My Darkness

[Shiina Namikaze]

I know, it's kind of a typical 'Oh my Gosh Sasuke is back' Story. But it's my version of Sasuke returning. I hope you like it!"Love never dies a natural death…
Love dies because we don't know how to replenish its source.
Love dies of blindness and errors and betrayals.
Love dies of illness and wounds; it dies of weariness, of witherings, of tarnishing." -A. Nin

My Darkness: Chapter I

The Darkness in Her Heart

xx

Six years...

Six years of searching, waiting, hoping.

And still there was nothing.

Six years really was a long time; long enough to grow up, long enough to give up on childish dreams. But she couldn't... not when most of her teenage years had been spent pining after him, praying every night that he would come home..

But he hadn't.

Not even a word in six years.

She had actually started to assume that he was dead. Maybe that would be the best for everyone.. if he just died and never came back at all. Even if it was the opposite of what she wanted, if it was better for everyone else, shouldn't she make that sacrifice?

She buried her nose in more of Tsunade's paperwork, trying to focus on those instead of the train of thought her mind had been drifting to lately. It was getting close to that time... the anniversary of Sasuke's departure.

As much as she didn't want to remember, the date was scarred into her memory, haunting her every time the days grew nearer. During that time she tended to close herself off from other people, trying to make it as casual as possible. She would lock her doors, close her windows, and drink the night away until it all seemed to blur together.

That was one of the better things she learned from her mentor. Sake helps numb the senses. Especially in times when it's needed the most.

"No. Enough." She scolded herself, trying to set her mind on the papers again. There was work to be done, and she didn't have time to be living in the past. Tsunade was in no shape to do the work and so Sakura had to pick up her mentor's slack and help.

She couldn't blame Tsunade for the state she was in right now. It was around the time that Dan was killed... and Tsunade was in her drunken state of numbness. Sakura knew enough about her own experiences that she wouldn't want to be dealing with work right now.. and that's what she and Shizune were for.

Naruto exploded into her room then, his hair dishevelled and his clothing rumpled. He'd run here. "What's wrong?" She asked, standing up and moving around the desk.

"Tsunade's calling us to the tower. It's an emergency!" He said, turning and running from the room again. Sakura furrowed her brows together, leaving the paperwork and following after him.

Tsunade rarely ever called for emergencies even if she was drunk she wouldn't make it that urgent. She trailed after Naruto, keeping her eyes on his orange clothes until they reached the Hokage tower. They burst through the doors and stood before the Hokage, waiting for the urgent message.

"What is it?" Sakura insited, waiting.

Tsunade spun around in her chair, watching the two ninjas before her with careful eyes. She knew that it would pain them to hear the news that she was about to bring, but it had to be done. She would rather tell them herself than have them find out on their own.

"It's about Sasuke." She said cautiously, waiting for an outburst, though neither of them gave one. They stood there, frozen in shock, staring at their Hokage and waiting for the rest of it.

They hadn't heard a word about Sasuke for six years... it was like he vanished right off the map, disappeared or dead. But obviously he hadn't been dead... unless that was the news Tsunade was about to give them.

"What about him?" Naruto pressed, leaning against her desk, his eyes wild and wanting the news.

"He's back."

Sakura froze, staring at her mentor with wide eyes. He was back? Why? What in the hell did he need here? Did he come with someone? Did he run all the way here? Was he under arrest? Did he come to attack?

Hundreds of questions were running through her mind. Why now? What was he trying to accomplish that brought him back here? That's the only way she could imagine him returning. He had some sort of ulterior motive... some plan that they were all going to fall for if they let him back unscathed.

"What?" Naruto stuttered, being the first of the two to speak. He always handled bad news better than Sakura, and for that she was grateful.

"He handed himself in. The councils will be gathering soon to decide his fate. For now he is being held in the hospital."

"You think a hospital is going to detain him if he wants to wreak havoc on our city?" Naruto asked, calm yet stunned.

"There are a powerful number of jutsus surrounding his room and some of our anbu are standing guard at his door; not to mention the state he was in when he arrived. He will not be leaving any time soon." Tsunade assured Naruto, rubbing a hand over her face.

But her words didn't matter to Sakura. She was still frozen in place, thinking of how close he was now. He was in the village. Not five minutes away from her. And it was terrifying. Part of her wanted to go and see him; the part that she had been suppressing for so long. The part that chased after him the night he left and begged him to stay. The part that cried for him, threw her feelings in the open for him and was left unconscious on a bench.

The other part, the part that she favoured wanted to avoid him completely. That part hated him for betraying his village; leaving his friends and his teachers. Leaving for revenge and power. That part wanted to go and see him only to kill him. If she saw him, she had conflicted ideas on what she would do. She would either clench her fists and fight him until he was nothing but a bloody pulp, or stare at him in shock, unable to move.

But he was really back.

Tsunade watched her apprentice curiously. Her eyes were wide, still shocked from the news, and she could tell that her mind was running a thousand miles per second. She had expected that reaction from Sakura. The girl had loved him. At least that's what the word around town was. She fell in love with him, begged him to stay and he left her behind.

She couldn't begin to imagine the emotions that Sakura was feeling, though she assumed that there would be more than one, all conflicting with each other. The love, the hate, the anger, the loss, the sadness, the fury and so much more.

"I'm going to see him." Naruto said suddenly, pushing off of the desk and turning around to leave. That was the first time he saw Sakura's shell shocked expression. He rested his hand on her shoulder, giving it a tight squeeze before walking past her. There was nothing he could do to help her, not at that moment. So he would wait until later, until she was ready to talk about it.

"Naruto, wait." She whispered, causing him to stop and turn around in surprise. She turned as well, chewing on her lip. "I'm coming with you."

He rose his eyebrows in surprise, but offered her his hand any ways. She took it gratefully, her own hand shaking in his. Naruto glanced back at Tsunade, a concerned expression on his face. He wanted Tsunade to be ready for a break down if he couldn't handle the brunt of it. Yes, he was her best friend, but Sakura didn't always want to talk to him about things; especially not Sasuke.

Sakura held on to Naruto's hand desperately as they walked out of the Hokage tower, unsure of her decision. What if she lost it when she saw him.. what if, what if, what if.

Normally the hospital was her safe haven, the one place she could go and just work without being bothered. But now it felt like her doom, and the closer she got to it, the further away from herself she felt. If her spirit could un-attach from her body, that's what it felt like... like she was watching herself as she walked nearer and nearer, shaking her head.

It was all too real.

Much too real. Sasuke couldn't really be back. In a few hours she would wake up from this dream and curse herself for dreaming about him. Him. Of all people.

It had taken her so long after he left just to feel... okay. To remember how to smile, how to put the happiness on her face again. He had given so much of herself to him and he had given nothing in return. He left and was met with power and an immediate future. But Sakura was left broken and feeling helpless and alone.

Who did he think he was? Why did he think he could come back here so easily. She would not welcome him back with open arms. If that's what he wanted; for things to go back to how they were before... he was in for a rude awakening. Sakura would never let herself feel that way again.

"If you won't stay then take me with you! I will you help you anyway I can, and I promise everyday will be fun! If you leave… it will be the same as being completely alone to me! I love you!"

She shook the memory from her head clenching her hand into a fist.

That bastard.

She'd been training for six years; trying to become stronger, trying to forget the weak little girl she had been. A useless member of Team 7. And now she was stronger, so much stronger. She was anbu, and that was no small feat. She led missions now. And even the mention of his name and she was reduced to nothing more than a shaky, broken mess.

Too much. It was definitely too much. She couldn't do this. She had to turn around.

But her legs kept walking.

It was a bad sign; a very bad sign. If she didn't even have control of herself now, she could only imagine herself when she finally saw him. Six years was a long time... long enough to change.. to grow up... how much had he changed? How different did he look; how mature?

They were in the hospital now, and Sakura was clinging to Naruto's hand for dear life. As if the second she let go she would tumble into a state of despair.

"It's okay." Naruto murmured. Unsure whether he was using his words to calm Sakura or himself. He had been searching for Sasuke for six years, six years and he turned up once.

A year after he'd left they found him... and he didn't want to come back. So why now? What was he doing back now?

The anbu were stationed at the end of the hall and right outside the door. They took one look at Naruto and Sakura and nodded their heads, allowing them passage. Obviously this was a no civilian zone, as it should be. If Sasuke really did decide to attack the village, then there shouldn't be any immediate casualties.

They stopped in front of the door, neither of them breathing. Six years... and he was on the other side of a door. They didn't move, didn't say anything. It was Sakura who finally reached forward, dropping his hand and pushing the door open.

