And I'm BACK ! With 25% extra nonsense ! W00T !! More members debut here, and then there's a fight, and stuff happens.
-------------------
Emperor: Welcome, my friends, I am back !!
Roku: Oh, hell.
Emperor: Yes, well, now we move on, and you have in your grasp, a....Sixty Four Dollar Toilet Plunger ?!
Roku:
What ?
Emperor: Sorry, my dumb assistants have given me an advertisement instead of my speech.
Roku: So now what ?
Emperor: Karaoke !!
Roku: Hell no.
Emperor: Damn.
Roku: ....
Emperor: ...
Roku: ....
Emperor: .....
Roku: The people want you to speak, idiot.
Emperor: Ah. Well, people, what I have to do is....err....well....Umm...Roku will talk to you now !
Roku: What ?
* People look at Roku *
Roku: Welcome to this fanfiction, ladies, gentlemen and penguins. We would be proud to introduce you to the second edition of the famous fanfiction...but unfortunately this fanfiction is not good, and not famous. So I just want you to sit back and start boo-ing whenever Emperor comes on. Thank you.
* People start cheering and chanting "Roku ! Roku !" *
Emperor: What ? Unfair ! This is too a good one !
Roku: Shut up and let's move on to the story.
-----------------------
At the outskirts of Kumo, the army of Suna, Konoha and Kiri mass outside the walls.
Mizukage Lawliet: Ladies and idiots, I would like to assure all of you, that I, the Mizukage, will lead you into this glorious war wherein we will vanquish the armies of Kumo, Oto, Iwa and Kusa. Who's with me ?
* Silence *
Lawliet: I said, who's with me ?
* Silence again, crickets chirp in background. Lawliet turns around to see nobody standing there *
Lawliet: What ? You, idiot, go see what the army is up to.
Caliburn: My name is NOT idiot !
Lawliet: And take the weirdo with you.
Mugiwara: Who's a weirdo ?
Lawliet: Go, before I castrate you.
* Mugiwara and Caliburn run off *
Mugiwara: Sometimes, discretion is the better part of valour.
Caliburn: I agree.
-----------------------------------
Scene changes to a panoramic view of the Raikage's office, with Ninja milling outside it.
Tsuchikage Ragnaroc: Dammit, where is the Raikage ? He was supposed to be here an hour ago !
Sound Village Leader Ice: * giggling while reading Icha Icha *
Grass Village Leader Alucard: ..... Stop that.
Ice: Nuh-uh !
* Door opens, and Zise and Rei walk in *
Ragnaroc: It's about time ! What were you doing in there ?
Zise: Something enjoyable.
Ice: O_O Lucky devil.
Alucard: Can we get on with the damned fight ?
Rei: There's no reason to hurry.
Alucard: Excuse me if I'm wrong, but the armies of three villages have surrounded us.
Rei: No, no, the ninjas are currently distracted. I ensured that.
Zise: After all, we are famous for our...books.
----------------------
Scene changes to a gasping and panting Mugiwara and Caliburn running back to Lawliet.
Mugiwara: *gasp* The armies...they are *gasp*
Caliburn: It's horrible.. *pant*
Mugiwara: Blood *gasp* everywhere
Caliburn: Everywhere.
Lawliet: You mean they got ambushed ?
Caliburn: No, they came across a conspicuously abandoned vault of Icha Icha. We've lost twenty men to bloodloss, and a hundred more are in states of delirium.
Lawliet: ... Men. I will get them. * vanishes in a swirl of marshmallows *
------------------------------
Scene changes back to the Raikage's inner sanctum.
Ragnaroc: Now, what do we do ?
Ice: Read pervy novels ?
Ragnaroc: Ye- I mean, No !!
Alucard: We have to attack.
Zise: I thought they were attacking.
Alucard: Attack is the best form of defence !!!
Ragnaroc: No, defence is the best form of defence !!
Ice: Running away is the best form of defence !!!
Ragnaroc: O_O
Ice: What ? I learned that from Emperor.
Alucard: O_O Dumbass.
Ragnaroc: Raikage, what are you doing ?
Zise: Deciding our strategy. * Flips a coin * Attack it is !
Alucard: Yay !!
Ragnaroc: Boo !!
Ice: * giggling perversely * Did you say something ?
---------------------
Scene changes back to the outskirts of Kumo, where the large army is standing.
Mugiwara: ( to a random ninja ) What did she do to drag you from Icha Icha ?
Random Ninja: If I talk about it, I will have nightmares.
Mugiwara: O_O
Lawliet: Now, I, the Hokage, and the Kazekage will be leading this devastating attack into the village of Kumo !!
* Army cheers *
Hokage Versuvio: Let's go !
* Before the army can move, the opposing forces rush out of the village at them *
Nexus: I thought WE were attacking.
Lawliet: Does it matter ? Charge !!
