Manicherryblossom33
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Okay so I'll start by saying I don't read a lot of fanfiction. No offense to those who write it, but its mostly a pile of garbage with a few exceptions. For example, after the episode "the orange spark" I wanted to know more about minato and kushina. So I read a bunch of fanfiction, but I didn't finish most of it. It sounded just like porno in some cases, pure stupidity in others. My complaining finally annoyed my freinds and family enough to make them say "Just write your own then!!" So I gave it a try. Since I like reading "what's gonna happen next chapter" theories I tried to make it about the same size. Please give me your honest opinions about how good or bad it is. Just like people here do with the naruto chapters, tell me the pros and cons. You can rate it if you want. I'm not trying to outdo anyone, this is mostly for fun. Please enjoy, and if not, criticize it but no hating on it. As the title says, this is a work in progress. I plan to make at least ten chapters, and this first one is about minato obviously. I want the story to lead to konoha, where he'll meet kushina, and explore the difficulties these two face but they're troubles shouldn't mirror naruto a too much. Here we go:
Fanfiction
Four young ninja landed in the middle of a forest clearing. The trees lay in splinters, the rocks now surrounded by clouds of dust. There were no signs of life, and the thousands of stars in the sky seemed eerie, like dead fireflies.
The captain, a young man of six years, motioned for them to follow him in complete silence. The other three nodded, and with each of the four looking in a specific direction for any signs of enemy movement, they made their way to the Village Hidden in the Snow, Yuukigakure, which had been the sight of civil war since before konoha was built. It was an ancient village, ruled differently from others. The namikaze clan was considered royalty, and left in charge of most of the village affairs. However they were a cruel bunch, looking into ancient jutsu and experimenting with specific forbidden rituals in order to gain eternal life, wealth, glory, amongst other things. They often used their own people as guinea pigs, and kidnapped children from the hyuga and uchiha families of konoha, stealing and selling their eyes for money, then putting their bodies on display via crucification at the village gates as a warning to outsiders to never interfere.
The war that was fought here for so long had finally exploded into a conflict that engulfed the entire island and its surrounding neighbours, as rebels from foreign lands joined to destroy the enemy of the north, the namikaze. Huge explosions that occurred in this region could be felt from miles away, bodies washed up on foreign shores, and blood attracted a blockade of a thousand sharks. Defenses were minimal, if not nonexistent, and finally Konoha was able to send someone to deal with the enemy that had plagued them for so long. However, WWII was happening right now, and the only ones they could see were a single team of cadets, academy ninja.
The leader was Fugaku Uchiha, the heir apparent of the uchiha clan. He was serious and apathetic, but loyal to his friends and village. His lineage annoyed him to no end, however, for he constantly overheard others in the village praising his strength like so: “Well he IS an UCHIHA.” The way they talked, it was as if his own hard work, blood sweat and tears were meaningless. His family was responsible for all his talent, and thus all the credit went to them.
The Hyuga twins, Hiashi (the heir apparent of the hyuga clan) and his brother Hizashi (from the cadet branch) were two more members of this team. They were classmates of Fugaku, and bitter rivals to boot. Though they constantly butted heads, they shared a deep love for each other, as was typical of brothers.
The final member was Shikaku Nara, praised as a quiet genius. He would do his school work only out of boredom, but everything bored him. Even when something exciting happened, he was a constant poker face. His good points were that he often proved a voice of reason and restraint, giving his allies and even his elders a push in the right direction. Though he pretended not to care, he hated war. His reasoning for this was what he called a “sob story” and kept to it to himself, leaving his friends at a loss as to what happened to him in the past.
The four reached a cliff edge overlooking the smoking, crumbled ruins of Yuukigakure. The building and homes were igloos, now slush, that had ranged in different shapes and sizes, most of which crumbled now. Inside, the homes had walls and floors of wood, now ashes. The stench of blood and burning flesh was strong in the air.
