[Mystery] Over in a Flash Chapter 9

FaHaD 5212

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Chapter 9: Academy Days, Begin

Hey guys, how are you? Not much to say so without further ado, here's the next chapter.


"I realize the screaming pain" - Human Speech
'Hearing loud in my brain' - Human Thought
"But I'm going straight ahead" - Biju Speech
'With this scar' - Biju Thought
Magen: Narakumi no Jutsu (Demonic Illusion: Hell Viewing Technique)Jutsu

Quote of the Day:
There is someone that I must meet again. And until that day...not even Death itself can take my life away! - Roronoa Zoro (One Piece)

Disclaimer: I FaHaD 5212 do not own Naruto in any way. (This story is written purely for entertainment and as a hobby)

Chapter 9: Academy Days, Begin

Root Headquarters - Konoha


The Byakugan. One Shimura Danzo had no major use of it. 'Seeing the Tenketsu is an ability useful only to medics and to the youth, who develop their arsenal around it; unlike me. However, getting Hyuga soldiers is extremely useful.'

Danzo then looked at the eyeless corpse before him. "Take it away to be disposed" ordered the war hawk, and his soldiers did as told. ‘I see only one use of the Uchiha, a fresh supply of Sharingan.' Danzo tapped the bandages over his right eye as he thought that.

Danzo had always been an extremist, at least from when he first tasted war. Power, power was the only thing which gave results in the world. No one listened to the weak, the strong got everything. "... And I intend to make Konoha strong, starting from its roots" said the 'crippled' old man with conviction.

=====OFR=====
Uzumaki Estate - Konoha


Naruto was absolutely sure, no doubt, no mistake. He was being watched whenever possible, when he was out training or when he went to the Ichiraku's. Everywhere short of his home he sensed shady people, or rather their Chakra with the Kagura Shigan (Mind's Eye of Divine Enlightenment), following him, observing him under orders.

'It can't be Jiji; he already knows everything spying could tell him. Who is this mysterious group following me? Is it possible that... No. But... Yes, it is entirely possible for this to be the reason Shisui-nii was worried about me.' Naruto had always been perceptive, however this time he could only wait to find out more.

Standing up, Naruto decided to take a shower and get a change of attire. It was eight in the morning, Nana and Mea had already left for training leaving Naruto to his own devices.

Getting ready, Naruto headed for the kitchen in a black Yukata with blood red trims. Looking at the table, Naruto saw that a breakfast of oat meal and fruit salad had been prepared. 'Those two, they probably want their favorites cooked by me at dinner' thought Naruto with a small smile.

Taking a seat and finishing breakfast, Naruto had thought up of his new routine. He woke up at 8:00 am, got ready for the day by nine, began his daily training exercises in the Uzumaki Training Ground, took a break during which he practiced Fuinjutsu (Sealing Art) for two to three hours, had lunch, practiced Ninjutsu and refined what he learned and got finished by five to six in the evening. During this time, he sent about three hundred Kage Bunshin (Shadow Clones) for reading in the Uzumaki Library, and learning and practicing new Ninjutsu. He kept the number low even when having a much greater mental resistance because he used around a hundred for Fuinjutsu (Sealing Art) and he didn't want to be forced to stop using clones as once before.

"I suppose I'll visit Miko-kaa today after training" Naruto mused to himself.

=====OFR=====
Uchiha Clan Compound - Konoha


The girls, Nana and Mea had finished preparing for the day while Naruto was in the shower and had left to train. Looking around, they saw...suspicious looks? But they thought nothing of it, calling it a clan thing.

Reaching their Training Ground, they saw Mikoto sitting on the edge of the small bridge, looking into the distance. Their inner prankster awake, the two swiftly moved behind Mikoto and promptly pushed her into the water.

Mikoto however was not one to lose easily and quickly pulled the two into the water with herself. "Cold Cold Cold Cold Cold" Nana repeated as she quickly jumped out and was shivering.

"Ara Ara, it seems that your trick backfired Nana-chan." The Uchiha patriarch teased.

"It's not funny!" yelled Nana her eyes squinted and arms moving on defiance, anime style complaining.

"Back to serious matters" she said as Nana and a giggling Mea straightened themselves "You see, earlier today, Fugaku arranged a Clan Meeting which resulted in a decision to not let non-Uchiha in the Clan grounds unless the entry concerns important matters, starting tomorrow onwards."

"But what about my training?" questioned Mea, inwardly complaining at not being able to meet with her mother figure on a regular basis.

"Now Now Mea-chan, I think we both know that you're about ready to begin training in Uzumaki methods. I think it would be best if you started to train with Naru-kun at home after all, he must be getting bored all alone." Mikoto explained.

"I see" Mea said in an understanding tone, "Just promise that you'll come visit us often."

"Of course, I can't leave this little princess all alone with that oh so cruel, savage beast now, can I?" joked Mikoto at the absent Naruto's expense.

"So can we at least have one last day of training?" questioned Mea, already knowing the answer.

