Naruto: Jounin Adventures Chapter 5

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Sir Aaron

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Chapter Five Part Six: The Star Power and The Mysterious Mist Ninja!

?: *pant* *pant* *pant*

Song:

A kid sprints towards the treeline of the desolate arena, his breathing heavier as he continues. The white flak jacket that is usually strapped on one shoulder has been tattered and torn, along with the rest of his Cloud ninja appearance. His slightly blond hair has been singed at the tips, giving away the previous encounters of battle. As he jumps behind a tree, a barrage of purple chakra struck the area he was once standing. A female ninja appeared, her purple eyes glaring at the tree under her star-emblemed headband. Katakana from the Star Village prepared her next attack, aiming to destroy the Cloud genin in this final blow. Even with the destructed look of the arena, the battle has only lasted a couple of minutes. The Cloud ninja has been on the defense since the first second of fighting, and hasn’t landed a single blow. His constant running is due to the enormous amount of chakra spouting from Katakana, known as the Kujaku. Katakana powers up the purple chakra, releasing it in one fellow swoop.

Song:

Katakana: Kujaku: Barrage!

The Kujaku launches in the form of small meteors, striking numerous places all at once. The Cloud genin stares in horror as the attack accelerates towards his defensive position. The meteors connect with their target, decimating the tree in an instant. Katakana leaps towards the spot, waiting for the smoke to clear. The Cloud ninja is still standing, breathing even heavier than before. A gray broad-sword (much like Darui’s) is layed flat across his extended hands, using the broadness as a shield. The genin sees this as his time to finally attack, and places both his hands on the hilt of the blade.

CN: *This is my only time to attack. I must use my strongest technique to gain the upper hand. It will leave me winded, but I have to try!*

Song:

Lightning release chakra surges through the metal, encasing it in its own Lightning Style Armor. He sprints towards Katakana, holding his surging blade in the usual kenjutsu position. He swings the sword upward, hoping for the initial blow to connect. Katakana jumps back, holding the single hand sign for the Kujaku.

Katakana: Kujaku: Destroy!

The technique spirals towards the cloud ninja, giving him miniscule room to dodge. He stands his groud, swiftly raising his sword as the attack reaches him. The lightning release courses through the blade, and splits the Kujaku in half. The kid takes the chance to sprint through the split purple chakra, charging straight towards the unsuspecting Star Ninja. The blue lighting cackles through the blade as he slashes it across Katakana. There is a sudden explosion as the attack connects, and smoke covers a small radius.

Crowd (numerous amounts small talk): What?! How?! Amazing! Awesome!

The Hoshikage stares, wide-eyed at the collision, contemplating what had just taken place. His own student had taken a hit, something that hasn’t happened during the Chuunin Exams. This was his prized genin; the one that he hoped would take the torch of Hoshigakure forward. This girl was intelligent, one that wouldn’t get so easily beaten in battle or arguments.

Sumaru (sigh): *Even with her otherworldly intelligence, her body and stamina aren’t the strongest. A single hit like that could take her out if she isn’t careful. We developed a new technique for that reason, which I’m hoping she utilized before being struck.*

Time slowly moves on as the smoke begins the clear. The anticipation from the crowd could be cut with a knife. The smoke finally clears, revealing Katakana in a dome of Kujaku chakra. The Cloud ninja is lying on the ground, his clothes now almost completely torn and burnt in certain areas.

Katakana (panting): Kujaku: Defense, complete.

The crowd cheers in total excitement as the battle is decided. The crowd starts to cheer Katakana’s name; Sumaru’s smile grows with every chant. The Raikage watches as another of his ninja fall in battle. Furious, he storms out of the area, punching a nearby wall, nearly breaking it in half.

Mei (snickering): He’s really that angry. How funny. He’s only got one more contestant left in this tournament.

Gaara (in his usual raspy voice): Easy for you to say. I don’t have any left. There’s obviously something wrong with my system.

Tsunade: It really doesn’t matter anymore; we are in a time of peace. I don’t see the point of every ninja being insanely strong since we are demilitarizing.

Gaara (agreeing with her, only for the sake of the story): That’s true. Not to mention, we really don’t have a large military anyway, or an insanely strong one at that.

