My mother...

[Sakura Michiko]

My mom is always stirring up a problem for me. I'm 18 years old and she treats me like a child. She tries to make me wear kiddy clothing and gets upset because I don't wear it.She starts asking me if I like showing my body and other stupid questions. When we get in arguments I don't even know why we fuss. I don't even know what they are about because she always fuss. She tells me to shut up (normally when she is wrong). She is really confusing and doesn't make herself clear and thinks I should automatically understand her. She says I'm acting dumb because I'm not understanding her but when I say something intelligent she get piss and calls me disrespectful.I told her she was the disrespectful one because she always fuss at me and treats me like a kid and she said she is the parent so she has the right to disrespect me. Sometimes after the arguments we have she tells me that I hurt her feelings even though I try to calm her down. Apparently I guess it's impossible for my feelings to hurt cause she gets mad when I start crying or something. Sometimes she tells me if I would be calm when we fuss than she wouldn't get mad but I tried that and it doesn't work. I can't really move out and get an apartment or job because I'm in college, I have a music scholarship so I have to practice my flute a lot and I'm a nursing major. Also my college is 3 hours from my town. I don't have any family in the town that my college is in. Even if I wasn't in college I don't think I can leave on my own currently because there's so many thinks I don't understand as an adult that my mom didn't teach me. She only act stupid when she is mad or want to be in control normally she is really cool.* To the people suggesting for me to move out. I have no where to move to.

 

[LogicnoJutsu]

Move out then.

 

[-immortal-]

well damn. move out

 

[Sakura Michiko]

well damn. move out

I don't have anywhere to move to.

 

[Callypigia]

I don't mean to be disrespectful, but 18 is still a kid, and your mother is probably worried about you. Even more so now that you've gone away to college. People who feel like they're losing control in their life tend to struggle harder to find something else to control. Next time you get in an argument with her stop and empathize with what she is feeling, validate that feeling to her, and then follow up with how you're feeling. Validating feelings takes away the defensiveness that people have when an argument starts.

 

[-immortal-]

I don't have anywhere to move to.

well, thats to bad for you.

 

[Sakura Michiko]

I don't mean to be disrespectful, but 18 is still a kid, and your mother is probably worried about you. Even more so now that you've gone away to college. People who feel like they're losing control in their life tend to struggle harder to find something else to control. Next time you get in an argument with her stop and empathize with what she is feeling, validate that feeling to her, and then follow up with how you're feeling. Validating feelings takes away the defensiveness that people have when an argument starts.

My mom has been doing this to me since I was 10. Where I'm at 18 is an adult. I try to understand her and tell her what I'm feeling and she use that against me. Worried or not she doesn't have the right to put me down.

 

[Jessika Uzumaki]

Um.... Well for starters if your living in her house you would have to abide by her rules. And it's wrong for your mother to say that she can disrespect you. I don't agree with that. But you shouldn't talk to your mom like that. I'm just being honest with you. And of course when parents are wrong they get mad at you but you just gotta deal okay? But tell her that your, your own person and you feel that she should respect the decisions you make whether it's good or bad. But also remember that she is your mother and you should respect her. You shouldn't get into arguments with her either because like I said that's your mom. I know you appreciate her a lot and I know you love her a lot too but you gotta remember that she is the only friend you got in life. I wish I could actually talk to my mom, but I can't she left me when I was 5 years old, and she that she rather let her "Lover" stay in her house rather than her kids. To this day I can never have a good relationship with her. She doesn't really care about us(me and my siblings). But no need to worry I've got a New Mommy and she is wonderful! My father remarried back in 2012. And she's been great to us ever since. She helped me with a lot of things that my mom never did. Even now as we speak she's cooking my favorite meal for my Bday Celebration. But I understand completely of how you feel. *_*

 

[Sakura Michiko]

Um.... Well for starters if your living in her house you would have to abide by her rules. And it's wrong for your mother to say that she can disrespect you. I don't agree with that. But you shouldn't talk to your mom like that. I'm just being honest with you. And of course when parents are wrong they get mad at you but you just gotta deal okay? But tell her that your, your own person and you feel that she should respect the decisions you make whether it's good or bad. But also remember that she is your mother and you should respect her. You shouldn't get into arguments with her either because like I said that's your mom. I know you appreciate her a lot and I know you love her a lot too but you gotta remember that she is the only friend you got in life. I wish I could actually talk to my mom, but I can't she left me when I was 5 years old, and she that she rather let her "Lover" stay in her house rather than her kids. To this day I can never have a good relationship with her. She doesn't really care about us(me and my siblings). But no need to worry I've got a New Mommy and she is wonderful! My father remarried back in 2012. And she's been great to us ever since. She helped me with a lot of things that my mom never did. Even now as we speak she's cooking my favorite meal for my Bday Celebration. But I understand completely of how you feel. *_*

I shouldn't talk to her how? I'm not calling her stupid and stuff.She calls me that. I'm not trying to argue with her. She provoked me.

 

[Venomous Cobra]

I am 16 and my mother still beat the shit
outta me soo I don't know I guess that's normal the other thing is you don't act like nerd in front of your mom that's just makes her feel stupid. I say just chill and stay with your mom

 

[Trúth]

I feel ya man sorry.