=====OFR=====
Hokage Office - Konoha


'The situation is getting worse. Now there is major distrust between the Uchiha and the rest of the village.' Hiruzen sighed. Even with all these headaches, the Hokage loved his job and his village. However it was getting difficult to find satisfaction as time passed, so many problems just kept on coming. He had thought that he would be free once retired but then the Kyūbi attack happened, and he was reinstated. And things only went south afterwards; first he had to put down Danzo and his claim to the Hokage seat and his 'best for Konoha' concept. Then the people of the village slowly believed the Uchiha to be the ones who orchestrated the Kyūbi attack, thus causing poor relations. Then Naruto starts getting beatings on his birthday, which he mostly managed to stop in time through the Anbu. The one time he was a little slow, Naruto killed the mob and awakened two legendary bloodlines, one formerly extinct. Then he had to put down Danzo's renewed efforts for making Naruto a weapon once he got aware of his gifts through Root, which he kept around in secret to do Konoha's dirty work. The situation then continued to worsen and now, the Uchiha had closed themselves off from the village. 'Just another excuse for Danzo to push towards killing them.'

Yes, the job of a Hokage was not what one would work for if he wanted a simple but thrilling life. No, the Hokage was one who had to balance the light and dark of the village, they had to be prepared to send hundreds of Shinobi to their death and tell their families once they died. The Hokage had to be prepared to sacrifice his life for the village and had to make all the hard choices, 'like Minato did' thought the old man.

Hiruzen sighed.

=====OFR=====
Uzumaki Estate - Konoha


Naruto had finished training an hour ago, of course he wore his mesh shirt and black pants for that, and was wearing the same Yukata. He had taken a bath after which he sent Clones to find Shisui, Itachi and Mikoto and invite them over for dinner.

Nana and Mea had come back half an hour ago and were told to go prepare for dinner. Naruto himself and his clones cooking dinner and setting up the house. He had formed a temporary seal for Itachi to use until Naruto got his Chakra integrated into the system.

After about one hour, at 8:00 pm, Naruto went to answer the door upon hearing the knocking.

With a slight bow he greeted, "Good evening, Miss Mikoto, Sir Itachi and Mister Shisui." The three in question being too surprised at this behaviour to speak just nodded, it was also their first time seeing Naruto in a Yukata.

Ushering his guests to the table, they sat down. As if on cue, Nana and Mea came with the dishes, and spoke in perfect unison after a small bow, "Greetings, Mikoto-sama, Itachi-sama, Shisui-sama."

Mikoto being the first to get over her shock 'said', "What the heck happened to you guys?"

"Oi! We're just being polite here..." exclaimed Nana, before Mea promptly put a hand on her mouth.

"Sorry Naruto-kun, it seems someone forgot the plan." Mea sent a mock glare at Nana as she said this, said girl grinning sheepishly.

"It matters not. Before we begin, I would like to tell you all something I feel I should have told you long ago. Mikoto-kaa knows part of it, and I want this to remain secret from the Hokage until I deem it necessary. Can you do this for me?" Getting nods of affirmation in return, he continued "I am the great grandson of Uchiha Madara and Senju Hashirama."

The reaction was immediate, shock, rather surprise, covered the features of those present except Mikoto.

"The Hokage probably knows of this. May I ask how you found out?" Itachi questioned, being the quickest to get over his surprise.

"Yes, last time you said that it was a secret" was Mikoto's reply.

"You must keep calm after I say this. I got the knowledge from...the Kyūbi." Uchiha Naruto was never one to beat around the bush unless necessary.

Mikoto who was drinking water immediately spat it in a burst. Itachi, Nana and Mea widened their eyes greatly, and "ARE YOU FU<KING OUT OF YOUR MIND?!!!" was Shisui's response, which earned him a hit to the head by Mikoto.

"Language young man, there are children here." It was quite a comical scene, Shisui cowering under Mikoto's gaze while the children, who would use the 'language' themselves given the occasion, were snickering.

Itachi was the one who remained most calm, and said "I assume you have a reason to trust the Kyūbi and have some sort of agreement." As always, Itachi was perceptive.

"Yes, it finds me 'interesting' and the only person in a long while who shares traits with its 'father' the Rikudo Senin (Sage of the Six Paths)." The mention of the Sage was a shocker for all the guests, "We have a deal that I will one day find a way to let it out without dying while in the meanwhile, it doesn't try to escape and helps me by giving guidance on occasion." "And heal all those damned injuries you have after training" the Fox shouted in his mind, which made Naruto say "And yes, 'heal all my damn injuries'."

"You don't play with fire Naruto. The Kyūbi is a being of hatred that kills on whim. It's also responsible for the attack on Konoha eight years ago and your parents' deaths." All that Mikoto said had been true, to a degree.

