Ussop's Fable: The Brave Uncle Ussop
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Uncle Ussop: Gyahaha Strawhat Pirate Captain Uncle Ussop is here!
Cora: *thinks while smiling* ... Uncle Luffy-Ya was the Strawhat captain.
Oliver: *straight faced*....Uncle Luffy was the Strawhat captain.
Ussop: Geh..eh...Ahaaaaaa! Of course of course! Luffy was the real captain! I was just the commander of the Straw hat crew's allied forces! My 100,000 followers referred to me as Captain Ussop!
Oliver: Mother said there were 99,990 and 3/4ths allied combatants.
Uncle Ussop: *Damnit Robin, why did you go and tell them the or code number.... all 99,991 allies..... Wait* WHAT DO YIU MEAN 3/4ths!
Cora: fufufu its because Croco-ya was missing one of his four limbs. Ma-ya and Pa-ya talked to us about it and we all agreed his missing limb, and alliance out of common interest counted him as less than one person...so we based him on the three of four limbs available.
Uncle Ussop: *Why do they even talk about something like that* a-anyways... M-maybe I'll save my heroic role in the final battle for another day. Let's get back to your parents!
*As they turn to leave, the Cora steps only to feel a significant mass under her foot*
Cora: Hm? Ara, I think I stepped on something. Oh, it's a frog. I think it died from blunt force trauma... I put a bit of pressure on it...
Uncle Ussop: *with a bead of sweat he mumbles* You could have just said it died because you stepped on it...
Oliver: Heheh if you had stepped a little harder it might have exploded.
Cora: fufufu i think that's right. Either way poor frog-ya passes on.
Uncle Ussop: *What's with these kids!*
*the short walk from the ocean side to a modest home takes Ussop to the company of Robin and Law*
Robin: ara! Cora, Oliver, Ussop, welcome home
Cora: Look Pa-ya, Ma-ya on our way back from fishing with Uncle Ussop-ya, I stepped on a frog. Pa-ya,, did it die from blunt force trauma?
Law: hmm...well from the looks of it I'd say the pressure from your foot probably only knocked it out, it seems more likely it temporarily lost consciousness, and regained it...only by then has lost too much blood to move. I suppose technically the blunt force killed it, but more accurately it bled to death from internal bleeding.
Uncle Ussop: WHY WOULD YOU ANSWER THAT QUESTION!
Cora: Can we dissect it so I can see how that looks? Is that ok Ma-Ya?
Robin: Fufufu that's fine, though dinner is at 7... So you can only spend 5 hours dissecting Frog-San! Poor thing, if you had put more pressure on him he might have exploded
Uncle Ussop: Who dissects a frog for 5 hours.... and WHY WOUKD YOU MENTION EXPLODING FROGS!
Cora: Ni-ya do you wanna come?
Oliver: Nah, mother brought home some artifacts from her last trip. I'm going to help her clean them up, and then maybe work on expanding the garden.
Cora: Oh ok, come with us Uncle Ussop-Ya! When you tell lies I usually focus on imagining them more. I think that improves my chances of accidentally stepping on small animals. That way I can dissect them with Pa-ya without feeling as bad.
Uncle Ussop: *being dragged toward the town clinic by Cora he begins mumbling dumbstruck* eh... I improve death....lies.....why do I visit this place....
Oliver: Mother, why does Uncle Ussop lie so much?
Robin: ufufufu He does make stories much more interesting doesn't he? They can be rather amusing!
Oliver: hmm...I guess you're right. If the number of people he tells in his stories were around, there'd be more artifacts for the future after they all die.
Robin: *laughingly* you think so?
