Naruto: Love Story ch. 1

kiragaaraisME

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Love story

One day in suna, gaara was doing his paperwork carefully and kankuro was watching tv. Like always temari was talking on the phone and for the first time (in forever ago) with shikamaru (XD). She never saw him in a year or two. They were talking about getting together and gaara was listening to everything and he was so pissed off he shouted "CAN EVERYONE PUT THE VOLUME DOWN". Everyone in the house was scared so kankuro turned off the tv and ran outside. Temari said "gaara I'm on the phone" "so what, I'M THE KAZEKAGE. and what do I have to do? MY PAPERWORK". Gaara was mad and serious, he wanted to finish the paperwork so he can have fun later. Hours later gaara finished his work. He walked out and saw kankuro talking to tenten. Gaara can tell kankuro loved her but she was on a date with lee. Kankuro thought "curse that kid with the weird eyes and 'Gai Sensei' upsested. I hate this kid. If only I can go on a date with her". "hey kankuro, you okay? You look mad but at the same time happy...," said tenten. Kankuro said shockly, "oh, yeah. I'm fine". You see a sweatdrop fall down behind kankuro's head.*

**gaara countinued walking until he saw the girl he hates the most (when I say hate, I mean he wants to kill her) name matsuri. He tried his best to disgise himself as kankuro so he will not be seen by masturi's eyes. Lucky masturi was stuipid anufe that she didn't see him. He countinued walking until he saw sakura (the girl of his dreams). He transformed back to himself and sakura was happy to see him. She wanted to know how he was with out the shikuku (it was taken away by the akatsuki). Sakura said "hey gaara, how do you feel?". Gaara blushed. Sakura was cunfused. Again she said, "hey gaara, how do you feel?". Gaara snapped out of blushing and said, "oh... I'm perfict. What about you?". She wAs shocked, she never heard him say 'what about you'. Sakura responed "I'm sorry I didn't catch that. May you repet that".*
"I said i was good, listen up sakura". "oh okay," sighed sakura.*

-----
to be coutinued...
I hope you <3ed it!
This will countinue.
Made by -teamgai~
 
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Nikkou Arashi

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Hmmmn, this looks like a good idea. Yep, I think I like the idea of portraying how Gaara would react to love and deal with passion. :)

A little suggestion for formats like this though. Try to separate conversations from narrations. This will help the readers identify which is which. It will also help them picture more what you wanted to portray. Perhaps something like this:

They were talking about getting together and Gaara was listening to everything.

"CAN EVERYONE PUT THE VOLUME DOWN". Gaara shouted. He was so pissed off.

Everyone in the house was scared so kankuro turned off the tv and ran outside.

"gaara I'm on the phone" Temari said.

"so what, I'M THE KAZEKAGE. and what do I have to do? MY PAPERWORK". Gaara was mad and serious, he wanted to finish the paperwork so he can have fun later.

Other than that, all good. The dialogue lines you put in are really good too. :) I'm not really a good writer though. But I love to read. :)

I'm glad to see some Fanfic love stories going on around here, too. :) Please go on with whatever storyline you have in mind. ;)
 
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kiragaaraisME

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Hmmmn, this looks like a good idea. Yep, I think I like the idea of portraying how Gaara would react to love and deal with passion. :)

A little suggestion for formats like this though. Try to separate conversations from narrations. This will help the readers identify which is which. It will also help them picture more what you wanted to portray. Perhaps something like this:

They were talking about getting together and Gaara was listening to everything.

"CAN EVERYONE PUT THE VOLUME DOWN". Gaara shouted. He was so pissed off.

Everyone in the house was scared so kankuro turned off the tv and ran outside.

"gaara I'm on the phone" Temari said.

"so what, I'M THE KAZEKAGE. and what do I have to do? MY PAPERWORK". Gaara was mad and serious, he wanted to finish the paperwork so he can have fun later.

Other than that, all good. The dialogue lines you put in are really good too. :) I'm not really a good writer though. But I love to read. :)

I'm glad to see some Fanfic love stories going on around here, too. :) Please go on with whatever storyline you have in mind. ;)
Thank You soooo much!!!! :hug:
It was quite nice, setting aside the fact that you didn't even try to correct your spelling mistakes xD Keep it up :D But put in a little more effort on the "finalizing" part :p
Thanks! :hug:
nice plz read mine here's the link: its just a preview if enuf ppl like it i will make a complete story
ok :p
 
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