureaucracy!!! Also, all the methane from the village hindered their minds and made them hallucinate that they were already inside the village and spreading explosive tags all around when in reality they were running around in circles at the village gates.
As soon as the great Hokage came (word pawn…or is it?) he eased the minds of all villagers as he deemed this a feeble attempt to get him and others into a fight. The frustrated members of Akatsuki found themselves without a toy to play. And further intoxicated.
But this hadn’t finished yet. A suicidal member of the village decided to jump its walls and face both Goro and Gobi, alone. Although that might prove a courageous act if something important was on the line, in this case it was futile.
His fate was decided the moment his legs crossed the village borders… Mays you RIP Kaziname-kun... Until you respawn at the bar that is!
ItachiUchiha1992 tried his luck and had to be saved by Scorps and ~Crow~ but denied their help. As he was about to get shredded to pieces, a deep voice echoed on the battlefield only heard by special ones:
Voice: Leave that village... NOW!
And quite faster than they appeared, they left. Simple as that. (The voice was Zanji Uchiha's, leader of Akatsuki if you're guessing what it was... lolol)
In that same night, from beneath the shadows, a weird looking figure walked around the village. Scorps quickly intercepted him...well in the morning...or so (when he woke up but since the night was long...about noonish or so...) and asked him:
Scorps: Who the hell are you????
Weird Figure: I am...*turns around* Wesobi! Long lost child of Konoha!
Scorps: O___O
Stay tuned as this is...To be continued....
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