* Suddenly, a bright light falls from heaven upon a spot between the two armies. Floating down gracefully from the sky with wires attached to help him is...Emperor with a toilet plunger in his hand *
Everyone: O_O
* Wires go loose and Emperor suddenly crashes to the floor from a good height *
Emperor: Damn you, Roku !
Roku: *laughing* Sorry, they slipped
Rei: Who are you, and why are you here ?
Emperor: I'm here to...advertise this Sixty Four Dollar Toilet Plunger !
* Chorus randomly breaks out singing the lines again *
Zise: Okay, what the hell was that ?
Emperor: Ah, good sir, could I interest you in a plunger ?
Zise: O_O
Mugiwara: Maybe I could use one...
Lawliet: * slaps Mugiwara * Why are you interrupting this Great Ninja War for...advertising ?
Emperor: I get paid. Honestly, you don't know how hard it is for cannibals to find work.
Ragnaroc: * breathes flame and plungers disintegrate *
Emperor: Bad case of Heartburn ? I've got just the thing ! It's called Dr. Demented's Cure for Heartburn with genuine dragon scales. Came from a dragon called Bob.
Ragnaroc: DRAGON scales ? You killed my second cousin eight times removed ? I'll kill you !!
* Exit Emperor being chased by Ragnaroc with random bursts of flame being shot out *
Lawliet: We will never speak of this again.
Everyone: Agreed. O_O
Alucard: Let's fight !!!
-------------------------
Scene changes to huge fights going on, with shouts of Mummy ! and Help ! being heard.
Alucard: Tum de dum..One little two little three little ninjas...
* Three ninjas fall to the floor in bits *
Alucard: Four little, five little six little ninjas...
* Three more ninjas fall to the floor dead *
??? : And one knuckle sandwich !! * punch flies toward Alucard, who blocks it *
Alucard: Dude, that didn't rhyme.
Gatsndshanks: Think I care ? Well, actually I do, because I'm all literary and poetic inside, but that's a secret.
Alucard: O_O
Gatsndshanks: Let's go !!
--------------------
Emperor: And now, the next issue will bring with it it's own trials and tribulations, along with a fight of Gatndshanks and Alucard !!
* burst of flame from offstage *
Emperor: Whoops, it looks like the lizard found me. See you !
* exits running as Ragnaroc barges in and begins burning things *
Roku: That's all, folks !!
-------------------
Emperor: Welcome, my friends, I am back !!
Roku: Oh, hell.
Emperor: Yes, well, now we move on, and you have in your grasp, a....Sixty Four Dollar Toilet Plunger ?!
Roku:
What ?Emperor: Sorry, my dumb assistants have given me an advertisement instead of my speech.
Roku: So now what ?
Emperor: Karaoke !!
Roku: Hell no.
Emperor: Damn.
Roku: ....
Emperor: ...
Roku: ....
Emperor: .....
Roku: The people want you to speak, idiot.
Emperor: Ah. Well, people, what I have to do is....err....well....Umm...Roku will talk to you now !
Roku: What ?
* People look at Roku *
Roku: Welcome to this fanfiction, ladies, gentlemen and penguins. We would be proud to introduce you to the second edition of the famous fanfiction...but unfortunately this fanfiction is not good, and not famous. So I just want you to sit back and start boo-ing whenever Emperor comes on. Thank you.
* People start cheering and chanting "Roku ! Roku !" *
Emperor: What ? Unfair ! This is too a good one !
Roku: Shut up and let's move on to the story.
-----------------------
At the outskirts of Kumo, the army of Suna, Konoha and Kiri mass outside the walls.
Mizukage Lawliet: Ladies and idiots, I would like to assure all of you, that I, the Mizukage, will lead you into this glorious war wherein we will vanquish the armies of Kumo, Oto, Iwa and Kusa. Who's with me ?
* Silence *
Lawliet: I said, who's with me ?
* Silence again, crickets chirp in background. Lawliet turns around to see nobody standing there *
Lawliet: What ? You, idiot, go see what the army is up to.
Caliburn: My name is NOT idiot !
Lawliet: And take the weirdo with you.
Mugiwara: Who's a weirdo ?
Lawliet: Go, before I castrate you.
* Mugiwara and Caliburn run off *
Mugiwara: Sometimes, discretion is the better part of valour.
Caliburn: I agree.
-----------------------------------
Scene changes to a panoramic view of the Raikage's office, with Ninja milling outside it.
Tsuchikage Ragnaroc: Dammit, where is the Raikage ? He was supposed to be here an hour ago !
Sound Village Leader Ice: * giggling while reading Icha Icha *
Grass Village Leader Alucard: ..... Stop that.
Ice: Nuh-uh !
* Door opens, and Zise and Rei walk in *
Ragnaroc: It's about time ! What were you doing in there ?