Kitsuchi (joining in): Even with the Rock’s military history, I only have one in this round, and it’s a bug user. I was hoping it would be someone like Maguma, but her kekkai genkai was out done by a low-ranking Earth Style user from the Leaf. It’s a shame really. They really are doing the best this time: five in the second round, pretty good by my standards.

Tsunade: Hmph, It’s what I expected from the jounin that are their teachers. Patsuta, Fukutsu and Kameha are Naruto’s students, and Dyno and Toppuu are Lee’s students. They couldn’t be bad ninja with teachers like those.

As the Kage converse on the subject, Dyno Chan and a Mist Ninja enter the field.Dyno punches the air in excitement, prepared for the upcoming fight. The Mist ninja, who recognized by Dyno as the Mysterious Ninja, stares forward as if zoning out. His long black hair the only thing protruding from his bandage covered head other than his eyes. Dyno moved to greet him, but the Mist ninja kept his stare.

Dyno: *Those cold, beady eyes staring at me, It’s as if he has no emotion at all.*

Dyno (smiling): Anyways, I wish you luck in this battle.

Dyno and the Mysterious ninja walk back and face each other from fifty feet.

Darui (calling out their names): Dyno Chan vs. Arashi. Begin!

Song:

Dyno rushes towards Arashi at top speed, preparing his frontal taijutsu attack. The first punch is thrown at Arashi’s left side, which is blocked with his forarm. Arashi stand in one place, blocking all of Dyno’s attacks. Punch after punch, kick after kick, Dyno increases speed, hoping to land a single hit. Dyno jumps back, giving him some time to recuperate from his volley of taijutsu. Arashi remains standing in the same position, nothing visibly affecting him. Dyno rushes at him again, this time kicking at his legs. Arashi jumps up from his postion, making his first movement. He unsheaths a katakana, bringing it down as he falls. Dyno lifts his forearm up, blocking the oncoming sword. The katana cuts into the metal plating of Dyno’s new plated sleeves, giving Arashi more leeway. Dyno takes the initiative, kicking Arashi in the stomach, sending him flying backwards.

Song:

Dyno appears next to the flying Arashi, delivering a right uppercut to his unsuspecting face, sending him straight into the air. Using the Dancing Leaf Shadow, Dyno essentially materialized behind Arashi, raising his leg as he makes his move. Dyno kicks Arashi downward, sending him to the ground. Arashi’s body lands hard enough to make a crater, giving Dyno quick confidence boost.

Dyno (smirking): I though this would be harder.

Arashi’s body does not appear in the middle of the crater, but a large stick. Mist surrounds the field, reducing visibility to a mere five feet. Dyno gets into his defensive stance, prepared for oncoming attacks. A sword fly’s past Dyno’s face, slightly cutting his skin, causing some minor bleeding. Again and again the sword fly’s from within the mist, cutting Dyno’s body like large paper cuts. His arms and legs start to tremble as they are attacked, and Dyno is forced to make his move.

Dyno: Leaf Hurricane!

His powerful legs create small winds, seemingly powerful enough to blow the mist away. To Dyno’s astonishment, the mist remains, visibility lessening as time moves on. He hears a voice from the mist, something almost evil.

Arashi: Why do you try? It’s useless to break from my Hidden in Mist technique. You might as well give up, or I will kill you.

Dyno: Why do I try? It’s not like me to give up; it’s not something I do. I only work harder in the toughest situations, not give up. Lee-sensei would only be disappointed if I gave up, and he’s done so much for me. It’s not over yet; I still have a couple things left.

Dyno stands straight up and crosses his forearms together in a familiar position. His body begins to tremble once again, releasing small amounts of chakra while doing so. A green aura surrounds Dyno as he opens some of the Eight Gates.

Dyno: Second Gate: Gate of Healing, open!

