Naruto: Tetsuden - 098

Chakra Wizard

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This one’s pretty short by my normal standards, but that should be a nice change of pace*_* lol Hope you enjoy:)

Here’s my previous chapters, for those who missed any:











Chapter 098: Eastern Advancement


Across the scattered islets that made up the majority of the Land of Water’s landmass, the members of Fourth Division laid in wait for their scouts to return with reports on their enemy locations. As the weakest of their three opponents in terms of shinobi quality and quantity, it was decided to spend the majority of the Union’s efforts on squashing Unagi’s forces, a goal intended to hasten the duration of the war. Stationed on a small isle ahead of the remainder of Rounin and Mei’s forces, a small squadron of samurai awaited the return of two of their own, eagerly awaiting their reports. Within fifteen minutes, they returned in a sprint across the vast waters and walked up to their leader to give the news.

????: They’re twenty miles out, Captain. Set up on that large island due northeast.

????: We picked out four shinobi as having bandages around their necks. …They were each carrying their own unique weapon.

Sporting his trademark wicked grin, Airon stood up with his sword in hand, gazing off towards the island in question as he stepped forward.

Airon: Well, I’m sure our three defectors will wanna have a go at them theirselves, so we’ll just do our best to steer clear of them. …If by accident, we run into them later on…well, you can’t blame me for trying to fight the temptation.

He turned back around expecting his troops to join in his amusement, only to find silence and faces either blank or impeded by their helmets. Yet another disappointment Airon found quite unlike the war movies he drew inspiration from, he shrugged off the brief episode with a smug look before taking out a kunai and handing to the nearest samurai, garbed in blue armor and without a helmet.

Airon: Anyways, I’ll go on ahead and set up our ambush point on the other side of the island. Niyo, you hold onto this and keep the others in check until I’m back. (God, not one sense of humor out of the whole bunch. This was supposed to be fun.)

Niyo: Copy, Captain. (God, I wish he’d stop joking around so much. This is supposed to be a war.)

He darted across the water in the following second, making good time like only a member of his clan could. From afar, Niyo signaled to the primary regiment, whose lookout in turn signaled to Mei and Rounin.

Mei: They’ve made their move.

Rounin: (He nodded and held his hand up for the masses behind him to see.) Then it’s time to make ours. Start moving out.

Quickly and without question, their forces exited their islets and moved across the water, each garbed in attire of varying shades of blue as a means of hopeful camouflage. Surprisingly, it worked quite well against the majority of the enemy forces, but their more elite ninja knew the waters and their motions and colors all too well. Chief among those stationed on the island scouted by Airon’s forces was a young robed man, hardly a year older than Airon himself, and a slightly older woman with light-green hair which framed her face, peering off into the distance through her binoculars.

????: Ichigo, they’re on the move.

Ichigo: (He nodded as he stood there, arms crossed.) I felt them, Ruko. You and Saidai start setting up our cover. …Remind those traitors what village they hail from.

The girl nodded and stood up beside a tall brown-haired man who was older still, and the two formed several hand signs in unison, calling forth a thick fog from the surrounding water that hid the entire isle from view. Noting the tension amounting in the air, Ichigo turned to the young woman kneeling beside him, clothed in minimal white attire with her right eye hidden by her pale-blue hair. She rested one hand atop a giant mallet, while the other twirled the axe end of her signature weapon, the “bluntsword” Kabutowari.

Ichigo: Mikan, you try running off, I’ll see to it personally that you don’t leave this battlefield alive.

Mikan: (She scowled in his direction, clearly disappointed by these orders as shown by her ceaselessly tapping heel.) Grrr…fine.

Total silence followed Ichigo’s warning, during which every shinobi dawning a Mist Village headband scanned the thick mist for the slightest movement. With several miles between the Union forces and the island, the seconds soon carried on into minutes, until the faint ripples of thousands of fleeting footsteps across the ocean surface finally echoed across the shore. Ichigo raised his weapon in preparation, a sword equipped with a large scroll recognizable as the “blastsword” Shibuki.