Naruto watched her in surprise, wondering what was going on in her head. If she was going to be a mess, he needed to be strong. That's how their relationship worked. Naruto was her rock when she needed him to be; always there to listen and help her. But he couldn't help her if he was feeling the exact same way about his return.

He walked in first, moving down the small hall until the room opened up before him. The curtains were open, and there he was, sitting on the bed. In bad shape, but really, tangibly there.

Sakura straightened up; she would not let him see her weak like this. She would not let him reduce her to that girl again. Ever again. She stood slightly behind Naruto, using him as a sort of shield.

Sasuke sat on the bed, staring out at Konoha through the window. He hadn't even turned to look at them yet, and she was more than sure that he had heard them arrive. His chest moved up and down. He was breathing. He was alive. He was there.

Really there.

"It's really you, isn't it." Naruto said, crossing his arms over his chest. Sasuke slowly turned to look at him, his face void of emotion as he watched his former team mate. Then his eyes landed on Sakura.

She squirmed slightly, repositioning herself so she could lean back against the wall. Without it, she felt like she was going to fall over.

He had matured in more ways than one.

He was more muscled, that much she could tell, even from this distance, and probably taller, judging from how tall he seemed even sitting on a bed. His face was still similar, but there was no doubt that he had aged. Probably better looking than before, she would think. But that didn't change the fact that he was a heartless bastard.

She had changed too. She'd gotten taller, stronger, and she knew that her chest had finally filled out. A good thing; she was afraid that all of her training was sure to stunt their growth.

Sasuke never responded to Naruto, merely stared back out the window, looking none too happy. At least that was an emotion; boredness. Sort of...

"Why did you come back?" Naruto asked, moving further into the room and standing in front of the window so he couldn't be ignored.

"I got what I needed." he stated. His voice was deeper, more intense than the thirteen year old voice she recognized.

"You should've known how you would be treated when you came back."

"I did." Sakura couldn't believe how emotionless his voice sounded. If she'd had any doubt that there was no heart in his chest, she was sure of it now. There couldn't be anything in there... it must've been completely hollow.

"Why risk being killed?"

Sasuke let out a breath; something close to a sigh. "I've achieved my goal. Itachi is dead. If Konoha wishes me dead as well then so be it."

Sakura shook her head, narrowing her eyes at him. He got revenge, so now his life had no meaning? He was just going to give up and let them make their decision? Would he not put up a fight if their choice was to kill him? Would he sit there, passively and just wait until he was really dead.

The air in the room was tense and uneasy. They didn't know how to act around each other any more after so many years of separation. They weren't the united team they once were... there was no way they could get back together now; no way they could reunite the fight.

"You idiot." Sakura hissed under her breath. Sasuke and Naruto both looked at her, Naruto with his mouth hanging open slightly. Clearly he hadn't expected her to say anything. She had a long list of things that she would've liked to say to him, none of which were too pleasant, but things that he needed to hear. She scoffed and shook her head, pushing off the wall. "You never should have come back."

Naruto watched in complete shock as Sakura breezed from the room. He hadn't thought she would speak at all, and even if she had, he never would've thought something so callous would have come from her mouth.

He looked back to Sasuke, who was where she stood with emotionless eyes, as if what she said might have actually bothered him, though Naruto didn't think anything could really bother an Uchiha.

Naruto sighed, crossing his arms and leaning against the wall. "Sakura has changed a lot you know." He commented, looking at his former team mate from the corner of his eye.

He was staring down at his hands, his expression grim. At least grim was something.

xx

Sakura collapsed against the hospital wall once she was outside and in the fresh air. Sasuke was back. He was back. Back, back. Maybe for good back. And she could hardly bare to look at him, not to mention the way her heart was pounding against her chest.

But it wasn't love, she reminded herself. Not any more. It was anxiety; she was nervous to see what he was like now after six years, and it seemed she was disappointed. He was still incapable of showing emotion, and therefore, she concluded, incapable of letting people in, of loving. So he wasn't worth her time.

She meant what she said; he shouldn't have come back. It would've been better for everyone if he stayed missing. One day of the year mourning was enough... she didn't need it everyday. Yet saying those words to him had hurt her in an odd way. Like she wanted to hurt him, to make him feel the pain he had caused her, but saying it had caused her some pain as well.

He was the darkness in her heart, the one that refused to completely go away no matter hard hard she begged it to. Now it was back and stronger than ever, making her remember things; the way she trailed after him, the way she longed for his touch. And she wanted nothing to do with them.

Sakura was a different person now; she didn't care about him. But the fact that she had to continue reminding herself that proved the opposite, didn't it?

Something wet splashed on her legs, and she was taken aback by the fact that she might be crying. Over what? Over the return of an emotionless bastard? But then she looked up at the sky, the rain coming harder. Nature was crying for her.

She straightened up, pushing herself from the wall and marching herself into the streets, not looking back. All she wanted now was her warm bed and the idea that Sasuke was a hell of a lot further away.

Every step she took was distancing herself from him, and she liked it better than moving closer to him. It was funny how much her priorities had changed since then. She would've done anything to find him back then, and now all she wanted was for him to get out of Konoha. Leave her to that one day, and move on.

The rain was coming harder, the clouds grey and unfriendly. This weather reminded her of funerals; it always seemed to rain when people were mourning a death. Seemed symbolic enough now.

She passed by merchants who were hurriedly gathering their supplies to bring it out of the rain. And there she was, walking slowly, letting the rain soak into her body. At least then she knew this wasn't a dream.

Without that reminder, she felt like it could be. He was giving himself up to die. To die because his life no longer had a purpose. He'd achieved what he wanted; Itachi was dead, so really, revenge was out of the picture and now his life was meaningless.

But that wasn't fair to anyone.

He couldn't just give up. What if the council decided not to kill him? What would he do then?

She opened the door to her apartment, stripping off her wet clothes and moving herself to stand in the hot shower. At least here she could clear her mind and warm up at the same time.

So many questions that she just wanted him to answer; even if she couldn't stand to talk to him. Naruto could ask them for her, Sasuke seemed to respond to him, happily or not.

If her questions were answered, she had some idea how she could move on. At least she would know what he was up to; at least he wouldn't be surprising her. But that was only if he survived the council meeting.

The next morning, Sakura was paged to the Hokage Tower again, her heart racing. What other news could Tsunade have? Orochimaru was outside the village, looking for his vessel to return back to him, the Leaf Village was going to be at war, Sasuke was causing problems that she needed to deal with. Hopefully it had nothing to do with Sasuke and more to do with her position as a ninja. She was anbu. Tsunade should be giving her a mission.

She needed to kill something.

Tsunade looked up from her paperwork, her eyes serious. "Sakura." She said calmly, acknowledging her Apprentice's arrival. Sakura couldn't help but notice all of the empty sake bottles in the corner of the room. Shizune would be disposing of those soon, or maybe Tsunade wanted them gone now, and that's why she'd been paged.

Her mentor put down the papers and let out a sigh, standing up and moving so she was leaning against the front of the desk, closer to her pupil and closer to help her if she received a bad reaction.

"You understand that the council will be gathering soon."

Sakura rose an eyebrow, not liking where it was going. Of course she had hoped for too much when she wished it not to have to do with Sasuke. "Yes, I do."

Tsunade paused, weighing her words as she always did whenever Sasuke's name was brought up. "I won't be attending the meeting."

"You're just going to let the elders decide? Don't you think they would appreciate your input?" Tsunade shrugged, bobbing her head.

"They may want mine, but I was thinking of sending someone in my stead."

She paused, appraising her mentor with questioning eyes and biting down on her bottom lip. "Did you summon me to tell me this?"

"I want you to go, Sakura."

No.

Sakura couldn't believe that she was going to ask her decided whether or not Sasuke lived or died. That wasn't fair in any way.

"No." She said suddenly, turning to leave.

"Sakura, I wasn't asking."

She whirled around, tears springing to her eyes. "Is this some kind of test? You want to know how I feel about him?" She yelled.

Tsunade remained in her position, waiting for her outburst to end. "Sakura."

"I hate him! I hate him for what he did to me. I hate him for leaving, I hate him, I hate him, I hate him!" Sakura cried out, her chest heaving with sobs. "I hate him so much." She whispered, wrapping her arms around herself.

So then why did the thought of the elders killing him bother her so much?

Tsunade pulled Sakura into her arms, giving her a hug that she knew she needed. "I think that Naruto would want some say in it. You are the voice of his classmates, Sakura. The ones that chased after him when they left. This is your chance to make things right. To set things the way you think they should be."

She shook her head, crying into the Hokage's shoulder. "I can't. I can't do it."

