DragonLord: I LOVE PARTIES!!!
Caliburn: Then you're in for a surprise when you see the new party you'll be attending.
Mugiwara: It's called, "Perma-Ban".
DragonLord: Perma-ban!? That's sounds... Like a kick-ass party! Where is it?
Caliburn lifts up his hammer.
Caliburn: I'm not sure where it goes, but my Ban-Hammer takes people there.
DragonLord: But you hit me with it, and it didn't take me anywere. Does that mean I'm not invited?
Nexus: You'll have a personal invitation written by me when this is over. You'll know what it is, because it'll say "Restraining Order from NarutoBase" at the top.
Rei: Nexus, if you want to ban him, why don't we?
Nexus: Because some idiot decided that we had to be more democratic.
Sharingdork + ~Deidara~: Both in the audience. HEY!
Sharingdork: He's talking about me; the court was my idea. Everything else was yours.
~Deidara~: Oh, alright.
Nexus: Can we move on?
DragonLord: Of course.
DragonLord stands up, and paces sophistically.
DragonLord: I have a stupid job. I sit for hours and write down what peole say. Mr. Reporter, could you please read my last statement back to the court?
Zise: I have a stupid job. I sit for hours and- HEY!
DragonLord falls into his chair, laughing his head off.
DragonLord: Laughing. The defence rests.
Howard: NO! The defence does not rest, your honor.
Nexus sighes, and gestures to Howard, too depressed at having to do this case to speak.
Howard: Dragonlord has something to say, don't you DL?
DragonLord: I do?
Howard (To DragonLord): Like we rehearsed
DragonLord: Oh yeah! I do! Mr. Nexus
Yard: Sama
DragonLord: I would like to bring my alternate acco- I- I mean my witnesses to the stand.
Nexus: and where are they?
Dragon Lord points to the other side of the courtroom.
DragonLord: Uhh..Quick! Look over there!
Everyone looks to the other side of the room while DragonLord puts on a wig. After a few seconds they all look back over to DragonLord and notice that he put a wig on.
Nexus: You've got to be kidding me. Like anyone is going to fall for that! Someone would have to be really stupid to fall for such a lame tri-
Yard: Oh my god! Wheres DragonLord!? He was just here!
Nexus: Sighs. Exactly.
Caliburn: This...is the guy who has to defend the staff...
Yard notices the wig on DragonLords head and thinks he's a woman.
Yard: Well hello there...
Caliburn: Yard! No! It's a trick!
Yard: But Cali...Tricks are for kids!
Nexus notices Yard standing beside the DragonLord with a slight smile on his face.
Yard: So, what's your name lil lady?
DragonLord: Well..uhh. my name is Alt number 243..I, I mean..
Yard: Alt number 243? That's such a beautiful name...
Caliburn: Yard, it's DragonLord with a wig
-__-
Yard: Woah, calm down, you're messin up my flow, homie.
Nexus: Howard, where are you going with this?
Howard: Well your honor, DragonLords alts aren't alts. He has multiple personality disorder.
Yard: So he's afraid of cats?
Howard: Yes Yard, he's afraid of cats.
Yard: I share your pain Dawg U_U
Nexus: So when did Yard join a gang?
Howard: That's just how he acts when he's trying to get a girl.
Yard suddenly has a backwards baseball cap on his head and a chain neck-less hanging from his neck.
Yard: Playah foe life.
Nexus: You look like you just stepped out of a vanilla Ice music video.
Yard suddenly has sunglasses on.
Yard: Haterz gon' hate.
Caliburn: Could be worse, he could be using internet memes.
Yard looks to Nexus, then at his gavel.
Yard: YO DAWG, I HEARD YOU LIKE GAVELS, SO I PUT A GAVEL IN YOUR GAVEL SO YOU CAN GAVEL WHILE YOU GAVEL.
Caliburn: Oh my god, he found away to mix both, that sick, sick bastard. O_O
Nexus: Let's just get on with this before I lose what little sanity I still have left.
Yard: I'ight.
Nexus: So Howard you're trying to get DragonLord to plead insanity?
Howard: Yes your honor. As you can see, his alts are actually personalities in his own mind. Sometimes he's him, and sometimes he's someone else. There is no proof that denies that.
Nexus takes his cellphone out of his pocket, dials a number and holds the phone to his ear as it rings.
Howard: What are you doing?
Nexus: Getting proof...
Hellsbadass answers the phone as the sound of porn plays in the background, and the phone is set to speaker mode so the court can hear him.
Hells: It's a guy.
He quickly hangs up.
Howard: How did he know even tho he's not here?
Nexus: Don't question, just be amazed.
