NB and Human Evolution

Flaw

Active member
Legendary
Joined
Jun 8, 2008
Messages
14,294
Kin
29💸
Kumi
2,500💴
Trait Points
0⚔️
Just the result of a night's boredom and lack of smokes. I'll write more depending on how many people like/hate it.
A scientist's Diary
S u b j e c t 1
Theos

Somewhere on a dark alley, with bushes on every side of the road, around 10PM GMT +13.

Theos*to himself* : I don't get what's os funny. 'If you have a bucket containing 5 litres of water, and another one containing 7 litres.
How many buckets do you have?' The answer is clearly 12!!!! Why were the others laughing so hard ? Hmpf...Bathetic.

Going down the road, with a rather offended expression laying upon his face, our hero comes across something very odd, which appeared to be
darker that the night. Curious, Theos sticks his finger in the misterious substance, looking closely at it, examining it for about 5 minutes. Finally, his superior and cautious survival instinct drives him into laying some of the strange substance on his own tongue.
In the same time, a full analisys of the strange symbiote was being layed down in his head by his extremely sensitive gustative senses, untill he finally added :

Theos: Hmm...This is dog shit. HAH! I almost stepped in it. But of course I didn't. Only an idiot would step in dog shit!

A kid from vis-a-vis was watching the scene shocked. And then it happened. Lightning struck, as his look met Theos', the Angels Cried, Cloud breaker, and...Theos released
a lethal fart which forced the crows in a nearby tree to fly away, leaving the leaves, which fell one by one by the oath of the odor, for dead. The scared kid ran away, hopeless and crying.

Theos: Fawking newb. Beotch got pwwwwwwwwwwwwnd.

Theos continued walking down the road, then he took left, left,left,left ahead, left, left.

Theos: This place looks familiar. Hmm this is some odd symbiote right here, he said repeating the earlier process. Hmm...This is dog shit. HAH! I almost stepped in it.
But of course I didn't. Only an idiot would step in dog shit! Oh, no I remember, I'm supposed to take a right, here. Damn, I'm probably late.

Following the map which seemed drawn by a right handed person's left hand, he arrived to an empty park.

Theos: Not a single soul in here.

Suddenly, a voice from behind barely made itself clear:

Person: Hello, you!

At the sound of the voice, Theos turned around in a flash, pointing an invisible gun at the new-comer.

Theos: I shall not fear you, shadow! Reveal yourself and leave, for I do not wish any harm upon any of us!

Person: You crapped your pants, big boy.

Theos: W-Wait, no, I ate some dog crap earlier on the road.

Person: How's that supposed to make things any better ?

Theos: It's not like that! I was forced to! I didn't know what it was! Now who are you?

The shadow approached our hero. As his face was almost uncovered, he added:

Person: I'd rather stay hidden, thank you, the stench makes my nose ache.

Theos: What do you want ?

Person: You!

Theos: Gay.

Person: No.

*Awkward silence for 10 seconds*

Theos: Why do you want me ?

Person: Lately, a theory about humans evolving from apes has crossed many scientist's minds, and it revloves around you and this city, Cretinsvile...

Theos: Me and this city?

Person: We think, you are some sort of rare species, situated somewhere between the second and the third state of human evolution, acording to this scheme :
You must be registered for see images


Theos: I don't get it!

Person: Exactly my point!

The wind blew the autumn leaves away from the trees, as a couple of stars made their appearance on the dark sky.

Person: Didin't you wonder, why you are so different ? Why people laugh at you, and why they treat you with disrespect? I have your answers!

Theos: Umm..What?

Person: I have candy.

Theos: Trick or treat, smell my feet!

Person: Get in the van. Though not before you take a swim in that lake. Don't forget, young sire, you still smell like shit.




Next chapter: The Labs, and the other subjects
 
Top