"Yes, you can." She whispered, releasing the anbu squad leader from her embrace. "I trained you to be strong physically, Sakura. Now I'm teaching you to do it emotionally."

Sakura took a deep breathing, wiping her tears away. A ninja in her position wasn't supposed to cry; she wasnt' supposed to take sides, she was supposed to remain emotionless when it came to political matters.

And now she found herself right in the middle of it. Deciding whether or not a missing ninja that handed himself in should live. If Sasuke should live. If it was anyone other than that bastard, the decision would have been easy. He had betrayed the village, killed hundreds upon thousands of people. Yes, he should die. She couldn't let the fact that they were former team mates cloud her judgement. Shen needed to remain completely neutral during the meeting. He was just a man. He wasn't anything special to her.

She didn't even know him.

"Okay."

 

[Shiina Namikaze]

You are now at a crossroads. This is your opportunity to make the most important decision you will ever make.
Forget your past. Who are you now? Who have you decided you really are now?
Don't think about who you have been. Who are you now? Who have you decided to become?
Make this decision consciously. Make it carefully. Make it powerfully."

-Mr.Ant

My Darkness: Chapter II

Life or Death

xx

She didn't think the day would come so soon. It seemed like she hadn't had any time to think about her decision, how she was going to persuade the council to either spare his life or kill him. She didn't even know which side she was on yet, which was even more frustrating.

Obviously, telling them to kill him was the easiest argument. He betrayed his village for the enemy, took up allegiance with the man who killed the Third Hokage; with the man that destroyed a great part of Konoha, leaving it nearly in ruins. He was a missing-ninja, a powerful one at that. He was able to kill his brother without killing himself in the process.

A good person to have on their side if he was spared.

Sakura walked into the room with her head held high, wanting to appear like the strong and confident person Tsunade had trained. Wanting to ensure that Tsunade had not made a terrible mistake in sending Sakura in her place. She would not let the elders gaze upon her and laugh at her inexperience in matters like this.

Most of the Clan Leaders were already present, ready to represent their respected clans. Aburame, Akimichi, Hyuuga, Inuzuka, Nara, and Yamanaka leaders all watching her speculatively as she entered and took her seat. They intimidated her; having so much experience in political meetings. She was sure that they had participated in plenty of life or death decision making.

This was Sasuke though.

Shikamaru was there was well, dressed in his jounin flak jacket. He was speaking in the best interests of the Academy and the children within it. He gave her a curt nod and a half smile as she sat, not surprised in the least to see her.

Homura Mitokado and Koharu Utatane walked in after her, followed by a few armed protectors. Sakura watched them curiously. Why would they need to bring guards into a meeting like this? Did they think someone was going to flip out and attack them if they didn't do what they wanted?

The moment the two elders sat down, Koharu looked to the door, watching it expectantly as though they were waiting for another member to join them. Homura watched her eagerly, like he was ready for her to break at any minute and leave the room, claiming that she was unsuited to help make the decision.

But she would not.

Tsunade had asked her to do this and she would. She wouldn't let the two of them intimidate her into doing what they thought was best. She would voice her opinion, and give them the pros and cons of either killing him or keeping him alive.

If only she knew which side she supported.

Nearly five minutes later, two anbu pushed through the doors, restraining Sasuke in between them. Sakura froze, shocked. Did they normally let the criminal into the meeting room as they decided his fate? Or was that just another little test for her, to see if she would still speak out.

She wouldn't disappoint Tsunade. She couldn't.

Sasuke was forced into to kneel in the middle of the room, the tables the clan leaders were seated behind creating a sort of barrier around him. There were two chakra blocks placed on each of his ankles and wrists; apparently Konoha was more afraid of Sasuke than she thought. If her decision was to keep him alive, she was going to have a hell of a task ahead of her.

His presence must have been the reason for the two elders bringing guards with them. If Sasuke somehow managed to break free of his blocks and decide to try and kill them all, they would be protected. Thanks for the memo, Sakura thought bitterly.

"We have called this meeting to determine the fate of Sasuke Uchiha." Homura said, clasping his hands together and waiting expectantly for someone to speak up.

"He betrayed our village." Inoichi said after a moment, his arms crossed firmly over his chest.

"He is an unpredictable shinobi. His death would have the Hyuugas at ease." Hiashi said, his lips in a grim line as he stared at Sasuke.

"I believe that we are all mutually agreeing on this matter." Shibi Aburame muttered, turning to look at the two elders. "Sasuke Uchiha must be killed.

It was hard for Sakura to listen to them being so eager to kill him without hearing the pros and cons of each side. "You are all so concentrated on why he should die." Sakura said calmly, glancing briefly at each of their faces to see what her opinion said to them. "We need to explore both options."

Koharu narrowed her eyes at Sakura before giving a nod. "I would like everyone to come up with a reason why Sasuke Uchiha should not be sentenced to death right now." She said, her voice aged and wise.

Tsume Inuzuka spoke up first. "He is a strong fighter. Something the Leaf Village could use if it comes to war."

Hiashi was quick to demean her reason. "And if he decides to switch sides? This boy is a loose canon. We can't control his allegiances."

"Hiashi, that is enough." Koharu said calmly, silencing him. "I said a reason for him to be spared."

Hiashi wrinkled his nose in distaste. "I have no reasons for you, Elder Koharu."

Shikaku Nara was appraising Sasuke curiously, as though he was deep in thought. "Though the Uchiha did betray us for one of our main adversaries, he did so out of love for his family, if that means anything. He did come back."

"He could be here to get back inside of our ranks. He is not to be trusted!" Hiashi yelled, outraged. Sakura stared at him in surprise. She had never thought that Hiashi would be someone to so easily lose his temper, especially in front of all the clan leaders.

"Hiashi!" Choza shouted, his deep voice reverberating throughout the room. Obviously he was sick of the Hyuuga and his input. Then, in a much more political tone, "Sasuke Uchiha is a very skilled ninja as Tsume pointed out and would be useful to us. But his faults outnumber the traits that can benefit this village."

Sakura chewed on her lip. They had valid points. But her eyes were drawn to Sasuke, sitting helplessly in the middle of the room, listening as his fate was determined. And as of right now, it wasn't looking good. And unfortunately for her, it was beginning to tear at her heartstrings.

Yet she couldn't just tell them that she wanted him to live; almost everyone in the village knew that when she was a genin she had feelings for him. If she was suddenly trying to save his life they would say she was incompetent to be making such a serious decision when it came to him. And she wanted to prove them wrong.

She still didn't understand why Tsunade had giving such a heady burden to her. Why make her choose? What was she expecting from her? What if she made the wrong choice? But she couldn't dwell on that. Sakura needed to focus on her intentions in this meeting. And as of right now, that was skillfully trying to find a way to spare Sasuke's life.

She didn't care what happened to him after that; but she would not be making the decision to kill him. Not today.

"He handed himself over. Don't you think killing him would be letting him off easy?" She asked, studying their reactions. Hiashi narrowed his eyes at her, Shikaku rose a questioning brow, and the rest of them seemed to be shocked that she had spoken her opinion not once, but twice.

"Do explain." Homura said, gesturing for her to continue.

Sakura took a deep breath, sitting forward in her chair. "He accomplished what he wanted; his brother is dead. And now he returns to Konoha. Why? He knew the risk of his return. He knew that a meeting such as this would be held to determine his fate. Someone wanting to live would never have come back here."

"You're saying that he came here to be killed?" Shibi asked.

"I'm saying I think he regrets leaving and has come back for retribution."

"And his idea of retribution is being executed." Inoichi said skeptically, his arms crossed over his chest in a defensive position.

She shrugged, leaning back in her chair again. "I just think that you're doing exactly what he wants you to do. Giving him the easy way out. Why not make him pay for betraying Konoha? Why not make him try desperately to earn his way back?"

The room fell silent, as if they couldn't believe that she had come up with a valid argument to keep him alive. No one moved, they all just stared at her.

Trying to cover herself up, she added, "If it turns out that he is, in fact, untrustworthy, then we can reconvene this meeting."

Shikaku nodded his head, agreeing with her statement. It seemed that she was proving a point that hadn't occurred to any of them. She may be young and inexperienced, but she had a sharp mind, and he admired that in a shinobi. "I agree with Sakura."

At Shikaku's agreement, a few of the other clan leaders seemed to think harder about what she was saying. When before they were set on ending Sasuke's life, they were now thinking things through, having seen the other side of the argument. She had planted a seed of doubt in their minds, the only thing she needed to strengthen her argument.

Only Hiashi was glaring daggers at her, still fervent in his decision. He was too proud to even think for a moment that some lower class shinobi could have the right answer. Whether he believed what she was saying or not, he would stick with his own reasoning.

