I'll be your friend if you pay me, no interactions Monday-Saturday, one hour on Sunday, wait, y'know what, scratch that, ten minutes on Sunday. You'll have to feed me five square meals a day, I get full access to your wi-fi, social security, bank account, and any other extremely personal possessions, you'll make me sandwiches upon my request, and can only act when I wave my index finger in a back and four motion, understand?