LionDemon
Leaf Village Regular 🍃
- Joined
- Feb 22, 2012
- Messages
- 561
- Reaction score
- 31
Re: naruto: rise of the uzumaki dynasty arc 2 "war" chapter 1 the demonic army (music
This series is fine, not the best, Im a bit picky about some stuff.
Capital letters, please, Im kind of sick of you trying to be a good writer but can't use grammar properly.
Character development What you are basically doing is making a side story to the original series, I know its a pain in the ass, but make sure you develop the characters too.
You use too much speech, not accually describing whats going on. This is a poor way of writing. See Reborn's fan fiction for example. He uses alot of speech, but uses the proper way of telling a story, using both elements of literature, speech and narration.
And also, slow down there xd
Other than that, its cool.
This series is fine, not the best, Im a bit picky about some stuff.
Capital letters, please, Im kind of sick of you trying to be a good writer but can't use grammar properly.
Character development What you are basically doing is making a side story to the original series, I know its a pain in the ass, but make sure you develop the characters too.
You use too much speech, not accually describing whats going on. This is a poor way of writing. See Reborn's fan fiction for example. He uses alot of speech, but uses the proper way of telling a story, using both elements of literature, speech and narration.
And also, slow down there xd
Other than that, its cool.
