Boa Hancock
Active member
Pick-up Lines
Oneshot
Oneshot
Zoro was lying in the sweltering heat, drops of water dripping down his rock hard abs and sinewy muscle. Any girl looking at him would immediately drool, but not this one girl. See, they rescued this shipwrecked Marine crew in the New World, and it just so happened to contain Smoker and that girl. That girl. That girl who looked too much like Kuina.
Tashigi.
Like Sanji, he knew when he felt the tugs of looking at a female. Unlike the cook though, he knew that he wasn't skilled in the art of love. They had been sailing together for a month, braving lightning islands and humongous Sea Monsters, Luffy even making friends with the other soldiers. Day by day, he found himself interacting with the blue-haired Captain. Day by day, he found himself falling. And when he realized he already fell, it was 2 days away before they were to reach their destination.
He had to do something, for he was a man of action. Yet, what was a man who only dabbled in swords and nothing else gonna do? Hatching a plan, he went to sleep early.
When Sanji woke up to cook breakfast, Zoro batted an eye and snooped around his things. He found some King's Crown cigarettes, a vat of hair gel, several combs and brushes of different sizes, some boxers that smelled a little funny, and a book called "The Essence of a Woman: Pick-up Lines." Nicking the book, he hurriedly went to his sanctuary, the crow's nest, borrowing Chopper's reading lamp on the way.
Sneaking around wasn't a bulky swordsman's forte though, and he was immediately spotted by the dartboard eyebrow.
"Hey, who's there? And what are you holding?"
Zoro immediately threw the book behind his back. He'd get it back once the fiasco at hand had abated. "None of your business, Curly Cook!"
"What, it's just the idiot Marimo."
Realizing that an argument wasn't gonna help him in any way, Zoro waved a hand and tried to find the book he threw away. Sanji shrugged and continued cooking. After almost 10 minutes of searching, he tore clumps of hair from his head. Curse my superhuman strength!
Apparently, his simple flick caused the book to end up in the water.
Zoro stood there, stunned. Well, desperate times call for desperate measures, and as soon as Sanji rang the breakfast bell he resolved to ask the first person who got out of the men's quarters about picking up women. He cringed though, since the person in question was Usopp. But he was a man of action, and so started for the sniper and kidnapped him.
"URURUGHHGHGHGFFFFFFFFFFFF -"
"Usopp, shh. I have to ask you something."
"MMMMMFFFFHFHHHGHHHGHGHGHHHHH -"
"Oh yeah, sorry."
Stumbling over his words, Zoro asked Usopp how to pick women up using pick up lines. After hearing Zoro's apology for the not-attempted murder, he then consented. After all, the Great Captain Usopp was also known as the Great Womanizer Usopp.
"Back in my day, I picked up 400 women with one line!"
"..."
Right after breakfast, he knew the girl was gonna chase him for the Wadou. Right on cue, there she was, running full speed, Shigure unsheathed. Zoro raised a hand though, and Tashigi halted, wondering what made today that different.
"Your hair is bluer than the Grand Line and baby, I'm all lost at sea."
The marine captain sheathed her sword, walked up to Zoro, and punched him in the face.
The swordsman spent the rest of the day with a bloody nose and a bruised ego.
A/N: Sorry if it's so horrible. Should I have a sequel? Lol.
Edit: A certain smiley shows up in my work, so I edited some words a bit.
