Naruto: Shichiyo Gaiden VI

Reborn

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Chapter 6: True Beginning​
Genin Training Arc

Two weeks have passed since Team Kankuro successfully completed their first training assignment. As the month ticks down before their second assignment, the three genin of team Kankuro train vigorously to hone their skills.

“Sensei! We finished our laps, now what?” Koichi yells.

“Go home!”

“What?!” Koichi burns with annoyance. “What's the deal? Everyday since we've started our training you've been telling us to do the four exercises and then leave, I thought we were supposed to be training to hone our skills for our next assignment.”

“I hate it when people don't listen. You're training is to be done by you, I'm not lifting a finger.”

“What kind of sensei does that?” Ryoko adds. Both Ryoko and Koichi look upon their sensei with frustration as he lays with a cloth over his face. “As our sensei aren't you supposed to be training us instead of sitting on your ass.”

“Well, well, look who's fighting on the same side for once.” Kankuro mocks, as he lifts up the cloth over one of his eyes looking at Koichi and Ryoko standing side by side. Both genin turn to each other and blush with frustration and turn their heads away from each other.

“I'm nothing like him/her!” They both say. Kankuro laughs and he drops down from the tree.

“Listen I didn't sign up for this, I'm doing this as a favor to my little brother, I'm a little too old for this training thing.”

“Favor, don't you mean order? How's it feel having your little brother be Kazekage while you're stuck training some genin?” Koichi mocks. Ryoko chuckles noticeably and Kankuro begins to get a little annoyed.

“Listen you little punk.” As Kankuro argues with Koichi and Ryoko, Koji begins collecting his weapons from the earlier exercises and begins to head on his way. Kankuro notices Koji's departure and smiles. “At least there's one who listens.” Kankuro smirks. Both Ryoko and Koichi turn around and see Koji leaving.

“Hey, where the hell are you going?” Koichi yells to his brother.

“I'm going home.”

“Why?!”

“Because it's pointless what you're doing, arguing with him isn't going to make him want to teach you anymore.” Koichi folds his arms and scowls at his brother. At that moment Koji stops and turns his head slightly, his face filled with serious yet depressed expression. “Stop staying out so late, I know what you're doing.”

Koichi's face lights up with surprise and then suddenly falls down to the same level of depression as his brother. Koichi turns around and begins gathering his things as well. At that moment Kankuro and Ryoko look at Koichi, Kankuro understands, however Ryoko is clueless to the situation, switching her head from Koichi and Koji as if she were watching a ball going back and forth. Koji turns back around and continues on his way home and he's followed by Koichi.

“Sensei--”

“Go home Ryoko, you're the only one left. I have somewhere to get to anyway.” Kankuro says, cutting off the girl. His tone was heavier in the sense that his upbeat attitude was doused with seriousness. Kankuro begins walking away as well, out of the training grounds and Ryoko is left standing there alone. She ponders for a moment everything that just occurred, as the situation when from a loosened aura to a serious one, but eventually she simply heads on home.
~Several Hours Pass~​
As the day begins to fall, the sunset is partially visible over the sandstorm of the village. In Ryoko's dwelling, she again, trains in the back hall with her katana.

“I have to perfect this jutsu before the month's end.” She says determined. Suddenly she begins to, involuntarily think of the incident that happened earlier that day. First she see's Koji's face and then Koichi's face matching his and then Kankuro's change in attitude as well. “Damn it, I have to focus.” She says, trying to shake off memory.

Ryoko begins to sense a presence at that moment. She heads out of the hall and notices two full geared, Anbu soldiers standing in front of her father.

“We're unsure at the moment Captain, the higher ups within Kusa reported the traitors as under some sort of mind control, the jutsu matches that of Sasori-sama's, the only other person who could know that technique is Kabu--”

“Kai-sama.” One of the Anbu interrupts as he notices Ryoko. Kai turns around and looks at his daughter, coldly with a hint of anger in his eyes. The glare from her father shakes her nerves fearfully, not for the menace of the glare but for the fear of becoming even more distant from her father. Kai turns back around towards his comrades.