Song:

Dyno jumps from his spot into the air above the mist, escaping it immediately. Performing three Severe Hurricane’s, Dyno clears the obstruction before him, exposing Arashi. His katana in hand, he meets Dyno mid-air. The two battle it out, Dyno using his flurry of punches and kicks against Arashi’s superb sword-handling skills. Arashi gain’s the upper hand as his sword slashes Dyno’s side, physically hurting him. Due to the Second Gate’s healing abilitiy, the gash is sealed up, giving Dyno use of his side once again. Dyno flies towards Arashi, punching him numerous times in the stomach, causing Arashi to cough up blood. The crimson liquid is caught by the amount of bandages over his face, staining them a dark red. With the amount of attacks Arashi has sustained, his bandages begin to fall off, revealing pasty white skin. Dyno follows up his punching with a kick to the shoulder, sending Arashi flying into the ground once gain. This time, when the smoke clears, an unwrapped version of the mist genin is shown in a crater, the ends of his bandages and hair singed. Dyno joins Arashi on the ground, panting heavily from his opening of the second gate.
Sweat beads down on Dyno’s face, his skin glistening in the spring sun.


Dyno: Should I still give up? It seems like I am the stronger one.

Arashi grimaces, waking up instantly.

Arashi: Yes, I told you, it is useless.

Dyno (taunting): Then why are you bleeding?

Arashi: Shut up.

Dyno: Bahahaha, you should heed your own words.

Arashi: Shut up!

Dyno: If you can make me.

Arashi: YOU BASTARD!!

Song:

Arashi voice is filled with pure hatred, something Dyno has never heard before. The sound of evil causes Dyno to be slightly afraid of Arashi, causing hesitation in Dyno’s first movement. The two eventually meet each other in the middle of the arena, katana clashing against protector. Dyno makes the first move, delivering a roundhouse kick that is blocked by the blunt side of Arashi’s blade. Arashi stand’s there, blade in hand, a grin upon his face. The bandages have almost completely unwrapped around Arashi’s head and arms, showing his jagged teeth and bruised forearms. He sprints towards Dyno, his grin remaining. His katana is swung upwards, slicing Dyno’s green jumpsuit on the right-side of his chest. Dyno grimaces, feeling the small amount of puncturing the Katana has done.

Arashi: HAHAHAHA. This next attack will kill you for sure!

Dyno: What is wrong with you? What are you?

Arashi: It doesn’t matter! You are dead!

As Dyno falls to the ground, Arashi shoves his katana into Dyno’s stomach, and it emerges out of his back. Lee and
Guy watch in horror as Dyno is given the major wound.

. . .​

Dyno (in a soft voice): Those eyes. I have seen them before.

Arashi (startled): You’re still alive?

Song:

Dyno (looking down, feet now on the ground): I saw them when that man killed my father.

Flashback

Young Dyno: Father, will you play with me?

Dyno’s Father: Sure son, what do you want to do?

Dyno: Hide and seek!

DF: Alright! I’ll count to twenty and you go hide.

Dyno (snickering, runs off): Alright Dad, here I go!

As Dyno runs off to hide, clanging is heard in the other room. Dyno’s father moves from his seat to check out the sounds. A man is in the room, holding a knife to Dyno’s mother’s throat, and jewels in the other. Dyno’s father looks in horror as the man states his reasoning:

Man: I will kill her if you don’t let me go.

Dyno’s father obliges, as his wife is sent into his arms. The robber makes his way outside, where Dyno is hiding in a nearby bush. He emerges, curious about the man’s presence.

Dyno: Who are you? Are you here to find me?

Man: Kid, get out of my way!

Dyno: Come on weird man, play with me!

The man lunges to stab Dyno with his knife, intercepted by the body of Dyno’s father. Dyno looks at the situation as Dyno’s father dies on the ground. The man run’s off as Dyno sit’s there, shaking his father’s lifeless body. Dyno’s mother appears from the house, crying as she run’s up to the corpse. The man looks back as he runs, and Dyno notices the darkness of his eyes.

Flashback ends

Dyno (continuing the story): That was the first time I’ve seen eyes like yours, full of evil and hatred. Every day I wanted my father to come back to us, until I met Lee-sensei one day. His warm greeting and kind spirit were just like my father’s, welcoming me into his life. He filled that void, allowing happiness to come once again.

Arashi (startled): Shut up.

Dyno (continuing): He has taught me to never give up, to pursue my dreams in the time of youth!