Ichigo: Brace yourselves.

Those around him quickly drew their own weapons and held them at bay, meanwhile Mikan’s tapping and fidgeting grew faster and faster as the ripples in the distance grew louder and louder. So uncontrollable was her fervor that, when a silhouette finally appeared through the mist, she leapt into the air to greet it before Ichigo could stop her.

Mikan: I got him!

She raised her axe to hack the unknowing newcomer to pieces, only to find it stopped in mid-cut by a chakra-coated blade, a more than surprising feat considering Kabutowari’s notorious penetrability.

Mikan: Huh!?

Attached to the hand gripping the sword was a smiling Manako, Sharingan active as he stood on the shore with his feet planted firmly in the sand, seemingly undeterred by Mikan’s attempts to push down on his weapon with her own. With no end in sight, Mikan emitted a vicious grin and raised her mallet, intending to bring it down on her axe. Manako evaded the ploy not one second too soon through his mastery of Body Flicker, leaving Mikan stunned once again as he reappeared behind her, planting her on her side with a quick sweep of his leg and rendering her unconscious with a rather uncharacteristic kick to her face. The victory was immediately followed by a torrent of battle cries as more Union forces broke through the mist and met Ichigo’s regiment straight on, a rather bizarre rallier at the head of the pack.

Vito: Hnhn hnhn hnh HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! I GOT ‘EM NOW!!! I’LL KILL ‘EM ALL!!! I’ll KILL ‘EM I’LL KILL ‘EM I’LL KILL ‘EM I’LL KILL ‘EM I’LL KILL HIM!!!

He ran straight through their frontline with a single kunai held out in front of him, the pure insanity of his actions leading all he came in contact with to leap out of his way, much to the shock of his own allies and the embarrassment of his teammates, who were already engaged in combat with their old comrades.

Izumi: Jeez, what a freak!

Kagetsu: (He shrugged as he leapt back to avoid a swipe of an enemy’s sword.) Ah, shut it, you ain’t that far off! Just be thrilled he’s gone for the time being!

As more armed opponents began closing in on him, Kagetsu smirked and unveiled the twinsword resting on his back.

Kagetsu: Hiramekarei Unleash!!

The weapon suddenly exploded with chakra as those within Kagetsu’s range quickly retreated back, wary of the sword’s legendary power. This proved a waste of time, though, as Kagetsu waved it in front of him with a powerful swipe, sending dozens of glowing bone-like crystals in their direction, impaling many and rending them immobile. When this task was completed, he took ahold of both of the weapon’s handles and, with a quick pull, separated it into two distinct blades before charging through their remaining forces and incapacitating any that came within his range. Similar success could be seen across the rest of the shore, though this action proved difficult as stated by the division commander.

Rounin: We seem to still have the advantage, but having this mist around isn’t doing us much good, either.

Mei: (She nodded in agreement as the flames emitting from her lips came to a halt.) We need to sift through their forces and find out who cast the jutsu. That should bring this battle to a very swift end.

Rounin: (He smiled as he assumed another battle-ready stance, his hand hovering over the hilt of his sword.) Well, we have just the right man for that.

In a flash, the samurai general was several yards away, his sword now held out in front of him as over a dozen enemy shinobi collapsed behind him. Just moments later, however, a large explosion echoed across the shore, originating from just behind the tree line. A small area that was once covered in tropical trees and grass was now reduced to smolders, along with the large number of Union shinobi that once stood on it. At its center was Ichigo, waving his sword to dispel the smoke emanating from the scroll attached to its back. This minor victory proved to be just the push many of his forces needed, as they quickly began driving the Union forces back towards the water.

Ichigo: Keep this up!! They’re not getting anywhere near our village!

Screams rang in his ears as his confidence reached its peak. They came from either side of him, and with his eyes having adjusted well to the mist in his years as a ninja, he quickly deduced their source.

Ichigo: What!? NO!!!

Scores of his forces now laid dead across the shore, done in by the squadron of samurai emerging from the inner island with an enraged Airon at the helm.