“Report this to the Kazekage, I'll go back to HQ and begin preparations.” Both shinobi bow to their superior and they disappear. Kai heads over towards the door and begins to assemble his Anbu gear.

“Is there something wrong father?” Ryoko says reluctantly.

“None of your concern, I won't be home for a few days.” He says without motioning towards her. He says nothing else to his daughter as he places on his mask and he walks out the door.

“Every time.” She chokes up, fighting back angry tears. “Every time I try, he...” She clinches her fist holding her sword and looks down at the ground. She remembers the words of her father, the importance he placed on the her becoming a member of the Anbu and eventually replacing him as head. She loosens her grip on her blade and immediately regains a firm grasp on it. “I will do this, I will master this jutsu, and I will become strong enough to make him proud of me.” She says even more determined. She heads back into the training hall and continues on with her training.
~Midnight~​
A crescent moon looms over Sunagakure, finally, the sandstorm has stopped and the skies of Sunagakure and the Land of Wind are clear with the glistening light of the moon and stars shining down. Koichi enters through the doors of his home, wiping his faces as he does so.

“Damn it.” He says under his breath as he walks through his house. Suddenly he ducks as a kunai wisps over his head, he sees the silhouette of a figure and and the shine of another kunai in its hands. “Damn it Koji how many times have I told you to cut that out!” He yells with annoyance, however the tone isn't that of his normal cheerful self, it's one that truly doesn't wish to be bothered. The figure throws another kunai at Koichi and Koichi grabs it by the handle before it reaches his face and he twirls it around and throws it back towards the figure. “I'm not in the mood!” The figure moves to the side, and dodges the blade and then it begins running through the house. “Hey!” Koichi yells. Koichi stands up and runs after the figure.

The figure goes into Koji's room and it jumps out of the window. Koichi follows and when he lands the figure stands in the shadow of a tree in yard furthest away from Koichi.

“I told you to stop what you're doing didn't I?” A voice says to Koichi. Koichi then reacts with surprise as he sees Koji appear next to the tall figure.

“Wait a minute...if that's you then...what the hell?”

“I told you to stop going there, constantly standing there looking at them isn't going to do either of us any good, and it damn sure isn't going to bring them back.” Koji says with frustration in his voice.

“Shut up, I can do what I want! It's not about bringing them back, it's about honoring them. You haven't even once went to see them after their funeral!” Koichi yells.

“It hurts, that's why! You forget our connection, you forget that I can feel exactly what you're feeling and that when you're hurting I do to, especially when you do that.”

“You're so selfish, because it hurts you, you don't feel the need to see them? They loved us and they miss us too you know, I'm pretty damn sure they would love to see both their sons together once in a while.”

Koji clinches his teeth and waves his right arm and the figure heads towards Koichi. As it comes into the light, it's revealed to be a puppet and it heads over to punch Koichi. Koichi ducks and evades the punch, however, the puppet roundhouses Koichi in the stomach, sending him back.

“Maybe if you spent more time training!” Koji yells, sending his puppet towards Koichi. Koichi stands up and grits his teeth.

“Myaku Bushin!” Suddenly a large pulse of chakra from emits from Koichi's body in the form of his body and hits the puppet, knocking it back. As he does this Koji gets a look of surprise on his face. Koichi uses Shunshin and gets to the left side of Koji, swinging his hand down with a stream of white chakra, cutting through Koji's chakra strings. Koichi then swings his arm back to cut through Koji, with the same gleaming white chakra. Koji leaps back away from his brother. “You don't know everything I do brother.”

Note: Myaku Bushin (Pulsing Clone)

Koichi runs towards Koji, eyes widened with adrenalin “instead of trying to copy Kankuro fight me like a man!” Koji clinches his teeth and reattaches his strings to the puppet and gets it in between him and Koichi before Koichi gets to him. Koichi and the puppet fight, however Koichi has little difficulty blocking the puppet's attacks and countering. Koichi slashes upwards with his right hand, cutting off the left arm of the puppet and he swiftly does the same across the chest, left arm, and head of the puppet. “You suck, this puppet fights nothing like you, it's a joke.” Koichi kicks the puppet with a chakra packed leg and sends it flying towards Koji. Before it makes contact with him Koji whips his left arm. Koichi looks to his right and suddenly he's hit in the head, with the head of Koji's puppet. Both Koichi and Koji are hit at the same time and land on their back.