She cast her eyes to Shikamaru, who was sitting silently at the end of the table, absorbing everything that was gone and undoubtedly thinking of some crazy point of his own, but never speaking.

Homura and Koharu looked doubtful of the new mood settling amongst the group. They were all considering keeping Sasuke alive, and Sakura knew that scared them. If they weren't frightened of him already, injured and contained, they wouldn't have brought guards with them. So the idea of having him walk the streets of Konoha must have scared them half to death.

"Very well." Homura spoke at last, standing up from his chair. "Those in favour of keeping Sasuke Uchiha alive, raise your right hand." He spoke with a sinister tone in his voice, as if he was daring people to raise their hands and spare his life.

Sakura rose her hand, scared for a moment that she would be the only one. She wouldn't be made a fool of. Not today.

To Sakura's immense surprise, Shikaku, Shikamaru, Choza, Shibi and Tsume all rose their hands, nodding briefly in her direction. It was a proud moment to know that her speaking skills were improving. She had just convinced five people to spare his life when their minds had been made up before they even walked into the meeting.

With great effort, Homura nodded his head, forcing himself to speak. "Sasuke Uchiha will remain alive for the time being. He will be under a tight patrol and will be forced to help around the village in every way possible." He turned his eyes viciously on Sasuke, still kneeling in the middle of the room. "Starting from nothing." He sneered.

"This meeting has come to a close." Koharu said hesitantly. "You are all dismissed." She muttered, following closely behind Homura as they left the meeting room escorted by their guards.

Sakura felt a slight weight lift off of her shoulders. She couldn't help what happened to him from that point on, but she was glad that her hands were clean when it came to Sasuke. Had she agreed with the others and proposed that he be killed, she would have that guilt with her forever, filled with hundreds of 'what ifs.' She had spared his life, and now she wanted no other part in it.

The clan leaders filed out one by one, Hiashi leading the pack and storming out quicker than she expected. He would make sure that Sasuke was not received well by the people; at least not by the Hyuugas.

Sakura followed behind them, glancing briefly at Sasuke to try and figure out what he was thinking. Was he happy that she had spared him or angry that he wasn't able to get out the easy way? Was happiness even an emotion Sasuke was capable of or would he always be that vengeful soul?

It didn't matter to her. He didn't matter.

xx

Sakura was glad that the meeting was over and she had succeeding in sparing Sasuke's life. What he did with it now was, for the most part, up to him. He could waste it, or he could see it as a second chance. But she didn't care what he did! So long as she had no further part in it.

Tsunade had requested that she report to her office right after the meeting to update her on what happened. She felt her hands trembling as she took the stairs to the Hokage's office. What if Tsunade didn't approve of her decision? Then again... if she had been worried about the outcome, why give her such an important task? If she really cared about the result, why not make the declaration herself?

She stood before her teacher, snagging her bottom lip between her teeth and chewing mercilessly. What if, what if what if?

"What did the council decide?"

"Sasuke is going to live." She reported, angrily detecting a bit of relief in her voice.

Tsunade spun her chair around and started sorting through her papers. "That's what I thought you would do."

Sakura furrowed her brows together. "What?"

"Shikamaru said you handled yourself very well in there."

"Shikamaru told you already?"

Tsunade grinned, dropping a large stack of files on her desk. "I needed some eyes in there."

"So why not just go in there yourself?" She demanded, frustrated.

"Then you would be looking to me for guidance. This was something I wanted you to do on your own."

"This was just a test, then?"

"I suppose."

Sakura slammed her fist down on her teacher's desk, sending all of the papers flying. "You made me choose whether Sasuke Uchiha, Sasuke Uchiha, lived or died? What kind of sick joke was that?" She yelled vigorously.

The Hokage eyed the papers that were now scattered all over the floor. "Are you going to clean that up?" She hung her head, defeated, and nodded. Tsunade stood up, breezing past her and ruffling some more papers. "Consider it part of your training, Sakura. Appreciate the other things I'm trying to teach you."

She left the room then, leaving Sakura with stacks of papers to sort.

Sakura growled furiously under her breath. It may have been just another lesson to Tsunade... but it had been the exact opposite for Sakura. It was a critical decision that she didn't think Tsunade had the right to take lightly. She knew the way Sasuke had broken her. Tsunade knew that and still she put her through it.

What if she had told them to let him die? Then she would have the weight of his death on her shoulders only to find out that it was just a little test to see how she handled a meeting under pressure. A life or death situation shouldn't be something you use as a little political test.

It had to be a ****ing joke.

Now all Sakura wanted to do was get out of the village; get some missions thrown her way. Being anbu had a lot of responsibility, and sitting idly; re-stacking paperwork was not the ideal way to be doing her job.

There was always something to defend, always someone to protect. There were always jobs to be done. She didn't even care if it was one of the easiest missions in the book, if it got her out of Konoha, it would be the best one she'd been on.

She needed to get out of there and away from the very idea of Sasuke.

The papers took almost half of the day to reorganize and she had wished that she didn't have such a hot temper. She slumped into her teacher's chair, staring out the windows at the city.

It was going to be weird seeing Sasuke walking around; an almost free man. Koharu and Homura had made it clear that he was to be escorted. Two members of anbu at all time would probably suffice. But seeing their fear, Sakura wouldn't be completely surprised if they sent half of their troops around with him.

As much as she wanted to think that things could go back to normal now that he was back, she knew it wouldn't be true. Sure, no one would have to go on life-threatening missions to find him any more, but there would be other missions, and his return was sure to cause more than unsettling feelings amongst many people.

She was sure Naruto was happier now though. Even if he didn't drag him back with his own two hands, having him return of his own free will was reward enough for all of his hard work.

"Hey, Tsuna-"

Naruto paused, looking at the girl sitting in the Hokage's chair. "Sakura?"

She felt a weak smile force its way to her lips when she saw him. Her best friend. The only person that really knew what she had been going through for the past six years. The only one that could even fathom how she was feeling upon that bastards return.

"I just heard about the meeting." He said, standing before the desk and crossing his arms over his chest. "Why didn't you tell me?"

That was a good question... why hadn't she told him? Him of all people? He could have helped her decide, though she knew that he wouldn't want him dead. Even if a dead Sasuke would have most likely been more emotional, Naruto preferred his friends alive.

"Do you think that you can be friends with him again, Naruto?" She asked suddenly, looking away from him and back out the window.

Naruto was caught off guard, but didn't want her to avoid his question. Why hadn't she told him that she would be deciding Sasuke's fate! Wasn't that something best friends were supposed to share with eachother?

"Don't change the subject."

"It wasn't your burden. Tsunade imposed it on me." She whispered, meeting his eyes again. "Your turn."

He sighed, leaning against the edge of the desk and chewing his cheek. "I want to be. He's our team mate-"

"Was. He was our team mate. He isn't anymore." Sakura corrected.

His expression softened and he shrugged. "It's Sasuke. Kami knows he doesn't have many people. He doesn't have anyone..." Naruto trailed off, remembering how that had felt. To be completely alone, to feel like there was no one you could talk to. Team 7 had changed that for him, and so he needed to help his team mate and get him back on track.

So he was away for a bit... er... six years. It was nothing a little ramen and time couldn't fix.

"I know how you feel about him now. But that doesn't mean I'm going to leave him alone." He added.

Sakura hated it when Naruto went into his serious modes. She hated it even more when he was right. Just because she didn't want anything else to do with him didn't mean that Naruto couldn't either. Whether Sasuke wanted to believe it or not, he and Naruto were more similar than they let on.

She let Naruto walk her home, happy just to be in his presence. He was always so happy, and sometimes she wished that his joy could rub off on her. Then her smiles wouldn't be forced, then her tears would be from laughing too hard.

The more she wanted to go to sleep, the more her mind buzzed with annoyances. One annoyance really. One annoyance spread into a million problems. She was going to see him around Konoha, even if she tried her best not to. She could avoid him all she wanted but she was bound to run into him and she knew she wouldn't be able to say anything to him.

What could she say?

She didn't even want to think about seeing him, never mind thinking of something to say. If she asked him a question, he would deflect it with one of his signature 'Hns.' and then leave her angrier than she was to begin with. No. If he wanted to be cold and emotionless to her, then she could do it too.

But this was only in the situation that she ran into him. Which, hopefully, wouldn't happen. She would have to thrust herself into her work life. Go out on missions, barricade herself in the hospital. He would be too busy trying to earn his way back into the shinobi ranks to get near her. Which was exactly what she wanted.

Him as far away as possible.

Her guess was that he would have a lot of community work to do. A lot, a lot. The elders wouldn't let him get off unscathed. There would be work, and plenty of it. The poor genins wouldn't have missions for weeks; all of it would be piled on Sasuke.

