My hobby is ruining my life.

[Bad Touch Yakushi]

Um, so I don't know if any of you know this but i'm an avid filmmaker/youtuber and it's been the passion of my life for at least 5 years now. Filmmaking...can be a really quite lonely and VERY expressive, time-consuming and emotional hobby. And if you are a creator you know that when you love what you're doing and you put something out into the world that you're genuinely proud of- it's one of the best things I think a person can do. It feels like bringing your own baby into the world or something I dunno.

I've had like, many bad patches and months off hiatus where things have just gotten too much for me or I just had no inspiration but...this is the absolute lowest i've been in quite a while.

I have made 3 short films in the last month. I've never worked so hard on content because I was so excited and happy to finally have inspiration again. One was a Halloween based video i've done with my best friends for 3 years running now. It's a tradition and basically during the making of it an accident occurred and the sensitive f*cking 800 pound camera broke which was stressful enough. To get that Canon 550D I saved up for about half a year, but i'm not normally a stressed person so I sent it in for repair (another 400 pounds) and spent 3 nights trying to edit what I had got and made something actually quite good. The video though? It ate itself. It went corrupt and with all the original raw files again, there's no way to get it back or even edit it back from scratch.

Then I log on today after having calmed down and left it alone for a few days and get to work on editing the other one I had made on my own with like 5 weeks planning. Gone. Completely different reason this time. As some of you might also know I went to NYC last week and had one of the best holidays of my life...it was really fantastic and I spent the whole thing looking down the viewfinder of a camera to show to my barely existant audience nowadays. So to me, that holiday is basically gone. I'm throwing away all of my SD cards and deleting my expensive editing software because it's all sh*tty and I can't work with it anymore and I think it's finally got too much. I never know if i'll come back to it but...it's my passion. I really can't imagine my life without it.

Not to mention it's basically what I want to do with my life. It's why i'm going to University but clearly i'm not good enough to do it if things like this can happen. Is it just an awful coincidence and after a few months decide whether or not to get back up on the horse or do I really cut the ties and abandon it now. This is the lowest i've been in a while.

Anybody who can try help out, give advice or even, got this far...thank you.

 

[kripto4]

bad luck i guess,
Give it a rest for now then come back to it

 

[Bad Touch Yakushi]

bad luck i guess,
Give it a rest for now then come back to it

I really hope so. I've come away from it before and it mostly works, but never quite this badly. I always come back from a hiatus with a smaller following and less talent.

 

[-S-]

It seems what you called your hobby, has become something of a job. You don't do it anymore to get your stuff out there, and the thrill of getting those subscribers is gone. What it has become, is now trying to meet the demands of your subscribers and viewers, and it just isn't fun anymore. You feel pressured.

For me, it's somewhat similar. I also edit video, AMVs, and I put a lot of time into it, and I love what I do. But my videos barely get any views even when I think I'm uploading even better work than the last. Recently, I've felt like quitting, because nobody is watching my content and I'm just wasting time. But when I do go on hiatus, hearing a really good tune triggers my desire to edit again, so I can understand why you can't imagine your life without editing.

My advice, is to try and remember why you're even editing in the first place. If you remember that reason, you should do it solely for that reason. Also don't feel pressured by having to maintain an audience, do it at your own pace.

 

[amarusboobs]

When a hobby becomes a job, and not a career, that is when you **** up.


OT: Give it a rest for now and get you shit together man.

 

[YowYan]

I'd say you keep a notebook with you wherever you go and if any good potential material comes to mind, write it down for later. Just shake off the pressure of having to please your subscribers.

 

[Bad Touch Yakushi]

I'd say you keep a notebook with you wherever you go and if any good potential material comes to mind, write it down for later. Just shake off the pressure of having to please your subscribers.

Great idea, it's kinda funny though- every time I have no inspiration or take a small hiatus my audience shrinks so I tend to not do it whenever I can. It has been like that ever since the new layout. The new layout cut a lot of youtubers view counts in half.

 

[YowYan]

Great idea, it's kinda funny though- every time I have no inspiration or take a small hiatus my audience shrinks so I tend to not do it whenever I can. It has been like that ever since the new layout. The new layout cut a lot of youtubers view counts in half.

Shouldn't you be focusing on your content instead of the followers? Make sure your stuff is legit, the PR comes later I guess. Heck, advertise your videos on here for example. (it's ok if you're in it yourself for the Show Yourself Video thread)

Goodluck bud :3

p.s.: link me 1 of your vids

 

[Bad Touch Yakushi]

Shouldn't you be focusing on your content instead of the followers? Make sure your stuff is legit, the PR comes later I guess. Heck, advertise your videos on here for example. (it's ok if you're in it yourself for the Show Yourself Video thread)

Goodluck bud :3

p.s.: link me 1 of your vids

Oh I always do, content has always been more important than followship of course. It's just a lot of my videos and some series are entirely dependent on audience feedback. I miss the feeling of community my channel used to have, I primarily make videos for myself to enjoy and as timestamps for when I look back at the past year or so. I've been at it for 5 years and there was a point last year where I was getting 500-1000 views per video for purely original content. That's a really hard thing to do without higher-up connections or popular content like video games or fandoms or minecraft etc.

It's sad to see it mostly gone and my viewcount these days are pretty pathetic but i'm glad for whatever I get. It's nothing like what it used to be but if even just 1 person sees something i've created then that's...that's an awesome thing.

Here's a handful, don't really have favourites.

You must be registered for see links

You must be registered for see links

You must be registered for see links