"I'm sorry Kaa-chan but you're wrong this time. Tell me, how would you feel if you are trapped against your will in the body of a being you could kill with a sneeze for around a century? While it may be true that the Kyūbi dealt the killing blow, Tou-chan and Kaa-chan were already half-dead when they were preparing the seating. Another thing is that the attack was orchestrated by a masked Uchiha claiming to be Madara" Itachi's eyes widened a bit at this, which Naruto noticed "and that the Kyūbi was forced to attack. Now don't ask me for more details as mysteriously, the Kyūbi's memories of the event are...foggy."

"I'm sorry Naruto-kun but I was raised with the view I shared with you so do expect me to be a little bit uncooperative until I...absorb this information." Mikoto apologized indirectly to the Kyūbi.

"So that explains Naru-kun's Sharingan. Anyway let's eat, I had Naru-kun make my favorite Tonkatsu and I won't let it get cold." Mea childishly pouted as she said that.

Chuckling at the girl's antics, everyone started to eat. During dinner, among the little chitchat, the fact that the Uchiha had isolated themselves and Mea's training with Naruto caused another thought to go through Naruto's mind.

'Very suspicious. First I notice that I'm being spied on, next Sensei warns me to watch my back, and finally the Uchiha decide to isolate themselves. Fugaku was already suspicious in trying to make me the 'Uchiha's weapon' and not 'Konoha's weapon' unlike this Danzo Tou-chan spoke of. Also, the villagers seem to be getting increasingly distant from the Uchiha. What exactly is going on? I know that somehow the Uchiha are involved, if only I had a bit more knowledge.' Little did young Naruto know that he already had all the pieces to the puzzle, he just wasn't using all of them and not the right way.

"Is something wrong Naruto-kun?" asked Itachi seeing Naruto lost in thought for a second.

"No, it's nothing important." replied Naruto.

"Maybe you're just thinking about me, how to take me as your own? Na-Ru-To-sama." said Mikoto demurely, her eyes pointing towards a certain Uchiha for just a moment.

"Oh I wouldn't know about that, Mikoto-chan." was Naruto's coy reply, seeing Mikoto's subtle sign of their target.

"Naruto-kun, it would be in your best intere-" Itachi began in a slightly dark tone but was interrupted.

By none other than his mother, "Oh Itachi-chan, I knew you loved me. But alas we are mother and son so we can't be together, unless you plan to elope with me." These were the words of the only Uchiha known in the cosmos who could tease her son 'maturely'.

Upon hearing that Itachi was reminded of the reason he had long since stopped interrupting her teasing, he didn't even know how he got goaded just now. She was the ONLY person who could turn him beet red; yes turn Frigging Uchiha Itachi a shade so crimson that a fresh, red tomato would look like a cheap rip-off.

Looking at the rare sight, everyone in the room burst out into chuckling fits until they started coughing.

"Whoa, who knew Itachi-nii could be like this" was the only comment made by a still giggling, Uzumaki Mea.

"I know right, it’s like seeing something out of a dream" Uchiha Nana added her two cents.
The rest of dinner was eaten relatively normally. Itachi finished first and left for the roof, followed by Naruto who noted that it would take a while for the others to finish.

=====OFR=====
With Itachi and Naruto


"It's beautiful right? The moon shining between the clouds, dimly lighting the night sky" said Naruto as he approached the Uchiha prodigy.

"Yes, it is" Itachi said in response.

"I noticed something in the talk earlier that's been bothering me, also there's another thing which has been driving me mad for a year or so" Naruto said honestly.

"This had better not be about Kaa-san teasing me and you honestly falling for her" teased Itachi.

"While she is attractive, the matter is much more serious" Naruto adopted a serious expression as he said that, "You see, earlier in dinner when I mentioned the masked Uchiha parading around as Madara, you showed a reaction. What do you know about it? Don't worry I won't tell the Hokage, which is what I've already asked of you."

"You're quite perceptive Naruto-kun. From where this is going, I think it would be best to tell you everything once you've given me the next question as well" Itachi replied.

"You see, lately I've noticed that the village and the Uchiha have been getting rather...distant. The Uchiha's seclusion isn't doing much to quell my beliefs. It's almost as if, a...war, is about to take place." Naruto let the confusion show on his face.

Itachi's eyes widened to the size of dinner plates, "I-I've no idea what to say to that... The best way to start is to say that you are correct" Naruto's eyes widened, "First I'll explain the village's situation as technically speaking, you are involved as well. You see, the thing is that the Uchiha Clan has been targeted by the village as the perpetrators of the Kyūbi attack. This belief was initially held only by the top authority but now quite a bit of Konoha's population share it. This is so because those who enforce the law, the (Uchiha Police Force), are generally disliked by many people hence biased allegations. The Uchiha on the other hand grew tired of all this and step by step, they are getting distant from the village, and are now expected to start a coup d’état against the village. With the situation worsening Anbu are getting more active and termination seems to be the best course of action. Of course the Hokage is conducting talks but they seem to be failing."