Airon: I said keep the casualties low!! These are still our allies when the war’s over!!

Ichigo: (He gritted his teeth as he spun around and held his sword up..) Rrrgh, come on!! Push them back!! Don’t let them get through so easily!!

With one large swipe, dozens of feet worth of parchment unraveled from the scroll, armed to the teeth with explosive tags intended to wipe out the samurai in one go. Before he even knew what was happening, though, Ichigo found himself looking down in shock as a majority of the unraveled parchment vanished suddenly before his eyes, closer inspection showing it had been cut clean from the rest of the scroll just moments earlier.

Ichigo: What the-

Airon: Cover your ears.

Before Ichigo had time to turn around, Airon warped away once again as a huge blast came roaring deep from within the trees, where Airon previously marked his drop-off location for the severed section of the scroll. He reappeared in the middle of the battlefield, quickly incapacitating a few foolhardy ninja with the audacity to attack him before clasping his hands together, magnifying the power of his telepathic jutsu to reach all the Union shinobi on the island.

Airon: (Ruko Sudachi and Saidai Kuwa. Find them and take them out to get rid of this mist.)

The response was not immediately noticeable, but everyone with notable power at their disposal quickly began the hunt for the specified shinobi as Manako appeared beside Airon via Body Flicker, his sword already out as Airon unsheathed his own.

Manako: That’s easier said than done, y’know. They are members of the Seven.

Airon: (He looked back at him with a smirk.) Yeah? Easier for most, maybe.

As both of them vanished from their spot on the shore to begin their own search, Ruko Sudachi quickly found herself overwhelmed by enemy shinobi bent on eliminating her. Unfazed by these odds, though, she displayed her sharp-toothed grin and unveiled her own signature weapon, the pronged “thunderswords” Kiba, which immediately began conducting electricity. Their unmatched sharpness rendered any incoming projectiles and weapons that followed futile, and within seconds, dozens of their wielders laid dead across the ground. Catching wind of this from afar, Mei quickly traversed the mist to find the source of the screams, looking in on horror as she saw yet another ninja being hoisted into the air with both swords lodged through his shoulders, falling to the ground moments later in pieces. Sensing her former leader’s presence a short distance away, Ruko clenched her swords and spun around in a fury.

Ruko: You filthy traitor!! You’ll pay for turning your back on the Mist Village!

She stood there stunned as the figure she pierced with her blades suddenly dissolved into water. She fell to the ground in the following seconds as a sharp pain ran across her back, brought on by the Boil technique emitting from Mei’s lips.

Ruko: AAARRGGHH!!!

Mei: (She looked down at her in despair as she ended her technique.) I’m sorry, dear. But, you seem to have your priorities mixed up.

She gazed down at Ruko’s unconscious body a moment longer as the shinobi who survived her onslaught briefly cheered her on, an enormous hole having been burned into the back of her fishnet armor and the layer of skin directly beneath it. Rounin appeared moments later, previously intent on providing reinforcements, showing surprise when a quick glance told him the kunoichi was not yet dead.

Rounin: You rendered her unconscious. Mizukage, this is a war we’re fighting. You can’t be so considerate.

Mei: (She looked at him in disappointment.) No, General. For me, this is a civil war. …I can’t take the lives of my own shinobi so easily.

Unable to pose a follow-up argument in good conscience, Rounin simply nodded in understanding before ordering their surrounding forces to scatter, only half of their current issue having been dealt with. Towards the opposite end of the shoreline, the other half in question made quick work of the enemy surrounding him, as well, the appetite of his own weapon proving a tremendous help in this regard. Their Sage Mode active, Airon and Manako witnessed this from afar, taking the opportunity to study his movements and identify his weapon.

Airon: (That’s Samehada, isn’t it? The living sword…Heh, that guy must be stronger than we thought.)

Manako: (We go front and back, then?)

Airon: (Is there any other way?)