As the two brothers sit up, they look at each other seriously for a brief moment. Silence fills the air for that moment and then, out of nowhere both Koichi and Koji begin laughing. They both get up and begin to walk into the house.

“Count this one as a tie?” Koji asks in his usual tone.

“Whatever, it's still not a win.” Koichi says mockingly.

The two brothers head back into the house and head to sleep. The next day team Kankuro arrives at the usual place and wait for their sensei. Everyone is back to normal and as the three shinobi arrive they do so with an oddly satisfied expression on their face. Koichi is his normal ecstatic self, while Koji bares a small smile, even Ryoko has a lighter aura around her that day. As they wait, Crow suddenly appears.

“What's going on, where's sensei?” Koichi asks curiously.

“Hey, sorry guys I forgot to tell you after you all left, but we're not training today or for the next week. Peace.” Crow then disappears and suddenly Koichi and Ryoko's reactions turn their happy mood into ecstatic irritation.

“Damn you Sensei!” They both say at the top of their lungs. Koji just sighs and turns around and walks home.
~At the Kazekage Residence~​
“Your sandstorm stopped Gaara, does that mean he's alright now?” Kankuro asks his brother. Gaara faces the window, looking out at the clear view of Sunagakure.

“For now.”

“I heard about the incident with Kusagakure. I just don't understand why he'd go after one of the lower nations and risk being found out.” Kankuro says.

“Neither do I, but it's apparent that there was a significant reason, he wouldn't risk revealing himself if it wasn't important. The only thing this gives us, is that Kusagakure is hiding something from us. They've given their report to Suna and Konoha, but refuse to provide any further information. I'm sure we're not the only nation who is under lock and key when it comes to our Jinchuuriki. I feel as though we should alert the others about this, if they knew about his recent movements, they would tighten the guard just as we've done.” Gaara says.

“I'm not sure that's such a good idea at the the moment. Besides you, the five Kage have changed and the only people I believe we can trust is Konoha. I mean, who is to say that the other nations aren't hiding something? We're not under any legal binding that states we are to know everything that goes on.”

Gaara squints his eyes and turns his head partially towards Kankuro. “I need to talk with Naruto.”

~Scroll~​
Jutsu Archive

Ninpo: Ukio Enko (Ninja Art: Life Connection)
Rank: A
Developer: Kankuro
User(s): Kankuro
Origin: Sunagakure (After WWIV)
Description: Developed by Kankuro of Sunagakure, this technique grants temporary animation to an puppet/inanimate object via transfering a portion of one's own chakra into the puppet. Similar in a way to the Shadow Clone Jutsu, the puppet acts and moves of it's own will, however it's mind and vision are linked to the user and the puppet itself has no base intelligence beyond instinctual fighting. The jutsu lasts for a period of time pending on the amount of chakra transfered into puppet. Chakra used up in this technique takes longer to replenish and extracts large amounts on base activation alone and more so as the jutsu is continued to be used in one single day. As a result the more times activated in one day the more chakra consumed and the less time the puppet remains active.
-----------------------------------New-----------------------------------
Myaku Bushin (Pulsing Clone)
Rank: C
Developer: Mai Shichiyo
User(s): Mai Shichiyo, Koichi Shichiyo
Origin: Sunagakure (After WWIV)
Description: This is a taijutsu technique from the style Suuxe-sensu, created by Mai Shichiyo. In this technique the user releases a full body blast of chakra from their body and it takes the shape of the user. The technique isn't an actual clone, however, the chakra takes the shape of the user, which gives the appearance of such. The jutsu has three uses: One, to distract or frighten one's opponent. Two to force one's opponent backwards as the chakra is dense enough, at its lowest chakra requriment to shatter through a tree. The third use is to make the user faster for a brief moment in time, as the release of such a great force of chakra all at once, temporarily gives one an almost weightless form, but with the same density allowing them to move faster. This jutsu takes chakra control on top of having a high level of chakra.

