Nothing Is What It Seems Chapter 13

[Bodhisattva]

Yes, I wanna know! I can handle the truth... O.O

Great action scenes! I felt like I was in the room watching it in HD. xd

So, why is it that good songs always come on when I read your works?
*sigh* so this time it was:
Rage Against The Machine - Roll Right

 

[Seffy]

Yes, I wanna know! I can handle the truth... O.O

Great action scenes! I felt like I was in the room watching it in HD. xd

So, why is it that good songs always come on when I read your works?
*sigh* so this time it was:
Rage Against The Machine - Roll Right

lol maybe because you plan it! ^_^
Idk just great timing I guess.
:rofl: I'm glad you enjoyed it!
I've heard of that band via guitar hero I think...I'm not sure anymore i'd have to check it out!

 

[Reborn]

:T_T: you left me with a cliffhanger :T_T: How do you expect me to wait so long to find out Trevor's reasons for killing Gabriel's family, the suspence is killing me :T_T: *gazes to see chapters 14 and 15* -_- wait nevermind.

I loved that battle, in the type of stories I do, there isn't much dialouge that can be worked in with the battles, I mean with shinobi, you have the opening dialoge when each character spouts their playful banter or serious exclimation then the battle, then the ending words. You'll occasionally have the side comments here and there when one character is getting his ass handed to him and the other is handing him the ass xd O_O but that's it.

I really enjoyed how you had Vincint and Trevor with the conversation in their battle, multi-tasking ftw, and finally Vincint gets the win over Trevor.

Score Board

Vincint: 1
Trevor: 10+

Trevor: I still have more wins then you little bro

Vincint: But not all of them bitch! Haha

Trevor: -_-

And I love how you ended the chapter with that little suspence with revealing the situation behind Gabriel's clan/father's murder and everything. The whole ending of the chapter with Lizzy being betrothed to the king or whatever, this seems like it's leading up to a climax, a build of everything and shit's about to get real xd (from the words of Kevin Hart)

On to chapter 14, and I promise I'll be a good student from now on and stay up to date with your chapters and hopefully epicness will rub off on me that's the only way I can improve my writing at this point.

 

[Seffy]

:T_T: you left me with a cliffhanger :T_T: How do you expect me to wait so long to find out Trevor's reasons for killing Gabriel's family, the suspence is killing me :T_T: *gazes to see chapters 14 and 15* -_- wait nevermind.

I loved that battle, in the type of stories I do, there isn't much dialouge that can be worked in with the battles, I mean with shinobi, you have the opening dialoge when each character spouts their playful banter or serious exclimation then the battle, then the ending words. You'll occasionally have the side comments here and there when one character is getting his ass handed to him and the other is handing him the ass xd O_O but that's it.

I really enjoyed how you had Vincint and Trevor with the conversation in their battle, multi-tasking ftw, and finally Vincint gets the win over Trevor.

Score Board

Vincint: 1
Trevor: 10+

Trevor: I still have more wins then you little bro

Vincint: But not all of them bitch! Haha

Trevor: -_-

And I love how you ended the chapter with that little suspence with revealing the situation behind Gabriel's clan/father's murder and everything. The whole ending of the chapter with Lizzy being betrothed to the king or whatever, this seems like it's leading up to a climax, a build of everything and shit's about to get real xd (from the words of Kevin Hart)

On to chapter 14, and I promise I'll be a good student from now on and stay up to date with your chapters and hopefully epicness will rub off on me that's the only way I can improve my writing at this point.

Yes in Chapter 16, it does get real Ty for reading it Reborn, your feed back is much appreciated! Yes multitasking ftw! I felt that the conversation was just right. I mean between brothers, there will always be that teasing and such, so I thought it was appropriate. Chapter 14 isn't my fave and tastes like a filler to me >.> I hope that my works give you ideas and help you improve <3 ^_^

 

[Aze]

This affected me on a personal level, It has some unique atributes wat I see for the first time.

Have you had some lessons by a proffesional?

If not then your suberb^^

The Psychological factor is incredible.

That's why I gonna Rep this.

 

[Seffy]

This affected me on a personal level, It has some unique atributes wat I see for the first time.

Have you had some lessons by a proffesional?

If not then your suberb^^

The Psychological factor is incredible.

That's why I gonna Rep this.

Ty so much for reading! :hug:
I've taken a creative writing class my senior year of high school, but I've been writing for a long time.
I'm glad it affected you on a personal level, I aim for that with my ff's ^_^
To some it maybe a story, to me I take it a step further.
I pour myself into the words and shoot to make it come off the page.
To make it feel realistic. :izuna:
+rep for you taking the time to read and comment.

 

[Rand al'Thor]

had tocomment..superb..meh who am i kidding every one of your fanfic is good..