After a brief game of rock-paper-scissors, Airon vanished and Manako charged forward with his sword, cutting off Saidai’s next attempt to kill one of his allies. As the young shinobi retreated, Saidai struggled to push Manako back, surprised by the boy’s superior strength. In the meantime, Samehada used the opportunity to absorb the chakra flowing through his blade, forcing Manako to replenish it and resulting in him “feeding” the sword even further. Though he eventually leapt back to end this loop, the sword seemed to follow him, forcing Saidai to pull back to prevent it from leaping out of his hands.

Saidai: Jeez, take it easy, will ya? (Samehada’s going crazy over here…this kid’s chakra must be ridiculously powerful…and appetizing.)

He grinned in satisfaction before holding the sword out in front of him, now intent on absorbing Manako’s chakra for himself. Unbeknownst to him, though, Airon had appeared several feet behind him just moments ago, and was now gathering chakra in his hand. When Saidai lifted Samehada over his head for his next attack, Airon “threw” the chakra in the blade’s open mouth, catching Saidai off guard and nearly dislocating his shoulder when Samehada refused to move with it, now focused on obtaining more of the chakra it had just tasted.

Saidai: TWO of them!?

Manako: Yeah!? What of it!?

Taking advantage of his lack of focus, Manako and Airon charged forward, performing a well-timed double lariat that knocked all the air from Saidai’s mouth and almost severed his spine, a consequence avoided only by restraint on both of their parts. As he fell to the ground crippled and unconscious, Samehada continued flailing about, seemingly attempting to move closer to Airon, much to his annoyance.

Airon: Ah, cool off!

With a swift kick, he sent the blade soaring through the air and disappearing into the mist, a move he quickly came to regret as screams of agony emerged from that same direction, implying the sword was still active. When they finally stopped cringing, the two glanced back down at Saidai, reflecting momentarily as they slowly started grinning from ear to ear.

Airon: I never thought this would be so easy.

Manako: Well, you did steal a quarter of their forces, remember?

Recalling the plan that saved the Mist refugees from sure annihilation, Airon smiled in amusement as the sounds of the ongoing battle carried on all around them. When they looked up, though, their smiles quickly disappeared as they found the mist still very much in play.

Manako: Something’s wrong. Ruko Sudachi is unconscious, too. I can sense her chakra fading from here.

Airon: (He closed his eyes and scanned the battlefield with his Sage Mode, opening them when he got a rough estimate of the how far the mist stretched.) I don’t think this is their technique anymore. …The scope is way bigger than it was earlier.

On the outskirts of the island, scattered across the ocean surface stood Ichigo’s newly arrived reinforcements, at the head of which stood Deba and Daragetsu. Still in the process of securing their technique, they held their hands together and continued molding their chakra, all the while their eyes remained shut as they reminisced on their last talk with their leader and mentor.



– Nine Days Prior –​




Deba and Daragetsu stood frozen in the middle of the destroyed refugee hideout, the latter turned away in fear as the former shut his eyes in hopes of minimizing the pain of the decapitation that was to come. To both their surprise, however, Unagi fell short on his resolve, stopping the blade when it was only inches from his red-clad subordinate’s neck. The swift gust of wind this produced tipped Deba off to this, and he opened his eyes as utter confusion washed over his mostly concealed face.

Deba: Lord Mizukage…

Without a word, Unagi set the giant weapon on his back once more and began walking away as Daragetsu skittered over beside his partner, equally confused by this chain of events.

Unagi: In return, Deba…

The two looked up to find the Mizukage glaring back at them, quickly recomposing themselves as they awaited his conditions.

Unagi: …I expect one thing from you and Daragetsu out on that battlefield…



– Present-Day –​



The mist now encompassing its maximum range, the two assassins opened their eyes again and returned their hands to their sides. Taking a moment to peer into the fog splayed out in front of them, they took hold of their respective weapons and motioned the army behind them to follow, sharp-toothed grins slowly replacing their frowns as Unagi’s final request sifted through their minds.

Deba and Daragetsu: Genocide.


Unagi’s top two assassins are on the hunt!!!