"I-I see. I understand the need of secrecy, to be honest this is just a bit too much for me to grasp. However I'll ask, how is this related to the masked man?" Naruto questioned.

"Apparently this man also holds a dislike for the clan, how do I know this? To be honest, he came to me and discussed things...I'm not ready to disclose at the moment. Forgive me but I don't think it would be wise to let you know more than what you already know. I know you would have figured this out yourself but understand that I'm not ready to share what that man has to do with all this." Itachi was a bit uncomfortable with even telling the boy what he had, he felt like he rushed the details to him thinking that Naruto wouldn't have any issues in taking in the knowledge.

"I understand. Don't worry, I'll keep this to myself." Naruto assured, though it wasn't needed. 'I've gotten a lot more to think about. This is slowly getting tiresome and annoying.'

"I see. I have to go now, until next time." With that Itachi left in a Shunshin (Body Flicker). Naruto went back inside and found that everyone had finished eating and were chatting.

Mikoto noticed Naruto's return and questioned, "Where have you been?"

"Around" he said coolly, but one look from Mikoto and he corrected, "On the roof with Itachi-nii, he left by the way."

Naruto then took a seat and the group talked about the Academy, future arrangements and the like, of course they teased each other on occasion. At around 10:00 pm, the guests left and about half an hour later, the residents of the home went to sleep.

=====OFR=====
Next Day - Ninja Academy - Konoha


Our favorite trio had woken up rather slowly that they, though the fact that Naruto explained to them his plan to get into the same team was a factor as well. It was either Naruto and one of the girls get highest grade and the third gets dead last, or they all get an average on between score. The latter of course, was decided to be undertaken.

They were currently walking towards the building, ten minutes left until the actual academic session starts, when they saw Sarutobi Hiruzen standing near the door gesturing them to move to a side.

"Good morning Naruto-kun, Nana-kun and Mea-kun" greeted the Hokage.

"Ohayo Jiji" greeted the three, Mea and Nana having developed familiarity with the Hokage.

"As you know, Naruto's training and by extension yours as well" Hiruzen pointed towards the girls, "will have to be kept secret. This is to keep Naruto's bloodlines a secret to keep the three of you safe, as you know. Therefore what I wanted to say is that I want you to give an average performance in the academy, this is to both keep your training private and to make you three end up on the same team. Don't worry, you can 'show off' at the final exam."

"We kinda figured as much. Just make sure that we end up on the same team" Naruto requested, receiving a nod in return.

"Well then, that is all. Good luck in the Academy, I can't exactly change the curriculum too much as the other children are untrained and have little knowledge of the village. Although I did manage to get the Academic content halved and the physical content doubled. I should have done this years ago, Kami now I'll have more paperwork now when the Civilian Council finds out that I increased the Academy's passing criteria." As much of an escape paperwork provided him, needless paperwork was always avoided.

Chuckling at the Hokage's misfortune, the children went ahead to their classroom.

"You three must be Uzumaki Naruto, Uzumaki Mea and Uchiha Nana. You're the last ones to come and barely made it on the last second; don't make the same mistake again." Umino Iruka disliked the Kyūbi, yes, but Naruto, no. He just wanted to take a professional approach to him; he would be fair to him and care about him as much as the other students. After all, he shared some childhood experiences with him, being a lonely orphan and all.

Wordlessly nodding, the three moved towards the back of the class and saw three empty seats near the corner. Naruto sat near the window, Mea in the centre and Nana to her right.

Seeing that everyone was present, Iruka began, "Good morning class, today we begin our journey together which will result in many of you becoming splendid shinobi for the village. Let's start with introductions; I'll be first so you know what to say. My name is Umino Iruka, I like teaching and spending time with my friends, my hobbies are reading and eating dango, I dislike the prejudicial, traitors and those who force their will on others, and my dream is to see all my students become wonderful roots to the tree that is Konoha."

'I like him, he's not lying and he didn't use my lateness as an excuse to belittle me' Naruto thought, until he heard Iruka motion him to begin introductions, "My name is Uzumaki Naruto, I like spending time with my family and training, my hobbies are..." he paused and thought 'I can't say intermediate Fuinjutsu (Sealing Art) "reading and exercising, my dislikes are prejudicial people, those who force their will on others and those who threaten my precious people, and my dream is to... Well for now I don't have much of a dream other than to protect my precious people." The last part was the truth; in fact Naruto had lied about nothing.

Nodding, Mea understood that it was her turn, "My name is Uzumaki Mea, I like my family, my hobbies are eating and walking, I dislike prejudicial people, people who force their will on others and those who threaten my family, and my dream is to be a strong person to protect my precious people."

Nana was next, "My name is Uchiha Nana, I like to enjoy with my family, my hobbies are sleeping and walking, I dislike prejudicial people, those who force themselves on others and those who try to hurt my family, and my dream is to be strong enough to beat away all threats to those precious to me."