Suuxe-sensu (Sway Style)
Rank: N/A (fighting style)
Developer: Mai Shichiyo
Users(s): Mai Shichiyo, Koichi Shichiyo
Origin: Sunagakure (After WWIV)
Description: Suuxe-sensu is the taijutsu fighting style developed by Sunagakure kunoichi Mai Shichiyo. In this style of fighting the user utilizes precice chakra control to line one's body with chakra. Derrived from Konoha's Hyuuga style, and the medical-nin fighting style of Chakra enhanced strength, the most basic of the techniques involves defensive circular movements meant to block and use an opponent's force against them. However when combined with chakra, the circular patterns become sharp and a circular block and be used as a blade. The few strikes and kicks used in this style are powerful. This style requires chakra control and large storages of chakra.

Author's Note:
This is perhaps the most important chapter to date so I hope you enjoy it and feel the suspence of what is to come. We're nearing the true beginning of the story (like how I used the title of the chapter ;)). I hope you all enjoy. To those of you who read, comment, and rep this post, I thank you. :)

/
 
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Urda

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The Scenes of Ryoko and her flachbacks was a little confusing. I didn't quite understand the setting of where it took place. Kankuro sending a message about training using Crow was executed poorly in the story. I think you should have just used a messager bird or Kankuro himself. Overall the Chapter was Awsome.
 

Reborn

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The Scenes of Ryoko and her flachbacks was a little confusing. I didn't quite understand the setting of where it took place. Kankuro sending a message about training using Crow was executed poorly in the story. I think you should have just used a messager bird or Kankuro himself. Overall the Chapter was Awsome.
I didn't really do much with flashbacks with her, only the parts she remembers about her father's strict attitude towards her and not everything I mention about her is displayed within the previous chapters, but I'll take that into account.

I'm not much of a comedian in writting. That part was just supposed to be one of those little funny things in there, but I'll work on it in the future if I do something similar.

Thx for reading and reviewing :D
 

Reborn

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O_O awesome.. Way longer than mine..lol
Length isn't such an attractive quality in FFs, a lot of people get frustrated and don't finish reading and leave mid-way or they'll make useless comments like "I'm not going to read this" lol

You're ffs are the perfect length, I need to learn to space mine out more but I think this is descent enough in length.

Thx for reading :l
 

Train

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Nya ha ha! I've caught up! Here's some comments, I sort of rushed, so the post isn't as nice as I want it to be. Its just some random reactions.

OK, here goes.

IMO, as this story developes further, I think it may become your best work. IMO.
I guess I'm sort of..biased (?) though, since I prefer this style rather than script. I really like this fic. And I think its because its much more slow paced, compared to like Bonds/Blood/Seeing...(I think Bonds would be the second most slow paced).
Anyway, I like it. When I first looked at it, I thought it was long, but when I actually started reading, I finished quite fast, I think I was absorbed.

I don't remember if you did that for your other fics or not, but here I realized (quite late actually) that you use italics for dialogue. That's so effective o_o, wish I could do that, but I reserve italics for thoughts only... -.-

The only thing I can complain about is the spelling mistakes here n there. I think I saw somewhere that you said you are using Word/checking over, but..well, just edit a bit more xd. Few of the spelling mistakes, are correctly spelled (just different wordsxd), and I guess the rest of them were just misspelled, but I could tell their meaning. There may have been one or two grammatical errors I noticed, but otherwise, not much of those. So, edit, edit, edit!