The End
 
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zedek

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Really bleach crossover lol should hve named his sword zongetsu and airon should have kept samehada woul have been awesome to see him wield that sword
 

Chakra Wizard

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Really bleach crossover lol should hve named his sword zongetsu and airon should have kept samehada woul have been awesome to see him wield that sword
Well, that's one of the seven swords, so I can't just change its canon name:p lol And yeah, probably, but that's not really the kinda weapon Airon likes using;)

Appreciate the feedback*_*
 

senjumahe

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Nice chapter
Welcome to tetsuden Ichigo! :)
It is nice of you to keep the seven swswordsmen around and kicking.

So both airon and manako hv sage mood
Manako is gonna b badass now considering how before this one of the advantage airon had over him is a larger chakra pool but this may even d odds. And with sage mood manako can continously keep using his MS probably with lower risks, lol mayb even consider it a semi-EMS. Its a new thing to see bcos this is the first time we see an uchiha with sage mood.

Thank you, waiting for the next one
 

Chakra Wizard

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Nice chapter
Welcome to tetsuden Ichigo! :)
It is nice of you to keep the seven swswordsmen around and kicking.

So both airon and manako hv sage mood
Manako is gonna b badass now considering how before this one of the advantage airon had over him is a larger chakra pool but this may even d odds. And with sage mood manako can continously keep using his MS probably with lower risks, lol mayb even consider it a semi-EMS. Its a new thing to see bcos this is the first time we see an uchiha with sage mood.

Thank you, waiting for the next one
Well, of course. They have all the swords now;) lol

Thanks for the feedback, man*_*
 

Kuroi Honoo

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Besides Airon’s unnecessary humor, thus far is making for a pretty good leader. For some reason I had a feeling you might delve a little further into these new defected nin and you did :) Going with Ichigo for one of the male character’s name was interesting and I’m liking their descriptions as well as a female swordsman-NICE!!! =D I was happy to see Manako in action as well as successful in his very brief battle ^^ Izumi and Kagetsu’s reaction Vito was amusing lol I really enjoyed Mei in this chapter. I liked how Manako and Airon worked together. I loved Samehada’s appearance as Kisame was my number one favorite Akatsuki member =D For a second there, I thought Manako would be Samehada’s new wielder which would’ve been beyond EPIC!!! I was surprised to discover that reinforcements appeared for rebelling Kiri-nin. Even more surprising was these two assassins’ declaration of genocide!

This was indeed a shorter chapter than usual, however that being said, it was amazingly entertaining and gripping!!! ;)
 

Chakra Wizard

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Besides Airon’s unnecessary humor, thus far is making for a pretty good leader. For some reason I had a feeling you might delve a little further into these new defected nin and you did :) Going with Ichigo for one of the male character’s name was interesting and I’m liking their descriptions as well as a female swordsman-NICE!!! =D I was happy to see Manako in action as well as successful in his very brief battle ^^ Izumi and Kagetsu’s reaction Vito was amusing lol I really enjoyed Mei in this chapter. I liked how Manako and Airon worked together. I loved Samehada’s appearance as Kisame was my number one favorite Akatsuki member =D For a second there, I thought Manako would be Samehada’s new wielder which would’ve been beyond EPIC!!! I was surprised to discover that reinforcements appeared for rebelling Kiri-nin. Even more surprising was these two assassins’ declaration of genocide!

This was indeed a shorter chapter than usual, however that being said, it was amazingly entertaining and gripping!!! ;)
Well, technically, Mei and her forces are the defectors, but yes. lol

Thanks, man. Hopefully, I get the next one out soon*_*
 

Trea

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Great chapter. The war is really starting now. Great to see Airon and Manako working so well together. Airon seems to be having a little too much fun though. He doesn't seem to be taking things too seriously. He will though once someone he cares about gets badly injured or killed. It was nice to see Samehada in action, Kisame and Itachi were my favorite Akatsuki team. I think he will regret throwing it away though, another enemy could pick it up.

It seems like it's going to be hard to keep the Samurai in line, they are not thinking in terms of the Union, they are thinking that a dead enemy is one I don't have to face again. With that assassin tag team coming it looks as though the Union will lose any gains they made today. Looking forward to the next chapter.
 

Reborn

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Spelling and Grammar: Technically sound, consistent, so far the best of the previous entries I've read. Not much for me to say here to the best of my ability.

Creativity: Off the back I am completely blind when it comes to the premise of your story given you are 98 chapters in at the point of this chapter and the very first chapter of Tetsuden that I read was the very first chapter long ago. I remember absolutely nothing about it so this is a little difficult for me to judge. Based only on what I have in this chapter, you are in the Nverse in either some alternate timeline from the canon. On that note you went into a rather typical route one tends to go with Naruto Fanfictions. Not bad, but what I find myself looking for as a result is what you do to make it unique. The setting of this chapter is in the middle of a war that I can only presume has been going on for a fair amount of time. I believe all of your characters are your own, with the only familiar things being techniques, weapons, and other entities that are part of the world such as Mizukage, Seven Swordsman, Sage Mode, etc. With what I'm looking at in this chapter you have the barest minimum of recycled material from your base world. In other words, you cannot hope to have a Naruto FF without referencing or using things like signature jutsu, items, and world pieces. I give you points completely off of the chapter being as far into the plot as it is and using minimum influence from the canon. It's hard to tell with prologues where the direction will take and how much of the world you end up taking. However since this is nearly breaking 100 chapters and is the way it is, I can't really complain.

Structure: I hate script style, I usually expect romantic Shakespearean language or the ancients like Sophocles to make it seem so vibrant. But that's a personal opinion and this criteria isn't even judged so it's whatever. You're consistent with it so good on ya.

Story/Plot: We seem to be in the middle of a war in the Land of Water. I want to assume it's a civil war between loyalists to the Mizukage and rebels. As to which side and characters are representing which I'm still not too sure. I have a general grasp on the where the main characters are, at least the ones of focus in this chapter. It would not be entirely fair for me to go based completely on the number of chapters to say you have a very deep plot that is well beyond this chapter's war. I gave you the creativity points with a bit of that assumption but that is more so because your individual chapter being where it is in the grand scheme of what appears to be a long story is only using minimal Nverse pieces. I'd have a more adequate time judging this if I actually had context to the story (which I have access to but nowhere near the amount of time to catch up). I will say that from this based on the appearance of this chapter and the ones that must have immediately preceded it, there is quite a bit of substance. This appears to be an arc in the grand scheme of your series so the looks of this war arc seems like it is being flushed out rather well.

Imagery, Detail, Vividness: You'd make a great RPer, usually people like that suck at non-fight oriented Fanfiction. Not to say you suck but the way you write in this chapter, is very much like how an RPer would fight or even write battle scenes in their own fanfictions, myself included. You're in the middle of a war, I get that, so your focus is going to be describing as best as possible the way your characters are battling with one another. Even so your descriptions are rather basic just like an NB RPer. With the exception of say, Adachi, ZK, and a few other people, the way RPers write is very formulated to the specific actions of the characters doing x, y, and z. There isn't really anything beyond that step-by-step instruction of move. You are similar in that regard which is almost necessary when you're not trying move at the pace you are. Few people want to read a war that lasts forever because the author wants to pick apart every battle.

Impact: Impact, well I'm sort of lost, but that's my own fault. I'm sure you've entered several chapters in the past prior to this contest so you couldn't very well go back and give me chapter one to get me involved contextually. This chapter and honestly anything this far in, you already have an audience that is glued to this to some degree. I can only go about this by "how much do I want to read the next chapter?" and "How much did this chapter interest me?" In regard to the first question, I'll admit I'm curious about those assassins. If you're going to throw around the word genocide like that hell yeah I'll want to read where that goes (take that as you will). To the second question, well going into this chapter was just another quota and when i finished I checked it off my list and proceded to the next step. So the interest wasn't all there. The only thing that makes me really care about this is the word "genocide" because I love crazy shit. So this iss a really so-so thing.

Interested in a numerical judgment of your FF, send me a pm.
 
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