At this point everyone who paid attention was aware that by family the three were referring to each other and some people they knew. The rest of the introductions were pretty normal, people liking their families and friends, hobbies being gardening, walking, cloud watching in a certain Nara's case, disliking something like waiting or those who harm people close to them, and a dream like becoming Hokage or strongest in their clan.

"Now those are all admirable goals you all have, but for now you need to start with your books, and remember a strategy from this book might just save your life in the future." Iruka began to write on the board and started the lecture.

'This won't be...too bad' Naruto thought looking outside the window, not paying attention to the lecture as he already read the book a few times, 'This quietness is a bit calming.'

The same could not be said for the girls beside him who did not want to sit in the same place and learn what they already knew. Naruto noticed this and, much to their ire, smiled at them. Needless to say that these four years wouldn't be too eventful...or would they?

And cut.

How'd you like this chapter? I know it was a bit slow yet some things seemed rushed but I think that I'm going at a good pace here. Do tell me what you think.

Until next time,
Read and Review.


 
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Kuroi Honoo

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I love how this chapter starts off with Root! ^^ It’s nice to see how Naruto has honed in his daily training routines :) I loved how the two girls played around with Mikoto lol I see Fugaku being as strict as ever by unfortunately enforcing this new rule into the clan, it’s just so like him -_- Poor kindhearted Sarutobi who must deal with the hardships of his village. So this young Naruto indeed has manners and the dinner scene at the Uzumaki estate was amusing lol It was great to see a rare side such as a flustered Itachi ^^ I didn’t expect Itachi to disclose that very important and damaging information about his clan and village to Naruto but I can see why. I liked that Sarutobi aided Naruto and the two girls with their secret and team pairing :) It’s great to see these three attending the academy for the first time ^^

For a chapter without any action, I thought you did wonderfully. Your grammar and imagination as always, is fantastic and well I look forward to the next chapter! ;)
 

Michael92

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Naruto anime intro at the beginning. Knew it was familiar as I read it xD Finally that intro made sense after 9 chapters, haha ;)

Anyways, my first thought before reading was that this chapter would probably be a bit shorter than usual to match the contest deadline and from quickly scrolling through it, it kind of seems that way. I welcome that fact being my busy self at the moment, so let's get this started...

I think this chapter was neatly put together although it felt pretty stale at times. It was well written, but I felt it lacked the excitement for the lack of a better word. The humor was still present like always, but it still felt like it missed something I can't put my finger on. Itachi's presence helped paint the picture, but I have a feeling he won't play a bigger role until later for some reason. I just can't see how this alternative timeline is going to go down. For some reason I think it's going to end up becoming a drama or something, haha. Oh, and I don't know why, but I think that it would have been more impactful/mysterious, if Itachi vanished in a flock of crows instead of using the Body Flicker as well. Seems like a lot of people are running around with that technique in this timeline and I can understand why, but I would have liked to see Itachi use his trademark technique to leave a little mystery, like; "the crows flying off into the night as a bright moon surfaced on the sky," or something.

I like where this is going and like I mentioned on Chapter 7 or 6, I have a feeling something is about to happen (something always is, isn't it? xP). Overall a good chapter with a good pace. It wasn't as short as I originally thought, though perhaps a bit more crammed together due to less scenes. Anyways, keep going! ^^

Oh and I noticed the teasing alright xD I'm still waiting for that Full Village Konoha Orgy to happen soon though xD
I must say I have a feeling Naruto will somehow manage to operate bigamy later on xD That is unless someone dies that is. Over to Kuroi's chapter next before I call it a day.

I'll give this one 7/10 and for the sake of comparison, I give chapter 8 an 8/10 ;)
 

Trea

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Thanks, I enjoyed it. I know this chapter is short on action, but sometimes that's necessary for the story to progress. I like getting insights into the characters with chapters like this. How else do you get to know them or care for them? Sometimes it's nice to realize what's going on with people before all hell breaks loose. Tensions are rising and you conveyed that. Mikoto embarrassing Itachi was a nice touch. I also like that Itachi trusted Naruto enough to confide in him, I guess he figured that was better than letting him draw his own conclusions, while being able to put him off of the war idea. I'm looking forward to the next part. You're getting better with each chapter.
 

FaHaD 5212

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I love how this chapter starts off with Root! ^^ It’s nice to see how Naruto has honed in his daily training routines :) I loved how the two girls played around with Mikoto lol I see Fugaku being as strict as ever by unfortunately enforcing this new rule into the clan, it’s just so like him -_- Poor kindhearted Sarutobi who must deal with the hardships of his village. So this young Naruto indeed has manners and the dinner scene at the Uzumaki estate was amusing lol It was great to see a rare side such as a flustered Itachi ^^ I didn’t expect Itachi to disclose that very important and damaging information about his clan and village to Naruto but I can see why. I liked that Sarutobi aided Naruto and the two girls with their secret and team pairing :) It’s great to see these three attending the academy for the first time ^^

