Manicherryblossom33
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This is a rewrite of a fanfic I wrote on my cell and posted at the beginning of the month. It turned out to be longer than i thought 
and hardly anyone read it.
So I rewrote it and did my best. Please tell me your honest opinions (wonderful or garbage, whatever you want to say) I won't get offended, I promise! If you would like to read the original (i didnt go past 3 chapters) i can VM it to you.
Warning though: some things have changed, and some stayed the same, so there are a few spoilers in the original (not many though). 
Please enjoy!:O
chapter one:
Signal
"What a quiet little floating village." Uri said, tossing a pebble into the ocean.
The Land Of Waves, once under control of Gato, now flourished as a port town of carpenters, fisherman, and sailors.
The greatest tourist attraction they had to offer was The Great Naruto Bridge, named after Konoha's Uzumaki Naruto who was the driving force behind the town’s sudden rebellion against Gato.
Two years ago, Naruto was sent out on a mission to a mysterious place called the "chakra slick mountain range of the hidden mist" whose walls exuded strange ooze that repelled chakra. Even ninjas had no hope of surviving once they fell. You would just disappear into the darkness of the canyon floors that no one had ever come back from.
Naruto died in the place of the two friends he saved. Most of the world believed in his possible survival. But not Uri...
BOOM
He froze in the middle of the bridge, and looked to the sea. A whirlpool was sending walls of water at the village.
"No!" He shouted, hopping onto the edge of the bridge. The outer perimeter closest to the bridge was already destroyed. People were being sucked into the ocean.
He had to stop this before it led to democide.
He teleported to the air, and flexed his hands. Five of the twelve zodiac seals appeared on his fingers as he laced them together.
There was a tugging sensation as he slapped his hand into the eye. The water started twisting up instead of down, building up like a balloon and exploding into mist.
Uri wiped sweat off his brow and whistled out a breath. That could have been dangerous. This place was NOT built to withstand a tsunami.
He felt a hand grab his foot, and a head broke through the surface, breathing rapidly. Uri knelt and yanked the young man up by the back of his collar, holding him with one arm and studying his condition.
Badly cut, bruised and patched with dirt, the young man had outgrown his clothes. A fatally high temperature and excessive blood loss should have killed him, but his heart was beating strong. His spiky blonde hair had become shaggy. His whisker shaped birthmarks and headband confirmed his true identity.
"... Two years." Uri said. "The space must have swallowed you, huh Naruto? Talk about a bolt from the blue..."
In any case, he needed food, water, and medicine ASAP.
Uri scooped him up in his arms, carrying him like a child. You should always be gentle with invalids.
"Kurama... My head feels heavy..." He muttered.
Most villagers had returned to their homes when they saw the eddy disappear.
"Does he need any help?!" The clerk asked in a panic when Uri walked in carrying the bleeding, bruised, groaning teenager.
"Don't worry, I'm a doctor." Uri assured him. "Please send up as much food and water as you can.”
First, he dried him off with towels. Uri had stored all his equipment and medicine in scrolls, so he was ready to start immediately. He found a blood sack with Naruto's blood type and set up an IV, stabbing the needle through his arm. The gashes were cleaned and wrapped. After applying an ointment made from traditional Uzushio medicinal herbs, the bruises faded away. The food they brought up wasn't exactly the spread a sick person should eat, but better than nothing. Uri crushed a handful of Hunger Vitamins, also a product of Uzushio, and poured the powder over the food. Afterwards, Naruto was full and healthy. Uri noticed he looked more like Minato now, having grown out of Kushina's face enough that just a faint trace of her large eyes and round face remained.
"Not sure how I feel about that." He complained, taking a seat and placing a hand on Naruto's forehead. "But you survived. That's good, Naruto."
He summoned Dokohato, his ninja dove, who blinked at him carelessly.
"Uri... It's good to see you." He raised his wing. "What's the issue?"
"I've found Kushina's son."
Dokohato flapped his wings and leaned away, looking like Uri had trapped him in a cage with a snake.
"What? I thought you said he was dead!"
"I presumed so, but look."
He turned and pointed at the young man, breathing easily in his sleep.
"He got bigger." Dokohato said. "Last time we saw him he was just a tiny baby who threw things at us."
Uri smiled at the memory. "Fly to Konoha and tell them the good news. Tell them where we are and that we'll wait for them here."
"Roger." Dokohato said, and took off.
There was one last thing. Excessive time in the space usually caused great muscle strain and internal brain and sometimes a coma with little brain activity. He had to ransack Naruto's mind, to be clear of whatever damage.
The mind-scan dissolving seal should do it.
He bit his thumb and drew the ancient chains on his palm, pressing it against Naruto's forehead and closing his eyes.
Moments later, his eyes snapped open.
"No, this can't be!" He shouted. "The space doesn't--... Oh no!"
He ran to the window but of course it was too little, too late. Ninja doves fly over continents in less than two hours.
"Forgive me." He left money on the table and hopped out the window, bolting for the boats when he hit the ground.
"If you go back now, the situation will be a thousand times worse."