Sakura groaned, realizing that she was now wishing ill will on him.

She needed sleep and a clear mind. Or maybe some sake.

Neither seemed fathomable, and she was out of sake after Tsunade paid her a visit not too long ago. So she remained in her bed, staring at the ceiling, forced to listen to the thoughts as they floated through her mind. Sasuke this, Sasuke that; powerless to get rid of them. If there were people in the world that could erase her memory, she would have paid them a great deal.

If they could just go away.

If he would just go away.

 

[Vayne]

nice when will you continue the namikaze clan one

 

[Shiina Namikaze]

"He gave her nothing, and took it with him when he left."
-Anonymous

My Darkness: Chapter III

Still Just as Weak

xx

Sakura found the streets of Konoha haunting now. She imagined that around every turn Sasuke would be walking with his guards, ready to intercept her. So she changed the route she took to work. Instead of using the roads, she jumped on the rooftops, knowing that Sasuke would be forced onto ground level in fear of him trying to run away.

She was pissed off.

Even if she didn't want to, she was changing her daily routines for him.

But she couldn't help it. If she did see him again... she wouldn't be able to stop herself. From beating him to a pulp, screaming at him or running into his arms she wasn't sure. But she knew it would be something she would come to regret later; changing little things like her route to work could save her from embarrassment.

It had been almost two weeks since Sasuke's return, and one week since the dreaded meeting. Thankfully, Tsunade had been keeping her busy and out of Konoha for the most part, though the days when she worked in the hospital made her uneasy. He could walk through the doors any time he needed for a check up.

When she and Naruto had gone to visit him in the hospital, he had been in pretty rough shape; cut up pretty bad and bruised. Which made her wonder what had happened to him right before he came back. And also made her wonder if the medics had left him in that state to keep him, for the most part, immobile. Though there was a voice in her mind telling her that Sasuke Uchiha couldn't be restrained. If he had something to do; he would do it.

Since the visit, she had sworn she had seen him leaving the hospital numerous times, though her mind could very well have been playing tricks on her. He'd been everywhere in the corner of her eyes lately, lurking around. The very idea of him walking in when she was at work sent an uncomfortable chill down her spine.

She took a few deep breaths as she stood on the roof of the hospital, hoping and praying that today wasn't one of his check ups.

The women watched her every time she came through the doors, always whispering and gossiping; Sakura had half a mind to yell at them and set the rumours straight. But she wasn't even sure what they were talking about; when she dared to get closer for some eavesdropping they scattered, almost afraid of her presence. She did see they way they looked at her though, filled with pity and sympathy.

Which she wanted none of.

They didn't deserve to be treating her that way when they had no idea how she was feeling! You couldn't just take one look at someone and decide their emotions or how they were responding to a certain situation.

"If you want to know something just ask!" She yelled in the middle of the lobby, clamping her mouth shut immediately after. That had been intended as a thought; something for her to fume over. But at least now, instead of pity, the ladies were looking at her like she was a psycho.

She could picture the new rumours already. 'Sasuke's return has driven Sakura Haruno mad!'

**** them.

Sakura let out a sigh and ducked out of the room, enclosing herself in one of the maintenance closets. At least in there she could think without hearing all of the nurse's petty chatter.

She had been forced into hiding. Because of him. Indirectly, all of her troubles lately were because of him. He was affecting every part of her life without even knowing it! Unless that had been his plan all along.

He had to have some kind of plan... there was no way he just came back because he missed the scenery. He wasn't someone who cared about stupid things like that. So then why? Why the hell was he invading all of their lives?

Why the hell was she letting him?

Why had he suddenly dropped allegiance with Orochimaru? Yes, his brother was dead, but it didn't seem smart of him to suddenly make an enemy out of a very powerful sannin. Sasuke was smarter than that. Unless Orochimaru had sent him here to weasel back into their ranks, just as the extremely sceptical Hiashi has suggested. If that was the case and she had spared him...

Maybe it wasn't the best idea.

She had vowed to kill him once, more of an internal declaration than one she would really take action on. She promised herself that if she ever saw him in battle, she would kill him or die trying. He had become a danger to her village, and it was her duty to protect it. Obviously she didn't stay true to the promises she made to herself... or maybe it was simply because she wouldn't have been able to do it. Even if she wanted to; that idiotic genin was always in her mind, reminding her that she had loved him once.

She hadn't loved him. She hadn't even known him. She loved his looks and the idea of making Ino and the rest of his admirers jealous but she hadn't loved anything else about him. What was there to love in the first place? He was a cold, emotionless ass hole and as far as she could tell nothing had changed in six years.

The closet's previous darkness was interrupted as the door opened, revealing Naruto, his arms crossed over his chest. Sakura smiled sheepishly, trying to find some way to explain herself.

"Out. Now." He muttered, narrowing his eyes at her. She sighed, pushing herself to a standing position and moving into the hall, following her best friend as he moved into one of the vacant rooms. "What are you doing?"

"I-"

"You're letting him ruin everything. Letting him." His glare intensified. "You're stronger than that."

"I know!"

"Then why did I just find you in a closet?" He accused.

Sakura hung her head and shrugged. There was no use lying to Naruto. He always knew whether or not she was telling the truth. She knew that she was at a low point. But it had happened before and she would get out of it. She just needed a little bit of time to adjust to the whole thing.

He pulled her into his arms and sighed. "People are going to talk." he said suddenly, as if he had known all along why she had hidden herself. "It's just the way we're built." Naruto smiled, taking a step away from her. "It will pass."

But could she take it until it did?

She nodded, forcing a smile to her lips. "Okay."

xx

"I love you with all my heart!"

Sasuke snapped his eyes open, glaring at the wall. Sleep would not find him; instead he was being haunted with memories that he didn't want. There were times when he had regretted leaving Konoha, and knew that earning his way back into respectability was going to take some work.

However he couldn't decide if it was what he wanted. After so many years of having a goal, he had found himself a little bit lost, and so returned to the place where it all started. There were doubts weaved into his idea of returning, but he was sure of his intentions.

He needed to be trusted in Konoha.

He was forced to listen to the clan leaders deliberate whether he should live or die when he should have been holding a seat there himself. He was the last member of the Uchiha clan, and that had motivated him to leave Konoha; to gain power and avenge the death of his family. Understandable that he was marked as a missing ninja - there had been countless attempts to retrieve him, some that never made it close. But being allowed to roam free for the most part didn't seem like a suitable punishment for what he had done. Betrayed his village and people who claimed to be his friends for revenge.

The room he was in seemed too big; too empty. The elders, behind the council's back, had ordered him to be kept in his home for the next two weeks, only being let out for a visit to the hospital where the Hokage herself would inspect his injuries.

The injuries he had sustained from his battle with Itachi hadn't fully healed; he hadn't really wanted them to. After what Madara had told him, he wanted to remember the pain. Like part of his brother, the one that had dedicated his life to saving him, was still with him. The only thing other than memories he really had.

And as the pain healed, his memories seemed to fade.

It was probably for the best. He didn't need the memories to make his heart wrench every time he thought of his brother. The brother he had spent most of his life trying to kill. The brother that he had thought to be a murderer, was actually someone who sought for peace.

"For the sake of Konoha's peace. And above all, for your sake, Sasuke Uchiha, he wished to die as a criminal... a traitor. Honor... as compensation for dishonor. Hatred in exchange for love. And still, Itachi Uchiha died with a smile on his face. He entrusted the Uchiha name to you, his brother, while at the same time deceiving you forever."

It took him a long time to really absorb everything Madara had told him. It was very hard to believe that Itachi had been doing everything in the best interest of Konoha. The brother that he hated; despised for most of his life was a completely different person. He misled him for eleven years. Eleven years.

He'd abandoned everything to seek power and avenge his clan. Now that he had achieved his goal, he felt empty and alone. However, there were still some people who needed to be dealt with for him to feel completely at peace.

"I love you with all my heart!"

He cursed her voice as it echoed through his head. He didn't want any distractions. He would prefer complete quiet and solitude than having her voice yelling at him every time he closed his eyes. To see her face the day she left, and then see it again when they visited him in the hospital. She had changed so much since their last encounter.

Sasuke was almost sure that she hated him now, which was probably for the best. Hatred was a good fuel, it would motivate her to train; to become stronger. Hatred and revenge. She would want revenge on him, wouldn't she? To hurt him as he had hurt her. He had his reasons for everything he did. He wouldn't say they were right, but they were the reasons he stuck by.