The four pulled on gas masks, to avoid any possible poisonous gases, and jumped down to the village ruins. Their job was to gather information and rescue survivors. Though the elders of their village had said this in a way to imply concern and future care to any orphans of this place, they knew what would happen to the citizens of this place, if there were any left. Like all orphans of their generation, they would be drafted to root, where they would become the dogs of Danzo. If they refused to work for him, it was possible the third would arrange for any children to be sent to the academy, but eventually an “accident” would occur, and they would leave this world.
The system in their village had become rotten, and the four boys dreamed of changing this. Turning Konoha into a fair place to live, and rescuing orphans of war, as the first hokage had done for their clans during the era of great war.
However, even Shikaku knew nothing of how to save their village from becoming like Yuukigakure.
“I don’t think theres anyone alive here.” Fugaku finally admitted, disappointment in his eyes and voice.
“I agree.” Hiashi picked up a wooden doll, with its head badly scorched. “I don’t hear anything but smoke and ashes and melting snow. I don’t smell anything but blood.”
Hizashi activated his byakugan once more, though his chakra was all but exhausted, and scanned the area. Hiashi followed his example, but Fugaku had to search the old fashioned way as his sharingan had yet to activate.
Shikaku sighed and wandered off, in search of anything they could take back to the village. A book, a file, a corpse. Though he would rather it not be that last one, he knew they couldn’t return empty handed.
He trodded over something metal and u-shaped. Purely out of curiosity, he reached down to find a handle. A basement door? What were the chances of finding something useful here?
Lifting it up, a pair of oddly shaped kunai scratched gashes on opposite sides of his faces, and he screamed to alert his comrades(and because it hurt).
He caught one of the foreign kunai and, half blinded from blood flooding his eye, lashed out with it.
A boy, two years younger than him, appeared and knocked the kunai from his hand. This followed by a few quick jabs to the chest that sent him flying into a pile of snow and charcoaled wood.
“Time to go, Mikoto!”
“Okay!”
Fugaku and the others appeared, attempting to stop the boy and girl by themselves, but he was too quick even for the brothers’ byakugan, and left them sprawled on the ground.
He carried the girl as he jumped away, and Fugaku flipped over, throwing a shuriken with wire attached to try and trip the boy.
But the young ninja escaped, hopping into the woods they had just come from.
Though the boys burned with anger and humiliation, a strange feeling of respect for their enemy left them in awe of the boy, who, as quick as lightning, was only visible as a yellow flash.
Fanfiction
Four young ninja landed in the middle of a forest clearing. The trees lay in splinters, the rocks now surrounded by clouds of dust. There were no signs of life, and the thousands of stars in the sky seemed eerie, like dead fireflies.
The captain, a young man of six years, motioned for them to follow him in complete silence. The other three nodded, and with each of the four looking in a specific direction for any signs of enemy movement, they made their way to the Village Hidden in the Snow, Yuukigakure, which had been the sight of civil war since before konoha was built. It was an ancient village, ruled differently from others. The namikaze clan was considered royalty, and left in charge of most of the village affairs. However they were a cruel bunch, looking into ancient jutsu and experimenting with specific forbidden rituals in order to gain eternal life, wealth, glory, amongst other things. They often used their own people as guinea pigs, and kidnapped children from the hyuga and uchiha families of konoha, stealing and selling their eyes for money, then putting their bodies on display via crucification at the village gates as a warning to outsiders to never interfere.
The war that was fought here for so long had finally exploded into a conflict that engulfed the entire island and its surrounding neighbours, as rebels from foreign lands joined to destroy the enemy of the north, the namikaze. Huge explosions that occurred in this region could be felt from miles away, bodies washed up on foreign shores, and blood attracted a blockade of a thousand sharks. Defenses were minimal, if not nonexistent, and finally Konoha was able to send someone to deal with the enemy that had plagued them for so long. However, WWII was happening right now, and the only ones they could see were a single team of cadets, academy ninja.