 

[Seffy]

had tocomment..superb..meh who am i kidding every one of your fanfic is good..

:hug: ty ^_^ glad you enjoy them! <3

 

[~Uzumaki~]

This is the true meaning of awesome. Wow, just wow, are there really any words? This fight is so amazing. Trevor getting his a-s-s handed to him was sorta unexpected though. Well, the alternative is Vince getting killed so I guess this was the best outcome but Trevor is still the most awesome and no one can deny it.

 

[Seffy]

This is the true meaning of awesome. Wow, just wow, are there really any words? This fight is so amazing. Trevor getting his a-s-s handed to him was sorta unexpected though. Well, the alternative is Vince getting killed so I guess this was the best outcome but Trevor is still the most awesome and no one can deny it.

There may be some bad blood between the two, but they are still brothers. They may put up a tough front but they wouldn't willingly just kill each other. glad you liked it! ^_^ Trevor is truly awesome :scorps:

 

[Kuroi Honoo]

First of all I finally caught up!!!!! It took awhile but the deed is done xd I must say superb grammar, spelling, punctuation and story writing! I love the fact that it was original and not Naruto-related as that in itself takes skill. I like how explanatory you were on the characters and their individual development. Your attention to detail was extraordinary. I didn’t expect a novel-like fic but you pulled it off brilliantly. In the beginning, when I was reading, I honestly questioned where the story would go as it seemed to be slice of life but you completely morphed it lol I wish I could type up a wall of text however, your work was just too satisfactory for me to critique, etc. You’ve done a grand job and I’m sorry to hear that your story is discontinued at the moment but hopefully you will get back to work soon!

 

[Seffy]

First of all I finally caught up!!!!! It took awhile but the deed is done xd I must say superb grammar, spelling, punctuation and story writing! I love the fact that it was original and not Naruto-related as that in itself takes skill. I like how explanatory you were on the characters and their individual development. Your attention to detail was extraordinary. I didn’t expect a novel-like fic but you pulled it off brilliantly. In the beginning, when I was reading, I honestly questioned where the story would go as it seemed to be slice of life but you completely morphed it lol I wish I could type up a wall of text however, your work was just too satisfactory for me to critique, etc. You’ve done a grand job and I’m sorry to hear that your story is discontinued at the moment but hopefully you will get back to work soon!

I really appreciate your input! It means a lot to me that you read it. I promise to read yours as well! Truth be told, I can't write anime based ff's, it just always pales in comparison to the real version so I never try.

I actually rushed a lot with most of my ff chapters and I wish I had taken my time. Though I am doing some serious writing with my novel edit; even adding events that I wanted to add in my ff. I must say though that chapter 16 is the one I'm most proud of, maybe that's why I find it hard to write.

Though I already have the vision for how the story will end, I lack motivation to actually write it. xd Thank you again ^_^

 

[Kuroi Honoo]

I really appreciate your input! It means a lot to me that you read it. I promise to read yours as well! Truth be told, I can't write anime based ff's, it just always pales in comparison to the real version so I never try.

I actually rushed a lot with most of my ff chapters and I wish I had taken my time. Though I am doing some serious writing with my novel edit; even adding events that I wanted to add in my ff. I must say though that chapter 16 is the one I'm most proud of, maybe that's why I find it hard to write.

Though I already have the vision for how the story will end, I lack motivation to actually write it. xd Thank you again ^_^

Your welcome, and truth be told even thought I'm patient when it comes to my friends-I honesty can't wait for your opinion over my FF! ^.^ Wow, I'm surprised as you have such skill and I think you could do an excellent job with anime/manga related stories. I see, well maybe if you take a look back to your chapters that may spark some inspiration. Maybe doing some research like looking medieval times or checking out some middle age movies. That's my advice but things can also simply flow into your mind when you get ready to type so best of luck to you and now I've got to find chapters 14/15 lol

 

[Seffy]

Your welcome, and truth be told even thought I'm patient when it comes to my friends-I honesty can't wait for your opinion over my FF! ^.^ Wow, I'm surprised as you have such skill and I think you could do an excellent job with anime/manga related stories. I see, well maybe if you take a look back to your chapters that may spark some inspiration. Maybe doing some research like looking medieval times or checking out some middle age movies. That's my advice but things can also simply flow into your mind when you get ready to type so best of luck to you and now I've got to find chapters 14/15 lol

I will hopefully be able to get to it the end of this week/weekend. :scorps: Thank you and I don't have writer's block I'm just more so on the fence I suppose. Part of me wants to finish it and the other is tugging on me and questioning if I should. I have it all plotted out, just feel lazy when it comes to writing is all. Thank you for your advice! You will understand better when you catch up, so you can see where I'm going with it.