Naruto, at the very least, was making an effort. It was just the way he was though, couldn't leave someone alone. Even if Sasuke wished him away, he knew he would be back the next day, inviting him for ramen or to take a walk. Sasuke was indifferent to the idea of friendship now. He had given up on that six years ago and hadn't believed in it since. There were no friends. There were people who wanted something from you and needed to get close to you to do so.

However, despite Naruto's efforts, he could tell that he was holding back; that he wasn't the same person he was six years ago. Then again, none of them were. He had missed a lot in his previous team's lives. Things that had changed them and shaped them for better and for worse. But Naruto, the usually happy go lucky Naruto seemed distant around him, like he was only taking him for ramen under orders, or because he had made a promise to this person on this day at this time and he always stuck to his promises.

Or it was because of Sakura. Because her resentment was so intense that it was starting to rub off on Naruto.

But if she hated him so much, why not propose he be killed at the meeting? Why defend him? Then again, women always did mysterious things that usually had no motivation. Most of them were impulsive and hormonal and he really wanted nothing to do with them. However, Sakura wouldn't get out of his head.

"You never should have come back."

Her voice, at least.

The voice that made him regret everything that he'd ever done to wrong her. The one that made him regret leaving and not taking her with him. The one that made him want turn himself off so he wouldn't be able to hear it any longer. He didn't want to feel that way, and yet her voice wouldn't go away. It was agonizing him.

There were a lot of things he didn't want to remember, and that night; her voice and expression on that night was one of them. She had no idea what he was going to have to do. The things he would have to endure. Maybe she knew now, but she didn't then. She wasn't ready to come with him, even if it's what she wanted most.

Maybe leaving her on the bench was a little harsh. But it was a step to creating his barrier. The one that made him the emotionless jerk that he was so often called back then. Back then had been nothing, if only those girls could see him now.

It's not that he didn't have emotions, hell, he knew he did. He just didn't portray them to the world. It made him weak if people could read him so easily. The wall was necessary. He didn't need anyone to get beneath it; he didn't trust anyone enough.

A lesson he had learned throughout his life: the only person you can trust is yourself.

And so he had. He did everything himself.

Now, to have to earn the trust of people... it was a new experience to say the least. There were shinobi in the Sound that had to attempt to earn his trust but it had never been the other way around. It would be... interesting.

Sleep was the only thing to do right now. And it was the only thing he found slipping away from him.

xx

Naruto forcing her out of the hospital and taking her for ramen with Shikamaru and Chouji distracted her for a little while. She completely forgot about Sasuke and for an hour felt almost normal. Like she wasn't tearing herself up over him prior to the meal. Like she wasn't feeling as though she would break down and cry for him.

She watched her best friend and Chouji as they shovelled the ramen into their mouths like they hadn't eaten in weeks. Letting out a soft chuckle, she exchanged a knowing look with Shikamaru and turned to her own bowl, picking up a scoop with her chopsticks.

"You know, we haven't done this in a long time." Naruto mumbled though a full mouth, slurping the remainder of noodles before pushing his bowl away and eyeing her nearly full one.

"The two of you get expensive." Shikamaru muttered, cracking a smile as Chouji looked up angrily from his bowl. His friend, in response, heatedly yelled something that came out unintelligible around his food. "And the conversation isn't great either."

The Akimichi stood up suddenly, nostrils flared as he glared at Shikamaru. "Take that back!"

Sakura felt herself laugh, really laugh as she watched her friends. Why couldn't she be happy like them all of the time? Why did Sasuke have to overthrow her thoughts every time something reminded her of him? For one day, she just wanted to be someone else. Someone that didn't know Sasuke and was indifferent to his return.

She could be that person. She just had to stop letting herself sink into a ridiculous state every time his name was mentioned, or any time she could possibly run into him. She couldn't let him think that he'd won. She could act indifferent as well. It would take a little practice, but it could happen.

It would happen.

"He gave me this gift, and he made me understand what I am. I'm an avenger. To follow my path I must have power at any price, even if it means being consumed by evil." He turned to look at her, the curse seal spreading over half of his body. "Sakura, tell me, which one of these people did this to you?"

Sakura felt her stomach clench and she forced a hand to her mouth to prevent herself from vomiting. That memory... Sasuke...

"Sakura, are you okay?" Naruto asked, Shikamaru and Chouji both watching her with unmasked concern.

Why did it feel so real? The way he had been protecting her... Sakura shook her head and pressed her hand harder against her mouth as her stomach lurched again. What was so different about this memory? Why did she feel so sick?

Then she realized why. That was the first time any of them had seen a glimpse of his darkness. The first time she realized how cruel he could be; and yet she hadn't stopped loving him then. Despite how terrified she had been, she had ran to his side to stop him. And he did stop. That moment gave her a hint of hope that he could love her back.

But why was she feeling so nauseous?

That was also the moment when he realized what power he had. The moment when he realized that Orochimaru could give him power that Konoha couldn't. The moment when the idea of leaving to join him was planted in his head.

"Naruto." Sakura choked out, tears streaming down her face. "Take me home."

With wide and confused eyes, Naruto picked her up in his arms, nodding at the other two shinobi as he jumped away. She had been so happy, and then all of a sudden, like the flick of a switch, she was crying. He was going to have to adapt to her mood swings while she was transitioning to his return. Of course he knew that was what it was about, but Sakura was going to need to talk to him about it a little bit more if he had any hope of understanding the way she was feeling upon his return.

He couldn't guess everything.

When he arrived at her apartment, Naruto set her down, watching her carefully as she stumbled inside. It was like she was in a trance, putting one foot in front of the other because she knew it would bring her somewhere. Robotically, forced movements.

"Sakura, talk to me." He said, closing the door behind him. "What happened?"

Sakura couldn't do anything other than curse herself for sinking so low yet again. Why were those things affecting her? When she was trying so hard to block them out it seemed they pushed back with more force. It was killing her.

"I'm still just as weak as I was when he left Naruto." She whispered, sliding down to the floor. "He's getting to me without even lifting a finger."

Naruto sighed and crouched down in front of her, his blue eyes firm. "Sakura, you have no idea how much you've changed. We were all shocked when he came back, but it's understandable that it hit you the hardest." He pulled her to her feet, not wanting to see his best friend wallowing in sadness. "You just have to understand that this Sasuke isn't the same one that you were in love with, okay?"

He squeezed her hand and smiled. The smile that could make almost anyone that saw it grin in spite of themselves. "He's still just as much of an ass, though." Sakura let out a little laugh, reaching up to wipe away her tears.

Naruto was right. This Sasuke wasn't the same one that she'd been in love with, even if on some level she wished it was. The same level that wished he could just morph back into the life that they had six years ago. Hopeless thinking. But this Sasuke was completely different. He had different morales, he was much more dangerous, much... scarier.

She didn't love the Sasuke that scared the villagers into their homes. She had loved the one that protected his team mates with his life; the one that protected those close to him.

This imposter was nothing more than the empty shell of the boy she knew.

He would walk around, and maybe speak to people but he would be a ghost to her. She would focus on her real friends. Indifference; that was key. Create the emotionless façade that he seemed so good at use it against him. Put up the wall that shattered when he returned.

That was something that had pissed her off. Six years of not caring whether or not his name was mentioned because she had repaired the heart that he had broken when he left. But upon the news of his reappearance, the wall shattered. And every time someone mentioned his name she felt on the verge of tears. Maybe it was because she was silently acknowledging that it wasn't the same person, and she just needed Naruto to make that clear for her.

But she had shed enough tears over him.

It had to stop.[/COLOR]

 

[Shiina Namikaze]

nice when will you continue the namikaze clan one

yeh

 

[Young Thug]

Bro. Multi posting again bro? Put these into the original post bro.

 

[Shiina Namikaze]

Bro. Multi posting again bro? Put these into the original post bro.

sir i told you to stay off my post cuz i dis like you so please do so and bye bye:flaw:

 

[Tsuki]

:T_T:OMG awesome story

 

[Reji]

Cool but If I may say so you should consider Posting your stories on seperate threads
-Hides behind table-!!!

 

[Shiina Namikaze]

Cool but If I may say so you should consider Posting your stories on seperate threads
-Hides behind table-!!!

...i would but i don't know how -_- i want to follow rules but its hard

 

[Shiina Namikaze]

Meowmix meow
mix so delicious!
Maybe, meowmix is like.. pizza for cats.Anywho, thanks for the review/favourites/alerts readers! Nice to know you're appreciating my story! By the way, I wish I could let you all know how excited I get when I get reviews! Like a little kid in a candy shop but ten times better because... well I don't know why. But thank you for your awesome reviews!

