Post your Funny jokes
- Thread starter Jakeloj
- Start date
There's a man sitting at a bar just
looking at his drink. He stays like
that for half an hour. Then, a big
trouble-making truck driver steps
next to him, takes the drink from the
guy, and just drinks it all down.
The poor man starts crying. The
truck driver says, "Come on man, I
was just joking. Here, I'll buy you
another drink. I just can't stand
seeing a man crying."
"No, it's not that. This day is the
worst of my life. First, I fall asleep,
and I'm late to my office. My boss, in
an outrage, fires me. When I leave
the building to my car, I found out it
was stolen. The police say they can
do nothing. I get a cab to return
home and when I leave it, I
remember I left my wallet and credit
cards there. The cab driver just
drives away. I go home and when I
get there, I find my wife sleeping
with the gardener. I leave home and
come to this bar. And when I was
thinking about putting an end to my
life, you show up and drink my
poison."
looking at his drink. He stays like
that for half an hour. Then, a big
trouble-making truck driver steps
next to him, takes the drink from the
guy, and just drinks it all down.
The poor man starts crying. The
truck driver says, "Come on man, I
was just joking. Here, I'll buy you
another drink. I just can't stand
seeing a man crying."
"No, it's not that. This day is the
worst of my life. First, I fall asleep,
and I'm late to my office. My boss, in
an outrage, fires me. When I leave
the building to my car, I found out it
was stolen. The police say they can
do nothing. I get a cab to return
home and when I leave it, I
remember I left my wallet and credit
cards there. The cab driver just
drives away. I go home and when I
get there, I find my wife sleeping
with the gardener. I leave home and
come to this bar. And when I was
thinking about putting an end to my
life, you show up and drink my
poison."
Jack Spicer
Active member
Awards
-Liquid Cefka-
Active member
-God of War-
Active member
John and Jessica were on their way
home from the bar one night and
John got pulled over by the police.
The officer told John that he was
stopped because his tail light was
burned out. John said, "I'm very
sorry officer, I didn't realize it was
out, I'll get it fixed right away."
Just then Jessica said, "I knew this
would happen when I told you two
days ago to get that light fixed."
So the officer asked for John's
license and after looking at it said,
"Sir your license has expired."
And again John apologized and
mentioned that he didn't realize that
it had expired and would take care of
it first thing in the morning.
Jessica said, "I told you a week ago
that the state sent you a letter telling
you that your license had expired."
Well by this time, John is a bit upset
with his wife contradicting him in
front of the officer, and he said in a
rather loud voice, "Jessica, shut your
mouth!"pr0perty0fgl0wp0rt
The officer then leaned over toward
Jessica and asked. "Does your
husband always talk to you like
that?"
Jessica replied, "only when he's
drunk."
home from the bar one night and
John got pulled over by the police.
The officer told John that he was
stopped because his tail light was
burned out. John said, "I'm very
sorry officer, I didn't realize it was
out, I'll get it fixed right away."
Just then Jessica said, "I knew this
would happen when I told you two
days ago to get that light fixed."
So the officer asked for John's
license and after looking at it said,
"Sir your license has expired."
And again John apologized and
mentioned that he didn't realize that
it had expired and would take care of
it first thing in the morning.
Jessica said, "I told you a week ago
that the state sent you a letter telling
you that your license had expired."
Well by this time, John is a bit upset
with his wife contradicting him in
front of the officer, and he said in a
rather loud voice, "Jessica, shut your
mouth!"pr0perty0fgl0wp0rt
The officer then leaned over toward
Jessica and asked. "Does your
husband always talk to you like
that?"
Jessica replied, "only when he's
drunk."
-Liquid Cefka-
Active member
ok...i seen this joke a few days ago, but i cant for the life of me remember where, but it said:
"how do you get 50 mexicans in a phonebooth? throw a food stamp in it"
its kinda mean, but i chuckeled at it
"how do you get 50 mexicans in a phonebooth? throw a food stamp in it"
its kinda mean, but i chuckeled at it
A man goes into a bar and seats
himself on a stool. The bartender
looks at him and says, "What'll it be
buddy?"
The man says, "Set me up with seven
whiskey shots and make them
doubles." The bartender does this
and watches the man slug one down,
then the next, then the next, and so
on until all seven are gone almost as
quickly as they were served. Staring
in disbelief, the bartender asks why
he's doing all this drinking.
"You'd drink them this fast too if you
had what I have."
The bartender hastily asks, "What do
you have pal?"
The man quickly replies, "I have a
dollar."
himself on a stool. The bartender
looks at him and says, "What'll it be
buddy?"
The man says, "Set me up with seven
whiskey shots and make them
doubles." The bartender does this
and watches the man slug one down,
then the next, then the next, and so
on until all seven are gone almost as
quickly as they were served. Staring
in disbelief, the bartender asks why
he's doing all this drinking.
"You'd drink them this fast too if you
had what I have."
The bartender hastily asks, "What do
you have pal?"
The man quickly replies, "I have a
dollar."