The leader was Fugaku Uchiha, the heir apparent of the uchiha clan. He was serious and apathetic, but loyal to his friends and village. His lineage annoyed him to no end, however, for he constantly overheard others in the village praising his strength like so: “Well he IS an UCHIHA.” The way they talked, it was as if his own hard work, blood sweat and tears were meaningless. His family was responsible for all his talent, and thus all the credit went to them.
The Hyuga twins, Hiashi (the heir apparent of the hyuga clan) and his brother Hizashi (from the cadet branch) were two more members of this team. They were classmates of Fugaku, and bitter rivals to boot. Though they constantly butted heads, they shared a deep love for each other, as was typical of brothers.
The final member was Shikaku Nara, praised as a quiet genius. He would do his school work only out of boredom, but everything bored him. Even when something exciting happened, he was a constant poker face. His good points were that he often proved a voice of reason and restraint, giving his allies and even his elders a push in the right direction. Though he pretended not to care, he hated war. His reasoning for this was what he called a “sob story” and kept to it to himself, leaving his friends at a loss as to what happened to him in the past.
The four reached a cliff edge overlooking the smoking, crumbled ruins of Yuukigakure. The building and homes were igloos, now slush, that had ranged in different shapes and sizes, most of which crumbled now. Inside, the homes had walls and floors of wood, now ashes. The stench of blood and burning flesh was strong in the air.
The four pulled on gas masks, to avoid any possible poisonous gases, and jumped down to the village ruins. Their job was to gather information and rescue survivors. Though the elders of their village had said this in a way to imply concern and future care to any orphans of this place, they knew what would happen to the citizens of this place, if there were any left. Like all orphans of their generation, they would be drafted to root, where they would become the dogs of Danzo. If they refused to work for him, it was possible the third would arrange for any children to be sent to the academy, but eventually an “accident” would occur, and they would leave this world.
The system in their village had become rotten, and the four boys dreamed of changing this. Turning Konoha into a fair place to live, and rescuing orphans of war, as the first hokage had done for their clans during the era of great war.
However, even Shikaku knew nothing of how to save their village from becoming like Yuukigakure.
“I don’t think theres anyone alive here.” Fugaku finally admitted, disappointment in his eyes and voice.
“I agree.” Hiashi picked up a wooden doll, with its head badly scorched. “I don’t hear anything but smoke and ashes and melting snow. I don’t smell anything but blood.”
Hizashi activated his byakugan once more, though his chakra was all but exhausted, and scanned the area. Hiashi followed his example, but Fugaku had to search the old fashioned way as his sharingan had yet to activate.
Shikaku sighed and wandered off, in search of anything they could take back to the village. A book, a file, a corpse. Though he would rather it not be that last one, he knew they couldn’t return empty handed.
He trodded over something metal and u-shaped. Purely out of curiosity, he reached down to find a handle. A basement door? What were the chances of finding something useful here?
Lifting it up, a pair of oddly shaped kunai scratched gashes on opposite sides of his faces, and he screamed to alert his comrades(and because it hurt).
He caught one of the foreign kunai and, half blinded from blood flooding his eye, lashed out with it.
A boy, two years younger than him, appeared and knocked the kunai from his hand. This followed by a few quick jabs to the chest that sent him flying into a pile of snow and charcoaled wood.
“Time to go, Mikoto!”
“Okay!”
Fugaku and the others appeared, attempting to stop the boy and girl by themselves, but he was too quick even for the brothers’ byakugan, and left them sprawled on the ground.
He carried the girl as he jumped away, and Fugaku flipped over, throwing a shuriken with wire attached to try and trip the boy.
But the young ninja escaped, hopping into the woods they had just come from.
Though the boys burned with anger and humiliation, a strange feeling of respect for their enemy left them in awe of the boy, who, as quick as lightning, was only visible as a yellow flash.