Zise:
Something enjoyable.Ice: O_O Lucky devil.
Alucard: Can we get on with the damned fight ?
Rei: There's no reason to hurry.
Alucard: Excuse me if I'm wrong, but the armies of three villages have surrounded us.
Rei: No, no, the ninjas are currently distracted. I ensured that.
Zise: After all, we are famous for our...books.
----------------------
Scene changes to a gasping and panting Mugiwara and Caliburn running back to Lawliet.
Mugiwara: *gasp* The armies...they are *gasp*
Caliburn: It's horrible.. *pant*
Mugiwara: Blood *gasp* everywhere
Caliburn: Everywhere.
Lawliet: You mean they got ambushed ?
Caliburn: No, they came across a conspicuously abandoned vault of Icha Icha. We've lost twenty men to bloodloss, and a hundred more are in states of delirium.
Lawliet: ... Men. I will get them. * vanishes in a swirl of marshmallows *
------------------------------
Scene changes back to the Raikage's inner sanctum.
Ragnaroc: Now, what do we do ?
Ice: Read pervy novels ?
Ragnaroc: Ye- I mean, No !!
Alucard: We have to attack.
Zise: I thought they were attacking.
Alucard: Attack is the best form of defence !!!
Ragnaroc: No, defence is the best form of defence !!
Ice: Running away is the best form of defence !!!
Ragnaroc: O_O
Ice: What ? I learned that from Emperor.
Alucard: O_O Dumbass.
Ragnaroc: Raikage, what are you doing ?
Zise: Deciding our strategy. * Flips a coin * Attack it is !
Alucard: Yay !!
Ragnaroc: Boo !!
Ice: * giggling perversely * Did you say something ?
---------------------
Scene changes back to the outskirts of Kumo, where the large army is standing.
Mugiwara: ( to a random ninja ) What did she do to drag you from Icha Icha ?
Random Ninja: If I talk about it, I will have nightmares.
Mugiwara: O_O
Lawliet: Now, I, the Hokage, and the Kazekage will be leading this devastating attack into the village of Kumo !!
* Army cheers *
Hokage Versuvio: Let's go !
* Before the army can move, the opposing forces rush out of the village at them *
Nexus: I thought WE were attacking.
Lawliet: Does it matter ? Charge !!
* Suddenly, a bright light falls from heaven upon a spot between the two armies. Floating down gracefully from the sky with wires attached to help him is...Emperor with a toilet plunger in his hand *
Everyone: O_O
* Wires go loose and Emperor suddenly crashes to the floor from a good height *
Emperor: Damn you, Roku !
Roku: *laughing* Sorry, they slipped
Rei: Who are you, and why are you here ?
Emperor: I'm here to...advertise this Sixty Four Dollar Toilet Plunger !
Oh, it's a plunger. It's a plunger !
A really awesome device
It's a plunger. No danger.
It gets rid of things stuck inside
Toilets.
A really awesome device
It's a plunger. No danger.
It gets rid of things stuck inside
Toilets.
* Chorus randomly breaks out singing the lines again *
Zise: Okay, what the hell was that ?
Emperor: Ah, good sir, could I interest you in a plunger ?
Zise: O_O
Mugiwara: Maybe I could use one...
Lawliet: * slaps Mugiwara * Why are you interrupting this Great Ninja War for...advertising ?
Emperor: I get paid. Honestly, you don't know how hard it is for cannibals to find work.
Ragnaroc: * breathes flame and plungers disintegrate *
Emperor: Bad case of Heartburn ? I've got just the thing ! It's called Dr. Demented's Cure for Heartburn with genuine dragon scales. Came from a dragon called Bob.
Ragnaroc: DRAGON scales ? You killed my second cousin eight times removed ? I'll kill you !!
* Exit Emperor being chased by Ragnaroc with random bursts of flame being shot out *
Lawliet: We will never speak of this again.
Everyone: Agreed. O_O
Alucard: Let's fight !!!
-------------------------
Scene changes to huge fights going on, with shouts of Mummy ! and Help ! being heard.
Alucard: Tum de dum..One little two little three little ninjas...
* Three ninjas fall to the floor in bits *
Alucard: Four little, five little six little ninjas...
* Three more ninjas fall to the floor dead *
??? : And one knuckle sandwich !! * punch flies toward Alucard, who blocks it *
Alucard: Dude, that didn't rhyme.
Gatsndshanks: Think I care ? Well, actually I do, because I'm all literary and poetic inside, but that's a secret.
Alucard: O_O
Gatsndshanks: Let's go !!
--------------------
Emperor: And now, the next issue will bring with it it's own trials and tribulations, along with a fight of Gatndshanks and Alucard !!
* burst of flame from offstage *
Emperor: Whoops, it looks like the lizard found me. See you !
* exits running as Ragnaroc barges in and begins burning things *
Roku: That's all, folks !!
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