Song:

Dyno grasps the sword, ripping it from his own body, and tearing it from Arashi’s hand. He throws the sword behind
him, rendering Arashi almost useless. Dyno crosses his arms again, unlocking the Third Gate immediately. He appears under Arashi, kicking him into the air once again. Using the Dancing Leaf Shadow, he materliazes behind Arashi again, punching him into the air. He bounces back and forth between punches, almost like a pinball machine. Dyno grabs part of Arashi’s bandaging, pulling it towards him at blinding speeds. He delivers a simultaneous punch-kick combo that sends Arashi flying towards the ground. The impact causes the ground to break and chunks of rock fly all over the place. As Arashi lands, Dyno exits the Third Gate and loses consciousness mid-air.


…​

Dyno opens his eyes slowly, seeing the silhouette of the mist genin above him, sword in hand, and the same evil grin on his face.

Arashi: You think you can win from that sap story! You at least got to have a father! Mine was killed right after I was born! You dispecable wretch! Die!

As Arashi thrusts his sword down, Darui appears next to them, blocking the sword with his own. He grabs Arashi’s hand, incapacitating him. Dyno squints as the actions take place, falling unconscious again. A medical team brings a stretcher to carry the genin off, as Arashi is declared the winner. Lee and Guy both watch, startled.

Lee: H-how is this possible?

Guy: He d-dodged the Hidden Lotus!

Lee: But, not even Gaara could block it!

Naruto: L-look at his body!

As Arashi is grabbed, a slight red hue was surrounding his entire body.

Naruto: How? How one of them chose him, it’s unexpected.

Naruto: Shadow Clone Jutsu!

Naruto’s shadow clone moves to a different level, heading towards the Kage. It approaches a seated man, who is watching the events unfold.

Naruto’s Clone: Octopops! When did one of them choose someone?

Killer Bee: I thought you might ask, but nows for your task. You and I must train the child, or else he’ll be defiled. Isobu was out of his mind, choosing someone so far from kind.

Naruto: He’s almost evil! What did Isobu see in him?

Bee: I don’t know, yo!

Naruto: *What is going on! They were supposed to consult me about their decision! I must talk to Isobu.*

Naruto: Thank’s Bee. I’ll talk to you later.

Naruto’s clone disperses, giving Naruto the information needed. He stands from his seat, and everyone stares at him.

Naruto (seriously): There’s something I need to check out. I’ll be right back.

Naruto leaves, heading to the waiting room immediately. As he does, in the distant land between the Sound and Waterfall, the Otokage makes his way to the Mountain Graveyard.

Otokage: Hmph, so they followed us.

Sound Ninja: Who my lord?

Otokage: The ninja hiding outside our village. They wanted to get information, and we’ll give it to them. Let’s continue, they’ll be vanquished once we reach our destination.

Sound Ninja: Alright, my lord.

Next: Chapter Five Part Seven: The Best Swordsmen, The Bug User, and Kameha's Surprise!
 

Danielgf04

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Only read it very fast and didn't pay much attention to the first part, but that alone already makes it worth a 5 from what I've read in the second part!

Edit: Read it all, great chapter bro! Just one thing bugging me ( I've written it on your profile)
 
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~Uzumaki~

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Cool stuff. I see you've taken heed and reduced the paragraphs a bit. Wonderful. Makes things easier to read. Sorry I haven't read this till now :shy:

As for other tips I could give....er...increase your description. Let the reader see Naruto's shock vividly, let the reader see the way Bee was standing/sitting when Naruto approached him. Let the reader see some other things about the burglar that killed Dyno's father. Was he bearded? What kind of clothes did he wear? How was his voice? Was it day or night?


What you should go for is describing what is seen
What is heard
What is felt
What smell/scent is in the air.
I'm far from an expert I'm just giving you what I got :shy:

Also, try and mix it with other things. You can say that 'the intense look in his eyes was foreboding of murder'. I just linked eyes with murder. '

The wrinkles strewn on his face and his dull grey head of hair both spoke of his sagacity'

See what I mean?

I like this story quite well. It has some good twists. Like this Isobu thing and the Otokage. You certain do a good job of making someone curious about what happens next ^_^ keep it up! Link me more!
 

Takeshi Uzumaki

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Sorry it took me so long to check out this chapter. I've been kind of busy

Great work. I like how you keep the flow of the battles even while adding in some TNJ lol.

Good chapter. I give it a 4/5.
 
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