 

[trick master]

if she treats you like a child is because you behave like a child.

if you want liberty to do what you want, but you have a mom that washes your clothes and pays for your food, then you're doing it wrong. you'll either be free to do whatever you want like to go to a party and do drugs, but at the same time will have to make your own living, or you'll have momma to tell you what to do while she actually pays for your food, works for you and pays your bills.

how about getting a job and THEN asking your mom to stop treating you like a 10 year old kid?

 

[Rιver]

Even if you're 18, looks like your attitude is no more than a child's or even less. Heck, even my little brother who's 14 now has never talked back. What kind of an adult gets into an argument with their own mother and calls her disrespectful? Please grow up or stop reproducing. Listen to your parents, go to school, get a job and stop acting like a spoiled child.

''I'm 18 I can do whatever I want''. Please say that and you'll regret the consequences after you learn what it's to be a real adult.​

 

[Sakura Michiko]

Even if you're 18, looks like your attitude is no more than a child's or even less. Heck, even my little brother who's 14 now has never talked back. What kind of an adult gets into an argument with their own mother and calls her disrespectful? Please grow up or stop reproducing. Listen to your parents, go to school, get a job and stop acting like a spoiled child.

''I'm 18 I can do whatever I want''. Please say that and you'll regret the consequences after you learn what it's to be a real adult.​

Did you read my post.I'm not even reproducing so what are you talking about? I'm in college. I have a music scholarship with a bunch of music class and I'm a nursing major that makes it hard to get a job and move out. I try not to talk back to her. When I don't talk back she gets mad and thinks I'm ignoring her.She starts the arguments. I tried to calm her down and she still fuse. I try to do what she ask and she still fuse with me.

if she treats you like a child is because you behave like a child.

if you want liberty to do what you want, but you have a mom that washes your clothes and pays for your food, then you're doing it wrong. you'll either be free to do whatever you want like to go to a party and do drugs, but at the same time will have to make your own living, or you'll have momma to tell you what to do while she actually pays for your food, works for you and pays your bills.

how about getting a job and THEN asking your mom to stop treating you like a 10 year old kid?

Excuse me, I do my own choirs. I stated why I can't currently get a job. Did you actually read my post?

I am 16 and my mother still beat the shit
outta me soo I don't know I guess that's normal the other thing is you don't act like nerd in front of your mom that's just makes her feel stupid. I say just chill and stay with your mom

I tried that. She said I was acting "common" when I tried to not act like a "nerd."

 

[YowYan]

My girlfriend is in the same situation as you. Worse actually. Only real solution is to strive for independence. You can't fight a retarded parent.

 

[Sakura Michiko]

My girlfriend is in the same situation as you. Worse actually. Only real solution is to strive for independence. You can't fight a retarded parent.

Thank you for understand me and not replying with an asinine comment like some of the comments here. I didn't even put everything my mom does in my post because I didn't want people saying she should go to jail or something.

 

[YowYan]

Thank you for understand me and not replying with an asinine comment like some of the comments here. I didn't even put everything my mom does in my post because I didn't want people saying she should go to jail or something.

Yeah, they don't know what they're talking about. At times, your mum probably acts like a goody2shoes, and then after a few days turns back to being emotionally and physically abusive, am I right? You're 18, so try to get info on guided independent-living (no idea how it's called in english).

And until that time comes, just keep your distance and play her game. Appeal to her vanity but don't take her seriously.

 

[Maid]

The trouble is, she still sees you as her little girl. The only way to break out of that is to sit down and talk to her, and convince her that you are capable of making your own decision. Once you have your place and career, your mom will see that you are an independent person and don't need to be smothered But in the end she's just panicking and doesn't want to accept the reality of her baby is all grown up. Consider yourself lucky some mothers don't even care..

 

[Bantos]

She probably only wants best for you, and what she thinks that is best for you may differ from your opinion on the matter.
You should remember that you're still only eighteen, that's pretty far from an adult since your brain still keeps developing, also you don't seem all that mature to me, no offense seriously.

If you're serious about moving out you should discuss it with your mother like two adults do, without any negative emotions or such present, and you should try to make her see how much you have actually matured.
I had a similar problem. I'm 21 and I wanted to move out, but didn't really know how to find and apartment and such, and always I brought up the subject she would get mad or think that I was angry about something.

I sat her down and had a mature conversation about the subject and she understood it and even helped me a lot by getting me furniture and such.

Try acting responsibly and her view could change, maybe.

 

[Jin Hayami]

I don't have anywhere to move to.

Only because you haven't looked. I guarantee there is crazy cheap housing around any college campus and there are always people looking for roommates.

You need to get a job. You need to pay your own bills. You need to let your parents know that you don't need them and are capable of surviving on your own and making your own decisions. You need to act like the 18 year old adult you are. At first it sounded like you were a kid complaining about why your mom didn't treat you like an adult. Instead its that you're an adult being treated like a kid. If you want your mother to respect you go out on your own.

As for how you dress you're an adult. She can't say shit if you don't live in her house.