P.S. After copy/pasting it to microsoft word 2010 i found out the original was six pages with tahoma font size 10. Sorry, guys!
:T_T:
and hardly anyone read it. So I rewrote it and did my best. Please tell me your honest opinions (wonderful or garbage, whatever you want to say) I won't get offended, I promise! If you would like to read the original (i didnt go past 3 chapters) i can VM it to you. Warning though: some things have changed, and some stayed the same, so there are a few spoilers in the original (not many though). Please enjoy!:O
chapter one:
Signal
"What a quiet little floating village." Uri said, tossing a pebble into the ocean.
The Land Of Waves, once under control of Gato, now flourished as a port town of carpenters, fisherman, and sailors.
The greatest tourist attraction they had to offer was The Great Naruto Bridge, named after Konoha's Uzumaki Naruto who was the driving force behind the town’s sudden rebellion against Gato.
Two years ago, Naruto was sent out on a mission to a mysterious place called the "chakra slick mountain range of the hidden mist" whose walls exuded strange ooze that repelled chakra. Even ninjas had no hope of surviving once they fell. You would just disappear into the darkness of the canyon floors that no one had ever come back from.
Naruto died in the place of the two friends he saved. Most of the world believed in his possible survival. But not Uri...
BOOM
He froze in the middle of the bridge, and looked to the sea. A whirlpool was sending walls of water at the village.
"No!" He shouted, hopping onto the edge of the bridge. The outer perimeter closest to the bridge was already destroyed. People were being sucked into the ocean.
He had to stop this before it led to democide.
He teleported to the air, and flexed his hands. Five of the twelve zodiac seals appeared on his fingers as he laced them together.
There was a tugging sensation as he slapped his hand into the eye. The water started twisting up instead of down, building up like a balloon and exploding into mist.
Uri wiped sweat off his brow and whistled out a breath. That could have been dangerous. This place was NOT built to withstand a tsunami.
He felt a hand grab his foot, and a head broke through the surface, breathing rapidly. Uri knelt and yanked the young man up by the back of his collar, holding him with one arm and studying his condition.
Badly cut, bruised and patched with dirt, the young man had outgrown his clothes. A fatally high temperature and excessive blood loss should have killed him, but his heart was beating strong. His spiky blonde hair had become shaggy. His whisker shaped birthmarks and headband confirmed his true identity.
"... Two years." Uri said. "The space must have swallowed you, huh Naruto? Talk about a bolt from the blue..."
In any case, he needed food, water, and medicine ASAP.
Uri scooped him up in his arms, carrying him like a child. You should always be gentle with invalids.
"Kurama... My head feels heavy..." He muttered.
Most villagers had returned to their homes when they saw the eddy disappear.
"Does he need any help?!" The clerk asked in a panic when Uri walked in carrying the bleeding, bruised, groaning teenager.
"Don't worry, I'm a doctor." Uri assured him. "Please send up as much food and water as you can.”
First, he dried him off with towels. Uri had stored all his equipment and medicine in scrolls, so he was ready to start immediately. He found a blood sack with Naruto's blood type and set up an IV, stabbing the needle through his arm. The gashes were cleaned and wrapped. After applying an ointment made from traditional Uzushio medicinal herbs, the bruises faded away. The food they brought up wasn't exactly the spread a sick person should eat, but better than nothing. Uri crushed a handful of Hunger Vitamins, also a product of Uzushio, and poured the powder over the food. Afterwards, Naruto was full and healthy. Uri noticed he looked more like Minato now, having grown out of Kushina's face enough that just a faint trace of her large eyes and round face remained.
"Not sure how I feel about that." He complained, taking a seat and placing a hand on Naruto's forehead. "But you survived. That's good, Naruto."
He summoned Dokohato, his ninja dove, who blinked at him carelessly.
"Uri... It's good to see you." He raised his wing. "What's the issue?"
"I've found Kushina's son."
Dokohato flapped his wings and leaned away, looking like Uri had trapped him in a cage with a snake.
"What? I thought you said he was dead!"
"I presumed so, but look."
He turned and pointed at the young man, breathing easily in his sleep.
"He got bigger." Dokohato said. "Last time we saw him he was just a tiny baby who threw things at us."
Uri smiled at the memory. "Fly to Konoha and tell them the good news. Tell them where we are and that we'll wait for them here."
"Roger." Dokohato said, and took off.
There was one last thing. Excessive time in the space usually caused great muscle strain and internal brain and sometimes a coma with little brain activity. He had to ransack Naruto's mind, to be clear of whatever damage.
The mind-scan dissolving seal should do it.
He bit his thumb and drew the ancient chains on his palm, pressing it against Naruto's forehead and closing his eyes.
Moments later, his eyes snapped open.
"No, this can't be!" He shouted. "The space doesn't--... Oh no!"
He ran to the window but of course it was too little, too late. Ninja doves fly over continents in less than two hours.
"Forgive me." He left money on the table and hopped out the window, bolting for the boats when he hit the ground.
"If you go back now, the situation will be a thousand times worse."
P.S. After copy/pasting it to microsoft word 2010 i found out the original was six pages with tahoma font size 10. Sorry, guys!
:T_T:
