NARUTO: the age of eternal darkness part 2

[Makoto Yuki]

*scene: sky country,middle day,*
* camera pans to a castle with Smoke comming from it*


Zane:....hmmm...you call yourselves shinobi

Sky ninja: .....please don't kill us.....we will do your every bidding

Zane:.....hmmm...us that so?

Sky ninja: yes.....yes sir anything.......just speare us

Zane:....fine...ill come back when.....when..i need you

Sky ninja:.... thank you..*gets up and runs *


*the camera goes black and cuts to the leaf village*


Naruto:....now this us the life*puts feet on desk*

*tsunade walks in*

Naruto:......hehehe.....what* takes feet off desk*

Tsunade:......we have found madara's body in the sky village ........one of the ninja told us about. It..
...

Naruto:..madara is dead???????....it took.me the kyuubi to get a scratch on him......

Tsunade:......i know....but the ninja said something else. To.........he satisfy one ninja took out there entire clan in a matter of an hour......naruto....this guy is no joke

Naruto: i know i know

 

[YohuroO]

ur english is pwetty bad xd

 

[Escorpiius]

ur english is pwetty bad xd

Well, even you posted your comment in bad English but yes, your English needs improvement! Both vocabulary (less bad) and in grammar (quite awful to say)!

Storyline does not matter much is presentation is very bad. It disinterests the reader before even he begins and that, you'll need to work on.

 

[YohuroO]

that "pwetty" was a joke

 

[sasuke197]

it's not that bad at least he tried.

 

[Makoto Yuki]

i did this on my phone...,for some odd reason it swiched out words