For a chapter without any action, I thought you did wonderfully. Your grammar and imagination as always, is fantastic and well I look forward to the next chapter! ;)
I had the feeling that it would explain some things (like how they saw the Sharingan without being in range to see them normally. He has to train, he can't rest easy unless he's trained at least a little. Comedy is after all a commodity which might just go down the drain in the near future. Yes, Fugaku... I don't think I've given him enough screen time, I might add him into the next chapter. Yes, Hiruzen has it rough but that's the job description of a Hokage. Those manners were albeit a ploy to catch the guests off-guard. Yes, that was actually something I wanted to add due to Michael's influence. He asked me of Itachi's neutrality to Mikoto and Naruto teasing each other 'maturely' so I decided to give the reason. Yes, like Trea says later, he could make false conclusions which would lead to problems later down the line. Yes, Sarutobi is close to Naruto and by extension the girls. I'm thinking about skipping some of the Academy years because it's basically teaching and you guys already know that stuff. Of course I'll keep the necessary scenes.

Thanks, I'll try to make my standards even higher. Also, things are about to heat up soon ;) Figure out what I mean for yourself *gives off a mysterious aura*

Naruto anime intro at the beginning. Knew it was familiar as I read it xD Finally that intro made sense after 9 chapters, haha ;)

Anyways, my first thought before reading was that this chapter would probably be a bit shorter than usual to match the contest deadline and from quickly scrolling through it, it kind of seems that way. I welcome that fact being my busy self at the moment, so let's get this started...

I think this chapter was neatly put together although it felt pretty stale at times. It was well written, but I felt it lacked the excitement for the lack of a better word. The humor was still present like always, but it still felt like it missed something I can't put my finger on. Itachi's presence helped paint the picture, but I have a feeling he won't play a bigger role until later for some reason. I just can't see how this alternative timeline is going to go down. For some reason I think it's going to end up becoming a drama or something, haha. Oh, and I don't know why, but I think that it would have been more impactful/mysterious, if Itachi vanished in a flock of crows instead of using the Body Flicker as well. Seems like a lot of people are running around with that technique in this timeline and I can understand why, but I would have liked to see Itachi use his trademark technique to leave a little mystery, like; "the crows flying off into the night as a bright moon surfaced on the sky," or something.

I like where this is going and like I mentioned on Chapter 7 or 6, I have a feeling something is about to happen (something always is, isn't it? xP). Overall a good chapter with a good pace. It wasn't as short as I originally thought, though perhaps a bit more crammed together due to less scenes. Anyways, keep going! ^^

Oh and I noticed the teasing alright xD I'm still waiting for that Full Village Konoha Orgy to happen soon though xD
I must say I have a feeling Naruto will somehow manage to operate bigamy later on xD That is unless someone dies that is. Over to Kuroi's chapter next before I call it a day.

I'll give this one 7/10 and for the sake of comparison, I give chapter 8 an 8/10 ;)
I'm sorry, I didn't quite get what you meant here.

No, actually it's about approximately 1000 words longer than usual.

I agree, I just didn't feel like it has 'that' special thing which makes it an individual chapter, something which makes it good, although now that I read it again I think I pulled it off quite well. A drama?! xd No, my reason for not adding the crow Shunshin is that Itachi has not mastered it, he can't pull it off to an acceptable degree of excellence (according to him). Almost all the people you've seen up until now are above Chunin and the Shunshin is supposedly quite popular among the Chunin.

Thanks, and yes, some major events are about to take place really quick...well maybe not quick as there's already years of tension which has miraculously not led to a major incident up until now.

Yes, the bigamy is what people on the other site want and I can give however I can also kill off one of the girls. Give me a suggestion.

I think that the ratings are suitable.

Thanks, I enjoyed it. I know this chapter is short on action, but sometimes that's necessary for the story to progress. I like getting insights into the characters with chapters like this. How else do you get to know them or care for them? Sometimes it's nice to realize what's going on with people before all hell breaks loose. Tensions are rising and you conveyed that. Mikoto embarrassing Itachi was a nice touch. I also like that Itachi trusted Naruto enough to confide in him, I guess he figured that was better than letting him draw his own conclusions, while being able to put him off of the war idea. I'm looking forward to the next part. You're getting better with each chapter.
Yes, and I think the comedy will have covered the gap. Yes, I intentionally wrote this chapter with slightly more 'character-ism' so to speak as I felt that I didn't have enough character development in the previous chapters. I think I've pointed out the fact a little too much for anyone to not be able to have a brief idea of the next chapters. Yes, that was my reason (though I think that it was also a bit whimsical of me to make this happen). Thanks :xD:
 

Michael92

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I'm sorry, I didn't quite get what you meant here.

No, actually it's about approximately 1000 words longer than usual.

I agree, I just didn't feel like it has 'that' special thing which makes it an individual chapter, something which makes it good, although now that I read it again I think I pulled it off quite well. A drama?! xd No, my reason for not adding the crow Shunshin is that Itachi has not mastered it, he can't pull it off to an acceptable degree of excellence (according to him). Almost all the people you've seen up until now are above Chunin and the Shunshin is supposedly quite popular among the Chunin.

