Need a strong opinion

[Vanderfee]

I've made a really personal poem in which I'll use it to finally break the ice in my school. Not the point. I want someone's strong opinion to check for any mistakes and/ or to give out any suggestions to make it better. If interested, I'll PM you the poem. I'm having a hard time posting all of it into a thread so hope you mind.

It's called...Dark Silver Lining.

Sample Stanza:

Always remember to be strong.

Don't forget to smile, prove them wrong.

Cherish every day you're alive...

Live with a reason to survive.

 

[Zatack]

And you will find where you belong, should make it AABBA standard limerick

 

[Vanderfee]

I never tried doing the kind of pattern before. I'm used to AABB.

It'll be hard to integrate another A as the last line on each stanza but thanks for the suggestion

 

[Zatack]

Yeah generally i use AABB as well, but for some reason english teachers, or writers like the add the A at the end. Not sure why i guess they figure if you break the chain its the end.

 

[Vanderfee]

They can't be that strict yo. Luckily, we're not forced to write one on the finals. Poetry is as deadly as writing an essay.

 

[LadyHaruno]

Not bad, but very basic. You could play with the words a lot more, finding synonyms and other dynamic ways of saying things.

 

[Zatack]

Still its a great poem. I guess my professors are just evil then. lol

 

[Hori]

what a conversation I'm reading