Yard: So DragonLord isn't afraid of cats?
Howard: He never was.
Nexus: Okay Howard, call someone to the stand. And his time, let it be an actual witness.
Howard: I called over 500 to the stand, but like my customs, they were declined.
Nexus: That's because they were all ALTs.
Howard: Fine then. I call PHILLIP to the stand!
Howard points as dramatic music plays.
Nexus: Music cuts off abruptly. Who the hell is Phillip?
Howard: My nickle.
Nexus: Your nickle...?
Howard: And my balloon.
Nexus: Bailiff, pop the balloon.
Howard: NOOOO! Nexus, I was calling the nickle to the stand, not the balloon. Don't pop Phillip, he has a wife and kids at home.
Yard: I object.
Nexus: To what!? He hasn't even called a witness!
Yard: Nexus-san-sama-sensei-senpai-sama-san-chan-kun-desu-bra-bro-buddy-pal-friend-guy-lady-person-man-dude-homeskillet-homeslice-son-mom-dad-cousin-brother-uncle-sister-cousin-twice-removed-related-to-my-dead-aunt-gurty-that-I-never-met-let-alone-talked-to.
Howard owes me a nickle
Howard: Lies! I don't owe Yard nothing, especially not Phillip.
Nexus (Thinking): If I can get him to decide between the nickle and defending DragonLord, I'm sure the choice will end this case...
Nexus: Howard, who do you like more? DragonLord? Or Phillip?
Howard: Phillip of course.
Nexus: Then either agree to DragonLord being guilty or I will warp Phillip to another demension. ^_^
Howard: DragonLord is guilty as hell.
Nexus then looks over at DragonLord, grinning evily.
Nexus: Now as for you DragonLord, I have something special in mind for your punishment. I sentence you to a thousand years of rape!
Yard: You're sending him to Alcatraz !?
Nexus: No, something far, far worse than any man could imagine! I'm sending him straight to hell!...s' living room!
He brushes his hair back from his right eye with his right hand, revealing his doujutsu. A portal then opens up around DragonLord sending him to Hell's house where Hells is watching porn on his couch and DragonLord appears sitting in Hells' lap, wearing a pink dress with make up on.
Hells: Well hellooo there.
DragonLord: NO NO NO!
Loud wild screams are heard from Hells' house and continue to be heard for 1000 years. DragonLord is never seen again.
______________________________________________________
Caliburn: Then you're in for a surprise when you see the new party you'll be attending.
Mugiwara: It's called, "Perma-Ban".
DragonLord: Perma-ban!? That's sounds... Like a kick-ass party! Where is it?
Caliburn lifts up his hammer.
Caliburn: I'm not sure where it goes, but my Ban-Hammer takes people there.
DragonLord: But you hit me with it, and it didn't take me anywere. Does that mean I'm not invited?
Nexus: You'll have a personal invitation written by me when this is over. You'll know what it is, because it'll say "Restraining Order from NarutoBase" at the top.
Rei: Nexus, if you want to ban him, why don't we?
Nexus: Because some idiot decided that we had to be more democratic.
Sharingdork + ~Deidara~: Both in the audience. HEY!
Sharingdork: He's talking about me; the court was my idea. Everything else was yours.
~Deidara~: Oh, alright.
Nexus: Can we move on?
DragonLord: Of course.
DragonLord stands up, and paces sophistically.
DragonLord: I have a stupid job. I sit for hours and write down what peole say. Mr. Reporter, could you please read my last statement back to the court?
Zise: I have a stupid job. I sit for hours and- HEY!
DragonLord falls into his chair, laughing his head off.
DragonLord: Laughing. The defence rests.
Howard: NO! The defence does not rest, your honor.
Nexus sighes, and gestures to Howard, too depressed at having to do this case to speak.
Howard: Dragonlord has something to say, don't you DL?
DragonLord: I do?
Howard (To DragonLord): Like we rehearsed
DragonLord: Oh yeah! I do! Mr. Nexus
Yard: Sama
DragonLord: I would like to bring my alternate acco- I- I mean my witnesses to the stand.
Nexus: and where are they?
Dragon Lord points to the other side of the courtroom.
DragonLord: Uhh..Quick! Look over there!
Everyone looks to the other side of the room while DragonLord puts on a wig. After a few seconds they all look back over to DragonLord and notice that he put a wig on.
Nexus: You've got to be kidding me. Like anyone is going to fall for that! Someone would have to be really stupid to fall for such a lame tri-
Yard: Oh my god! Wheres DragonLord!? He was just here!
Nexus: Sighs. Exactly.
Caliburn: This...is the guy who has to defend the staff...
Yard notices the wig on DragonLords head and thinks he's a woman.
