Sensitive Guys

[AiMi]

She also said she likes the man to be in control when she's in a relationship. Doesn't that mean she wants a control freak as a boyfriend basically?

The way i read that made me think of a dominant and submissive relationship .-. anyway i agree with Hyorinmaru

 

[Aim64C]

This girl I'm trying to talk to thinks I'm overly sensitive (aka: A Nice guy). She told a mutual friend she likes guys who take control. She also said to a mutual friend that she is casually dating and isn't certain who she wants. She also said I need to step up and take charge and tell her how I feel about her. Now I'm up here searching for advice smoking my problems away listening to The Weekend. Should I just do what she believes all men should do? Should I just turn into a controlling egotistical douche? Should I just back off and let her do her own thing? What do you think I should do?

Do you really think there is a problem with who you are?

Is changing yourself to appeal to this girl going to make you feel more secure in your identity?

I'll be honest with you - a lot of females have difficulty in a relationship with a guy who is anything but abusive. For whatever reason, they seem to be wired to seek out abuse and cloak themselves in it. I suppose that does make sense under the Red Queen, to some degree... a female who submits to abusive amounts of control and serves as a baby factory is more likely to have descendants that continue procreating - so the trend should be rather soundly established in our genetics (and since dominating females cannot reproduce at a higher rate when compared to a dominating male...)...

Anyway - there is something to be said for being assertive and for being -decisive-. Most girls like a guy who makes solid, resolved decisions. Most girls who grow out of the highschool stage appreciate behavioral stability and consistency.

But if you don't feel that becoming a controlling douche is in you - then don't become a controlling douche. You may want to consider tempering your emotional state and resolve (finding your 'center' - where your limits on compromise are).

But, honestly, what's likely to happen is if you 'turn your nose up' at her - she'll go nuts trying to regain the attention/interest you had in her. I wouldn't go for her, if I were you, because it's likely that she'll chase after the next thing she can't have - but that's probably how it will end up going.

Or possibly not. Some girls just like to be submissive. If you desire a partner as opposed to a toy you can impregnate... I'd recommend avoiding females of that personality.

 

[Shirohebi]

What's wrong with the world these days? what's the downside of being a nice guy? That s**t is seriously underrated! Don't change the way you look for any girl, I think she just wants to be asked out or something like that, not to be smacked all over the face or whatever! And you smoke? That's...not weird at all, just not cool...but entirely your choice. Btw: it's a lie girls like that, it's quite the opposite!

 

[ArabianLuffy]

It's so simple.

- Take the lead
- The last word is yours
- You say "yes" to this and "no" to that
- You're right and she's wrong (but not always)
- Knowing what to do and when
- Never listen to her unless you have to

That's how a man should be

 

[Crocodile]

Yo, I can only speak from personal experience, but don't listen to all this shit of becoming more alpha and shoot steroids to make you look like a "man".
The only advice I can give you is to talk to her, set up a date or something at a cafe and just tell her how you feel, if she doesnt feel you in that moment then it's just better to take her as a friend and move on.
Don't change your core personality, but sometimes you have to adapt to certain situations in order for things to work out.

 

[Darthlawsuit]

Do you want a brainless puppet of a woman or a woman that is capable of independent thought? Brainless women want to be controlled, intelligent women want to be equals.

Don't even go for the controlling women.

 

[Yatori]

It's so simple.

- Take the lead
- The last word is yours
- You say "yes" to this and "no" to that
- You're right and she's wrong (but not always)
- Knowing what to do and when
- Never listen to her unless you have to

That's how a man should be

Listen to this guys if you want her

But if you dont want then find another..maybe the one is not there yet

 

[YokoKurama]

Drop the cigs, they will kill you. She doesn't seem to be worth your time, and sounds like a hoe. Never change who you are, no one likes a fake. I think a "nice guy" isn't a bad thing. I prefer my man to be a lil sensitive, it's great.

 

[Kenotthib]

maybe I'm just making excuses to not to tell her how I feel.