Thanks, and yes, some major events are about to take place really quick...well maybe not quick as there's already years of tension which has miraculously not led to a major incident up until now.

Yes, the bigamy is what people on the other site want and I can give however I can also kill off one of the girls. Give me a suggestion.

I think that the ratings are suitable.
Here:

"I realize the screaming pain" - Human Speech
'Hearing loud in my brain' - Human Thought
"But I'm going straight ahead" - Biju Speech
'With this scar' - Biju Thought
Magen: Narakumi no Jutsu (Demonic Illusion: Hell Viewing Technique) – Jutsu



I always imagined these intros as random scribbling to break the mood up a little, but this was the first time I really could relate to it as the lines made sense to me/I remembered them from that Naruto opening. It all made me wonder if the others too were similar references...

Oh? xD Must be a different style or maybe it wasn't as "stretch" this time. Or maybe even it felt short because the story was so good :rolleyes: ;)

Ahh I see xD I thought Itachi was a genius since he became an Anbu Black Ops at the age of 13 and all. I shouldn't confuse your story with the manga too much I guess. Heck, the timeline here might even be totally different in a sense. Things might not happen at the given times and that is reasonable/understandable.

You really need to introduce me to those "other" people XD I dunno what to suggest really xD I think I'll just lean back and see where this ends up :rolleyes: ;)

Anyways, this might be my last reply in a weeks time since I'm leaving for Greece tomorrow, so hopefully we're all caught up to each other by that time huh, haha ;D
 

Kuroi Honoo

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I had the feeling that it would explain some things (like how they saw the Sharingan without being in range to see them normally. He has to train, he can't rest easy unless he's trained at least a little. Comedy is after all a commodity which might just go down the drain in the near future. Yes, Fugaku... I don't think I've given him enough screen time, I might add him into the next chapter. Yes, Hiruzen has it rough but that's the job description of a Hokage. Those manners were albeit a ploy to catch the guests off-guard. Yes, that was actually something I wanted to add due to Michael's influence. He asked me of Itachi's neutrality to Mikoto and Naruto teasing each other 'maturely' so I decided to give the reason. Yes, like Trea says later, he could make false conclusions which would lead to problems later down the line. Yes, Sarutobi is close to Naruto and by extension the girls. I'm thinking about skipping some of the Academy years because it's basically teaching and you guys already know that stuff. Of course I'll keep the necessary scenes.

Thanks, I'll try to make my standards even higher. Also, things are about to heat up soon ;) Figure out what I mean for yourself *gives off a mysterious aura*
Well yes, it did that so good going :)

Ooh, so your story could be heading into a much more serious, perhaps even darker path, I like I like ^^

Nice, it’s be nice to see more of Fugaku even though he’s such an intimidating man lol

Well, I’m glad that Mikey was the reason for you showing a little more into Itachi’s personality ^^

I see, it’s interesting that you say this. I of course look forward to a timeskip =D

You’re welcome and great to hear. Well, I’d have to think on that but I’m sure it’ll be fantastic and I cannot wait to see what’s in store! ;)
 

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Here:

"I realize the screaming pain" - Human Speech
'Hearing loud in my brain' - Human Thought
"But I'm going straight ahead" - Biju Speech
'With this scar' - Biju Thought
Magen: Narakumi no Jutsu (Demonic Illusion: Hell Viewing Technique) – Jutsu



I always imagined these intros as random scribbling to break the mood up a little, but this was the first time I really could relate to it as the lines made sense to me/I remembered them from that Naruto opening. It all made me wonder if the others too were similar references...

Oh? xD Must be a different style or maybe it wasn't as "stretch" this time. Or maybe even it felt short because the story was so good :rolleyes: ;)

Ahh I see xD I thought Itachi was a genius since he became an Anbu Black Ops at the age of 13 and all. I shouldn't confuse your story with the manga too much I guess. Heck, the timeline here might even be totally different in a sense. Things might not happen at the given times and that is reasonable/understandable.

You really need to introduce me to those "other" people XD I dunno what to suggest really xD I think I'll just lean back and see where this ends up :rolleyes: ;)

Anyways, this might be my last reply in a weeks time since I'm leaving for Greece tomorrow, so hopefully we're all caught up to each other by that time huh, haha ;D
Oh yes, they all (almost) do mean something...

