Sweet revelations.
I continue to walk the path to which we call life.
Without happiness though, not a thought to a happy lfe.
All i can do is think back to the good years.
Where my grandfather was alive, my dad loved me.
My uncle was never self absolving, my grandmother still howling.
Where i could cry when hurt, but now i smile.
I expect to be abandon.
To be mocked and cussed.
Jeered and forced to obey.
Now with one leg left i push it all in.
My graduation shall indeed be weird.
No one will be there that should.
My grandmother dead.
My grandfather dead.
I guess i could say and call them.
Mother and Father, for they hath raised me.
Now... i wonder if i was worth the trouble.
"In my deathly soul cries out, will you be my shadow to walk onto the night with me.
Saving the heart that beats withing me, or the one that shall tear it at the seams.
Now i realize that love is fake, and is all a dream that i dare make."
Thinking back upon these words that i said to myself one day, do i dare make peace.
Do i dare to pop the pill and drift to a land where the joy never ends.
Do i pick up the bottle and drink and drink.
Shrinks says everything will be ok, they do not know what i did.
What i suggested.
What i told what had to be done.
One thing is to hear of a person to of have died.
the other... god foresaken one is to watch them.
the other one that will make the devil keep in its grasp.
Where you will have to choose.
To let them go forever, and ever.
So they don't hurt, or to let them suffer like a horse with a broken leg.
In a way i feel like a murderer... for i was the first to make the call.
I was the one who knew along.
Why god... why oh god and jesus in heaven hath you abandoned you're childern.
Are you even listening to me... like it says in that book that you should.
I am stuck... like some others... should i even have the right to live my life.
A part of me must've thought the suffering must end, the other that i like seeing people in pain.
Like me, when my heart is slain each and everyday.
However, with my funeral may come a sweet euphria.
That my delightful sins, shall never be passed to my sons.
for which they shall never suffer from the father.
Should i even stand to bear the weight of the world.
Playing god?
A true and humble facade.
Aye a peche, if i may.
in the end i will never die, for it would be a act of kindness.
I deserve the hell i get.
the punishement that i recieve.
Even in my dreams.
I drift to my true mother that held all the seams.
- christopher wheeler
ps
if you have someone close to you, and then i say hold them dear and true... for they won't be here forever. neither i or you. we all gotta die some day, may not be today, nor tommrow, we all have too. even to our own dismay.
I continue to walk the path to which we call life.
Without happiness though, not a thought to a happy lfe.
All i can do is think back to the good years.
Where my grandfather was alive, my dad loved me.
My uncle was never self absolving, my grandmother still howling.
Where i could cry when hurt, but now i smile.
I expect to be abandon.
To be mocked and cussed.
Jeered and forced to obey.
Now with one leg left i push it all in.
My graduation shall indeed be weird.
No one will be there that should.
My grandmother dead.
My grandfather dead.
I guess i could say and call them.
Mother and Father, for they hath raised me.
Now... i wonder if i was worth the trouble.
"In my deathly soul cries out, will you be my shadow to walk onto the night with me.
Saving the heart that beats withing me, or the one that shall tear it at the seams.
Now i realize that love is fake, and is all a dream that i dare make."
Thinking back upon these words that i said to myself one day, do i dare make peace.
Do i dare to pop the pill and drift to a land where the joy never ends.
Do i pick up the bottle and drink and drink.
Shrinks says everything will be ok, they do not know what i did.
What i suggested.
What i told what had to be done.
One thing is to hear of a person to of have died.
the other... god foresaken one is to watch them.
the other one that will make the devil keep in its grasp.
Where you will have to choose.
To let them go forever, and ever.
So they don't hurt, or to let them suffer like a horse with a broken leg.
In a way i feel like a murderer... for i was the first to make the call.
I was the one who knew along.
Why god... why oh god and jesus in heaven hath you abandoned you're childern.
Are you even listening to me... like it says in that book that you should.
I am stuck... like some others... should i even have the right to live my life.
A part of me must've thought the suffering must end, the other that i like seeing people in pain.
Like me, when my heart is slain each and everyday.
However, with my funeral may come a sweet euphria.
That my delightful sins, shall never be passed to my sons.
for which they shall never suffer from the father.
Should i even stand to bear the weight of the world.
Playing god?
A true and humble facade.
Aye a peche, if i may.
in the end i will never die, for it would be a act of kindness.
I deserve the hell i get.
the punishement that i recieve.
Even in my dreams.
I drift to my true mother that held all the seams.
- christopher wheeler
ps
if you have someone close to you, and then i say hold them dear and true... for they won't be here forever. neither i or you. we all gotta die some day, may not be today, nor tommrow, we all have too. even to our own dismay.