P.S You evil little non-reviewing but favouriting fiends. I still love you. But I even put a little filler for a lack of imagination for a review AT LEAST USE THAT. "This time I won't try to reach you.
You're already too far gone.
Slipped past and I didn't notice,
Did we ever sing the same song? -Brightwood

My Darkness: Chapter IV

Strangers

xx

Upon Naruto's request, Sakura was kept out of the village quite a bit, delving into her anbu life instead of sulking around her apartment. It was good for her, Naruto reasoned with himself. She had to get away from Konoha and keep her mind elsewhere.

But Tsunade had other plans entirely.

"She needs to face him, Naruto. If we want her to return to the Sakura we love, then she needs to get over this petty fear." She said, crossing her arms over her chest as Naruto narrowed his eyes at her.

"Petty fear? She was in love with him and he betrayed her! Don't you care about how Sakura would feel if you thrust her into a situation with him?" He almost yelled, resisting the urge to slam his hand down on her paper-ridden desk.

"Watch what you say." She hissed. "Sakura has been my apprentice for years and I care about her just as much as you do. Don't you dare suggest otherwise."

"Then you know what will happen to her if you force her to try and speed up the healing process. She won't be able to handle it!"

"Sakura is a strong kunoichi, Naruto. She is an amazing fighter and a skilled medic. But what good is she on the battlefield if a single name can reduce her to tears, hm?"

Naruto backed off slightly, realizing that she had a small point. But Sakura's well being was more important to him than her fighting skills. "I'm not agreeing to your methods, Hokage." He said, using her formal name as a small rebellion. "Sakura needs time."

"I need her in top shape. She's not just a regular kunoichi, Naruto, she's Anbu. Her emotions cannot get in the way." She picked up her glasses and moved a small stack of paper in front of her. "Consider it a lesson."

He bit back a snide remark he wanted to make. If this was meant to be a lesson then he didn't approve of the Hokage's way of teaching. She shouldn't be forcing Sakura to deal with something that had caused her so much pain. Naruto still hadn't completely recovered from the years of being alone, with no one there for him. And he and Sakura were different. He knew that her healing time would be much more extensive, and not something to be rushed.

Instead of making any comment, he breezed out of the room, needing to blow of some steam.

There was no reasoning with that woman when she had made up her mind, much like Sakura; a trait she had unfortunately inherited from her mentor. It was charming at times, when he didn't want her to do something, but the moments when it was used against him he wished that she had never trained under the Hokage.

But it was a part of her, and a part that he took with the rest of the goodness she had.

xx

Sakura was glad, for some reason, to finally be back in Konoha. At least for the one day break she had before her next mission. Exhausted as she was, one night's rest was all she needed to be back in the game.

It had been a long mission, only an escort, but lengthy nonetheless. The man refused to be carried by Kiba, and so they had to walk beside him at his slow pace all the way to Suna. A standard trip that would have taken less than three days took them almost a week, just to transport some old geezer with his veggies.

Apparently, apparently, that was a mission suitable for two Anbu. Two Anbu Captains were escorting a farmer. Tsunade had a twisted sense of humour some times. Sakura supposed that she was giving her easy missions just to get back into the feel of things upon Sasuke's return. Sure, it had been a little traumatic for her, but that hadn't affected her ability in battle at all. If anything, it made her more pissed off that he thought he could show his face back in Konoha and try to wiggle back into society.

Oh no.

She was almost happy that Hiashi Hyuuga had been so angry with him living; at least she could hang out with Neji and Hinata and know that there would be no chance of running into him. Even if they did, Neji would have his cousin out of there in seconds, and Sakura would follow.

Therefore, no run ins with that bastard.

"So the mission was successful?" Tsunade asked, her eyes never leaving the endless paperwork that stacked up on her deck.

Kiba ground his teeth together, agitated by being sent on such a lowly mission. "Sakura and I are Anbu, Tsunade. Was there any question that this mission would go wrong?"

She looked up briefly, her eyes landing on Sakura before shrugging and averting her eyes back to her paper.

Sakura's fists were clenched tightly at her sides, almost ready to start yelling at her mentor again. She sent Kiba with her because she actually thought that she would fail this mission on her own. She was losing her faith in her apprentice, it seemed. Before Sasuke's return, she trusted Sakura with some of the most important tasks of a mission, and now she had changed to sending her on medial genin missions.

"You may leave." Tsunade said, waving them away.

With a deep, calming breath, Sakura turned to the door, leaving the room more than a little bit angry. Tsunade was supposed to believe in her. Not feel like she was failing. Even if she was failing, her mentor should be pushing her harder than ever to get back on the right track.

"You okay?" Kiba asked, furrowing his brows together as she slammed her fist against the wall.

Blinking away the anger, she forced a smile to her lips and nodded. "Of course!" Though she knew that he probably wouldn't buy it. He wasn't stupid.

Despite his sceptical eyes, Kiba left her alone, sensing that she would rather be alone.

And she was thankful that he had a keen sense for people's emotions. Because solitude was exactly what she wanted at that moment. To be alone and fume to herself how so many things seemed to be going wrong. Yet she knew that it wouldn't do herself any good. She needed to train; training would keep her mind focused and let her take out her rage on something other than the objects around her.

So that was where she headed once she had regained her head. She put all of her effort into training, relocating herself to the forest so she wouldn't completely destroy the grounds. Time seemed to speed up when she was focused on something, and before she knew it the sun was setting beneath the mountains, the moon rising in its place.

But she wouldn't stop; because she knew the second she did unwanted thoughts would rush to the surface and she would be stupidly upset again.

She trained until she felt her chakra depleting too low to continue. And even then she merely stopped with the heavy stuff and started throwing her kunai around, hitting the makeshift targets she had created around the area.

It was then that she felt a strange chakra coming towards the forest. She paused her breathing coming out in ragged puffs as she tried to figure out who the mysterious chakra belonged to. It wasn't someone from Konoha, of that much she was certain. So then who?

She heard footsteps before she saw who it actually was, and when she did, her heart sunk in her chest and she froze, her eyes trained on his face as he stood calmly at the edge of the small clearing. The wind blew the leaves up around them and thrashed their hair, creating an almost surreal scene. It was the first time she had seen him knowing that he could see her as well. And it made her uneasy.

Her hands were clenched at her sides, unsure of how to proceed. She had made a promise to herself to pretend like she wasn't hurting over his return, so jumping away and running cowardly from the situation would only prove herself wrong. She couldn't force herself to talk to him though; that would be going too far. She didn't even care why he had come out here, she just found herself needing to get away from him.

Sakura took a deep breath and walked forward, focusing on each step she took.

Sasuke remained still in his position, watching her with blank eyes as she sauntered towards him. For a moment, he thought she might stop and hug him, or say hello because that was the girl he remembered. The one that tagged along after him everywhere, the one that was obsessed with his well-being and what he thought of her.

How wrong he was.

She brushed past him without a word, refusing to even meet his eyes. It struck a chord within him; willingly or not at the idea of her despising him. It was what he'd expected, what he'd hoped for but seeing it in its raw form was different. She had changed more than he knew and he felt somewhat responsible for the malignant hatred that had been brewing inside of her. He was the ultimate cause, or at least the final straw of its origins.

"Sakura." he said before he could stop himself.

She froze again, paralysed by the sound of her name on his lips though she couldn't stay to hear what he had to say. She knew that if he apologized, there was a sliver of a possibility that she would forgive him and run into his arms. Sakura nearly scoffed at the thought; Sasuke Uchiha didn't apologize to anyone. Her pause didn't last for long before she forced her feet to start moving again, needing to get herself safely away from him. The quicker the better.

As she walked away, he felt a little bit confused. He knew someone had been training, but never in a million years had he thought that such a strong chakra had come from Sakura. So why had he gone there?

He turned to watch her retreating back, honestly surprised at how much she had grown in six years. Some part of him had expected her to remain the helpless girl she was when they were Genin. But he was wrong again. There would be no guessing any more.

He had to know.

xx

She was proud of her display of emotionless during their first real encounter. She had stuck true to what she said she would do, and it was progress to say the least.

The thing that bothered her the most was how he had found himself there, and how he had travelled there without his guard. Had he killed them? Had he injured them enough that they wouldn't follow him and couldn't call for help?

No, Sasuke wouldn't do something like that if he was trying to earn back his clan's reputation in the village; his own reputation. So then what happened to them?

She wanted so badly to go and investigate the house he was living in, to see for her own eyes that his guards were unharmed but she acted against it. If someone were to see her... especially after she had made the decision at the meeting... people would question her judgement. Why had Tsunade let her get mixed up in politics in the first place? Sakura had no intention of becoming Hokage; that had always been Naruto's dream and not hers. So why put her under such scrutiny from the elders and clan leaders? Surely she had some sort of reasoning.

