[Comedy] Namikaze Inn

Espadara Uchiha

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Beep-Beep-Beep

SLAM

The alarm clock stopped beeping as a large hand smashed it to the ground, returning to the covers of the bed seconds later. The man resting in the bed groaned and rubbed his eyes, swearing as a beam of sunlight shone right through the window and into his blue eyes. He stumbled out of bed, only a hole-ridden pair of underwear to protect his modesty, and stumbled over to the window.

"Frickin sun..." He muttered, slamming the blinds down, yawning as he silently cried for the sleep he had lost. He looked around the room. It was rather modest, a Queen sized bed, a large desk made of strong, durable wood. Papers were scattered everywhere, and a pile of porn magazines were in the corner.

The man stretched a few kinks from his neck, before proceeding to crack his back. A few scars opened up from the movement, but the man didn't seem to notice them, merely tossing on a black shirt and gray sweatpants. He rubbed his eyes, looking for his clock before noticing the small pile of machinery on the ground. "Gah...another one gone."

He kicked the few gears and springs into the corner, before leaving his room and locking the door behind him. Walking through the long hallway, down the stairs, he entered the kitchen. The kitchen was rather small, with most of it being taken by a large table. A stove and oven were both visible, a small sink and a fridge were both on the other side of the room. The man sat down at the table, only noticing the young girl cooking what smelled like bacon at the stove.

"Good morning, Naruto-sempai!" The girl exclaimed happily, giving the man a smile. She was a cute girl, long purple hair that reached her shoulders, tied with pink ribbons. She was wearing the standard Japanese schoolgirl uniform, and was bouncing around the kitchen rather excitedly. Naruto couldn't blame her, as it was her first day of High School, though he did wish she were a little careful around the stove. She placed a large plate of bacon and rice with scrambled eggs onto the table. "Just wait a few minutes until everyone else gets up, Sempai!"

Naruto groaned, leaning back in his chair until only two legs were left on the ground. "Coffee, Isaribi..." He said, reaching his hand out. Isaribi happily got him a glass, then started to set up the table for everyone else. Naruto chugged the coffee quickly, ignoring the heat and only savoring the fresh blast of caffeine.

"Oh, sempai? Kakazu-san called, he says he needs to talk to you at the bank today." Isaribi said, taking a seat at table. Naruto didn't respond, though he did grab a larger glass of coffee. The silence was broken as another woman walked in, long purple hair tied in a spiky ponytail, wearing a white t-shirt several sizes too large, and only a t-shirt. Naruto opened an eye, looked for a few seconds, than went back to his coffee. The woman sat at the table, grinning. "So what's for breakfast today, Isa-chan?!"

Isaribi sputtered. "Anko-san! You need to wear clothes!" She yelled, pointing at Anko's lack of pants. Anko laughed.

"Hey, don't be hating just because you don't have a figure men would kill for. You focus on school, I'll focus on where I put my naked ass. Deal? Now give me food." Anko whined, smirking when Isaribi just sighed and started piling food on her plate.

Two men walked in now, one with white hair and pointy teeth, wearing a purple shirt with a blue plants, and purple eyes which were currently bloodshot. The other man had spiky brown hair, but not much could be seen due to a high collar on his large grey jacket. He was wearing dark sunglasses, but Naruto knew that his eyes were bloodshot as well.

The two sat down, with the first one gobbling down all the food on his plate and the other one eating slowly. "Oy, calm yourself, Suigetsu. If you choke, I'm not paying the hospital bill." Naruto said. The first man slowed down, but was still eating fast.

"He would not have to go to the hospital. Why? Because me and Anko both CPR. However, I would not perform it, and I believe Anko would charge Suigetsu greatly." Explained the jacket wearing man. Naruto just shrugged. Shino was weird, even on the best of days.

The group continued eating, the silence only being broken by the occasional sneeze or Naruto sipping his coffee. The door slammed open a few minutes later, showing a brown-haired man at the door. He appeared to be in his thirties, with almond-shaped eyes. He was wearing a business suit, a black tie draped around his neck and a briefcase in hand. He threw some pieces of bacon and toast in his mouth, washed it all down with coffee, tears forming as he misjudged the heat.

"Alright there, Yamato?" Naruto asked coolly, taking another sip of coffee. Yamato coughed, help up a thumbs up, than straightened his tie. "Sorry, but I have to go now. Busy presentation today! C'mon Isaribi, I'll take you to the station."

Isaribi nodded, barely having time to grab her backpack before Yamato grabbed her arm and began running out of the house. Naruto drank the last of his coffee. "Hey, Shino, I need a ride to the bank. Mind dropping me off on your way to work?" He asked.

Shino nodded. "I shall take you, Naruto-san. Why? Because the bank is on my route, and it is what friends do."

Naruto nodded, getting up to go get prepared for the day. The second he got up, however, Anko and Suigetsu ran out of the room, leaving their plates behind. "Pricks...Hey Shino, ya mind..." Naruto trailed off, noticing the quiet taxi driver had somehow left the room. Naruto sighed, placing the dishes in the sink.

Sometimes he hated running an inn.

AN: This is going to be a Real World AU, in some ways. There are no ninjas or villages. Most jutsus can't be used. Mangekyo doesn't exist. Basically, if you cant see it happening in Street Fighter or Tekken...it ain't happening here.
 
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