I'm glad you added a few physical descriptions of the main three. I'd like more, but I know too much of those descriptions aren't your style. >__>

Ch.1
Nice intro. Good way to introduced the twins, I liked how we could hear the instructors' observations (Well, I was wondering how they could write and keep up though xd). Here in this chapter we got a glimpse of Ryouko, and I didn't suspect at all the attitude/coldness she expressed in later chapters. Anyway, the quips between the brothers are cute. Gaara being one of my favorites, I was happy to see him. : ]


Ch. 2
'Temari Nara' xd. I love Shikatema..the end w/Kankuro's “Team Kankuro is going to be such a drag...damn I'm starting to sound like Shikamaru.” got me to lol.
In this chapter, I feel Koichi is naruto-like, and Koji...I dunno, but I like his character the best so far, he's my favorite. Here, I think Ryouko is like Team 7 Sasuke.

Ch. 3
I feel Kankuro's in character. I mean, if he were to become a sensei like that, I think you've shaped him perfectly. I swear, Koichi and Ryouko are arguing like Naruto/Sasuke. Here I can see the origin of Ryouko's attitude; her dad's so mean. -.- I wonder what's the story behind her family, and her mother. Even the current family situation convinces me more that she's like Sasuke.

Ch. 4
This takes me back to Kakashi's bell test...anyway, since it's in Suna/Wind, I'm imagining the area with lots of sand/raging wind, it looks cool >.<! As Ryouko was almost losing consciousnesses when she was inhaling the poison...I think you did a good job with her thoughts revolving around her father...anyway, by the end, it seems that Ryouko is finally warming up to them/losing her cold self.

Ch. 5
It was cool to see them work as a team. The end was put together nicely.

Ch. 6
Now here, in the beginning, I felt Ryouko was like Sakura o.o (Like how when Naruto/Sakura would complain about something, and Sasuke was just be silent xd) When Koji said 'I know what your doing' to Koichi, I think you did a good job changing the mood. It was smooth to me anyway.
Poor Ryouko ;__; , I can't wait to see more of the back-story with her family.
Oh, and as for the twins, I was always suspected something was wrong with the parents since they hadn't shown...sigh. I liked seeing the contrast between them though, as to how they react to their parents' deaths.
Looks like this story's getting more serious/ more political w/Gaara...
Oh, I guess I'm slow; I didn't realize the storm was Gaara's...
the "I need to talk with Naruto." got me so excited xd I wanna see Naruto! ~~​

Anyway, I don't think I added enough criticism xd, I'll look out for more stuffs in the future, now that I'm caught up.
 

Reborn

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Nya ha ha! I've caught up! Here's some comments, I sort of rushed, so the post isn't as nice as I want it to be. Its just some random reactions.

OK, here goes.

IMO, as this story developes further, I think it may become your best work. IMO.
I guess I'm sort of..biased (?) though, since I prefer this style rather than script. I really like this fic. And I think its because its much more slow paced, compared to like Bonds/Blood/Seeing...(I think Bonds would be the second most slow paced).
Anyway, I like it. When I first looked at it, I thought it was long, but when I actually started reading, I finished quite fast, I think I was absorbed.

I don't remember if you did that for your other fics or not, but here I realized (quite late actually) that you use italics for dialogue. That's so effective o_o, wish I could do that, but I reserve italics for thoughts only... -.-

The only thing I can complain about is the spelling mistakes here n there. I think I saw somewhere that you said you are using Word/checking over, but..well, just edit a bit more xd. Few of the spelling mistakes, are correctly spelled (just different wordsxd), and I guess the rest of them were just misspelled, but I could tell their meaning. There may have been one or two grammatical errors I noticed, but otherwise, not much of those. So, edit, edit, edit!

I'm glad you added a few physical descriptions of the main three. I'd like more, but I know too much of those descriptions aren't your style. >__>

Ch.1
Nice intro. Good way to introduced the twins, I liked how we could hear the instructors' observations (Well, I was wondering how they could write and keep up though xd). Here in this chapter we got a glimpse of Ryouko, and I didn't suspect at all the attitude/coldness she expressed in later chapters. Anyway, the quips between the brothers are cute. Gaara being one of my favorites, I was happy to see him. : ]


Ch. 2
'Temari Nara' xd. I love Shikatema..the end w/Kankuro's “Team Kankuro is going to be such a drag...damn I'm starting to sound like Shikamaru.” got me to lol.
In this chapter, I feel Koichi is naruto-like, and Koji...I dunno, but I like his character the best so far, he's my favorite. Here, I think Ryouko is like Team 7 Sasuke.

Ch. 3
I feel Kankuro's in character. I mean, if he were to become a sensei like that, I think you've shaped him perfectly. I swear, Koichi and Ryouko are arguing like Naruto/Sasuke. Here I can see the origin of Ryouko's attitude; her dad's so mean. -.- I wonder what's the story behind her family, and her mother. Even the current family situation convinces me more that she's like Sasuke.

Ch. 4
This takes me back to Kakashi's bell test...anyway, since it's in Suna/Wind, I'm imagining the area with lots of sand/raging wind, it looks cool >.<! As Ryouko was almost losing consciousnesses when she was inhaling the poison...I think you did a good job with her thoughts revolving around her father...anyway, by the end, it seems that Ryouko is finally warming up to them/losing her cold self.

Ch. 5
It was cool to see them work as a team. The end was put together nicely.

Ch. 6
Now here, in the beginning, I felt Ryouko was like Sakura o.o (Like how when Naruto/Sakura would complain about something, and Sasuke was just be silent xd) When Koji said 'I know what your doing' to Koichi, I think you did a good job changing the mood. It was smooth to me anyway.
Poor Ryouko ;__; , I can't wait to see more of the back-story with her family.
Oh, and as for the twins, I was always suspected something was wrong with the parents since they hadn't shown...sigh. I liked seeing the contrast between them though, as to how they react to their parents' deaths.
Looks like this story's getting more serious/ more political w/Gaara...
Oh, I guess I'm slow; I didn't realize the storm was Gaara's...
the "I need to talk with Naruto." got me so excited xd I wanna see Naruto! ~~​

Anyway, I don't think I added enough criticism xd, I'll look out for more stuffs in the future, now that I'm caught up.
I love these comments of yours, the spelling mistakes, well thank god for Word (as much as it can do). I'll spell the hell out of words correctly...but the english language is such a hard ass, they need to keep one word meaning one thing and one spelling in these cases lol. I'll try to be aware of that in other chapters.

You're going to get so many different vibes from Ryoko, not just the Sasuke vibe. You're pretty nail on head with Koichi and Koji, he's meant to not really resemble any character for a reason...you'll see soon enough.

Instructors can write without looking at the paper (like a boss:cool:) lol idk.

I love the way I set Kankuro's character for sensei, I really do imagin him this way if he were a teacher, a sort of...mix between Shikamaru, Kakashi, and Naruto. Shika's place would be the hint of laziness, the Kakshi thing with the being late, and Naruto with....well Kankuro's a little loud mouth some times. The Naruto in Kankuro is very diluted

I will have, how you say, fillers later on in the series (Way later) which will give appropriate times for back stories for Ryoko, and Koichi and Koji. Right now things begin to get juicy and I mean chapters 7 and 8 which come out in a few minutes :zonder: double issue because I feel like itxd

Ryoko and Koji are my two favorite characters in this series, Koji because I characterized him as a different entity, not really placing any characteristics of the other characters in him to create him. I like Ryoko becuase she is such a tough cookie, but like all girls, she does have that sensitive, feminen, which has a way of coming out with certian characters. So far I've shown that in two occasions: one with her father (intro to her father) and two when she passed out in Koji's arms from the smoke when she smiled. She's that kind of hard on the outside, soft on the inside kind of person, as you'll soon to find out...well I just told you, but paying attention to the details I gave you can see how that's her character.

Koichi and Koji's fight and their sibling rivalry is one of the biggest factors in this story, Ryoko's character and her back story will soon come into play and once it does you'll understand her, and when she begins to aid in fueling Koichi and Koji's situation you'll see how I put the dynamics of their characters and team into play as they thee characters will have connections, I feel people will like.

Politics, Oh yes, did I mention chapter 7 and 8 are coming out :)
 
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