Usually Sakura would think of it as something Tsunade would want her to learn, but with the way the Hokage had been acting lately she just wasn't sure what it meant. A test, or some cruel sick joke that was being played.

But that aside... Sasuke was still bothering her regardless of what she wanted. Why had he gone there? Of all the places in Konoha- no, it wasn't even in Konoha. Was he trying to escape then? No, he wouldn't do that yet. He must have known it was her then. There was no way he would have approached a random person in the forest training. It was just stupid and out of character.

Then again she didn't really know what he was like anymore. Maybe he was reckless and idiotic now. Who knew? They were nothing but strangers now. He was nothing but a stranger.

She knew that wasn't completely true. It was Sasuke. There was no way she could completely ignore him forever. Not when there was so much history with him and Naruto. Not when she had spent so long pining after him. No matter what she wanted there was no way to completely erase him from her life. It would be like rewriting her entire Genin years. It was impossible.

It was her fault for letting herself get so attached to him back then. If she hadn't felt so strongly, she never would have let him get so woven into her memories. If someone could have predicted what he was going to do... she would have...

But there was no way anyone could have known Sasuke would betray the village. Everyone knew he was after his brother, but they assumed he would remain in Konoha until he felt he was strong enough. There was no way she could have known. But she'd found herself piling the blame on herself. If she had tried harder to stop him that night. If she hadn't been selfish enough to want to go alone and be the one person that brought him back. She should have brought someone with her that night; someone to make him stay when her confessions bounced off of him like empty words.

She'd been a stupid girl back then and she regretted every minute of it.

However, regret didn't get anyone very far in the long run because it would never change. If you regretted spilling a glass of milk, regretting it further into the future won't put the milk back in the cup, it would remain spilt forever. That's what Sasuke was. Spilt milk. Rotten spilt milk.

Sakura smiled in spite of herself and took another deep breath, wanting to rid him from her thoughts.

She needed to sleep eventually; Tsunade had another mission for her tomorrow. D-ranked or not, it would be a mission outside of Konoha.

xx

"You want me to walk around Konoha all day?" Sakura asked incredulously, doubting her mentor's sanity.

"Yes."

"As an Anbu Captain, you want me to walk around Konoha all day and say hello to the citizens?"

"Yes."

"Have you gone mad?"

Tsunade smiled and shook her head. "It really is an important mission, Sakura."

"For an Anbu Captain." Sakura repeated, her brows furrowed and head cocked as she watched the woman sort through the endless paperwork. "You couldn't give this to one of the Jounin? Or even Chunin?"

"I reserved this mission especially for you." Tsunade stated.

"You don't think my skills can be utilized better on the battle field or in the hospital?"

"This is your mission, Sakura. Take it or go home."

Sakura decided that her mentor really was playing a sick joke on her. One that there would be no end to. She would just have to grin and bear it until Tsunade grew tired of the game. But of all people at all times. She had to choose Sakura right when that idiot came back.

"Very well then, Hokage."

She turned to leave, still flabbergasted at the waste of her skills. She had skill, she knew that much without being conceited. Shinobi must be confident in their abilities if they're going to win battles. They couldn't go in doubting themselves because their opponent would catch wind of it.

Confidence and determination.

Two things that she didn't feel on the mission Tsunade just gave to her.

Sakura never just walked around Konoha. She was always busy; always running errands or sleeping the day away until her next mission. Forcing herself to walk slowly through the village opened her eyes to things that she had rushed past before. For example, there was a wall on one of the buildings where people were having conversations on the stone in some kind of ink. And a pond full of paper cranes floating around on lily pads.

Ahead of her, a man was plowing a small garden, getting ready to plant their seeds for the spring to come. She remembered when Naruto had tried to start a little garden in the window of his apartment. It had been a bust, but seeing him so excited over dirt and seeds was still a hilarious memory.

The person continued to work, stopping only briefly to stare up at the cloudless sky.

That was when Sakura saw the man's face.

Sasuke.

Obviously being forced to do D-ranked missions just as she was - just like the old days. All they needed was Naruto to start complaining and it would be back to normal.

Tch.

Despite the sunken feeling Sakura felt in her chest, she stopped to watch him for a minute. She was so over him. Staring at him for a little while wouldn't matter. Though the more she had to tell herself that proved the opposite, didn't it?

This wasn't the same Sasuke - something she had to keep reminding herself of. He had changed. His goal had twisted from revenge for his family to a thirst for power.

It was surprising to see the girls simply walking past him though. Back then they all would have stopped to ogle, just as she found herself doing; watching his muscles as he dug into the ground. It was no secret that Sasuke was more attractive now than he had been back then, but the things he did and the choices he made tainted any affection that she may have felt for him.

Now she was simply watching out of boredom. A way to pass the time until Tsunade sent someone to retrieve her for a real mission.

Sakura sighed and leaned her back against the building, watching a few birds flit playfully across the sky. Everything around them was the same, but they were both so different now.

When she looked back to Sasuke, she wasn't surprised to see that he had spotted her. But she wasn't going to cower under his gaze. She leveled her eyes with his and shook her head slowly.

His emotionless face didn't change and Sakura felt something inside of her shift.

It no longer bothered her to see him. Because she didn't love him. No, not anymore. Now the only thing she felt when she looked upon him was pity. Pity for this stranger trying to make his way back into society. Pity for someone who was trying his best to atone for his mistakes but knowing that few people were ready to forgive him.

He would have a long road ahead of him, and Naruto could be a part of it if he wanted to. She wanted nothing more to do with him. She didn't want to think about the memories or the way she had felt. She wanted to move on; forgive and forget without the forgiving part.

If he ever wanted her to forgive him, he had a long way to go. There were no actions that would speed up the process, he would just have to wait until she was ready, and who knew how long that would take. For all she knew he didn't even want her forgiveness. For all she knew he really did have an alternate plan for returning and she was just a nuisance. Again.

But until that point so far off into the future that she didn't even want to think about it, she would keep him at least ten feet away from her at all times. She wouldn't talk to him if she could help it, wouldn't be involved in anything he was if she could help it.

She needed to put him back in the spot in her mind that didn't care. The one that she had lived with for six years. The one that had helped her to heal.

Because so help her she would not go through that kind of torture that knowing Sasuke ensued. She had to throw away the rotten milk!

Sakura reached up and traced the anbu tattoo on her arm, reminding herself how much she really had grown, and that she could prevent herself from being affected by him again. She was a strong kunoichi now, and Sasuke wouldn't ruin that.

She pushed herself off of the wall and turned away from him, proceeding to walk around the village and smile at the citizens. Her mission - to smile at people and let them know that the Konoha ninja cared about them.

Tsunade must have been drunk.

Not crazy, but still drunk.

"Oi! Sakura!" Naruto called, hopping down from the rooftops to land beside her.

"Did Tsunade send you?" She asked hopefully.

"No, I was going to ask you to come and train with me."

She looked at him out of the corner of her eye, a smile smile forming on her lips. "Naruto, if it would get me off of this mission, I would train with Lee."

Naruto laughed and clapped a hand onto her shoulder. No one really liked training with Lee, at least not when he was with Gai. She remembered Tenten telling her stories of their chunin days, when they would train for hours on end with no breaks.

Unfortunately, as she trained with her best friend, she found her mind wandering to Sasuke. Wondering what it would be like to train with him - he would have completely new techniques, and so did she.

Would he go easy on her because he thought she was weak? Or would he give it his all and beat her senseless.

"No." Sakura muttered under her breath, dodging some of Naruto's kunai. "I'm stronger than him."

Even if that was what she told herself, she knew it probably wasn't the truth. Yes, she had killed Sasori, but she'd had help. Sasuke had killed Itachi and who knows how many other elite ninja on his own.

He was powerful.

There was no denying that; it was a reason that he was kept alive. A threat to them all, it was much better to have him on their side.

And he wasn't just brute strength either, before Sasuke had left, he had been brilliant. Always able to calculate what the opponents next move would be and counter appropriately. Whether that was because of his Sharingan or not it didn't matter.

Would he be able to predict what she was going to do?

No.

Because he didn't know her style any more.

He didn't know anything about her anymore.

So, I can't decide whether I like this chapter or not. I like some parts, but it happens.

If you love it, review.
If you like it, review.
If you hate it, review.

And also, for my sneaky little readers who don't like to review, I've prepared something for you:

"What happened to Sasuke's guards? And why did he go out there? IS SASUKE A STALKER? LE GASP!"

Much love, :sy::flaw:

 

[Shiina Namikaze]

25 chapter for dis damn story thanks to my so called friends jnow i have to type it with a boy i dont like -_-