Yard: Well hello there...
Caliburn: Yard! No! It's a trick!
Yard: But Cali...Tricks are for kids!
Nexus notices Yard standing beside the DragonLord with a slight smile on his face.
Yard: So, what's your name lil lady?
DragonLord: Well..uhh. my name is Alt number 243..I, I mean..
Yard: Alt number 243? That's such a beautiful name...
Caliburn: Yard, it's DragonLord with a wig
-__-
Yard: Woah, calm down, you're messin up my flow, homie.
Nexus: Howard, where are you going with this?
Howard: Well your honor, DragonLords alts aren't alts. He has multiple personality disorder.
Yard: So he's afraid of cats?
Howard: Yes Yard, he's afraid of cats.
Yard: I share your pain Dawg U_U
Nexus: So when did Yard join a gang?
Howard: That's just how he acts when he's trying to get a girl.
Yard suddenly has a backwards baseball cap on his head and a chain neck-less hanging from his neck.
Yard: Playah foe life.
Nexus: You look like you just stepped out of a vanilla Ice music video.
Yard suddenly has sunglasses on.
Yard: Haterz gon' hate.
Caliburn: Could be worse, he could be using internet memes.
Yard looks to Nexus, then at his gavel.
Yard: YO DAWG, I HEARD YOU LIKE GAVELS, SO I PUT A GAVEL IN YOUR GAVEL SO YOU CAN GAVEL WHILE YOU GAVEL.
Caliburn: Oh my god, he found away to mix both, that sick, sick bastard. O_O
Nexus: Let's just get on with this before I lose what little sanity I still have left.
Yard: I'ight.
Nexus: So Howard you're trying to get DragonLord to plead insanity?
Howard: Yes your honor. As you can see, his alts are actually personalities in his own mind. Sometimes he's him, and sometimes he's someone else. There is no proof that denies that.
Nexus takes his cellphone out of his pocket, dials a number and holds the phone to his ear as it rings.
Howard: What are you doing?
Nexus: Getting proof...
Hellsbadass answers the phone as the sound of porn plays in the background, and the phone is set to speaker mode so the court can hear him.
Hells: It's a guy.
He quickly hangs up.
Howard: How did he know even tho he's not here?
Nexus: Don't question, just be amazed.
Yard: So DragonLord isn't afraid of cats?
Howard: He never was.
Nexus: Okay Howard, call someone to the stand. And his time, let it be an actual witness.
Howard: I called over 500 to the stand, but like my customs, they were declined.
Nexus: That's because they were all ALTs.
Howard: Fine then. I call PHILLIP to the stand!
Howard points as dramatic music plays.
Nexus: Music cuts off abruptly. Who the hell is Phillip?
Howard: My nickle.
Nexus: Your nickle...?
Howard: And my balloon.
Nexus: Bailiff, pop the balloon.
Howard: NOOOO! Nexus, I was calling the nickle to the stand, not the balloon. Don't pop Phillip, he has a wife and kids at home.
Yard: I object.
Nexus: To what!? He hasn't even called a witness!
Yard: Nexus-san-sama-sensei-senpai-sama-san-chan-kun-desu-bra-bro-buddy-pal-friend-guy-lady-person-man-dude-homeskillet-homeslice-son-mom-dad-cousin-brother-uncle-sister-cousin-twice-removed-related-to-my-dead-aunt-gurty-that-I-never-met-let-alone-talked-to.
Howard owes me a nickle
Howard: Lies! I don't owe Yard nothing, especially not Phillip.
Nexus (Thinking): If I can get him to decide between the nickle and defending DragonLord, I'm sure the choice will end this case...
Nexus: Howard, who do you like more? DragonLord? Or Phillip?
Howard: Phillip of course.
Nexus: Then either agree to DragonLord being guilty or I will warp Phillip to another demension. ^_^
Howard: DragonLord is guilty as hell.
Nexus then looks over at DragonLord, grinning evily.
Nexus: Now as for you DragonLord, I have something special in mind for your punishment. I sentence you to a thousand years of rape!
Yard: You're sending him to Alcatraz !?
Nexus: No, something far, far worse than any man could imagine! I'm sending him straight to hell!...s' living room!
He brushes his hair back from his right eye with his right hand, revealing his doujutsu. A portal then opens up around DragonLord sending him to Hell's house where Hells is watching porn on his couch and DragonLord appears sitting in Hells' lap, wearing a pink dress with make up on.
Hells: Well hellooo there.
DragonLord: NO NO NO!
Loud wild screams are heard from Hells' house and continue to be heard for 1000 years. DragonLord is never seen again.
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END OF CASE
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