Chapter 1 - A meme I saw on the Internet.
"The dog says woof, the duck says quack" - Human Speech
'But what does the fox say?' - Thoughts
"NARUTO, I'LL KILL YOU!" – Biju Speech
'Cheeky Brat' – Biju Thought

Chapter 2 - Some humor.
"Yo Minna-san, how are you"- Human Speech
'I really don't want to be this polite' - Human Thought
"Like you have a choice" - Biju Speech
'I really want to eat that brat and kill him' - Biju Thought

Chapter 3 - More humor.
"Ohayo" - Human Speech
'Time to prank them' - Human Thought
"Puny little humans" - Biju Speech
'Nuisances, all of them' - Biju Thought

Chapter 4 - Yet again some comedy.
"Spare me of this nonsense" - Human Speech
'What a waste of time' - Human Thought
"Now you know how I feel" - Biju Speech
'His mental banter is so annoying' - Biju Thought

Chapter 5 - A meme I found which I molded to my requirements 'Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, Be my Valentine or I'll Chidori you' based on Kakashi impaling Rin.
"Roses are red" - Human Speech
'Violets are blue' - Human Thought
"Like this story" - Biju Speech
'Or I'll Chidori you' - Biju Thought

Chapter 6 - More attempts at comedy.
"Just try to touch me" - Human Speech
'Honestly, they're so weak' - Human Thought
"This is what all you humans are" - Biju Speech
'Other than being meat bags' - Biju Thought

...

Okay, this is the first which means something xd, as is the next for chapter 10 (not released yet).

Story was good? I hardly think this was my best chapter, though I suppose it's not the worst.

He is a genius but progress takes time. He didn't use crows during the massacre and until the massacre so I made it so that...now that's spoiling.

Oh come on! Well since you're so silent about it, I'll lean towards their side =D

Greece? Well have a safe trip :)

Well yes, it did that so good going :)

Ooh, so your story could be heading into a much more serious, perhaps even darker path, I like I like ^^

Nice, it’s be nice to see more of Fugaku even though he’s such an intimidating man lol

Well, I’m glad that Mikey was the reason for you showing a little more into Itachi’s personality ^^

I see, it’s interesting that you say this. I of course look forward to a timeskip =D

You’re welcome and great to hear. Well, I’d have to think on that but I’m sure it’ll be fantastic and I cannot wait to see what’s in store! ;)
Thanks :)

I see I made that point clear, good xd

I might just give him a sentence or two because otherwise it might seem a bit forced...wait, I think I know of a scene, well you'll have to wait to find out more about Fugaku ;)

Well, the rest is an 'I see, ok' story. I'll try to finish and upload the next chapter in a few days.
 

Kuroi Honoo

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Thanks :)

I see I made that point clear, good xd

I might just give him a sentence or two because otherwise it might seem a bit forced...wait, I think I know of a scene, well you'll have to wait to find out more about Fugaku ;)

Well, the rest is an 'I see, ok' story. I'll try to finish and upload the next chapter in a few days.
You're welcome ^^

Yes you did lol

I like what I see so far and well I patiently await your next chapter! =D
 

Michael92

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Oh yes, they all (almost) do mean something...

Chapter 1 - A meme I saw on the Internet.
"The dog says woof, the duck says quack" - Human Speech
'But what does the fox say?' - Thoughts
"NARUTO, I'LL KILL YOU!" – Biju Speech
'Cheeky Brat' – Biju Thought

Chapter 2 - Some humor.
"Yo Minna-san, how are you"- Human Speech
'I really don't want to be this polite' - Human Thought
"Like you have a choice" - Biju Speech
'I really want to eat that brat and kill him' - Biju Thought

Chapter 3 - More humor.
"Ohayo" - Human Speech
'Time to prank them' - Human Thought
"Puny little humans" - Biju Speech
'Nuisances, all of them' - Biju Thought

Chapter 4 - Yet again some comedy.
"Spare me of this nonsense" - Human Speech
'What a waste of time' - Human Thought
"Now you know how I feel" - Biju Speech
'His mental banter is so annoying' - Biju Thought

Chapter 5 - A meme I found which I molded to my requirements 'Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, Be my Valentine or I'll Chidori you' based on Kakashi impaling Rin.
"Roses are red" - Human Speech
'Violets are blue' - Human Thought
"Like this story" - Biju Speech
'Or I'll Chidori you' - Biju Thought

Chapter 6 - More attempts at comedy.
"Just try to touch me" - Human Speech
'Honestly, they're so weak' - Human Thought
"This is what all you humans are" - Biju Speech
'Other than being meat bags' - Biju Thought

...

Okay, this is the first which means something xd, as is the next for chapter 10 (not released yet).

Story was good? I hardly think this was my best chapter, though I suppose it's not the worst.

He is a genius but progress takes time. He didn't use crows during the massacre and until the massacre so I made it so that...now that's spoiling.

Oh come on! Well since you're so silent about it, I'll lean towards their side =D

Greece? Well have a safe trip :)



Thanks :)

I see I made that point clear, good xd

I might just give him a sentence or two because otherwise it might seem a bit forced...wait, I think I know of a scene, well you'll have to wait to find out more about Fugaku ;)

Well, the rest is an 'I see, ok' story. I'll try to finish and upload the next chapter in a few days.
That's sure informative =p So they were inspired by something then xD ;D

The 1st one from a meme? Don't you mean the song itself? :rolleyes:

I understand, I'll be waiting for the massacre then, haha! ;)
 
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