Tell me your best joke.

[Yusuke Urameshi]

Not just any joke, but an unjoke/antijoke/antihumor. If you tell me one I haven't already seen/heard, I'll give you rep. And if it makes me laugh.

Example:

Why did the boy drop his ice cream?
Because he was hit by a bus.

Those type of jokes.

 

[Filo]

I'm not Goku, just saiyan

 

[CurseSealofEarth]

Why did I punch my screen?

Mom walked in while I was watching porn.

 

[foxyladyland]

$lutty girl walks into the bar I work at ...

she's drunk.. "come with me baby"

BOSS: " Foxy what are you doing?"

Foxy: "taking out the traaaaash!"

don't do me like that. u get it? Lol

 

[Penguin]

Want to sit on my lap and talk about the first thing that pops up?

Bend over and spell run.

How do you make a lemon drop? You drop a lemon. U_U

Eatin' ain't cheatin.

 

[Javaweb]

This is about a father who's daughter is starting to date. He wants to meet all of the boys before they go out. As each boy comes in, the father is holding a shotgun and asks the boys name and where they're going. The first boy comes in. "My name is mark, and were going to the park." The father nodded and let hem go. Next, a boy came in and explained "My name is Eddie, and were going to get some spaghetti." Again, the father nodded and let them go. Finally, the third boy came in. He said "My name is Chuck--" The father shot him immediately.

 

[amarusboobs]

A Rabbi, a Muslim, and A Preist walk into a bar...



...and they all had a good time :|

 

[Jack Spicer]

Knock knock.
Who's there?
Steve.
Steve, who?
Your neighbor Steve. Remember, I stabbed your dog to death with a spoon and then proceeded to rape your cookie jar while pretending it was your older sister? You and me used to hang out in High School. I was on the Fire Ferrets squad. I made varsity. It was really a good experience. Lately, I've been working on a novel. It's a love story. I think it could be hit. I'd love for you to read it sometime. Maybe we could discuss it over some Arkham Origins this weekend or maybe a movie? That'd be awesome.
Oh, hey, what's up?
I'm here to return the spoon.

 

[Troyg39]

Two guys are in a bar

First guy reaches into his pocket and pulls out a small piano, and a small person who starts playing the small piano

The second guys says: Hey that's awesome where did you get that?

The first guy says: I made a wish to a geenie outside, only he has a hearing problem so you can't get quite what you want from him.

So the second guy goes outside to the geenie, geenie says: what is your wish?

Second guy says: I want million dollars

A fresh cooked meal and a patch of baby doll hair appear in front of him

Second guy tries again with something simpler: I want a pencil

Suddenly a bottle of Penzoil motor oil appears

Second guys tries one more time and says: I want you to hear better

The geenie suddenly develops a fear for cheddar cheese

So the second guy returns to the bar with his pointless gifts, and says to the first guy: Man he didn't get a single thing right.

The first guy says: I told you so

The second guy looks again at the man playing the piano and asks: Gee what did you really wish for?

The first guy responds: A small penis

....Did I forget to mention these two were in a gay bar

 

[BadBoy M]

Why did the Chicken cross the road?
To get to Your House.

Knock Knock.
Who's there?
The chicken

 

[WhistleBlower]

Business man, texting his wife or lover during office meeting

Man : Babe, when i get home i wanna lick you from your feet to your mouth
???? : This is your mum!
Man: Jumps outta window

 

[FitzChivalry Farseer]

So this guy's car broke down in front of psychotic asylum

The tire simply popped and he's now changing it

During the process of changing the tire he loses a couple screws to put back the tire


He's there for a couple of hours figuring out what he'll do

Suddenly a crazy person comes out of nowhere to stare at the car

The crazy person suggests that he should take one screw from each tire and use them to put that one tire

Well the guy says its a good idea and gets to doing the job

After hes finished he ask the crazy person why hes is in a asylum if hes so smart

The crazy person responds by saying "I'm here cause I'm crazy not because I'm a dumb ass"

 

[Uzumaki Tarein]

Why do you have to sin a contract?
cos its tans of fun!!

 

[Kishi Uzumaki]

Husband Throwing Darts At His Wife’s Photo And Not Even A Single One Hitting The Target..
From Another Room Wife Called The Husband : “Honey What Are You Doing..
Husband: “MISSING YOU”..

 

[Sarutobi Sasuke]

A guy who's on his honeymoon with his new wife tells her to put on his pants. After she puts them on he tells her: "See that? Thats the last time you'll be wearing those in this marriage." The wife then tells him to try on her panties. After he puts on the panties she tells him: "See that? Thats the last time you'll be getting into those"

 

[Stark]

You are the joke