IMO text is a little bit hard to read(maybe it's because for some reason my NB stuff seems a lower quality than it actually is) Great job on it, the only weird thing is the face expressions where it's....just......kinda weird...if you know what I mean.
Honestly, I do like it. Although, there is no distinct flow, and you forgot to erase the C4D over the focal. And you should try moving the text down and to the right a bit, closer to the focal.