NaruKido Sennin
Member
loved it, although i dont think it fits into manga format. but
, since you wrote is quickly its cool. definitely was a very good read and i look forward to more. 
I will!nice one. keep them coming
Glad you enjoyed it dude!nice prediction man
Thx a bunch!Excellent work my dear friend...
Format - shformat.loved it, although i dont think it fits into manga format. but, since you wrote is quickly its cool. definitely was a very good read and i look forward to more.
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While it was falling it let out loud uncomprehendable screams: "I came in like a wreeecking roaaaar!"Juubi: "You're gonna hear me ROAAAAAAR!"
^^^^^^^What threw me off were your extremely wordy descriptions without breaking it into smaller paragraphs or sections and most of all , your sentences are extremely wordy .
The content is decent but it does not seem well written , in my opinion.